CHAPTER XXV
RICHARD II. AN UNBALANCED KING
Got off the throne
Richard II was only a boy at his accession: one day, however, suspecting that he was now twenty-one, he asked his uncle and, on learning that he was, mounted the throne himself and tried first being a Good King and then being a Bad King, without enjoying either very much: then, being told that he was unbalanced, he got off the throne again in despair, exclaiming gloomily: “For God’s sake let me sit on the ground and tell bad stories about cabbages and things.” Whereupon his cousin Lancaster (spelt Bolingbroke) quickly mounted the throne and said he was Henry IV, Part I.
Richard was thus abdicated and was led to the Tower and subsequently to Pontefract Castle where he died of mysterious circumstances, probably a surfeit of Pumfreys (spelt Pontefracts).
APPENDIX
THE PHEASANTS REVOLT
They did this in several reigns under such memorable leaders as Black Kat, Straw Hat, John Bull and What Tyler
I. Objects:
(a) to obtain a free pardon for having revolted.
(b) to find out which was the gentleman when Adam delved and Eve span. (The answer was, of course, Adam, but the mystics of the Church had concealed this dangerous knowledge.)
(c) to find out who was King and which of them was the Leader of the Rebellion.
(d) to abolish the Villein.
The Pheasants’ Revolts were therefore purely educational movements and were thus easily suppressed.
II. How Quelled:
(a) the Pheasants were met at Smithfield by the King who
(b) riding forward alone on a white horse answered object (c) by announcing (I) “I am your King,” and (II) “I will be your leader.”
(c) the real leader was then slain quickly by one of the Barons.
(d) a free pardon was granted to the Pheasants [see object (a)].
(e) all were then put to death on the ground that they were Villeins [see object (d)].
These Revolts were thus clearly romantic episodes, and a Good Thing, and the clergy were enabled to prevent the pheasants finding out the answer to object (b).