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A Comic History of the United States

Chapter 14: CHAPTER XI.
By Livingston Hopkins
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About This Book

A satirical illustrated chronicle offers a humorous retelling of American history through caricatures and witty commentary. The author lampoons early exploration and colonial foundations, sketches the peculiarities of individual colonies, and satirizes relations among settlers, indigenous peoples, and rival European powers. Later sections treat imperial policies, episodes leading to rebellion, and key Revolutionary moments, blending pictorial gags with playful narration. Each chapter pairs observations on local customs, political disputes, and notable events with exaggerated illustrations, producing an irreverent, episodic survey that emphasizes comic perspective over strict accuracy.

CHAPTER XI.

PENNSYLVANIA SEEN THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY—WM. PENN STANDS TREAT—A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE—HOW TO PRESERVE THE HAIR.

The first colony of Pennsylvania was founded in 1682 by Wm. Penn, a Quaker gentleman of steady habits, who, with remarkable foresight settled at Philadelphia, because he thought it an eligible place to hold a Centennial Exhibition. He took out naturalization papers, and began by studying the prejudices of the natives with a view to getting upon the good side of them. He smoked the calumet of peace with them and treated them to hard cider, under the mellowing influence of which they said he was like “Onas.” How well he deserved this compliment the reader will comprehend at once by reference to the accompanying illustration. The coincidence of resemblance is indeed striking, though it must be admitted he is not unlike a cigar sign either.

PENN’S TREATY WITH THE INDIANS

Wm. Penn bought property in Philadelphia, where he resided for thirty-six years, getting along very well with the neighbors. In proof of which we may mention that in 1718 he went back to England very well off indeed, where he died and was buried in his own hair.