The Project Gutenberg eBook of A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Title: A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Author: Irvin S. Cobb
Release date: December 4, 2022 [eBook #69467]
Most recently updated: October 19, 2024
Language: English
Original publication: United States: Garden City Publishing Co., Inc, 1923
Credits: Mardi Desjardins & the online Distributed Proofreaders Canada team at https://www.pgdpcanada.net
BY THE AUTHOR OF
“SPEAKING OF OPERATIONS,” ETC.
A LAUGH A DAY
KEEPS THE DOCTOR
AWAY
His Favorite Stories as Told by
Irvin S. Cobb
GARDEN CITY, NEW YORK
GARDEN CITY PUBLISHING CO., INC.
CL
Copyright, 1923,
By George H. Doran Company
Copyright, 1921,
By the Central Press Association
Copyright, 1922, 1923,
By the McNaught Syndicate, Inc.
A Laugh a Day Keeps the Doctor Away.
Printed in the United States of America
To
Three of the Best Story-Tellers I Know:
ROBERT H. DAVIS SAMUEL G. BLYTHE
HAL S. CORBETT
FOREWORD
The anecdotal form of humor is largely, I think, a native institution. Americans did not invent or discover the short humorous story, it is true. Indeed, some short stories still are making their rounds which were old when the Pyramids were young. Probably the piper who piped before Moses rounded out his act with one of the standard jokes of the period—a joke which, dressed in new clothes, is doing duty somewhere to-day. The mother-in-law joke could not have originated with Adam, because Adam had no mother-in-law, but I have not the slightest doubt that Cain began using it shortly after his marriage. And beyond peradventure Father Noah wiled away many a dragging half hour in the Ark by telling Shem, Ham and Japhet one of the ones which begin: “It seems there were two Irishmen named Pat and Mike. And Pat said to Mike, ‘Faith, an’ be jabers!—’ ”
So it would not do for us to lay claim to sole responsibility for the short humorous story. But I am quite certain that we, more than any other people, have made it a part of our daily life, using it to point morals, to express situations, to help us solve puzzles. To these extents, at least, it is a national institution with us.
Americans like to tell short stories and like to laugh at them. We are by inheritance a race of story-tellers. There are short stories which sum up the characteristics of white Americans or black Americans, Jews or Gentiles, city folk or country folk more completely than could ponderous essays or scholarly expositions. It is of record that Abraham Lincoln, in the darkest days of the Union, cured more than one crisis with some homely anecdote, some aptly barbed retort.
After-dinner speakers and professional jokesmiths of the stage or the printed page are not responsible for the spread of good stories to the extent with which they generally are credited. That honor properly belongs to telegraph operators and notably to telegraph operators serving on “leased” wires in newspaper offices. Late at night when the flood tides of news matter have slackened off, the operator, say, in New York, tells his friend in Buffalo a good one he heard that afternoon. The Buffalo man passes it along to Kansas City. The Kansas City man conveys it by dot-and-dash to a pal in Denver and next morning folks are grinning over it in the streets of San Francisco.
I always have loved short funny stories. I prefer them to be new, but an old one, properly told, is often better than a new one badly presented. For the contents of this book I have sought to choose those short stories which made the greatest appeal to me. Some of them I heard years ago; others no longer ago than yesterday.
For the book I claim two distinctions, namely, as follows:
There is only one mother-in-law story in it.
There is not a single story in it in which a colored character is referred to as “Rastus.”
I. S. C.
CONTENTS
[Topically Arranged]
A
After-dinner Speakers 16, 130, 142, 355
Agricultural 66, 84, 119, 348, 360
Alcoholic 1, 11, 18, 33, 36, 64, 65, 68, 89, 150, 157, 203, 212, 232, 242, 263, 319, 342
Americans Abroad 10, 24, 94, 215, 219
Animal Friends 5, 15, 25, 71, 117, 167, 216, 232, 233, 248, 291, 293, 344
Army (A. E. F. mostly) 21, 30, 34, 39, 62, 69, 71, 73, 97, 156, 161, 162, 163, 354, 359
|
These figures refer to the numbers of the stories and not to the pages in the book. |
B
Baseball 32, 184, 228, 278, 357
Bridal Couples 92, 200, 205, 320
Business 8, 35, 44, 136, 165, 277, 341
C
Canadian 180
Carrier-pigeons 71
Census 40
Children 95, 128, 129, 223, 231, 240, 290, 293, 324, 347, 352
Circuses 19, 123, 171, 209, 336, 366
Clergymen 33, 45, 49, 56, 94, 103, 116, 158, 187
Cricket 164
Criticism 362
D
Dancing 9
Dining 53, 65, 77, 128, 160, 192, 261, 304, 313
Doctors 98, 146, 226, 285, 314, 361
Dogs 190
E
English 16, 24, 46, 130, 142, 184, 235, 249, 321, 337, 345
F
Feminine 9
Football 78
Fortune Telling 158
Frugality 35, 42, 108, 147, 265, 300, 309
G
H
Hangings 14, 17, 54, 56, 295, 316
Health 131
Hebrew 8, 12, 44, 52, 113, 132, 197, 213, 237, 244, 245, 255, 276, 304, 305, 308-310, 335, 365
I
Indian 122
Irish 2, 49, 107, 118, 188, 247, 251, 258, 267, 294, 297, 339
J
K
L
Laziness 350
Lunacy 268
M
Mathematical 323
Matrimonial 29, 81, 92, 106, 124, 135, 205, 229, 238, 302
Mining 333
Miscellaneous 75, 82, 109, 131, 172, 185, 186, 189, 191, 193, 202, 208, 211, 214, 227, 230, 234, 236, 243, 248, 257, 259, 260, 277, 284, 286, 296, 298, 307, 315, 329, 331, 343, 346, 348, 356
Mortuary 107-132, 254, 256, 266, 288, 308, 322
Movies 13
N
Negro 5, 14, 17, 25, 34, 37, 38, 39, 42, 43, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 61, 67, 69, 72, 73, 74, 76, 77, 81, 83, 85, 86, 88, 90, 92, 93, 97, 100, 104, 111, 144, 146, 148, 192, 198, 205, 217, 278, 283, 289, 292, 299, 326, 363
O
P
Prophecy 47, 49, 58, 80, 104, 145, 149, 158, 162, 172, 207, 222, 235
Pugilistic 41, 139, 253, 272, 338
R
Rogues 48, 110, 133, 273, 279, 334
S
Science 181
Scotch 27, 35, 103, 108, 112, 116, 147, 224, 265, 300
Southern 3, 15, 20, 23, 26, 28, 29, 58, 60, 79, 84, 127, 137, 140, 154, 155, 159, 206, 252, 275
Spiritualism 59
T
Theatrical 12, 114, 126, 151, 246, 271
Traveling 4, 47, 55, 93, 96, 157, 221, 222, 310
V
W
Weather 87, 121, 145, 199, 287
Western 4, 22, 50, 51, 264, 279, 291, 349
Y