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A laugh a day keeps the doctor away

Chapter 1: FOREWORD
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About This Book

The collection assembles brief humorous anecdotes and short comic sketches, organized by topical headings, that reflect everyday life and manners. The pieces range from concise one-liners to longer anecdotal narratives and draw on barroom banter, domestic mishaps, occupational foibles, and regional types. Emphasizing oral-storytelling techniques, irony, and tall-tale exaggeration, the volume offers light social observation and satirical comedy intended for quick, entertaining reading.

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Title: A laugh a day keeps the doctor away

Author: Irvin S. Cobb

Release date: December 4, 2022 [eBook #69467]
Most recently updated: October 19, 2024

Language: English

Original publication: United States: Garden City Publishing Co., Inc, 1923

Credits: Mardi Desjardins & the online Distributed Proofreaders Canada team at https://www.pgdpcanada.net

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY ***

 

BY THE AUTHOR OF

“SPEAKING OF OPERATIONS,” ETC.

 

 

A LAUGH A DAY

KEEPS THE DOCTOR

AWAY

 

 

His Favorite Stories as Told by

Irvin S. Cobb

 

 

 

GARDEN CITY, NEW YORK

GARDEN CITY PUBLISHING CO., INC.


 

CL

Copyright, 1923,

By George H. Doran Company

 

 

 

Copyright, 1921,

By the Central Press Association

 

Copyright, 1922, 1923,

By the McNaught Syndicate, Inc.

 

A Laugh a Day Keeps the Doctor Away.

Printed in the United States of America

 


 

 

To

Three of the Best Story-Tellers I Know:

 

ROBERT H. DAVIS           SAMUEL G. BLYTHE

HAL S. CORBETT

 

 


FOREWORD

The anecdotal form of humor is largely, I think, a native institution. Americans did not invent or discover the short humorous story, it is true. Indeed, some short stories still are making their rounds which were old when the Pyramids were young. Probably the piper who piped before Moses rounded out his act with one of the standard jokes of the period—a joke which, dressed in new clothes, is doing duty somewhere to-day. The mother-in-law joke could not have originated with Adam, because Adam had no mother-in-law, but I have not the slightest doubt that Cain began using it shortly after his marriage. And beyond peradventure Father Noah wiled away many a dragging half hour in the Ark by telling Shem, Ham and Japhet one of the ones which begin: “It seems there were two Irishmen named Pat and Mike. And Pat said to Mike, ‘Faith, an’ be jabers!—’ ”

So it would not do for us to lay claim to sole responsibility for the short humorous story. But I am quite certain that we, more than any other people, have made it a part of our daily life, using it to point morals, to express situations, to help us solve puzzles. To these extents, at least, it is a national institution with us.

Americans like to tell short stories and like to laugh at them. We are by inheritance a race of story-tellers. There are short stories which sum up the characteristics of white Americans or black Americans, Jews or Gentiles, city folk or country folk more completely than could ponderous essays or scholarly expositions. It is of record that Abraham Lincoln, in the darkest days of the Union, cured more than one crisis with some homely anecdote, some aptly barbed retort.

After-dinner speakers and professional jokesmiths of the stage or the printed page are not responsible for the spread of good stories to the extent with which they generally are credited. That honor properly belongs to telegraph operators and notably to telegraph operators serving on “leased” wires in newspaper offices. Late at night when the flood tides of news matter have slackened off, the operator, say, in New York, tells his friend in Buffalo a good one he heard that afternoon. The Buffalo man passes it along to Kansas City. The Kansas City man conveys it by dot-and-dash to a pal in Denver and next morning folks are grinning over it in the streets of San Francisco.

I always have loved short funny stories. I prefer them to be new, but an old one, properly told, is often better than a new one badly presented. For the contents of this book I have sought to choose those short stories which made the greatest appeal to me. Some of them I heard years ago; others no longer ago than yesterday.

For the book I claim two distinctions, namely, as follows:

There is only one mother-in-law story in it.

There is not a single story in it in which a colored character is referred to as “Rastus.”

I. S. C.

CONTENTS
[Topically Arranged]

      A

 

Actors  [1]64, 178, 179

 

Aeronautic   153, 187

 

After-dinner Speakers   16, 130, 142, 355

 

Agricultural   66, 84, 119, 348, 360

 

Alcoholic   1, 11, 18, 33, 36, 64, 65, 68, 89, 150, 157, 203, 212, 232, 242, 263, 319, 342

 

Americans Abroad   10, 24, 94, 215, 219

 

Animal Friends   5, 15, 25, 71, 117, 167, 216, 232, 233, 248, 291, 293, 344

 

Arctic   120, 221

 

Art   8, 168

 

Army (A. E. F. mostly)   21, 30, 34, 39, 62, 69, 71, 73, 97, 156, 161, 162, 163, 354, 359

 

Automobiling   105, 303


These figures refer to the numbers of the stories and not to the pages in the book.

 

 

      B

 

Banking   44, 52, 113, 218

 

Baseball   32, 184, 228, 278, 357

 

Bathing   66, 127

 

Bridal Couples   92, 200, 205, 320

 

Bunco Steerers   110, 273

 

Business   8, 35, 44, 136, 165, 277, 341

 

 

      C

 

Canadian   180

 

Carrier-pigeons   71

 

Census   40

 

Children   95, 128, 129, 223, 231, 240, 290, 293, 324, 347, 352

 

Chinese   40, 99

 

Circuses   19, 123, 171, 209, 336, 366

 

Clergymen   33, 45, 49, 56, 94, 103, 116, 158, 187

 

Cockney   199, 201

 

Cowboy   22, 51, 349

 

Cricket   164

 

Criticism   362

 

 

      D

 

Dancing   9

 

Dentists   301, 303, 306, 312

 

Dining   53, 65, 77, 128, 160, 192, 261, 304, 313

 

Doctors   98, 146, 226, 285, 314, 361

 

Dogs   190

 

Dwarfs   262, 325

 

 

      E

 

Educational   57, 268, 276, 346

 

English   16, 24, 46, 130, 142, 184, 235, 249, 321, 337, 345

 

 

      F

 

Feminine   9

 

Feuds   3, 101, 138, 143

 

Finance   70, 241, 250, 296

 

Fishing   111, 175

 

Football   78

 

Fortune Telling   158

 

French   30, 196, 225, 280

 

Frugality   35, 42, 108, 147, 265, 300, 309

 

 

      G

 

Ghosts   86, 351

 

Golf   182, 237, 270, 317

 

 

      H

 

Hangings   14, 17, 54, 56, 295, 316

 

Health   131

 

Hebrew   8, 12, 44, 52, 113, 132, 197, 213, 237, 244, 245, 255, 276, 304, 305, 308-310, 335, 365

 

Horse-racing   141, 327

 

Hotels   11, 227, 330

 

Hunting   5, 337, 345

 

 

      I

 

Indian   122

 

Irish   2, 49, 107, 118, 188, 247, 251, 258, 267, 294, 297, 339

 

 

      J

 

Jails   63, 170, 278, 328

 

Japanese   149, 239

 

Journalistic   41, 195, 281

 

Judicial   38, 90, 91, 115

 

 

      K

 

Ku Klux   305, 353

 

 

      L

 

Lawyers   7, 28, 31, 58, 63

 

Laziness   350

 

Legacies   2, 274

 

Liars   6, 60

 

Literature   280, 284

 

Lunacy   268

 

 

      M

 

Mathematical   323

 

Matrimonial   29, 81, 92, 106, 124, 135, 205, 229, 238, 302

 

Mental Healing   256, 285

 

Mining   333

 

Miscellaneous   75, 82, 109, 131, 172, 185, 186, 189, 191, 193, 202, 208, 211, 214, 227, 230, 234, 236, 243, 248, 257, 259, 260, 277, 284, 286, 296, 298, 307, 315, 329, 331, 343, 346, 348, 356

 

Mortuary   107-132, 254, 256, 266, 288, 308, 322

 

Movies   13

 

Mules   173, 287, 332

 

Music   197, 282

 

 

      N

 

Negro   5, 14, 17, 25, 34, 37, 38, 39, 42, 43, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 61, 67, 69, 72, 73, 74, 76, 77, 81, 83, 85, 86, 88, 90, 92, 93, 97, 100, 104, 111, 144, 146, 148, 192, 198, 205, 217, 278, 283, 289, 292, 299, 326, 363

 

 

      O

 

Oratory   28, 220, 364

 

 

      P

 

Politics   67, 169, 204 217

 

Prophecy   47, 49, 58, 80, 104, 145, 149, 158, 162, 172, 207, 222, 235

 

Pugilistic   41, 139, 253, 272, 338

 

 

      R

 

Railroading   174, 210

 

Revivals   80, 206, 358

 

Rogues   48, 110, 133, 273, 279, 334

 

Royalty   152, 311

 

 

      S

 

Science   181

 

Scotch   27, 35, 103, 108, 112, 116, 147, 224, 265, 300

 

Secret Orders   74, 318

 

Southern   3, 15, 20, 23, 26, 28, 29, 58, 60, 79, 84, 127, 137, 140, 154, 155, 159, 206, 252, 275

 

Spiritualism   59

 

Sports   102, 166, 183

 

Sunday Schools   167, 240, 269

 

Swedish   134, 340

 

 

      T

 

Theatrical   12, 114, 126, 151, 246, 271

 

Traveling   4, 47, 55, 93, 96, 157, 221, 222, 310

 

 

      V

 

Vaudeville   176, 177, 194

 

 

      W

 

Weather   87, 121, 145, 199, 287

 

Western   4, 22, 50, 51, 264, 279, 291, 349

 

 

      Y

 

Yankee   6, 19, 125, 135, 145, 160, 207, 341, 360