THE RUMSELLER'S SOLILOQUY
I had rum, and gin, and brandy
All made of whiskey, too,
And all arranged so handy
To tempt their thirsty view.
Oh! no they need not talk it,
Those were happy times.
With hand in drunkard's pocket
Hauling out the dimes.
Was I starving others?
Then so let it be;
Those children and the mothers
Did not belong to me.
While lying in the gutter,
A mother's loving son,
Conscience began to mutter
At the deed I'd done.
Then came this consolation
Just in the nick of time;
The law of state and nation
Had legalized the crime.
For I had got my license,
Had paid my license fee;
So the squeemish nonsense
Had no effect on me.
The brewers of the nation
To the constitution go,
To save their occupation
From the prohibition blow,
Wonder if the constitution
Would reinstate me here;
Defend me from invasion
While selling rum and beer.
For temperance is booming,
My license now is dead,
And poverty is coming,
My children cry for bread.
Gambling I've been trying
But could not stand the test;
With all my cheat and lying
I came out second best.
I wish I'd stuck to labor,
Earned my bread by honest toil,
Like my hale and happy neighbor
Who ploughs and tills the soil.
My flesh is made of lager,
My muscles weak and lax;
I cannot turn the auger,
Swing the hammer or the ax.
My children's cries so wounding,
My heart with anguish torn;
My troubles so confounding,
I wish I'd not been born.
The thread of life I'd sever
And lay myself to rest;
But thoughts of the forever
Send trouble to my breast.
Should I meet with retribution
Beyond the bounds of time,
Neither law nor constitution
Would legalize the crime.