Earth. Y' are welcome, neighbours; welcome heartily!
I thank you all, and will hereafter study
To recompence your undeserved love.
My house shall stand more open to the poor,
More hospitable, and my wealth more free
To feed and clothe the naked hungry souls.
I will redeem the ill that I have done
(If heaven be pleas'd to spare my life awhile)
With true unfeigned deeds of charity.
I thank you all, and will hereafter study
To recompence your undeserved love.
My house shall stand more open to the poor,
More hospitable, and my wealth more free
To feed and clothe the naked hungry souls.
I will redeem the ill that I have done
(If heaven be pleas'd to spare my life awhile)
With true unfeigned deeds of charity.
1st Neigh. We thank your worship.
2d Neigh. We know full well
Your worship has a good heart toward us.
Your worship has a good heart toward us.
Earth. Alas! you do not know it; but have had
Too sad a cause to know the contrary.
Pray do not thank me, till you truly find
How much my heart is chang'd from what it was;
Till you, by real and substantial deeds,
Shall see my penitence, and be fully taught
How to forget or pardon all the errors
Of that my former miserable life.
Jasper, go in with them; show them the way
Into my house.
Too sad a cause to know the contrary.
Pray do not thank me, till you truly find
How much my heart is chang'd from what it was;
Till you, by real and substantial deeds,
Shall see my penitence, and be fully taught
How to forget or pardon all the errors
Of that my former miserable life.
Jasper, go in with them; show them the way
Into my house.
Jas. I think I had need to show 'em;
No poor folks heretofore have us'd this way.
No poor folks heretofore have us'd this way.
Earth. And I'll come to you, neighbours, presently.
1st Neigh. Long may you live.
2d Neigh. All happiness betide you.
3d Neigh. And a reward fourfold in th' other world.
Earth. How dost thou like this music, Theodore?
I mean, the hearty prayers of the poor,
Whose curses pierce more than two-edged swords.
What comfort like to this can riches give?
What joy can be so great, as to be able
To feed the hungry, clothe the naked man?
I mean, the hearty prayers of the poor,
Whose curses pierce more than two-edged swords.
What comfort like to this can riches give?
What joy can be so great, as to be able
To feed the hungry, clothe the naked man?
Theo. Now, sir, you think aright; for to bestow
Is greater pleasure far than to receive.
Is greater pleasure far than to receive.
Earth. No vice, so much as avarice, deprives
Our life of sweetest comforts, and debars
So much the fair society of men.
I taught thee once far otherwise, but now
Study this last and better lesson, son.
Our life of sweetest comforts, and debars
So much the fair society of men.
I taught thee once far otherwise, but now
Study this last and better lesson, son.
Theo. With more delight than e'er I did the former.
You never yet knew scholar covetous.
You never yet knew scholar covetous.
Earth. And now I think on't, Theodore, I have
A niece, the daughter of my only sister;
Her mother died a widow two years since.
How she has left her orphan daughter there,
I do not know; if she have left her ill,
I'll be a father to her. Prythee, go
Inquire her out, and bring her to my house,
How well soe'er the world may go with her
Bounty's a spice of virtue. Whoso can,
And won't, relieve the poor, he is no man.
A niece, the daughter of my only sister;
Her mother died a widow two years since.
How she has left her orphan daughter there,
I do not know; if she have left her ill,
I'll be a father to her. Prythee, go
Inquire her out, and bring her to my house,
How well soe'er the world may go with her
Bounty's a spice of virtue. Whoso can,
And won't, relieve the poor, he is no man.
Theo. Where lives she, sir?
Earth. 'Tis not a mile from hence,
In the next village. Thou ne'er saw'st her yet;
But fame has spoke her for a virtuous maid.
Young Scudmore, while he liv'd, and was possess'd
Of his estate, thought to have married her,
Whose death, they say, she takes most heavily,
And with a wond'rous constant sorrow mourns.
In the next village. Thou ne'er saw'st her yet;
But fame has spoke her for a virtuous maid.
Young Scudmore, while he liv'd, and was possess'd
Of his estate, thought to have married her,
Whose death, they say, she takes most heavily,
And with a wond'rous constant sorrow mourns.
Theo. Sure, 'tis the same fair maid. [Aside.
Earth. Her name's Matilda.
Theo. The very same! [Aside.] I can inquire her out;
And, if you please, will presently about it.
And, if you please, will presently about it.
Earth. Do, while I my neighbours visit. He doth live
Mighty that hath the pow'r and will to give. [Exit.
Mighty that hath the pow'r and will to give. [Exit.
Theo. This is the same fair nightingale that tun'd
Her sweet sad accents lately to the woods,
And did so far enthral my heart: but that
Fond love is vanish'd. Like a kinsman now
I'll comfort her, and love her virtuous soul.
O, what a blessed change this day has wrought
In my old father's heart! You pow'rs, that gave
Those thoughts, continue them! This day will I
Still celebrate as my nativity. [Exit.
Her sweet sad accents lately to the woods,
And did so far enthral my heart: but that
Fond love is vanish'd. Like a kinsman now
I'll comfort her, and love her virtuous soul.
O, what a blessed change this day has wrought
In my old father's heart! You pow'rs, that gave
Those thoughts, continue them! This day will I
Still celebrate as my nativity. [Exit.
Lady Covet, Fruitful.
Lady C. But is that lawful, to convey away
All my estate, before I marry him?
All my estate, before I marry him?
Fruit. 'Tis more than lawful, madam: I must
Tell you 'tis necessary; and your ladyship
Is bound in conscience so to do; for else
'Twill be no longer yours, but all is his,
When he has married you. You cannot then
Dispose of anything to pious uses;
You cannot show your charity at all,
But must be govern'd by Sir Argent Scrape:
And can you tell how he'll dispose of it?
Tell you 'tis necessary; and your ladyship
Is bound in conscience so to do; for else
'Twill be no longer yours, but all is his,
When he has married you. You cannot then
Dispose of anything to pious uses;
You cannot show your charity at all,
But must be govern'd by Sir Argent Scrape:
And can you tell how he'll dispose of it?
Lady C. 'Tis true: perchance he'll take my money all,
And purchase for himself, to give away
To his own name, and put me, while I live,
To a poor stipend.
And purchase for himself, to give away
To his own name, and put me, while I live,
To a poor stipend.
Fruit. There you think aright.
You can relieve no friends; you can bequeath
Nothing at all, if he survive you, madam,
As 'tis his hope he shall.
You can relieve no friends; you can bequeath
Nothing at all, if he survive you, madam,
As 'tis his hope he shall.
Lady C. That hope may fail him.
I am not yet so weak, but I may hop
Over his grave.
I am not yet so weak, but I may hop
Over his grave.
Fruit. That is not in our knowledge.
But if you do survive him, as I hope,
Madam, you will, there is no law at all
Can bar you of your thirds in all his land,
And you besides are mistress of your own.
And all the charitable deeds, which you
After your death shall do, as building schools
Or hospitals, shall go in your own name;
Which otherwise Sir Argent Scrape would have,
And with your riches build himself a fame.
But if you do survive him, as I hope,
Madam, you will, there is no law at all
Can bar you of your thirds in all his land,
And you besides are mistress of your own.
And all the charitable deeds, which you
After your death shall do, as building schools
Or hospitals, shall go in your own name;
Which otherwise Sir Argent Scrape would have,
And with your riches build himself a fame.
Lady C. I grant 'tis true: but will it not seem strange
That I should serve him so?
That I should serve him so?
Fruit. Strange, madam! no;
Nothing is now more usual: all your widows
Of aldermen, that marry lords of late,
Make over their estates, and by that means
Retain a power to curb their lordly husbands.
When they, to raise the ruins of their houses,
Do marry so: instead of purchasing
What was expected, they do more engage
Their land in thirds for them.
Nothing is now more usual: all your widows
Of aldermen, that marry lords of late,
Make over their estates, and by that means
Retain a power to curb their lordly husbands.
When they, to raise the ruins of their houses,
Do marry so: instead of purchasing
What was expected, they do more engage
Their land in thirds for them.
Lady C. Well, I must trust
The feoffees then: but they are honest men.
The feoffees then: but they are honest men.
Fruit. You need not fear them; they are zealous men,
Honest in all their dealings, and well known
In London, madam. Will you seal it now?
Honest in all their dealings, and well known
In London, madam. Will you seal it now?
Enter Trusty.
Lady C. Yes, have you it?
Fruit. 'Tis here: Here's Master Trusty too,
Your steward, madam; he and I shall be
Enough for witnesses.
Your steward, madam; he and I shall be
Enough for witnesses.
Lady C. 'Tis true: give me
The seal. So now dispose of it as I
Intended, Master Fruitful. [Seals and delivers.
The seal. So now dispose of it as I
Intended, Master Fruitful. [Seals and delivers.
Fruit. I will, madam.
Lady C. Trusty, come you along with me. [Exeunt.
Manet Fruitful.
Fruit. Now all our ends are wrought! this is the thing,
Which I so long have labour'd to effect.
Old covetous lady, I will purge your mind
Of all this wealth, that lay so heavy there,
And by evacuation make a cure
Of that your golden dropsy, whose strange thirst
Could ne'er be satisfied with taking in.
You once had wealth—But soft, let me consider!
If she should marry old Sir Argent Scrape,
We could not keep it; for his money then
Would make a suit against us, and perchance
Recover hers again; which to prevent
I will go spoil the marriage presently.
The sight of this will soon forbid the banns,
And stop his love. Then she wants means to sue us.
Be sure to keep thine adversary poor,
If thou wouldst thrive in suits. The way to 'scape
Revenge for one wrong is to do another:
The second injury secures the former.
I'll presently to old Sir Argent Scrape,
And tell him this: he's meditating now,
What strange additions to his large revenue
Are coming at one happy clap; what heaps
Of wealth to-morrow he shall be possess'd of;
What purchases to make; how to dispose
Of her and hers. But soft, the cards must turn:
The man must be deceived, and she much more.
To cosen the deceitful is no fraud. [Exit.
Which I so long have labour'd to effect.
Old covetous lady, I will purge your mind
Of all this wealth, that lay so heavy there,
And by evacuation make a cure
Of that your golden dropsy, whose strange thirst
Could ne'er be satisfied with taking in.
You once had wealth—But soft, let me consider!
If she should marry old Sir Argent Scrape,
We could not keep it; for his money then
Would make a suit against us, and perchance
Recover hers again; which to prevent
I will go spoil the marriage presently.
The sight of this will soon forbid the banns,
And stop his love. Then she wants means to sue us.
Be sure to keep thine adversary poor,
If thou wouldst thrive in suits. The way to 'scape
Revenge for one wrong is to do another:
The second injury secures the former.
I'll presently to old Sir Argent Scrape,
And tell him this: he's meditating now,
What strange additions to his large revenue
Are coming at one happy clap; what heaps
Of wealth to-morrow he shall be possess'd of;
What purchases to make; how to dispose
Of her and hers. But soft, the cards must turn:
The man must be deceived, and she much more.
To cosen the deceitful is no fraud. [Exit.
Enter Sir Argent Scrape.
Sir Arg. Methinks a youthful figure doth possess
My late stiff limbs; and (like a snake) I feel
A second spring succeed my age of winter.
O gold! how cordial, how restorative
Art thou! What, though thou canst not give me legs
Nor active hands, alas! I need them not;
Possess'd of thee, I can command the legs,
The hands, the tongues, the brains, of other men
To move for me. What need he hands or brains,
That may command the lawyer's subtlety,
The soldier's valour, the best poet's wit,
Or any writer's skill? O gold! to thee
The sciences are servants; the best trades
Are but thy slaves, indeed thy creatures rather:
For thee they were invented, and by thee
Are still maintained. 'Tis thou alone that art
The nerves of war, the cement of the state,
And guide of human actions. 'Tis for thee
Old Argent lives. O, what a golden shower
Will rain on me to-morrow! Let me see:
Her personal estate alone will buy
Upon good rates a thousand pound a year.
Where must that lie? Not in our country here—
Not all together; no; then my revenue
Will have too great a notice taken of it;
I shall be rais'd in subsidies, and 'sess'd
More to the poor. No, no, that must not be.
I'll purchase all in parcels, far from home,
And closely as I can: a piece in Cornwall;
In Hampshire some; some in Northumberland.
I'll have my factors forth in all those parts,
To know what prodigals there be abroad,
What pennyworths may be had: so it shall be.
My late stiff limbs; and (like a snake) I feel
A second spring succeed my age of winter.
O gold! how cordial, how restorative
Art thou! What, though thou canst not give me legs
Nor active hands, alas! I need them not;
Possess'd of thee, I can command the legs,
The hands, the tongues, the brains, of other men
To move for me. What need he hands or brains,
That may command the lawyer's subtlety,
The soldier's valour, the best poet's wit,
Or any writer's skill? O gold! to thee
The sciences are servants; the best trades
Are but thy slaves, indeed thy creatures rather:
For thee they were invented, and by thee
Are still maintained. 'Tis thou alone that art
The nerves of war, the cement of the state,
And guide of human actions. 'Tis for thee
Old Argent lives. O, what a golden shower
Will rain on me to-morrow! Let me see:
Her personal estate alone will buy
Upon good rates a thousand pound a year.
Where must that lie? Not in our country here—
Not all together; no; then my revenue
Will have too great a notice taken of it;
I shall be rais'd in subsidies, and 'sess'd
More to the poor. No, no, that must not be.
I'll purchase all in parcels, far from home,
And closely as I can: a piece in Cornwall;
In Hampshire some; some in Northumberland.
I'll have my factors forth in all those parts,
To know what prodigals there be abroad,
What pennyworths may be had: so it shall be.
Enter Fruitful.
Sir Arg. Ha! Master Fruitful! welcome. How go the squares?
What do you think of me to make a bridegroom?
Do I look young enough?
What do you think of me to make a bridegroom?
Do I look young enough?
Fruit. Sir, I am come
To tell you news; such news as will, perhaps,
A little trouble you; but, if your worship
Should not have known it, 'twould have vex'd you more.
To tell you news; such news as will, perhaps,
A little trouble you; but, if your worship
Should not have known it, 'twould have vex'd you more.
Sir Arg. Vex'd me! What's that can vex me now? speak, man.
Fruit. I thought that I was bound in conscience, sir,
To tell it you: 'tis conscience, and the love
I bear to truth, makes me reveal it now.
To tell it you: 'tis conscience, and the love
I bear to truth, makes me reveal it now.
Sir Arg. What is the business? speak.
Fruit. Do not suppose
That I am treacherous to my Lady Covet,
To whom I do belong, in uttering this.
In such a case I serve not her, but truth,
And hate dishonest dealing.
That I am treacherous to my Lady Covet,
To whom I do belong, in uttering this.
In such a case I serve not her, but truth,
And hate dishonest dealing.
Sir Arg. Come to th' purpose.
Fruit. Then thus it is: my Lady Covet, sir,
Merely to cosen you, has pass'd away
Her whole estate; you shall not get a penny
By marrying her.
Merely to cosen you, has pass'd away
Her whole estate; you shall not get a penny
By marrying her.
Sir Arg. How, man? is't possible?
Fruit. 'Tis very certain, sir; I, for a need,
Could show you the conveyance; for my hand
Is as a witness there; so is her steward's.
Could show you the conveyance; for my hand
Is as a witness there; so is her steward's.
Sir Arg. O horrible deceit!
Fruit. Ask her herself;
If she deny it, I can justify it;
So can her steward too.
If she deny it, I can justify it;
So can her steward too.
Sir Arg. You make me mad.
Fruit. I keep you from being so by a mature
Prevention of your cosening.
Prevention of your cosening.
Sir Arg. O, what hopes
Am I fall'n from; who would believe these false
Deceitful creatures?
Am I fall'n from; who would believe these false
Deceitful creatures?
Fruit. Sir, I could but wonder,
That she would cheat so honest a gentleman,
That came a suitor to her for pure love.
That she would cheat so honest a gentleman,
That came a suitor to her for pure love.
Sir Arg. Love! Mischief of love!
Fruit. Alas, I know
It was not her estate that you sought after,
Your love was honester: and then that she
Should cosen you!
It was not her estate that you sought after,
Your love was honester: and then that she
Should cosen you!
Sir Arg. She shall not cosen me:
I'll have my horse-litter made ready straight,
And leave her house.
I'll have my horse-litter made ready straight,
And leave her house.
Fruit. But when you see her, sir,
It may be your affection will return.
If you should leave her only upon this,
The world would think that you were covetous;
And covetousness is such a sin, you know.
It may be your affection will return.
If you should leave her only upon this,
The world would think that you were covetous;
And covetousness is such a sin, you know.
Fruit. Who? I, sir?
I know your worship does abhor the sin
Of covetousness; but I confess indeed
'Twould vex a man to have been cosen'd so.
I know your worship does abhor the sin
Of covetousness; but I confess indeed
'Twould vex a man to have been cosen'd so.
Sir Arg. Have I liv'd all this while to be o'er-reach'd
And cheated by a woman? I'll forsake her
Immediately.
And cheated by a woman? I'll forsake her
Immediately.
Fruit. Sir, 'tis a happy thing,
When men can love with such discretion,
As to forsake when they shall see just cause.
Some are so fond in their affections
That, though provok'd by all the injuries
That can be offer'd, they can never leave
The mistress of their hearts.
When men can love with such discretion,
As to forsake when they shall see just cause.
Some are so fond in their affections
That, though provok'd by all the injuries
That can be offer'd, they can never leave
The mistress of their hearts.
Sir Arg. I warrant her,
For any such affection in old Argent.
For any such affection in old Argent.
Fruit. I do believe it, sir; you are too wise. [Retires.
Enter Lady Covet.
Lady C. How do you, sir?
Sir Arg. E'en as I may:
You do not mean I shall be e'er the better
For you.
You do not mean I shall be e'er the better
For you.
Lady C. How's this? I do not understand
What you should mean.
What you should mean.
Sir Arg. You may, if you consider:
But if you do not, I'll explain it to you.
Have I deserv'd such dealing at your hands?
But if you do not, I'll explain it to you.
Have I deserv'd such dealing at your hands?
Lady C. As what?
Sir Arg. As that you should speak one thing to me
And mean another; but I'll make it plainer;
You seem'd to love me, and for love it seems,
Thinking to marry me, have made away
All your estate.
And mean another; but I'll make it plainer;
You seem'd to love me, and for love it seems,
Thinking to marry me, have made away
All your estate.
Sir Arg. Nay, 'tis too true,
Or else your chaplain does you wrong.
Or else your chaplain does you wrong.
Lady C. O villain!
Sir Arg. Nay, villain him no villains; is it so,
Or not?
Or not?
Fruit. If she deny it to you, sir,
I can produce her hand, and have the deed.
I can produce her hand, and have the deed.
Lady C. O monstrous villany! O impudence!
Can'st thou abuse me thus, that first of all
Did'st counsel me to do it?
Can'st thou abuse me thus, that first of all
Did'st counsel me to do it?
Fruit. I confess
I gave you way, and for the time did wink
At your false dealing; but at last my conscience
Would not permit me to conceal it longer.
I have discharg'd it now, and told the truth.
I gave you way, and for the time did wink
At your false dealing; but at last my conscience
Would not permit me to conceal it longer.
I have discharg'd it now, and told the truth.
Sir Arg. Twas well done of you, sir: well, I'll away.
Madam, seek out some other man to cheat.
For me you shall not.
Madam, seek out some other man to cheat.
For me you shall not.
Lady. C. Stay, sir, my estate
Shall still be good; the feoffees will be honest.
Shall still be good; the feoffees will be honest.
Fruit. Ay, that they will, to keep what is their own.
Lady C. O monstrous wickedness! was e'er the like
Heard of before?
Heard of before?
Fruit. I know the feoffees' minds.
Enter Freeman, Euphues, Barnet, Dotterel, Lady Whimsey.
Free. How fare you, madam. Wherefore look you sadly
At such a joyful time?
At such a joyful time?
Lady C. O Master Freeman,
I am undone and ruin'd.
I am undone and ruin'd.
Free. How's this?
Fruit. You shall have a fair competence allow'd you.
Euph. What riddle have we here?
Lady C. Out, thou ungracious, dissembling villain.
Fruit. An indifferent means
Will keep your ladyship; for you are past
Those vanities which younger ladies use:
You need no gaudy clothes, no change of fashions,
No paintings nor perfumes.
Will keep your ladyship; for you are past
Those vanities which younger ladies use:
You need no gaudy clothes, no change of fashions,
No paintings nor perfumes.
Euph. I would fain know the bottom of this.
Lady W. Servant, can you discover
What this should mean?
What this should mean?
Dot. No, mistress, I protest:
With all the wit I have.
With all the wit I have.
Fruit. And for your house,
You shall have leave to stay here, till we have
Provided for you.
You shall have leave to stay here, till we have
Provided for you.
Lady C. O, my heart will break!
Euph. Here is the finest turn that e'er I saw.
Sir Arg. I will resolve you, gentlemen. This lady,
To cosen me in marriage, had (it seems)
Pass'd her estate away: into what hands
'Tis fallen, I know not, nor I care not, I.
To cosen me in marriage, had (it seems)
Pass'd her estate away: into what hands
'Tis fallen, I know not, nor I care not, I.
Fruit. 'Tis fallen into the hands of wise men, sir,
That know how to make use of what is theirs.
That know how to make use of what is theirs.
Lady C. This hypocrite persuaded me to do't,
And then discover'd all, as if on purposes
He sought my ruin.
And then discover'd all, as if on purposes
He sought my ruin.
Fruit. No, not I, good madam:
'Twas for your soul's health; I have done you good,
And eas'd you of a burden, and a great one.
So much estate would have been still a cause
Of cares unto you, and those cares have hinder'd
Your quiet passage to a better life.
'Twas for your soul's health; I have done you good,
And eas'd you of a burden, and a great one.
So much estate would have been still a cause
Of cares unto you, and those cares have hinder'd
Your quiet passage to a better life.
Fruit. And why should you, at such an age as this,
Dream of a marriage? A thing so far
Unfit, nay most unnatural and profane,
To stain that holy ordinance, and make it
But a mere bargain! For two clods of earth
Might have been join'd as well in matrimony.
Tis for your soul's health, madam, I do this.
Dream of a marriage? A thing so far
Unfit, nay most unnatural and profane,
To stain that holy ordinance, and make it
But a mere bargain! For two clods of earth
Might have been join'd as well in matrimony.
Tis for your soul's health, madam, I do this.
Euph. How much was I mistaken in this chaplain!
I see he has brains.
I see he has brains.
Free. Though't be dishonesty
In him, yet justly was it plac'd on her:
And I could even applaud it.
In him, yet justly was it plac'd on her:
And I could even applaud it.
Lady W. I protest I love this chaplain.
Dot. So do I, sweet mistress, or I am an errant fool.
Lady C. But yet I hope
The feoffees may prove honest: I'll try them.
The feoffees may prove honest: I'll try them.
Fruit. I'll go and bring them to your ladyship. [Exit Fruitful.
Sir Arg. I'll stay no longer. Make my litter ready.
Lady, farewell; and to you all.
Lady, farewell; and to you all.
Free. Nay, sir.
Then let me interpose; let me entreat you,
By all the rites of neighbourhood, Sir Argent,
Make not so sudden a departure now.
What, though the business has gone so cross,
You may part fairly yet. Stay till to-morrow;
Let not the country take too great a notice
Of these proceedings and strange breach: 'twill be
Nothing but a dishonour to you both.
Pray, sir, consent: give me your hand, Sir Argent.
Then let me interpose; let me entreat you,
By all the rites of neighbourhood, Sir Argent,
Make not so sudden a departure now.
What, though the business has gone so cross,
You may part fairly yet. Stay till to-morrow;
Let not the country take too great a notice
Of these proceedings and strange breach: 'twill be
Nothing but a dishonour to you both.
Pray, sir, consent: give me your hand, Sir Argent.
Sir Arg. At your entreaty, sir, I'll stay till morning.
Free. Before that time, you may consider better. [Exeunt.
FOOTNOTES:
[18] [A MS. note in one of the former edits. says: "This sudden and total change, unnatural as it is, is one of the characteristics of the old plays."]
ACT V.
Matilda, Theodore.
Mat. I'll not refuse my uncle's courtesy,
But go and see his house. I should before
Have done that duty to him, but I thought
My visits were not welcome, since he liv'd
So close and privately.
But go and see his house. I should before
Have done that duty to him, but I thought
My visits were not welcome, since he liv'd
So close and privately.
Theo. Sweet cousin, you'll find
A happy alteration in my father,
And that there dwells a kind and honest soul
Within his breast. Though wretched avarice,
The usual fault of age, has heretofore
Too much kept back the good expressions
Of such-like thoughts, he now will make amends
To all the world; and has begun already
With his poor neighbours.
A happy alteration in my father,
And that there dwells a kind and honest soul
Within his breast. Though wretched avarice,
The usual fault of age, has heretofore
Too much kept back the good expressions
Of such-like thoughts, he now will make amends
To all the world; and has begun already
With his poor neighbours.
Mat. Cousin, I shall be
Too bad a guest at this sad time, and bring
Nothing but sorrow to my uncle's house.
Too bad a guest at this sad time, and bring
Nothing but sorrow to my uncle's house.
Theo. You'll be yourself a welcome guest to him;
And I shall think our roof exceeding happy,
If it may mitigate that killing grief,
Which your so solitary life too much
Has nourish'd in you. Cousin, feed it not:
'Tis a disease that will in time consume you.
I have already given the best advice,
That my poor knowledge will afford, to ease
Your troubled thoughts. If time, which Heaven allows
To cure all griefs, should not have power to do it:
If death of father, mother, husband, wife,
Should be lamented still, the world would wear
Nothing but black: sorrow alone would reign
In every family that lives, and bring
Upon poor mortals a perpetual night.
You must forget it, cousin.
And I shall think our roof exceeding happy,
If it may mitigate that killing grief,
Which your so solitary life too much
Has nourish'd in you. Cousin, feed it not:
'Tis a disease that will in time consume you.
I have already given the best advice,
That my poor knowledge will afford, to ease
Your troubled thoughts. If time, which Heaven allows
To cure all griefs, should not have power to do it:
If death of father, mother, husband, wife,
Should be lamented still, the world would wear
Nothing but black: sorrow alone would reign
In every family that lives, and bring
Upon poor mortals a perpetual night.
You must forget it, cousin.
Mat. Never can I
Forget my love to him.
Forget my love to him.
Theo. Nor do I strive
To teach you to forget that love you bear
To his dear memory; but that grief which lies
Wrapp'd in amongst it, and turns all to poison,
Making it mortal to that soul that tastes it—
'Tis that, sweet cousin, which I hope that time
May by degrees extinguish. Will you please
To walk along? My father long ere this
Expects us, I am sure, and longs to see you. [Exeunt.
To teach you to forget that love you bear
To his dear memory; but that grief which lies
Wrapp'd in amongst it, and turns all to poison,
Making it mortal to that soul that tastes it—
'Tis that, sweet cousin, which I hope that time
May by degrees extinguish. Will you please
To walk along? My father long ere this
Expects us, I am sure, and longs to see you. [Exeunt.
Eugeny in the Officers' hands.
Eug. I blame you not at all, that by the law
And virtue of your places are requir'd
To apprehend me.
And virtue of your places are requir'd
To apprehend me.
Officer. We are sorry, sir, we were enforc'd to seize you.
Eug. But I wonder
What curious eye it was that search'd so far
Into my secret walks, that did discover
This dark abode of mine, and envied me
My solitary sorrow: such a life,
As I enjoy'd, a man might well afford
To his most great and mortal enemy.
What curious eye it was that search'd so far
Into my secret walks, that did discover
This dark abode of mine, and envied me
My solitary sorrow: such a life,
As I enjoy'd, a man might well afford
To his most great and mortal enemy.
Officer. 'Twas a plain fellow, sir, that brought us hither
In the king's name, and left us when we had you.
But, sir, we wish you all the good we may.
In the king's name, and left us when we had you.
But, sir, we wish you all the good we may.
Eug. I thank you, friends: I cannot tell at all
Whom to suspect; nor will I further vex
My thoughts in search of such a needless thing.
I call to mind what once my Theodore
Told me by way of a surmise; but, sure,
It cannot be so foul. Shall I entreat you
To carry me to old Sir Argent Scrape,
My kinsman? I would only speak with him,
Before I go to prison: and let one,
If you can spare a man, go run for me
To Master Earthworm's house, and bid his son
Meet me with old Sir Argent; he lies now
At my Lady Covet's house. I have about me
What will reward your pains, and highly too.
Whom to suspect; nor will I further vex
My thoughts in search of such a needless thing.
I call to mind what once my Theodore
Told me by way of a surmise; but, sure,
It cannot be so foul. Shall I entreat you
To carry me to old Sir Argent Scrape,
My kinsman? I would only speak with him,
Before I go to prison: and let one,
If you can spare a man, go run for me
To Master Earthworm's house, and bid his son
Meet me with old Sir Argent; he lies now
At my Lady Covet's house. I have about me
What will reward your pains, and highly too.
Officer. It shall be done, as you would have it, sir.
Eug. I dare not send to fair Artemia:
The sight of her and of so dear a sorrow
As she would show, would but afflict me more.
Perchance I may come safely off; till then
I would conceal this accident from her.
But fame is swiftest still, when she goes laden
With news of mischief: she too soon will hear,
And in her sorrow I shall doubly suffer.
Thus are we fortune's pastimes: one day live
Advanc'd to heaven by the people's breath,
The next, hurl'd down into th' abyss of death.
The sight of her and of so dear a sorrow
As she would show, would but afflict me more.
Perchance I may come safely off; till then
I would conceal this accident from her.
But fame is swiftest still, when she goes laden
With news of mischief: she too soon will hear,
And in her sorrow I shall doubly suffer.
Thus are we fortune's pastimes: one day live
Advanc'd to heaven by the people's breath,
The next, hurl'd down into th' abyss of death.
Enter Euphues, Artemia.
Euph. But are you sure 'tis hereabouts he lives?
Ha! who is that? 'Tis he, and in the hands
Of officers! Cousin, the mischief's done
Before we come.
Ha! who is that? 'Tis he, and in the hands
Of officers! Cousin, the mischief's done
Before we come.
Art. O my dear Eugeny!
Eug. Artemia too! Ah me! she swoons! Help, help!
Look up, my love! There is no fear at all
For me; no danger: all is safe, and full
Of hope and comfort.
Look up, my love! There is no fear at all
For me; no danger: all is safe, and full
Of hope and comfort.
Euph. She begins to come
Unto herself again.
Unto herself again.
Euph. I never knew the place; but now, by her
Instructions, found it out. I came to bear
Her company, and her intent of coming
Was to inform you of a danger near—
Of such a monstrous mischief, as perchance
You scarce can credit. Old Sir Argent Scrape,
By me and by another gentleman,
Was overheard to say that he had scouts,
And had laid certain plots to apprehend
His kinsman Eugeny, just before th' assizes.
Besides, what further means he did intend,
Closely to work your death, he then declar'd
To the old covetous lady, whom he came
A suitor to.
Instructions, found it out. I came to bear
Her company, and her intent of coming
Was to inform you of a danger near—
Of such a monstrous mischief, as perchance
You scarce can credit. Old Sir Argent Scrape,
By me and by another gentleman,
Was overheard to say that he had scouts,
And had laid certain plots to apprehend
His kinsman Eugeny, just before th' assizes.
Besides, what further means he did intend,
Closely to work your death, he then declar'd
To the old covetous lady, whom he came
A suitor to.
Eug. Prophetic Theodore, how right thou wert!
Euph. This thing, when I had heard,
I told it her, and we with speed made hither;
But ere we came, the mischief was fulfill'd.
I told it her, and we with speed made hither;
But ere we came, the mischief was fulfill'd.
Eug. I thank you, sir, for this discovery:
Howe'er I speed, pray pardon me, if I
Shall by the hand of justice die your debtor.
How soon from virtue and an honour'd spirit
Man may receive what he can never merit!
Be not thou cruel, my Artemia;
Do not torment me with thy grief, and make
Me die before my time: let hope a while
Suspend thy sorrow; if the worst should fall,
Thy sorrow would but more enfeeble me,
And make me suffer faintly for thy sake.
Howe'er I speed, pray pardon me, if I
Shall by the hand of justice die your debtor.
How soon from virtue and an honour'd spirit
Man may receive what he can never merit!
Be not thou cruel, my Artemia;
Do not torment me with thy grief, and make
Me die before my time: let hope a while
Suspend thy sorrow; if the worst should fall,
Thy sorrow would but more enfeeble me,
And make me suffer faintly for thy sake.
Art. If worst should fall, my love (which heaven forfend),
How could I choose but suffer?
How could I choose but suffer?
Euph. I will hope
Your safety yet may well be wrought; and knowing
Sir Argent's mind, you know what ways to trust.
Your safety yet may well be wrought; and knowing
Sir Argent's mind, you know what ways to trust.
Euph. Fear it not, cousin:
If I may aid you, sir, in anything,
You shall command it.
If I may aid you, sir, in anything,
You shall command it.
Eug. Sir, I cannot thank you
So much as it deserves: this timely favour,
If not in life, yet shall at least in death
Endear me to you.
So much as it deserves: this timely favour,
If not in life, yet shall at least in death
Endear me to you.
Art. Do not name that word,
My dearest love!
My dearest love!
Euph. You must be speedy, sir,
In all your courses now.
In all your courses now.
Eug. Then let me beg
That you would meet me at my Lady Covet's.
I'll ring Sir Argent Scrape so loud a peal,
As shall, perchance, awake his bed-rid soul,
And rouse it, though so deeply sunk in dross—
Drown'd and o'erwhelm'd with muck. Go you together,
And leave me to my way.
That you would meet me at my Lady Covet's.
I'll ring Sir Argent Scrape so loud a peal,
As shall, perchance, awake his bed-rid soul,
And rouse it, though so deeply sunk in dross—
Drown'd and o'erwhelm'd with muck. Go you together,
And leave me to my way.
Art. Farewell, dear love! [Exeunt severally.
Enter Barnet, Lady Whimsey.
Bar. Madam, 'tis sure; I know your ladyship
Is so possess'd.
Is so possess'd.
Lady W. I think he loves me well,
And will not now start back from marrying me.
And will not now start back from marrying me.
Bar. That is the happy hour he only longs for;
But if so strange a thing should come to pass,
Which yet I think impossible, that this
Your marriage should break off, I will give back
Into your hand this bond, which I receiv'd;
And 'tis worth nothing, madam, as you know
By the condition.
But if so strange a thing should come to pass,
Which yet I think impossible, that this
Your marriage should break off, I will give back
Into your hand this bond, which I receiv'd;
And 'tis worth nothing, madam, as you know
By the condition.
Bar. He waits the hour, when you will please to tie
The happy knot with him.
The happy knot with him.
Lady W. He shall no longer
Wait for it now: I'll go confirm him.
Wait for it now: I'll go confirm him.
Bar. But think not, gentle madam, that I shark[19]
Or cheat him in it: I have to a sum
Greater than this from him as good a title
As right can give, though my unhappy fortunes
Made me forbear the trial of my title,
While his old crafty father was alive.
He held from me a farm of greater value,
As all the neighbours know: I then forbore it,
And will do still, since by an easier way
I may have satisfaction. But here comes
One that has lost a marriage.
Or cheat him in it: I have to a sum
Greater than this from him as good a title
As right can give, though my unhappy fortunes
Made me forbear the trial of my title,
While his old crafty father was alive.
He held from me a farm of greater value,
As all the neighbours know: I then forbore it,
And will do still, since by an easier way
I may have satisfaction. But here comes
One that has lost a marriage.
Enter Trusty, Lady Covet.