When our teeth keep triple time;
Hungry notes are fit for knells.
May lankness be
No guest to me:
The bagpipe sounds when that it swells.
2. Bagshot.
When John-a-Nokes and John-a-Styles
Do grease the lawyer's satin.
Frights French away,
The benchers dare speak Latin.
3. Rhymewell.
Hunger deals in sullen prose:
Take notice and discard her.
The empty spit
Ne'er cherish'd wit;
Minerva loves the larder.
4. Christopher.
Is to conquer Bellarmine:
Distinctions then are budding.
Old Sutcliff's wit[201]
Did never hit,
But after his bag-pudding.
Yearn till I'm in charity with all.
[Exeunt.
SCENE VI.
Meanwell with a letter in his hand, Hearsay, Slicer.
Meanwell reads.
To serve you all the ways I can: Priscilla.
Very well penn'd of a young chambermaid.
I do conceive your meaning, sweet Priscilla.
You see I have the happy fortune on't;
A night for nothing, and entreated, too.
Make use of this; thou'lt have the like occasion.
Hark here.
I'm flesh and blood as well as you. Lieutenant,
Think on your suburb beauties. Sweet intelligencer,
I will by no means bar you of your lady:
Your sin, I assure you, will be honourable. [Exit Meanwell.
After this sealing forty weeks, deliver
Something unto thee as thy act and deed,
Say I can't prophesy.
A trick he thinks not of——
Did apply himself to the knight all dinner!
I am afraid he plays the cunning factor,
And in another's name wooes for himself.
'Tis almost ripe enough to crush. He hath not
Crept high enough as yet to be sensible
Of any fall.
This night, you know, he and his doxy meet;
Let me alone to give them their good-morrow.
If that we carry things but one week longer
Without discovery, farewell London then:
The world's our own. He ne'er deserves to thrive
That doth not venture for it: wealth's then sweet,
When bought with hazard. Fate this law hath set;
The fool inherits, but the wise must get.
FOOTNOTES:
[176] [See Halliwell's Dictionary, v. Haro—the same word, and Littrè's French Dictionary. A case occurred a few years ago, in which the ancient Clameur de Haro was raised at Jersey, in the Presbyterian Church there. But the word is here employed as a mere ejaculation or exclamation, and, it must be added, without much propriety.]
[177] Faint.—T.
[178] Burning.—T.
[179] See notes to "Midsummer Night's Dream," act ii. sc. 1, [and "Popular Antiquities of Great Britain," 1870, iii. 39 et seq.]
[180] Agreeable, pleasing.
[181] Disdainful.—T.
[182] [Tear.]
[183] See Stowe's "Survey of London," Strype's edition, 1720, vol. I. bk. ii. p. 18.
[184] Gate.
[185] The name of Chaucer's cock and hen.—Steevens.
[186] So that this play was written in 1634.—Pegge.
[187] These rings were sometimes made out of the handles of decayed coffins, and in more ancient times were consecrated at the ceremony of creeping [to] the cross, of which an account is given in a note on the "Merry Devil of Edmonton," with reference to the observations of Dr Percy on the "Northumberland Household Book," 1512.—Steevens.
Cramp-rings were formerly worn as charms for curing of the cramp. See Brookes's "Natural History," vol. i. p. 206.—Pegge.
Andrew Borde, in his "Book of the Introduction of Knowledge," 1542, says: "The kynges of Englande ... doth halowe every yere crampe rynges, the which rynges worne on ones fynger doth helpe them the whyche hath the crampe." Dr Percy, in his notes on the "Northumberland Household Book," speaking of these rings observes "that our ancient kings even in those dark times of superstition, do not seem to have affected to cure the king's evil; at least in the MSS. above quoted there is no mention or hint of any power of that sort. This miraculous gift was left to be claimed by the Stuarts: our ancient Plantagenets were humbly content to cure the cramp." I cite this passage merely to remark that the learned editor of the above curious volume has been betrayed into a mistake by the manner in which the cramp rings are mentioned in Mr Anstis's MSS. The power of curing the king's evil was certainly claimed by many of the Plantagenets. The above Dr Borde, who wrote in the time of Henry VIII., says, "The kynges of England, by the power that God hath given to them, doth make sicke men whole of a sickness called the Kynges Evyll." In Laneham's "Account of the Entertainment of Kennilworth Castle," it is said, "And also by her highness accustomed mercy and charitee, nyne cured of the paynful and dangerous diseaz called the King's Evil, for that kings and queens of this realm withoout oother medsin (save only by handling and prayer) only doo cure it." Polydore Virgil asserts the same, and William Tooker, in the reign of Queen Elizabeth, [1597,] published a book on this subject. For the knowledge of this last book I am obliged to Dr Douglas's excellent treatise, called "The Criterion," p. 191, &c.
[188] Alluding to the old way of biting the wax, usually red, in sealing deeds.—Pegge.
The form usually was this—
I bite the wax with my wang tooth."
See Cowell's "Interpreter," 1607.
[189] Better.—T.
[190] Do.—T.
[191] An allusion to the effects of water on cloth ill-woven.
[192] [A proverb, or bye-word.]
[193] i.e., Those who write the customary verses during the Lent season at Oxford.—Steevens.
[194] i.e., Scraps of anything; ἀναλέγω, colligo. Every one has heard of the collectanea and analecta poetarum.—Steevens.
[195] [The reading of the old copy is humble, which does not appear to agree at all with the context, since the parson addresses Andrew in a half-satirical strain of respect.]
[196] Robert Wisdom, a translator of the Psalms. Wood ("Athenæ Oxonienses," vol. i., "Fasti," p. 57) says he was "a good Latin and English poet of his time, and one that had been in exile in Queen Mary's reign. He was also rector of Settrington in Yorkshire, and died in 1568, having been nominated to a bishopric in Ireland in the time of Edward the 6th." His version of the Psalms is ridiculed in the "Remains of Samuel Butler," 1759, p. 41—
In a loud tone and public place,
Sings Wisdom's Hymns, that trot and pace
As if Goliah scann'd 'em."
Again, p. 230: "Besides, when Rouse stood forth for his trial, Robin Wisdom was found the better poet." [Further particulars of Wisdom are to be found in Warton's Poetry, by Hazlitt, iv. 131.]
[197] [Old copy, my.]
[198] [Of these books the two former are not at present known by such titles. The third, the "Life of Mistress Katherine Stubs," by her husband, the celebrated Philip Stubs, was originally published in 1591, and went through many editions.] The Author observes, in the opening of the tract: "At fifteen years of age, her father being dead, her mother bestowed her in marriage upon one Master Philip Stubbes, with whom she lived four years and almost a half, very honestly and godly."
Richard Brome, in his play of "The Antipodes," act iii. sc. 2, mentions one of them in the following manner—
Of Mistress Katherine Stubs, which I have turn'd
Into sweet meetre, for the vertuous youth,
To woe an ancient lady widow with."
Again, Bishop Corbet in his "Iter Boreale," says—
Kate Stubbs, Anne Ascue, or the Ladies Daughter."
[199] i.e., Been the mediator. The stickler now is called the sidesman. So in "Troilus and Cressida," act v. sc. 8—
—Steevens.
[200] "Moot is a term used in the Inns-of-Court, and signifies the handling or arguing a case for exercise."—Blount.
For the regulations of Mooting and Reading-Days, see Dugdale's "Origines Juridiciales."
[201] This was Dr Matthew Sutcliff, Dean of Exeter, in the reign of King James I.; a person who had been one of the opponents of Parsons the Jesuit, in defence of the Reformed Religion. In the year 1616 he procured an Act of Parliament for incorporating himself and other divines to be provost and fellows of a college then founded at Chelsea, for promoting the study of polemic divinity, and vindicating the doctrines of the Reformation against all Popish writers. To carry this design into execution, he settled on the college four farms in Devonshire, of the value of £300 per annum, and the benefit of an extent on a statute, acknowledged by Sir Lewis Stukely, for £4000. By the Act of Parliament, the college was empowered to bring a stream of water from the river Lee for the use of the city of London a scheme similar to that then lately executed by Sir Hugh Middleton. This foundation, although patronised both by King James and his sons, Prince Henry and Charles I., yet fell to decay. One range of building only, scarce an eighth of the intended edifice, was erected by Dr Sutcliff, at the expense of £3000. After lingering some time, suits were commenced about the title to the very ground on which the college stood, and by a decree of the Court of Chancery, in the time of Lord Coventry, three of the four farms were returned to Dr Sutcliff's heir. See "The Glory of Chelsey Colledge Revived," by John Darly, 4o, 1662. Sutcliff's wit seems almost to have been proverbial. Beaumont, in his letter to Ben Jonson, says—
Lie where he will, and make him write worse yet."
ACT IV., SCENE I.
Credulous, Hearsay, Slicer.
Nor holy Ananias:
I was baptiz'd in fashion,
Our vicar did hold bias.
Shall have the Turkish monarchy; he shall
Have it directly. The twelve companies
Shall be his kickshaws.
I would I were a pepper-corn,[202] if that
It sounds not well. Does't not?
Imperious Andrew Mahomet Credulous—
Tell me which name sounds best.
Then, Mistress Jane, Sir Thomas Bitefig's daughter,
That may be the She-Great-Turk, if she please me.
The empire's destin'd to our house directly.
Hang shop-books; give us some wine! Hey for a noise[203]
Of fiddlers now!
With my sum-totals; my debt-books shall sole[204]
Pies at young Andrew's wedding; cry you mercy,
I would say, gentlemen, the Great Turk's wedding.
My deeds shall be slic'd out in tailors' measures;
They all employed in making Mistress Mahomet
New gowns against the time. Hang dirty wealth!
Enter Caster.
The devil take all fortunes! Never man
Came off so: quite and clean defunct, by heaven!
Not a piece left.
Was, sure, against me.
And that, too, safe enough, to any one's thinking:
'T stood on eleven.
But did he stand upon eleven at once?
No dealing with 'em. Then they've lost the day?
What news from Brussels or the Hague? D' y' hear
Ought of the Turk's designs?
He's very furious when he's mov'd.
You must be venturing without your fancy-man.
Some great commander, sure.
I'll win't again: 'twas but the relics of
An idle hundred.
You did receive the hundred that I sent you
To th' race this morning by your man, my bailiff?
Enter Have-at-all.
There's Master Have-at-all is mad; he'll spit you
If he but know you are a usurer.
[Exit.
Do not come near me now, nor yet thou, Caster:
It works, 'fore Mars, it works; I'll take my walk,
And if I do find any one, by Jove——
[Exit Have-at-all.[205]
And works upon the world. Provide my fancy,
Good noble patron; I'll win soberly,
I itch till I have beggar'd all the city. [Exit Caster.
Enter Moth.
Where is thylk amebly franklin, cleped Meanwell?
This goeth not aright; I dread some covin. [Exit Moth.
A combat worthy chronicle. Let's go,
And see how this grave motion[206] will bestir him. [Exeunt.
SCENE II.
Have-at-all: after a while, Moth; Slicer and Hearsay watching.
I'll give him one rap more for making me
Stay here so long.
Enter Moth.
I do to know whe'r he be a gentleman,
Or yeoman, or servingman. I think
I'd best suppose him all, and beat him through
Every degree; and so I shall not wrong him.
What? Who goes there?
Speak quickly do. Villain, know'st thou not me?
Whider I shall call you my Lord Dan John,
Or Dan Thomas, or Dan Robert, or Dan Albon.
I vow to God thou hast a full fair chine.
Upon my faith, art some officer.
An ache in your bones?
No gentleman; Lieutenant Slicer says so.
This cudgel then serves turn.
You shall not say but I will show you favour:
Choose whether you will be hacked with my sword,
Or bruis'd by my battoon.
And poynant[211] morglay[212] out of shete. Lo, thus
Eftsoons, sir knight, I greet thee lowting low.
Music by knocking hammers upon anviles.
Let go thine blows; thylke art is no compleat.[214]
Dead is Edmond.
O brave lieutenant, now thy dinner works!
Upon thylke plain of Sarum done to death
By treachery the lords of merry Englond,
Nem esur Saxes.
In unbaptized language? Do not answer: [Moth entreats by signs.
If that thou dost, by Jove, I'll strangle thee.
Do you make mouths, you rascal, thus at me?
You're at dumb-service now. Why, this is more
Unsufferable than your old patch'd gibberish:
This silence is abuse. I'll send thee to
The place of it, where thou shalt meet with Oswald,
Vortigern, Harold, Hengist, Horsa, Knute,
Alured, Edgar, and Cunobeline. [Slicer, Hearsay step in.
Thus, thus I sheathe my sword.
Enough: it is thy foe doth vanquish'd lie
Now at thy mercy. Mercy not withstand;
For he is one the truest knight alive,
Though conquer'd now he lie on lowly ground.
Breathe and be thankful.
SCENE III.
Andrew, Priscilla.
If I do know what's next.
Obscured deity—'Tis gone again.
Lady, will you eat a piece of gingerbread?
One of my breeding.
Blaze out, sir reverence, if ye do not quench me.
I am affected towards you strangely.
Who'd have thought it?
Comes to my bed's head, and cries, Matrimony,
Matrimony, Andrew.
Some spirit that would join us.
Fairest of things, tralucent creature, rather,
Obscured deity, sweet Mistress Jane,
I come, I come.
I'm but her woman. Here she comes herself.
Enter Mistress Jane.
A cucumber, if I know what to do.
So lovingly?
Tralucent creature—'tis—ay, that it is,
One——
You keep your woman here so fine, that I
Had like t' have made a proper business on't,
Before I was aware. If anything
Do prove amiss, indeed, la, you shall be
The father on't. But know, tralucent creature,
I am come off entire, and now am yours,
Whole Andrew Credulous, your servant's servant.
Be wholly mine, and yet my servant's servant?
Downright's the best way here); if thou canst love,
I can love too. La, thee there, now! I'm rich.
The person that I aim at.
I'm proper, handsome, fair, clean-limb'd—I'm rich.
A guardian rather than a husband; for
I'm foolish yet.
So am I too, i' faith.
Will find me to be one of those things, which
His care must first reform.
I have a head for reformation:
This noddle here shall do it. I am rich.
To take me for formality only;
As some staid piece of household stuff, perhaps,
Fit to be seen 'mongst other ornaments:
Or, at the best, I shall be counted but
A name of dignity; not entertain'd
For love, but state; one of your train; a thing
Took to wipe off suspicion from some fairer,
To whom you have vow'd homage.
I've any plots or projects in my head.
I will do anything for thee, that thou
Canst name or think on.
By my virginity, I think he'll flinch.
As yours, I'm sure)—by my virginity,
If that we men have any such thing (as
We men have such a thing), I do believe
I will not flinch. Alas! you don't know Andrew.
Your other sovereign's service, as to keep
Your eye from gazing on her for awhile?
If I do cast a sheep's eye upon any
But your sweet self, may I lose one of mine!
Marry, I'll keep the other howsoe'er.
Swear you ne'er cast a glance on any, when
Your eye hath baited at each face you met.
Be blinded with this handkerchief; you shall
See that I love you now. So, let me have
But any reasonable thing to lead me home,
I do not care, though't be a dog, so that
He knows the way, or hath the wit t' inquire it.
I shall be in the Chronicle for this,
Or in a ballad else. This handkerchief
Shall be hung up i' th' parish church, instead
Of a great silken flag to fan my grave:
With my arms in't, portray'd in good blue thread,
With this word underneath—This, this was he
That shut his eyes because he would not see.
Hold, who comes there?
Enter Meanwell, Shape.