I.
THAT OF MR. JUSTICE DEAR.
"'Tis really very, very queer!"
Ejaculated Justice Dear,
"That, day by day, I'm sitting here
Without a single 'case.'
This is the twenty-second pair
Of white kid gloves, I do declare,
I've had this month. I can not wear
White kids at such a pace."
"Crimes ne'er have been so few before;
Not long ago, I heard a score
Of charges every day;
And now—dear me! how can it be?—
And, pondering thus, went home to tea.
(He lives Bayswater way.)
A frugal mind has Justice Dear
(Indeed, I've heard folks call him "near"),
And, caring naught for jibe or jeer,
He rides home on a bus.
It singularly came to pass,
This day, he chanced to ride, alas!
Beside two of the burglar class;
And one addressed him thus:
"We knows yer, Mr. Justice Dear,
You've often giv' us 'time'—d'ye hear?—
And now your pitch we're going to queer,
We criminals has struck!
We're on the 'honest livin' tack,
An' not another crib we'll crack,
So Justices will get the sack!
How's that, my legal buck?"