The Project Gutenberg eBook of An Almanac of Twelve Sports
Title: An Almanac of Twelve Sports
Illustrator: William Nicholson
Author: Rudyard Kipling
Release date: October 22, 2010 [eBook #34113]
Most recently updated: January 7, 2021
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Chris Curnow, Joseph Cooper, Louise Pattison
and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
https://www.pgdp.net
An Almanac
of twelve Sports
By William Nicholson
Words by
Rudyard Kipling
Published by R. H. Russell. New York.
1898.
1898.
January.
| Sunday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 | |
| Monday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 | |
| Tuesday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — | |
| Wednesday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — | |
| Thursday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | — | |
| Friday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | — | |
| Saturday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 | — |
February.
| Sunday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Monday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Tuesday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | — |
| Wednesday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | — |
| Thursday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | — |
| Friday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — |
| Saturday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — |
March.
| Sunday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Monday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Tuesday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Wednesday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Thursday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 |
| Friday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — |
| Saturday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — |
April.
| Sunday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | |
| Monday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | |
| Tuesday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | |
| Wednesday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Thursday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Friday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Saturday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
May.
| Sunday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Monday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Tuesday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 |
| Wednesday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — |
| Thursday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — |
| Friday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | — |
| Saturday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | — |
June.
| Sunday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | |
| Monday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Tuesday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Wednesday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Thursday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Friday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | — |
| Saturday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — |
Here is a gun to handle—
God knows you can enter the game
If you'll only pay for the same,
And the price of the game is a candle—
One single flickering candle!
1898.
July.
| Sunday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 | |
| Monday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — | |
| Tuesday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — | |
| Wednesday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | — | |
| Thursday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | — | |
| Friday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 | — |
| Saturday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 | — |
August.
| Sunday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Monday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Tuesday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Wednesday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 |
| Thursday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — |
| Friday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — |
| Saturday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | — |
September.
| Sunday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | |
| Monday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | |
| Tuesday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Wednesday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Thursday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Friday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Saturday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 23 | — |
October.
| Sunday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 | |
| Monday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 | |
| Tuesday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — | |
| Wednesday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — | |
| Thursday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | — | |
| Friday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | — | |
| Saturday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 | — |
November.
| Sunday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Monday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Tuesday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Wednesday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Thursday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | — |
| Friday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | — |
| Saturday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | — |
December.
| Sunday | 4 | 11 | 18 | 25 | |
| Monday | 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 | |
| Tuesday | 6 | 13 | 20 | 27 | |
| Wednesday | 7 | 14 | 21 | 28 | |
| Thursday | 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 |
| Friday | 2 | 9 | 16 | 23 | 30 |
| Saturday | 3 | 10 | 17 | 24 | 31 |
Hunting.
And men have quitted selle and swum for't,
But I am of a meeker sort
And I prefer Surtees in comfort.
My run, where never danger lurks, is
With Jorrocks and his deathless train
Pigg, Binjimin and Arterxerxes!
Coursing.
Each man seeks it a different way
But "of all daft devils under the sun
A grey'ound's the daftest" said Jorrocks J.
Racing.
The backers back—the owners own
But ... there are lots of things besides,
And I should leave this play alone.
Boating.
From pleasant meat and pleasant sin
These who, in honour's hope, endure
Lean days and lives enforced pure.
These who, replying not, submit
Unto the curses of the Pit
Which he that rides (O greater shame!)
Flings forth by number not by name...
Could Triple Crown or Jesuit's oath
Do what yon shuffle-stocking doth?
Fishing.
C took her bait; her heart was set on D.
Thank Heaven, who cooled your blood and cramped your wishes,
Men and not Gods torment you, little fishes.
Cricket.
And taught me how to play,
I do not worship crocodiles
Or bow the knee to clay!
With hide and cork and twine,
From century to century
Will gambol round my Shrine.
Archery.
The maid whom his Sire in the sixties ran after,
While careering himself in pursuit of a girl whom
The Twenties will dub a "last century heir-loom."
Coaching.
A maid may work a man's salvation.
Four horses and a girl are not,
However, aids to reformation.
Shooting.
So greet we Christmas Day.
Oh Christian load your gun and then,
O Christian, out and slay!
Golf.
we have not far to seek—
So much depends upon the lie,
so much upon the cleek.
Boxing.
For him that into battle goes—
Each soul that, hitting hard and hit,
Encounters gross or ghostly foes:—
Prince, blown by many overthrows
Half blind with shame, half choked with dirt
Man cannot tell but Allah knows
How much the other side was hurt!
Skating.
Perfect and poised and fair—
Stars in my true-love's eyes
Teach me to do and to dare!
Woe for the stars that misled!
Stars that I saw in her eyes
Now do I see in my head!
What are you out of pocket?
'Sorry to spoil your play,
But Somebody says we must pay—
And the candle's down to the socket—
Its horrible tallowy socket!