Ancient, Curious, and Famous Wills

It is quite evident he appreciated their value.

The testator next prohibits that his house or the church in which he is to be buried should be hung with black, desiring, on the contrary, that it shall be strewn with flowers and green branches on the day of his funeral. While his body should be borne to the church, he ordered that music should take the place of tolling bells. All the musicians (or minstrels) of the town were to be invited to his burial, however, the number was to be limited to fifty, and were to walk with the clergy, so many to precede, and so many to follow the body, and they were to make the air ring with the sound of lutes, violins, flutes, hautboys, trumpets, tambourines, and other musical instruments; the performance was to wind up with a hallelujah as for an Easter rejoicing, and for their services each was to receive the pay of half-a-crown. The body, enclosed in a bier covered with a cloth of divers colors which were to be bright and striking, was to be carried by twelve young girls habited in green, who were to sing cheerful and lively songs. To each of them the testator bequeathed a certain sum as her dowry. Young boys and girls were to accompany the procession carrying branches or palms, and were to wear on their heads crowns of flowers, while their voices were to join in chorus with those of the bearers. All the clergy belonging to the church, attended by a hundred torch-bearers, were to precede the procession, with all the monks in the town, except those whose habit was black—the express desire of the testator being either that they should wear a light-colored costume or refrain from attending, in order not to sadden the spectacle by an appearance of mourning. The executor appointed by this singular testator was solemnly charged to carry out all these directions in their fullest detail, or was to have no participation in the beneficial clauses of the will. Ludovico Cortusio died on July 17, 1418, Festival of St. Alexis. Strange to say, his wishes were conscientiously complied with. He was buried in the church of Sta. Sophia, at Padua, the ceremony having the appearance rather of a wedding than of a funeral.

Will of a Conjurer

An individual exercising the calling of a conjurer at Rochdale, named Clegg, made a humorous will, in which he desired that, if he should escape hanging, and should die a natural death within two miles of Shaw Chapel, his executors, of whom he named two, should assemble threescore of the truest of his friends—not to include any woman, nor yet man whose avocations compel him to wear a white cap or an apron, nor any man in the habit of taking snuff or using tobacco. Four fiddles were to attend, and the company were to make merry and to dance. For the refreshment of the guests were to be provided sixty-two spiced buns and twenty shillings’ worth of the best ale.

The body, dressed in his “roast-meat” (or Sunday) clothes, was to be laid on a bier in the midst. As each guest arrived, sprigs of gorse, holly, and rosemary were to be distributed, and each was to receive a cake; then all were to make merry for a couple of hours.

The musicians were then to play, in lively time, the tune of “Britons, strike home,” while glasses of gin were being handed round to the company; after this the fiddlers, repeating the said tune, were to head the cortége, the guests to follow two-and-two, the whole being closed by the curate riding upon an ass, for which service he was to receive a fee of one guinea. No one was on any account to indulge in tears; and, as soon as the coffin had been covered over, they were to repair to the public-house at which the departed had been best known, and there to eat and drink as they pleased to the amount of thirty shillings, to be defrayed by the “estate.”

No Tombstone Honors

The late Jesse H. Griffen of Yorktown, New York, who was a prominent citizen of that part of the State, drew his will on a bill-head. Among other provisions were these: “I desire that my corpse be put in a plain walnut coffin and carried in an ordinary spring wagon, and that no tombstone be erected where my mortal remains are deposited. I notice that people in moderate circumstances are often distressed by expensive displays at funerals, and tombstone honors are a truer indication of the vanity of survivors than of the virtues of the dead.”

Will of Philippe Bouton

Philippe Bouton, bailli of Dijon, dying in 1515, desired by his will that fourteen girls should be found, who, being clothed in green cloth,—that hue being sacred to hope,—should attend at his obsequies, and at all the services consequent thereon. He was buried in the church of Corberon.

Will of Charles Bouton (of Poitou)

“I, Charles Bouton, Seigneur of Fay, desire by this my will and testament, that after my death the sacristans of Louhaus shall throw over my coffin a white winding-sheet, that they shall recite the psalter before carrying it into the church; that they shall have my body carried into the Church of St. Peter of Louhaus, where it shall repose one night; that on the following morning it shall be placed on a waggon, such as those used for carting manure, and borne to my chapel of Fay and deposited within its charnel-house, there to be left without any other light than that of four small tapers, each weighing half-a-pound.”

This testator does not appear to have been in any way related to the Philippe Bouton cited above: he died in 1532.

Will of an English Farmer

A Hertfordshire farmer inserted in his will his written wish that “as he was about to take a thirty years’ nap, his coffin might be suspended from a beam in his barn, and by no means nailed down.” He, however, permitted it to be locked, provided a hole were made in the side through which the key might be pushed, so that he might let himself out when he awoke. However, as his death took place in 1720, and in 1750 he showed no signs of waking, his nephew, who inherited his property, after allowing him one year’s grace, caused a hole to be dug and had the coffin put into it.

Will of M. Helloin, Juge de Paix

This gentleman, well known as a magistrate, and residing on his own landed property, close to Caen, in Normandy, France, died in the month of June, 1828. He was of eccentric habits, and of the calmest and most placid disposition. Nothing was ever known to ruffle his equanimity or to disturb the repose and tranquillity of his domestic arrangements. He lived and died unmarried, and passed his life either reclining on a couch or lying in bed. Even when exercising his judicial functions he maintained this recumbent attitude; his bedroom became his audience-chamber, and he gave judgment in a horizontal position, his body lazily stretched out, and his head thrown back on a down pillow. This luxurious life, however, did not suffice to protect him from the inevitable lot of mortals; and M. Helloin, in due time, felt that his end was not far off. Under these circumstances he made his will, apparently with the intention of proving his fidelity to his traditions, for he decreed thereby that “he should be buried at night, in his bed, and in the position in which death should surprise him—viz., with his mattress, sheets, blankets, pillows—and, in short, all that constituted the belongings of a bedstead.” As there was some difficulty in carrying out such a clause, an enormous pit was dug, and the deceased was lowered into his last resting-place exactly as he had died, nothing around or about him having been altered. Boards were placed above the bedstead, in order that the earth, when filled in again, should not trouble the repose of this imperturbable Quietist.

His Ashes improved the Fishing

A German gentleman, who was a member of a New York fishing club, in his will requested his fellow-fishermen, after cremating his body, to throw his ashes into the sea on the shoals of New York Bay, where he had often fished. The will was carried out to the letter. Although it cannot be asserted that the ashes attracted the fish, the fishermen related that when they again threw out their lines where they had sprinkled the remains of their deceased friend, they made an exceptionally large catch.

Buried in his Bed

The Reverend Langton Freeman, rector of Bilton, Northamptonshire, England, desired in his will that his body should be left undisturbed on the bed whereon he died till it could no longer be kept, that it was then to be carried, bed and all, decently and privately to the summer-house in his own private garden at Whilton. The bed with the body on it was then to be wrapped in a strong double winding-sheet, and to be treated in all respects as was the body of our Lord. The doors and windows of the summer-house were then to be secured, and the building planted round with evergreens and fenced with dark-blue palings. This eccentric will was conscientiously obeyed. The fence and even the trees have now disappeared, and the summer-house is in ruins. Some years ago an entrance was effected through the roof, and the deceased was found completely mummified, without any wrappers, one arm lying down by the side, the other across the chest.

Will of a New York Spinster

A spinster of New York desired that all the money she should die possessed of, might be employed in building a church in her native city, but stipulated that her remains should be mixed up in the mortar used for fixing the first stone.

Will of a Rich Jewess

A rich Jewess residing in London died in 1794. Having all her days regretted not to have passed her life in the ancient and celebrated city illustrated by the presence and the great deeds of David, Solomon, the prophets, the Maccabees, and others, she resolved that at all events her mortal remains should await there the day of their resurrection. She accordingly ordered by her will that her body should be carried from England to Jerusalem, to be buried there. Two of her coreligionists established in London were chosen by her to accompany her body and fulfil her last wishes; these gentlemen were gratified each with a legacy of four hundred pounds to pay their expenses.

Robert Fabyan

There are some extremely curious and valuable clauses in this will which would be too long to transcribe, and probably tedious to the majority of readers. It is dated 1511. Those who wish to read it in its entirety are referred to vol. ii., “Testamenta Vetusta,” page 498.

We will confine ourselves to a portion of his instructions for his “little tumbe of freestone, upon the which I will be spent liij s. iv d. att the moast; and in the face of this tumbe I will be made too plates of laten, ii figurys of a man and a woman, with x men children and vi women children; and over and above the said figurys I will be made a figure of the Fader of Heven, inclosed in a sonne; and from the man figure I will be made a rolle toward the said figure of the Fader, and in hit to be graven, ‘O Pater in cœlis;’ and from the figure of the woman another lyke rolle, whereyn to be graven, ‘Hos tecum pascere velis;’ and at the feet of the said figurys I will be graven thes ix verses folowing:

“And before upon the said tumbys border I will be written these words following:

“‘Tumulus Roberti Fabyan dudum pannarius ac Aldermannus London qui obiit.... Fevr....’”

The above directions were to be followed in the event of the testator’s dying and being buried “within the Citye of London,” but if buried in the church of Heydon Earnon, the grave is to be much more elaborately decorated, according to instructions further given to his executors, who can have had no sinecure, for this same alderman-draper seems to have been possessed of considerable landed and other property.

We find it throughout all these earlier wills the custom to bequeath not only beds with all their furniture, but wearing apparel, which in those days were so costly as to be considered valuable heirlooms; probably also the fashion of these articles did not undergo such rapid changes as in our own day.

An Exacting and Peculiar Will

After an eventful life as soldier, linguist, “rain-maker,” Deputy Commissioner of Patents, man of affairs, and wealthy patent attorney, Robert G. Dryenforth, of Washington, D.C., died July 4, 1910. His will is one of the most unusual instruments ever offered for probate in the United States: his estate is a large one and is left to an eight-year-old foster son, Robert St. George Dryenforth, subject to conditions of a remarkable character:

The lad is to get practically the entire estate—provided he conscientiously complies with all conditions—when he reaches the age of twenty-eight. Robert St. George will be busily occupied for the intervening twenty years in complying with conditions.

Here are some of them.

He must not associate with one Jennie Dryenforth or her daughter, Rose Marie Knowlton. Should he do so, the estate goes to William H., Harold and Robert Dryenforth, who are named as executors.

The above-named executors will also share the estate in the event Robert St. George thoughtlessly dies before he reaches the given age.

The boy must be trained right from the start to shy at the wiles of women. If he must marry, he must not marry beneath him.

The will says:

“I particularly request my executors to thoughtfully and well guard my beloved son from women, and sensibly, that is, gradually, through no erratic extreme, to let him be informed and know the artful and parasitical nature of most of the unfortunate sex, and to care that he does not marry beneath him.”

The lad must keep his face between the covers of a book for a great portion of these twenty years. He will become a confirmed burner of the midnight oil. Here is the programme, duly mapped out in the will:

He must be prepared to enter high school at the age of fourteen.

At the age of eighteen he must be ready to enter Harvard, there to take a special course fitting him for Oxford University.

In the meantime, the boy must be taken to see one country in Europe each year.

As soon as he graduates from Oxford, the boy is to hasten back to these shores and to enter immediately the United States Military Academy, complete the course and serve the required time in the army.

After he has well and patiently performed these preliminary tasks, the young man is then required to take up the practice of law, at which profession he may while his time away until he reaches the twenty-eighth milestone. Upon that happy and long-delayed day, the executors will take an inventory, and if the stewardship of Robert St. George has been good, he will receive talents an hundred fold.

Scattered about through the will are minor restrictions, having to do with the boy’s religion and habits. The lad must be reared a Protestant Episcopalian. He will have no difficulty whatever in picking his faith, his father having attended to this detail before he departed this life.

In no event is the boy to be permitted to become a Catholic, and the executors are further charged with the duty of seeing that the late Lawyer Dryenforth’s remains are not interred in a Catholic cemetery nor in Arlington.

A graduating scale of allowances for the boy’s maintenance also has been carefully worked out in the will. Until he is twelve years of age Robert St. George must not overdraw an account of $50 monthly. After that age, $1000 yearly is set aside for his support and education. Later, the amount is to be increased to $1500 per year, which will help some in event Robert St. George is not immediately retained by some of the big corporations as soon as he hangs out his shingle as a lawyer.

Dame Maud De Say

Dame Maud, daughter of Guy, Earl of Warwick, widow of Geoffrey, Lord Say, Admiral of the King’s Fleet, died Tuesday next after the Feast of the Apostles Simon and Jude, 1369. Her will recites:

“My body to be buried in the Church of the Friars Preachers of London, near Edmond, my loving husband; to the Friars there X pounds, and I desire that no feast be made on my funeral day, but that immediately after my decease my corpse shall be carried to burial, covered only with a linen cloth, having a red cross thereon, with two tapers, one at the head and another at the feet.”

A Mother’s Pathetic Affection

A lady, who was a singularly affectionate mother, lost two of her children, one aged three, the other five; their remains were carried with the usual ceremonies to the family vault, but she found it impossible to part with them, and having obtained the permission of the clergyman to have them exhumed, she had the two little coffins carried back to the house, and glass lids made to them. They were kept in a room set apart for the purpose, and remained there until her death—a period of a quarter of a century. On that event they were again buried by one of her sons, a clergyman, who, having been born long after their death, used to remark: “There was not probably another clergyman who could say he had buried two people who died before he was born.”

Will of Mr. Greftulke

An individual named Greftulke, who entertained a great dread of being buried alive, added to his will this clause: “I do not wish to be buried; but desire that my body be embalmed, and placed in a coffin, the lid of which shall be glazed; also I desire it be not nailed down, so that my body may not be deprived of air and light. Ultimately it may be buried, if the law permit.”

This will was proved October, 1867, and signed John Louis Greftulke.

Will of Thomas Hollis

This testator, Thomas Hollis of Cusicombe, Dorsetshire, England, ordered his corpse to be buried in one of his cornfields, ten feet below the surface, and the ground to be immediately ploughed, so that no trace of the spot might remain.

Will of Mrs. Maria Redding

This lady’s behests are sufficiently singular to be recorded here: “If,” she writes, “I should die away from Branksome, I desire that my remains, after being duly placed in the usual coffins (i.e. first a leaden and then an elm one), be enclosed in a plain deal box, and conveyed by goods train to Poole. Let no mention be made of the contents, as the conveyance will then not be charged more for than an ordinary package. From Poole station let it be brought in a cart to Branksome tower, and it will be found the easiest way to get the coffin out of the house will be to take out one of the diningroom windows.” This will was probated in 1870.

The Will of the Dowager Countess of Sandwich

This will provides against those useless inventions, which only serve to aggravate the grief of the survivors, and to swell the extortionate charges of the upholsterers of death. She therefore forbids “all grotesque paraphernalia, desiring only to be buried quietly and decently, with no scarfs, hatbands, or other excuses for fraud and cheating.”

Horror of Darkness

A Vienna millionnaire seemed to have a horror of darkness, for he provided that not only the vault in which his body was to be placed should be lighted by electricity, but the coffin should be similarly illumined.

Will of La Duchesse D’Olonne

This lady, whose life was full of eccentricities, seems to have been determined to signalize her departure from the world by the singularity of her testamentary dispositions.

She desired in her will, probated in 1776, that her body should be carried into the principality of Lux, situated in Basse Navarre, and about two hundred and fifty miles from Paris. So far there was nothing very extraordinary; but she also desired to be followed by a very long procession, which was to consist of six mourning-coaches draped with black, for the family and the ecclesiastics, and of two hundred persons bearing torches, who were to receive a crown a day. The cortège was to walk at a solemn pace, and not to make more than five leagues per day, and at every five leagues, or as near that distance as it was possible to find a convenient resting-place, a funeral service was to be celebrated before the procession started again, and every church where such service should be held was to be hung with black.

What the cost of all this ceremony amounted to may be computed by the cost of the carriages alone, the hire of which amounted to eighteen thousand francs.

By another article in her will, the duchess devises liberal donations and annuities to her servants, proportioned to their services, but at the same time she sends them into exile; for she assigns to each a fixed residence at a certain distance from Paris, so that they shall be all separated from each other, and she specifies that they can only receive such annuities in the locality appointed them, and on condition that they shall make that their residence, because, as she alleges, she does not wish them to congregate together, and talk about her affairs and her character.

She left fifteen thousand francs to the poet Robbé, whom she lodged and supported in Paris, though it is difficult to discover on what grounds she patronized a man of such mediocre merit.

Lady Nicotine

A young lady of Kentucky exhibited a depth of sentiment rarely equalled, when she directed in her will that tobacco should be planted over her grave, that the weed, nourished by her dust, might be smoked by her bereaved lovers.

Forget John Underwood

On the 6th of May, 1735, was buried at Wittesca, Mr. John Underwood, of Lexington. The body was lowered into the grave at five o’clock, and as soon as the prayers were concluded a marble tablet was fixed at the extremity of the grave, bearing this inscription:

Non omnis moriar,
JOHN UNDERWOOD
May 6, 1735.

All the detail of the interment was in strict accordance with the testamentary prescriptions of the deceased, and proceeded as follows: As soon as the grave was filled up and covered with turf, the six friends who, by his desire, had attended on the occasion, sang the last stanza of the twentieth ode of the second book of Horace:

No bell was tolled; no relative was present; the bier was painted green, and the body was laid on it dressed in ordinary clothes; beneath the head was placed a copy of Horace, at his feet a Milton, on his right hand a small Greek Bible, with his name on the binding in gilt letters, on the left a smaller edition of Horace, with the inscription “Musis amicus, J.U.,” and under his shoulders Bentley’s Horace. When the ceremony was concluded, his friends returned to his house, where his sister awaited them, and all sat down to an elegant supper; after it was over, the company joined in singing the thirty-first ode of the first book of Horace:

Then they drank gayly for some time, but retired at eight o’clock. Mr. John Underwood bequeathed about fifty thousand dollars to his sister, on condition that she should carry out faithfully the conditions of his will. He left $50 to each of his friends, requesting them not to wear mourning; then came the singular directions, which were carried out as above, and the will concluded thus: “ ... This done, I request my friends to separate, after drinking cheerfully together, and to think no more of John Underwood.”

Without Pomp or Vainglory

Joan, Lady Bergavenny, whose will is dated 10th of January, 1434, wills “that my body be kept unburied in the place where it happeneth me to die, unto the time my ‘maygne’ (household) be clothed in black, my hearse, my chare, and other convenable purveyance made, and then to be carried unto the place of my burying before rehearsed, with all the worship that ought to be done unto a woman of mine estate, which God knoweth well proceedeth not of no pomp or vain glory, that I am set in for my body, but for a memorial and remembrance of my soul to my kin, friends, servants, and all other....”

Desired Beautiful Scenery

Lord Camelford, the famous duellist, wrote a codicil to his will, by which he desired that his body “should not be buried within city walls or the haunts of men, but should be removed to a far-distant spot, where the surrounding scenery might smile upon his remains.” The Lake of St. Lampierre, in Switzerland, was the spot selected. On the borders of this lake was a sloping bank marked by three trees. The testator designated the centre one as that under which he had passed many hours meditating on the mutability of human affairs, and he requested that this might be carefully removed, his body interred beneath it, and the tree replaced. These, his last wishes, were faithfully executed.

Will of Richard-sans-Peur

This brave Duke of Normandy had prepared his tomb, many years before his death, in the Abbey of Fécamp, and ordered that his burial should be conducted with the utmost simplicity. So great was his humility that he expressed his wishes as follows: “Je veulx estre enseveli devant l’huys de l’église, afin d’être coneulqué (trodden under foot) de tous les entrans dans l’église.” These, his last wishes, were executed; but some years after an Abbot of Fécamp, considering that “à si digne personnage plus décente sépulture appartenait,” had his body exhumed and buried in front of the altar.

Fifteen Maidens with Torches

François de la Palu Varembon, Seigneur de Beaumont sur Vingeanne, in Burgundy, made, in 1456, a will by which he testifies his objection to lugubrious colors at his interment; desiring that fifteen maidens of the very poorest of his vassals, clothed in white cloth at the expense of his estate, each wearing a scarlet hood and carrying a torch of three pounds’ weight, should walk in procession before the body, and that his heirs shall also wear white at his funeral and at every successive anniversary of his death. He further orders that four wax candles, of twenty-five pounds’ weight each, shall be placed at the corners of his coffin.

Body carried to a Café

One September afternoon, in 1874, an empty hearse was seen standing at about four o’clock at the entrance of the salons of the Café Riche, Rue Le Peletier. On inquiry it was found that a frequenter of this famous establishment had inserted in his will a clause to this effect:

“I desire that on the day of my burial I may be carried round by the Rue Le Peletier, to visit once more the table where I have spent so many of the pleasantest hours of my life.”

As we have seen, this singular wish was respected by the survivors of the testator.

Barber not wanted

The will, dated January 9th, 1873, of Mr. Richard Christopher Carrington, late of Churt, near Farnham, Surrey, England, astronomer, who died on the previous November 27th, was proved by Mrs. Esther Clarke Carrington, the mother of the deceased, the personal estate being sworn under £20,000. The testator desired to be buried at a depth of between ten and twelve feet in the grounds surrounding his own freehold house at Churt, at an expense not exceeding £5, without any service being read over his grave, and without any memorial being erected to his memory; and he directed that after his death neither his chin be shaved nor his shirt changed. He bequeathed to the Royal Society and the Royal Astronomical Society £2000 Three Per Cent. Consolidated Bank Annuities each, both free of legacy duty.

Young Lady’s Picturesque Funeral

A somewhat unusual funeral cortège astonished the inhabitants of Brighton, England, traversing it from the west end to the railway station, one morning in the autumn of 1879. Concerning it some very romantic, highly imaginative, but somewhat incorrect rumors gained currency. The funeral was that of a young lady, named Ellen Elizabeth Parren, the daughter of William Parren, Esq., of Beckenham, in Kent, who had arrived in Brighton that day week, on a visit to her uncle, Captain Dunhill, of Brunswick Road. Though delicate, she was thought to be in her usual health; but on the following Monday she died somewhat suddenly. The deceased young lady, being a great favorite both in her own family and amongst her friends, it was decided that the obsequies should not partake of that gloomy and melancholy character which is the usually accepted mode of burial, but that it should be more inspiring and hopeful in its tone. The handsome funeral car was drawn by four grays, in the place of black horses, and the funeral coaches were represented by three landaus, each drawn by a pair of grays. The coffin, having been placed upon the car, was covered by a handsome white-and-gold pall, upon which were laid a number of beautiful wreaths of white flowers. The cortège as thus arranged left Brunswick Road, Hove, for the railway station, and then proceeded to Croydon. Here, the funeral procession having been rearranged and augmented by two other landaus drawn by pairs of grays and a number of private carriages, proceeded to Norwood Cemetery, where the remains were laid in the grave, the service being performed by two Nonconformist ministers, the Rev. Mr. Eldridge and the Rev. Mr. Jenkinson. The coffin was of polished oak, with plated silver ornaments and inscription plate, the latter having upon it the following: “Ellen Elizabeth, daughter of Wm. Parren, Esq., died August 25, 1879, aged 25.”

To curtail Funeral Bills

The will of Mr. Francis Offley Martin, formerly of Lincoln’s Inn, but late of 89 Onslow Gardens, one of the Charity Commissioners for England and Wales, who died on December 4th, 1878, was proved by William Smith, the sole executor, the personal estate being sworn under £7000. The testator, in his directions for his funeral, provides that no scarfs or hatbands be used or given away on the occasion either to the clergyman or any other person, as he wishes to break through the custom of running up funeral bills; and he declares that this prohibition is to extend also to gloves.

Full Dress Uniform

The late Surgeon-Major Wyatt, C.B., of the Coldstream Guards, who did good service to suffering humanity in Paris after the siege in 1871, desired in his will to be buried in the full-dress uniform of the regiment in which he had passed the greater part of his useful and honorable life. A Bible presented to him by his wife was to be placed in his coffin, and the horses used at his funeral were not to be “decorated”—plumed and draped, we presume—in any manner; the mutes and other attendants were not to wear hatbands or scarfs; each person attending his funeral was to wear in token of mourning only a black band of medium width—crape for relatives and cloth for friends; the gloves were to be black; but each person in the procession was to wear a camellia or other white flower in his buttonhole, as it was the worthy surgeon-major’s wish that the ceremony “should be as free as possible from all gloomy associations, and to be considered more as an occasion for rejoicing than for mourning.” Consonant with this leading idea was the expressed wish that no kind of widow’s cap or weeds should be worn by his relict, and no particle of crape should appear on the garments of his relations. Side by side with this, publication was given to a will announcing the desire of another testator to be buried with a hearse surmounted by sable ostrich-plumes, with horses duly panachés and caparisoned, mutes and bearers and “pages,” scarfs and flowing hatbands and brazen-tipped staves, and all the rest of that elaborate panoply of woe which finds so much favor in the eyes, and affords such comfortable entries in the books, of old-established undertakers. Quot homines, tot sententiæ, thus every man seems to be of a different mind concerning the ordering of his funeral.

Under the Oak Trees

Sir Charles Hastings requested that his body might “not be coffined, but swathed in any coarse stuff that would hold it together, and then buried in a spot designated by him. That the ground should then be planted with acorns, so that he might render a last service to his country by contributing to nourish some good English oaks.”

An Abnormal Burial

Lord Truro, of England, whose residence was at Falconhurst, on the summit of Shooter’s Hill, afforded a novel example of funeral simplicity. On the demise of Lady Truro, Lord Truro having, according to her desire, placed the body in a lightly constructed box, so that the process of decay might not be arrested, buried it himself in a grave dug in the lawn fronting the house, at a spot she had selected for the purpose. The grave is about four feet deep, and a marble monument has been raised upon it.

Protected his Whiskers

Valentine Tapley, owner of the longest beard in the world, died Saturday, April 2, 1910, at his home, Spencerburg, Pike County, Missouri. He was eighty years old. It is said that when Lincoln was a candidate for the Presidency, Mr. Tapley, who was a Democrat, made a vow that if Lincoln was elected he would never cut his beard. The length of his beard was 12½ feet for several years prior to his death. This is said to be longer than any other beard known. Mr. Tapley took great pride in his whiskers, and wore them wrapped in silk and wound about his body. During the latter part of his life he was apprehensive his grave would be robbed for his whiskers, and in his will he made provision for a tomb of extra strength to guard against this. Mr. Tapley declined several offers to exhibit his beard. He was a large owner of Pike County farming land, and died wealthy.

Dastards and Fools

In France, not long ago, died an eccentric Frenchman who declared the French to be “a nation of dastards and fools.” For that reason, he devised the whole of his fortune to the people of London, and directed that his body be thrown into the sea a mile from the English coast. An attempt was made to have him adjudged insane when he made the will, but it failed.

Recipe and Restitution

Another Frenchman directed that a new cooking recipe should be pasted on his tomb every day; and still another Frenchman, a lawyer, left fifty thousand dollars to a lunatic asylum, declaring that it was simply an act of restitution to the clients who were insane enough to employ his services.

To the Four Winds

A queer request was made by a German who died in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in 1887. By his will, he directed that his body should be cremated and the ashes forwarded to the German Consul at New York, who was to deliver them to the captain of the steamship Elbe. When in mid-ocean, the captain was to request a passenger to dress himself in nautical costume, and, ascending with the funeral urn to the topmast, to scatter the ashes to the four winds of heaven. And these strange directions were literally carried out.

Their Ashes into the Mississippi River

During the last twenty-five years, the great Eads Bridge, which spans the Mississippi River at St. Louis, Missouri, has been favored as a spot by those who desired that their mortal ashes should be scattered to the winds. On more than one occasion, could have been seen unusual gatherings on the bridge, and after certain religious formalities, human ashes have been deposited in the river.

The latest ceremony of this kind occurred on Sunday, January, 29, 1911: Joel Braunmiller, an eccentric old bachelor, lived alone in a large house on his farm, eight miles north of Maryville, Missouri. He died recently, and left a large estate to his brothers and sisters. The following clause was contained in his will:

“I direct that after my death, my body be shipped by express to St. Louis, Mo., and there cremated and my ashes strewn to the winds from the south side of the Eads Bridge over the river.”

On the date named, Charles R. Lupton, an undertaker of St. Louis, with an urn containing the ashes of Mr. Braunmiller, leaned over the south parapet of the bridge, tipped the urn gradually, and let the ashes fall into the river. The wind, whirling about the piers and buttresses of the great bridge, caught up the ashes and flung them in every direction. When the urn had been emptied, it, too, was dropped into the river.

Mr. S. H. Kemp, Cashier of the Maryville National Bank, who was a close friend of Mr. Braunmiller, and also the executor of his will, stood close beside the undertaker to see that the ceremony was carried out according to the wishes of the deceased. There were also present relatives of the deceased, who had come from various parts of the United States.

Ruling Passion Strong in Death

The wife of Mr. Fisher Dilke, of England, brother-in-law to Sir Peter Wentworth, one of the regicide judges, was interred in the year 1660 in a very singular way.

Her husband caused her coffin to be made of the wooden palings of his barn, and bargaining hard with the sexton beat him down from “a shilling” (the usual sum) to a groat (fourpence); he avoided the expense of bearing by begging four of his friends and neighbors to discharge this office. Having assembled them he read to them a chapter of the book of Job, and then distributed to them the contents of a bottle of Burgundy and sixpennyworth of spiced cakes. As there was no ecclesiastic present, Dilke himself, who acted as chief mourner, took up the spade, and as soon as the coffin was lowered, threw earth upon it, repeating the usual words, “Dust to dust,” etc., adding, “Lord, now lettest thou,” etc. Then the party returned home.

5
MISCELLANEOUS

Pursuant to the will of Sir John Salter, who died in the year 1605, and who was a good benefactor to the Company, the beadles and servants of the Worshipful Company of Salters are to attend at St. Magnus’ Church, London Bridge, in the first week in October, and knock upon his gravestone, with sticks or staves, three times each person, and say, “How do you do, Brother Salter? I hope you are well.”

No Underclothes in Winter

A crabbed old German professor, who died at Berlin in 1900, entertaining a great dislike for his sole surviving relative, left his property to him, but on the absolute condition that he should always wear white linen clothes at all seasons of the year, and should not supplement them in winter by extra undergarments.

Had $100, gave away $700,000

A singular will was that of Miss Cora Johnson, who resided in an apartment at No. 819 Beacon Street, Boston, and who died in September, 1910, at a hospital in that city. The value of her entire possessions, when inventoried, was found not to exceed $100, and she was buried by friends; yet, by her will, she created bequests and legacies amounting to $700,000; she claimed that she was entitled to a large fortune from the estate of an unnamed person living in New York.

Miss Johnson, it is claimed, never revealed the name of this person, and even her attorney, who drew her will, was not acquainted with it; all she disclosed was that she expected a large estate from a wealthy, elderly woman, who made her will in her favor and became insane, and was in a sanitarium in New York, and this will could not be changed by reason of the insanity of the testator. Evidently, she had a firm conviction that the estate must reach her, in any event.

That part of the will referring to the promised millions reads:

“Whereas it is possible that at the time of my decease I shall not be the owner of property sufficient in amount to pay the foregoing bequests, and

“Whereas I have been credibly informed and believe that there is in existence a certain will made by a person now an inhabitant of the city and state of New York by which will certain property is devised and bequeathed to me, and

“Whereas I have been credibly informed and believe that in said will it is provided, that in case I shall die before the maker of said will, the property therein bequeathed and devised to me, shall pass to and be paid over and delivered to the persons, corporations and objects which I shall in my last will name, select and appoint:

“Now, therefore, I do hereby exercise any and all powers of appointment contained in and given to me by any such will by any person if any such will there be, desiring and intending that whether or not I survive the maker of said will, the persons, corporations and institutions hereinbefore named shall be benefited in accordance with and to the extent of the terms of this instrument, either as legatees hereunder in case of my survival of the maker of said will, or as my appointees thereunder in case of my predecease.”

His Earthly Happiness

An old bachelor, on dying, left the whole of his property to three ladies to whom he had proposed marriage, and who had refused him. The reason for this bequest, he stated, was that by their refusal, “to them I owe all my earthly happiness.”

Must pay for her Drinks

Mr. Davis, of Clapham, England, left the sum of 5s. “to Mary Davis, daughter of Peter Delaport, which is sufficient to enable her to get drunk for the last time at my expense.”

Imaginary Wife and Children

A Mr. George, resident of one of the British Colonies, who died possessed of a large property, contrived to puzzle the brains of his executors by imagining and inserting in his will two heirs who had no existence but in his brain. After bequeathing his worldly goods in the usual form, he named as his residuary legatees a son and daughter, whom he stated to be his children by a beautiful Circassian he had married at Plymouth in St. Peter’s Church. He added that, though the lady had subsequently eloped with a parson, he bore no ill-will to the children, whom she had taken with her, but should be glad to think they would be traced and apprised of their good fortune.

The whole romance turned out to be a complete fabrication, but not until it had severely tried the patience of the executors.

This Foolish World a Dream

Harris Bletzer, who died on August 21, 1910, at his home, 35 Moore Street, Brooklyn, N.Y., worth about $10,000, had pretty definite ideas as to how he wanted his money to go after his death, and he also had come to the conclusion that, after all, this was a foolish world and a dream, so he wrote down in Hebrew his philosophical conclusions and had it properly attested as his last will and testament. This remarkable document has been translated for Surrogate Ketcham’s benefit, and it has been offered for probate.

Mr. Bletzer wants his wife to have all his money for her lifetime, and she isn’t to be dictated to by anybody, either, as to what she does with it, the testator says, for she worked for it as hard as her husband did. But he says that when their two daughters, Sarah and Mazie, get married, their mother can spend $2000 upon each of them, and it shall be considered as their share of their father’s estate. After the widow dies, then the money is to be divided among the sons. The reason for his opinion of life is given in language not quite grammatical, as follows:

“Lying in my bed, with my weak strength, and figured out with a clear mind and a clear conscience, man going through his life in this foolish world; so I have decided, with my full reason, that the entire world is a dream. The years run by and the day of leave-taking is expected, and I have decided to declare what shall be done with my little wealth which I have accumulated by my sweat through my hard work.”

It paid to be Heavy

A Scotchman left to each of his daughters her weight in one-pound bank notes. By this provision, one daughter, being stouter than the other, received $30,000 more than her sister.

Opposed to Mustaches

Mr. Fleming, an upholsterer, of Pimlico, by his will, proved in 1869, left £10 each to the men in his employ—those who did not wear mustaches; those who persisted in wearing them to have £5 only.

Must be Tall

The county of Yorkshire in England is noted for its tall men, and a resident of that county left his entire estate to those of his descendants who were not less than six feet four inches in height.

Newspaper Reading Prohibited

A Vienna banker made a bequest to his nephew with the stipulation that “he shall never, on any occasion, read a newspaper, his favorite occupation.”

A Beam and Bell

The will of Reginald atte Pette, of Stockbury, dated 12th of January, 1456, is in part as follows: “Item, I bequeath toward the making of a new beam in the Church of Stockbury, xiii s. iiii d.; towards a new bell called trebyll vi s. viii d.; towards the work of the new isle in the aforesaid Church iv marcs; and towards the making of a new window there xx s. Witnesses, John Petytt, Nich. Cowstede, Adomar atte Pette, Thomas atte Pette, Peter atte Pette, Christopher, Clerk of the Parish there, Vicar of Stockbury.”

Must become an Actress

A maiden lady over fifty years of age, with a strong aversion to all theatrical amusements, was scandalized by being put down for a legacy in the will of a facetious friend, who attached the condition that within six months of the testator’s death the legatee obtain an engagement at a theatre and must perform there for one whole week.

Will sustained, Codicil rejected

A Protestant clergyman, the Reverend John Markhouse, aged 70, bequeathed £12,000 for the purpose of establishing a school for illegitimate children only, at Bradchurch, Hants, England. He added a codicil providing for educational expenses by a further sum of £8000. The disappointed relatives appealed against the will; but the court, strangely enough, decided in favor of the will and against the codicil, on consideration of the plea that towards the close of his life he had appeared eccentric enough to justify the conclusion that he was not of sound mind when he wrote the latter. Nevertheless the sequitur seems logical enough.

Music

An Englishman, Richard Lane, otherwise Tomson, by his will, dated 24th of July, 1619, gave to one of the deacons of the Cathedral Church of Hereford 40s. yearly forever, to prick fairly into books, songs, and church service, for the use of the same church; and upon his coming every half-year for his wages, he should bring with him the sub-chanter of the choir, who would show to him who had the payment of the money, what he had done in that business the half-year last past; and if he should be found negligent therein, then the payment for that time should be given to twelve poor men the Saturday next following.

Repeat the Catechism on Christmas Day

Robert Barber, Cambridgeshire, England, by will, dated 21st of June, 1818, gave unto the minister of Haslingfield and the tenant of the farm, on which Mr. Wallace then lived, £20 in trust, to be placed out at interest, upon good security, and the interest thereof to be by them given every year after his decease unto that child under the age of thirteen years, who should most perfectly repeat the Catechism, on Christmas Day.

A Plain Case

The will of E. J. Halley was filed for probate in October last at Memphis, Tennessee. It would seem from attendant circumstances that Mr. Halley was not a teetotaler, and that prohibition is not entirely effective in Tennessee.

Mr. Halley was the foster son of a lady known as “Joanna Madden, the hermit”: contrary to the rule in such matters, this hermit left a large estate, consisting of gold and silver snugly put away in her home; a squad of policemen escorted the money to a local bank; this Mr. Halley received, but he did not live long to enjoy it; but it is reported, however, that he did enjoy it while he lived. Death came, and by his will, duly executed, he left the estate to schoolmates, nurses, favorite baseball players, deputy sheriffs, and a few orphan asylums, for good measure; with some of the legatees he was not acquainted. Among other provisions in this highly interesting testament, may be recited the following:

“To the nurse who kindly removed a pink monkey from the foot of my bed, $5000.”

“To the cook at the hospital who removed snakes from my broth, $5000.”

The heirs at law reached the conclusion that too high a value had been put upon these services and temporary friendships, and filed a bill to enjoin the payment of the legacies.

Penchant for Paper-knives

M. Charles Asselineau, a well-known Frenchman, died in 1874. His estate appears to have consisted largely of books and paper-knives. These he disposed of by will in a bequest to a relative. He had as many paper-knives as Clapisson had whistles or Buffon butterflies, and they were all more or less remarkable by reason of the celebrity of the donors, or former owners, and the unique inscriptions they bore. Those who are interested may find amusement, if not recreation, in an attempt to ascertain the point and meaning of some of the phrases.

On one given him by Victor Hugo we read: “Madame, il fait grand vent et j’ai tué six loups.”

On that of Ponsard: “Quand la borne est franchie, il n’y a plus de limites.”

On that of Émile Augier: “Ce qui tombe au fossé, Madame, est au soldat.” And so on.

In this collection are paper-knives that had belonged to Béranger, Bauville, Autran, Camille Doucet, and many other French writers of fame, each carefully enclosed in a case of its own and labelled.

An Odd Lot

There is a well-authenticated case of a wealthy man leaving his riches to deserving old maids, but he let his own daughters pine in single blessedness for want of portions. There was also an individual who desired to set up a lifeboat, compelling his boys to “paddle their own canoe,” and there is yet another testator who, when death approached, bestowed his estate for the planting of a botanical garden, leaving his daughters to fade as wallflowers, and his sons to go to seed in penury; and these testamentary schemes were upheld, notwithstanding the adage that “Charity begins at home.”

A Butcher made Happy

An old Parisian lady residing in the Rue Fontaine St. Georges, left by will the whole of her fortune to her butcher. Its amount was invested in rentes, and produced $7500 a year.

The butcher was in no way related to her, did not even know her by sight, neither had she ever seen him. As the testatrix had no heirs either direct or collateral, and no relations, the will was not disputed, and the butcher glided quite comfortably into his new position.

He used “Plain English”

The last will and testament of Mr. Daniel Martinett, of Calcutta, in the East Indies.

“In the name of God, I, Daniel Martinett, of the town of Calcutta, being in perfect mind and memory, though weak of body, make this my last Will and Testament in manner and form following.... To avoid Latin phrases, as it is a tongue I am not well versed in, ‘I shall speak in plain English.’

“First. In the most submissive manner I recommend my soul to Almighty God, &c.

“Secondly. Now as to worldly concerns, in the following manner:—As to this fulsome carcase having already seen enough of worldly pomp, I desire nothing relative to it to be done, only its being stowed away in my old green chest, to avoid expense; for as I lived profusely, I die frugally.

“Thirdly. The undertaker’s fees come to nothing, as I won them from him at a game of billiards, in the presence of Mr. Thomas Morrice and William Perkes, at the said William Perkes’ house, in February last. I furthermore request, not only as it is customary, but as I sincerely believe the prayers of the good availeth, and are truly consistent with decency, that the Rev. Mr. Henry Butler read the prayers which are customary at burials, and also preach a sermon on Sunday next after my decease, taking his text from Solomon, “All is vanity.” In consideration of which, over and above his fees, I bestow upon him all my hypocrisy, which he wants as a modern good man; but as my finances are low, and cannot conveniently discharge his fees, I hope he will please accept the will for the deed.

“Fourthly. To Henry Vansittart, Esq., Governor of Bengal, as an opulent man, I leave the discharge of all such sums of money (the whole not exceeding 300 rupees) that I shall stand indebted to indigent persons in the town of Calcutta.

“Fifthly. To Mr. George Grey, Secretary to the Presidency, I bequeath all my sincerity.

“Sixthly. To Mr. Simon Drose, Writer to the Secretary’s office, all my modesty.

“Seventhly. To Mr. Henry Higgenson, also of the Secretary’s office, all the thoughts I hope I shall die possessed of.

“Eighthly. To Mr. Thomas Forbes, all the worldly assurance which I had when I had taken a cheerful glass, though in fact a doleful cup.

“Ninthly. My wearing apparel, furniture, books, and everything else I die possessed of, I bequeath to them who stand most in need of them, leaving it to the discretion of my executor, Mr. Edward Gulston, excepting the things after mentioned:—Unto Capt. Edward Menzies, late commander of the ship Hibernia, I give my sea quadrant, invented by Hadley, and made by Howell, in the Strand; likewise my two-feet Gunter’s scale. These I give him because I believe he knows the use of them better than any commander out of this port.

“My silver watch and buckles I give to Mr. Edward Gulston, in lieu of his sincere friendship to me during our acquaintance; and these I hope he will not part with, unless his necessities require it, which I sincerely hope will never be the case.

“Also to Mr. Thomas Forbes I give my gold ring with a blue stone set therein, which he may exchange for a mourning one if he pleases.

“I give my Bible and Prayer-book to the Rev. Mr. Henry Butler.

“My sword, with a cut-and-thrust blade, I give to Capt. Ransulie Knox, as I verily believe he not only knows how, but has courage to use it, and I hope only in a good cause.

“As I have lived the make-game of a modern gentleman, being a butt for envy and a mark for malice, by acting a little out of the common road, though, thank God, never in a base way, I hope I may die in sincere love and charity to all men, forgiving all my persecutors, as I hope for forgiveness from my Creator.

“As it lies not in my power to bequeath anything to my relations at home, I shall say nothing concerning them, as they have not for these six years past concerned themselves about me; excepting that I heartily wish them all well, and that my brothers and sisters may make a more prosperous voyage through this life than I have done.

“(Signed) Daniel Martinett.”

This original and singular will was deposited in the Registry Office at Calcutta, Bengal, after the death of the testator, which took place in 1825: the governor of Bengal generously accepted the equivocal legacy of debts and paid them. Mr. Martinett was an officer of the well-known East India Company.

Had a Clamorous Tongue

Mr. Lewis Evan Morgan, an old Welsh gentleman, died at Gwyllgyth, in Glamorganshire, in the ninety-eighth year of his age. His will is neatly comprised in few words very much to the purpose: “I give to my old faithful servant, Ester Jones, the whole that I am possessed of either in personal property, land, or otherwise. She is a tolerable good woman, but would be much better if she had not so clamorous a tongue. She has, however, one great virtue, which is a veil to all her foibles—strict honesty.”

Hated Lawyers

General Hawley, who drew up his own will “because of the hatred and suspicion with which I regard all lawyers,” left “£100 to my servant Elizabeth Buskett because she has proved herself a useful and agreeable handmaid.” The rest of his belongings he bequeathed to his adopted son, but provided that, if he should be foolish enough to marry the said Elizabeth, neither was to inherit a farthing.

He desired his executors to consign his “carcase” to any place they pleased, and if the parish priest should claim a burial fee, they were to “let the puppy have it.”

A Pedler and his Dog

In the window at the west end of the nave at St. Mary’s, Lambeth, in London, may be seen a singular group representing a pedler with a pack on his back followed by a dog. Its age is not known, but it was there at the end of the sixteenth century. It is connected with a piece of land called Pedler’s Acre, anciently known as Church Hopys, which is entered in the parish register as bequeathed by a person unknown. A tradition preserved in the locality states that this isthmus was given to the parish to hold as long as the representation of himself and his dog was preserved in the church window.

His Brothers, Washington and Bonaparte

A resident of an Eastern State, who died recently, reflects in his will that he was shunned by his relatives, “who cannot, now that I am dying, do too much for my comfort.” But the testator, one Dr. Wagner, takes on these relations a ghastly revenge. To his brother, Napoleon Bonaparte, he bequeathed his left arm and hand; to another brother, George Washington, his right arm and hand; and to others his legs, nose, ears, etc. Further, the testator leaves a thousand dollars for the dismembering of his body.

Will written on a Door

An eccentric testator, having been told that so long as the proper formalities required by the law of wills were complied with it was immaterial whether the said will were written on paper, parchment, canvas, or wood, elected to write his on his door. The executors had therefore no choice but to have the door unscrewed from its hinges and carried into court for probate before it could be administered. The author has not been able to locate the court in which this rather weighty will was probated, but its existence is well authenticated.

On a Card torn from a Freight Car

A strange document was recently filed as a will in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Robert J. McElroy, after being fatally injured by a freight train, scribbled on a card torn from a freight car: “Mary, all that is mine is thine.” The will left an estate of $5200 to his wife. After writing the will, McElroy signed the letter “R,” but was unable to finish, and other trainmen completed the signature. McElroy died on June 12, 1910.

His Will on Wrapping-paper

Joseph Dwyer of Weymouth, Massachusetts, died in October, 1910. His will was probated in the Norfolk County Court at Dedham. This will was unusual in that it was written on a piece of grocer’s brown wrapping-paper. Under it he gave to his wife an estate valued at $50,000. The will was held to be valid.

Will on a Collar Box

Nicholas Zimmer was a passenger on the steamer, Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse, on a voyage from a European port to the United States, in October, 1910.

In mid-ocean, he mysteriously disappeared and undoubtedly jumped overboard. He was last seen on October 1, 1910, and his non-appearance at meals the following day led to a search of his cabin. Under a steamer rug was found a collar box, on the lid of which was written his last will and testament. A search of his papers disclosed that he was sixty years of age and an American.

During the voyage, he had spoken to many of his fellow-passengers, and had made friends with some of the stewards. He had in no wise acted strangely.

The will written on the lid of the collar box bequeathed seven hundred dollars in cash and ten thousand dollars in securities to his wife. This amount of cash, and the securities, were found in the box. When the steamer reached her dock, the government officials boarded the vessel, received the box and forwarded it to Mrs. Zimmer.

Three-word Will Invalid

Recently, the Supreme Court of Appeals of Virginia rejected the will of the late George T. Smith, of Richmond, which was composed of three words, “Everything is Lou’s,” in the suit of Samuel H. Smith, appellant, against Loula G. Smith.

These three words were written on a page of a book issued by the Southern Railroad Company to its employees for keeping records on trains.

The court held that such an instrument was not entitled to probate.

Man must dress in Female Attire

Money is so generally welcome that it is hardly conceivable that a legacy in cash would ever be refused. Occasionally, however, as a result of the absurdity or harshness of the conditions attached to legacies, substantial bequests of this kind have been declined. An Englishman refused a legacy of two hundred pounds because it was stipulated that before receiving it he must walk down the most important street of a fashionable summer resort (Brighton) “dressed in female attire.”

A Lion Sermon

Sir John Gayer, a citizen of London, and lord mayor upwards of 200 years ago, left by will some money to provide for a sermon, which is preached at the Church of St. Katharine Cree, Leadenhall Street, every October, in commemoration of his being saved from a lion on the coast of Africa, in answer to prayer.

What’s in a Name

A gentleman named Furstone of Alton Hampshire, England, about to make his will, and having no family, left seven thousand pounds to any man legitimately bearing the name of Furstone, who should discover and marry a female Furstone. If the marriage should result in children, the sum was to descend to the male offspring, if any, or to any child or children of the opposite sex who should, after marriage, retain the name.

Would not speak to the Legatee

In 1772, John Edmunds, Esq., of Monmouth, England, bequeathed a fortune of upwards of twenty thousand pounds to one Mills, a day laborer, residing near Monmouth. Mr. Edmunds, who had so handsomely provided for this man, would not speak to or see him while he lived.

Only our Saviour could demand It

Recently a cynical old man in a Western town died, who in his will devised all his property to that man in the community who could prove that he was a Christian. Then a definition of a Christian was given, which would exclude every one who had lived on earth, except the Saviour himself: the will was promptly set aside and the property given to the legal heirs.