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Autobiography of an Androgyne

Chapter 9: INDEX TO AUTOBIOGRAPHY
By Ralph Werther
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About This Book

The author offers a candid first-person account of living as an androgynous person, tracing personal experiences of gender variance, social stigma, and legal and medical responses. Interweaving autobiographical narrative with reflective essays, the text distinguishes congenital from acquired forms of same-sex attraction, critiques punitive laws and moral hypocrisy, and urges humane, informed treatment. Supplemental materials include contemporaneous impressions, a discussion of a prominent medico-legal case, and a questionnaire on homosexuality, all intended to prompt professional study and reform. The tone balances confession, analysis, and appeal to physicians, lawyers, and social scientists to better understand and alleviate the hardships faced by sexual minorities.

INDEX TO AUTOBIOGRAPHY

  • A
  • Abnormality, congenital, 29
  • Abstinence would wreck life, 106
  • Acting out a drama, 120
  • Active pederasts, 156
  • Actives are ultra-virile, 118
  • Adopted son, first, 87, 236 ff., 249
  • Adopted son, second, 240 ff., 249
  • Advice to young inverts, 94, 242
  • Æstheticism, 16
  • Aftermath of dissipation, 93, 94, 150, 195, 243
  • Age 4 to 8, 31 ff.
    • 9 to 12, 38 ff.
    • 13 to 18, 44 ff.
    • 19 to 21, 79 ff.
    • 22 to 23, 139 ff.
    • 24 to 26, 180 ff.
    • 27 to 28, 195 ff.
    • 29 to 30, 210 ff.
    • 31 to 39, 225 ff.
    • 40 to 44, 238 ff.
  • Ague, sexual, 62, 72
  • Alcohol, author’s attitude, 78, 126
  • Alcohol conduces ven. disease, 126, 234
  • Aliases, origin of, 26
  • Alleviating ill effects, 95
  • Anatomical peculiarities of associates, 87, 127
  • Androgyne defined, 6
  • Androgyne’s marriage bond, 83
  • Androgynes the handiwork of God, 108
  • Androgynism, frequency of, 2, 34
  • Apparel, feminine, coveted, 36, 103
  • Apparel of inverts, 36, 122, 202
  • Appeal to General G., 229
  • Appeal to highminded adolescents, 105, 195
  • Appeal to U. S. district attorney, 229
  • Army officers, interviews with, 213, 215, 226, 229, 230
  • Arrest, 112, 130, 213, 226, 230
    • chronic fear of, 114
    • wishing for, 171
  • Assault and battery, 64, 135, 136, 145, 146, 149, 172, 225–228
  • Attraction, in boyhood, exercised on males, 10, 37, 44
  • Attractiveness, what constituted, 86, 148, 149
  • B
  • Babying, 15, 48, 52, 78, 79, 85, 90, 152, 154, 179, 191, 192, 218
  • Babyishness, 15, 64, 80, 85, 90, 98, 116, 119, 120, 123, 147, 154–156, 191, 209, 210, 212, 218, 219, 222, 239, 246, 219
  • Beauty, feminine, powerless, 47, 236
  • Bemoaning lot, 41, 46, 48, 49, 51, 53, 54, 58, 67, 69, 70, 75, 129, 141, 196, 209, 235, 245
  • Betrayal of author, 139
  • Beza on androgynes, 6
  • Biblical condemnation not applicable, 107
  • Birth, 27
  • Blackmailers, 112, 145, 149, 165, 171, 186, 193, 212, 225, 241, 242
  • Body-shaving, 124
  • Bowery, debut on, 66
    • night on, 147
  • Burglarized, 241
  • Business success of author, 244
  • C
  • Cannibalism, 171
  • Career (open) ends, 231
  • Cast out of a camp, 121
  • Castration, 197
    • appeal for at nineteen, 74
    • by self meditated, 41
    • effects of, 198 ff., 230
  • Cause of inversion, 18
  • Ceremony of adoration and of enslavement, 98
  • Chance encounters with associates of other self, 162 ff.
  • Child, hypochondriacal and weak, 31
  • Childhood eccentricities, 37
  • Childlikeness when adult, 14, 44, 119, 189, 248
  • Chronic overwhelming fear, 146
  • Coitus cum puella, 30, 236
  • Coitus (fellatio) a panacea, 82
  • Coitus, methods of, 89 ff.
  • Conflict of my two lives, 129
  • Conflicts of double life, 162
  • Conversation, samples of, 64, 72, 122, 129, 134, 148, 165, 169, 181, 192, 211
  • Convulsions in early childhood, 31
  • Courtmartialled, 229
  • Cured (practically), 235, 245
  • D
  • Darkest New York, 154
  • Debut as deliciae militum, 111
    • as high-class fairie, 122
    • as low-class fairie, 142
    • at Fort X, 191
    • at Fort Y, 202
    • in Fort Z company, 225
    • in Fourteenth Street, 122
    • in Stuyvesant Square, 130
    • on Bowery, 66
    • on Mulberry Street, 71
  • Defecation, incontinence of, 158
  • Depilation, 124
  • Detective arrests, 130
  • Divine ban on celibacy, 161
  • Double-life disclosed, 139, 188
    • reason for, 174
  • Driven to a stripling, 195
  • E
  • Eavesdroppers, 152, 168
  • Eekhoud on inversion, 20
  • Effects of fellatio on associates, 88, 89, 194
  • Ejaculations in self, 39, 92, 95, 195, 196, 198
  • Ellis’s theory of inversion, 21
  • Encounters with acquaintances of one life while living out the other, 162 ff.
  • Eradication of facial hair, 124, 202
  • Erotic dreams, 46
  • Ethics of inversion, 23, 45, 52, 56, 67, 81, 105 ff., 139, 142, 190, 194, 247
  • Eunuchs by birth, in India, 69, 117, 155
  • Europe, adventures in, 186 ff.
  • Evening with a gang, 78
  • Expelled from university, 140
  • F
  • Fairie apprenticeship, 77 ff.
  • Faith-cure tried, 68
  • Farewell to forts, 216
    • Fourteenth Street, 134
    • low-class fairie period, 157
    • Mulberry Street, 99
  • Fear of slums, 146, 176
  • Fellatio, at age of twelve, 39
    • defence of, 90, 106 ff.
    • defined, 89, 90, 92
    • early opinions of, 42
    • in infancy, 30 ff.
    • in early youth, 39
    • its genesis, 15, 29
    • not a sin, 106 ff.
    • not rare, 92
    • obsession declines, 230
    • prescribed by physician, 81, 105
  • Female and infant impersonation natural, 19, 209
  • Female brain in male body, 19, 246
  • Female-impersonation, 10, 19, 31, 36, 62, 64, 85, 98, 111, 118, 119, 120, 143, 156, 191, 202, 225, 237
  • Female-impersonation sprees, 62 ff., 71, 77 ff., 85, 101 ff., 111, 122, 128, 133, 147 ff., 151 ff., 154 ff., 157, 167 ff., 178 ff., 180 ff., 191 ff., 201 ff., 225
  • Feminine apparel, yearning for, 36, 103
    • stamp on author, 10–12, 13, 36–38, 248–250
  • Femininity, sensitiveness over, 37, 48
  • Fetishes, 49, 50, 206
  • First catch, 72
    • encounter with Mars, 111
    • full knowledge, 57
    • half of open career ends, 188
    • knowledge of N. Y. professionals, 78
    • knowledge of other adult inverts, 53
    • nocturnal ramble, 61
    • reading about inverts, 70
    • robbery and assault, 65
    • self-knowledge, 46
  • Flirtations of boyhood, 36, 37, 43
  • Forced into breeches, 35
  • Fort X, debut at, 191
  • Fort Y, debut at, 202
  • Fort Z men cultivated, 225 ff.
  • Fourteenth Street period, 122 ff.
  • Frequency of fairie-ism, 151
    • of passive inversion, 2, 34
  • Freshman year, 47 ff.
  • G
  • Gethsemane, author’s, 46
  • Girl-boy playmates, 32
  • Glimpses into Hell’s Kitchen, 62, 167
  • Gonorrhea, 126, 190
  • Grapes conduce syphilis, 234
  • Gynander, 28
  • H
  • Hair system of author, 11, 13, 124, 125, 199
  • Half-murdered, 228
  • Haunted by sensual images, 59
  • Hecatontandry, 193
  • Hell’s Kitchen, glimpses into, 62 ff., 167
  • Hermaphrodism, types of, 8, 10, 33, 70
  • Hermaphroditos, 5
  • High-class fairieship, 122 ff.
  • How marriage bond was cemented, 83
  • Hyperæsthesia, author’s, 94
  • I
  • Incognito adventures inevitable, 137
  • In college gymnasium, 103
  • Infant fairie, 30 ff.
  • Infantilism, psychical (See Babyishness)
  • Innocent in red-light district, 66
  • Instinct proven irresistible, 105, 174, 175
  • Inter femora defined, 95
  • In the lair of a strumpet, 102
  • In the slums in my best, 101
  • Introspective, 1
  • Inversion, cause, 18
    • frequency of, 2, 34
    • not sodomy, 21
    • promotes music, 33
  • Inverts, forbearance due, 109
    • good actors, 118 ff., 156
    • occupying eminent positions, 91, 175
    • two kinds, 20
  • Irresponsibility, dawning sense of, 51
  • I touch bottom, 143
  • J
  • Jail, reflections in, 113
  • Jennie J. encounters R.W.’s associates, 164
  • Jennie June is introduced, 62
  • K
  • Krafft-Ebing on androgynes, 6
  • Kurella’s theory of inversion, 22
  • L
  • Legal injustice to inverts, 23, 24, 133, 136, 229
  • Letters, sample, 201, 210, 214
  • Liquor vitæ as medicament, 93
  • Looked upon as girl, 10, 48, 85, 120, 128, 192, 204, 206, 218, 222
  • Low-class fairieship, 142 ff.
  • M
  • Manuscript of autobiography stolen, 241
  • Manustupration, 38, 41, 97
  • Medicine, recourse to, 47, 73, 81
  • Melancholia, 32, 45, 46, 48, 54, 58, 67, 69, 70, 75, 104, 109, 136, 141, 173, 176, 230, 235, 238, 239, 241, 245
  • Mental acumen, 38, 93, 114, 123, 139, 140
  • Mental characteristics, 12, 14–17
  • Method of leading up, 63, 181
  • Middle life reached, 238
  • Milites easiest of conquests, 117
  • Model pupil, 38
  • Monandry, periods of, 138, 237, 240
  • Moral paragon outside venery, 44, 121, 131, 136, 189, 242
  • Morality judged by others, 25, 44, 81, 140
  • Mujerados among red men, 70, 156
  • Mulberry Street period, 77 ff.
    • farewell to, 99
    • night on, 85
  • Muscle dance, 15, 166
  • Music, effect of, 116
  • N
  • Nature of satisfaction, 91, 97
  • Nature’s aim in androgynism, 88, 108, 243
  • No alcohol, no syphilis, 234
  • Nymphomania, 59, 60, 96, 104, 142, 159, 173, 174, 195
  • O
  • Open career ends, 231
  • Opinion of inversion, prevalent, 25, 75, 110, 140
  • Outcast period, 141 ff.
  • P
  • Pædicatio dangerous, 82, 96, 158
  • Parentage, 27
  • Persecution of inverts, 130, 132, 149, 172, 227, 235
  • Petit-jesus, etymology, 8
  • Physical traits, 12, 13, 35, 48, 248
  • Physicians consulted, 47, 73, 81
  • Pickpocketing, 101, 145, 203, 228
  • Police, encounters with, 112, 122, 132, 145, 178, 193, 207, 229
  • Polyandry vs. monandry, 88
  • Polyglottism and inversion, 17
  • Popularity and fame achieved, 205
  • Potassium iodide antidote vs. ill effects, 95
  • Prayers for feminization, 41
  • Pregnancy, fear of, 43
  • Private secretary period, 173 ff.
  • Professional fairies, 122, 125, 143, 155
  • Pursued by women, 13
  • Q
  • Quarters of the city frequented, 76, 122, 131, 143
  • R
  • Race for life, 170
  • Raison d’étre of inverts, 88, 108, 243
  • Recognized by Jennie J’s associates, 162 ff.
  • Recognized by Ralph W’s associates, 162 ff.
  • Reform, 158
  • Rejected by Providence from ministry, 76, 161
  • Relatives, abnormal, 28
  • Religion unavailing, 49, 56, 58, 68, 159
  • Religious prodigy, 35, 45, 58, 68, 248
  • Reveries, youthful, 40
  • Robbers, 64, 78, 102, 145, 149, 169, 179, 193, 214, 241
  • Rockies, in, 235
  • Ruffians’ attitude, 63
  • S
  • Sadism, 98, 214
  • St. Vitus’ dance, 37
  • School life, 38
  • Second nocturnal ramble, 71
  • Semen ingested, effect of, 93
  • Semi-invalid, author a, 244
  • Senior year, 122 ff.
  • Sex is psychical primarily, 22
    • scale, 9
  • Sexes not sharply divided, 8
  • Sexual determinants of author, 10–13
    • lot compared with normal, 243
    • precocity, 30
    • preferences, 87, 127, 142, 149
    • reveries, youthful, 40
    • starvation, 104
  • Sexually abnormal relatives, 28
  • Singing, fairie, 78, 155, 192
  • Soldiers deliciae, 111 ff., 138, 147, 189 ff., 236, 240
  • Songs, 217 ff.
  • Sophomore and junior years, 69 ff.
  • Spermatorrhea, 194, 196
  • Spied on, 225
  • Spree, preliminaries to, 177
  • Squad-room, evening in, 192
  • Squaw-men in red race, 70, 156
  • Stamping ground as low-class fairie, 144
  • Steamboat flirtation, 180
  • Stuyvesant Square, debut in, 131
  • Suicide contemplated, 32, 37, 46, 58, 69, 106, 109, 113, 141, 173, 235
  • Syphilis, 126, 127, 150, 231 ff.
  • T
  • Taste for learning, 17, 35, 38, 51, 125, 139
  • Tattooing, 87, 192
  • Teasing, subject of, 14, 208, 212, 248
  • Temptations peculiar to inverts, 39, 43, 44, 48–51, 55, 74, 235
  • Tobacco, never used, 77
  • Two-sided life, 119
  • Typical chase, 153
  • Typical night on side street, 151
  • U
  • Undersized, 13, 35
  • Usual treatment of inverts, 75, 110
  • V
  • Venereal disease, 126, 127, 150, 190, 231 ff.
  • Venery, excessive, harmful, 150
  • Verdicts of pastor and alienist, 81
  • Voice, singing, 11, 27, 78, 192
    • speaking, 11
  • W
  • Warts, venereal, 126
  • Weight, author’s, 198
  • Whistling, inability, 37
  • Who cultivate androgynes, 32, 33, 86, 117, 243
  • Why a double life, 174
  • Why an autobiography, 1, 3, 7, 35
  • Why fairie career ended, 231, 235
  • Wilde, Oscar, 20, 251
  • Y
  • Youthful appearance, 16, 189, 244
  • Year 1874 on, 27 ff.
    • 1883 on, 38 ff.
    • 1889 on, 45 ff.
    • 1891 on, 47 ff.
    • 1893, 77 ff.
    • 1894–5, 99 ff.
    • 1896, 128 ff.
    • 1897, 158 ff.
    • 1898, 180 ff.
    • 1899–01, 189 ff.
    • 1902, 203 ff.
    • 1903–4, 210 ff.
    • 1905–6, 216 ff.
    • 1907–18, 235 ff.