You whore, you cunning whore, I shall catch your rogue too,
H'as light legs else, I had so Ferret-claw'd him:
Oh have I found ye? do ye play at dog-sleep still whore?
Do you think that can protect ye? yes, I will kill thee,
But first I'll bring thy friends to view thy villanies,
Thy whorish villanies: and first I'll beat thee,
Beat thee to pin-dust, thou salt whore, thou varlet,
Scratch out thine eyes; I'll spoil your tempting visage;
Are ye so patient? I'll put my nails in deeper,
Is it good whoring? whoring ye base rascal?
Is it good tempting men with strings to ride ye?
So, I'll fetch your kindred, and your friends, whore,
And such a Justice I will act upon thee. [Exit.
Enter Isabella.
Has harrowed me, plough'd Land was ne'r so harrow'd:
I had the most adoe to save mine eyes.
But I'll heal all again with good Gold. Jaquenet;
H'as damned nails.
I'll undertake he shall strike 'em through an inch board.
And now let me alone to end the Tragedy.
Reach me my Book, a[n]d see the door made fast wench,
And so good night: now to the matter politick.
[Lopez knocks within.
And in mine Husband's absence?
You know my voice ye whore, I am that Husband:
Do you mark her subtilty? but I have paid her,
I have so ferk'd her face: here's the blood Gentlemen,
Ecce signum: I have spoil'd her Goatish beauty,
Observe her how she looks now, how she is painted,
Oh 'tis the most wicked'st whore, and the most treacherous—
Enter Lopez, Bartello, Gent. and two Gentlewomen.
Arm'd with religious thoughts.
That naughty woman you had pull'd a-pieces?
Are not you mad my friend? what time o' th' moon is 't?
Have not you Maggots in your brains?
And all the hair pluck'd off her head?
'Twere better far you had lost your pair of pibbles,
Than she the least adornment of that sweetness.
A base abuse.
And sticks me up a wonder, not a woman,
Nothing I doe, but's subject to suspition;
Nothing I can do, able to content him.
To give ye sauce to your meat, and suddainly.
Thou have a Wife, thou have a Bear ty'd to thee,
To scratch thy jealous itch, were all o' my mind,
I mean all women, we would [soone] disburthen ye
Of that that breeds these fits, these dog-flaws in ye,
A Sow-guelder should trim ye.
And one as fit for him as a Thief for a halter,
You see this youth: will you not cry him quittance,
Body 'me, I would pine, but I would pepper him,
I'll come anon, he, hang him, poor pompillion:
How like a wench bepist he looks, I'll come Lady;
Lopez, The Law must teach ye what a wife is,
A good, a virtuous wife.
I crave your loves all to make known my cause,
That so a fair Divorce may pass between us,
I am weary of my life: in danger hourly.
Unsufferable rude: I'll pay him soundly,
You should be whipt in Bedlam: I'll reward him.
And in my wits.
And get his goods confiscate: you shall have 'em;
I will not fail at nine.
And once I would have sworn I had taken her napping,
I think my name is Lopez.
You see you have abus'd her, fouly wrong'd her,
Hung scandalous and course opinions on her,
Which now you find but children of suspition:
Ask her forgiveness, shew a penitence,
She is my kinswoman, and what she suffers
Under so base and beastly jealousies,
I will redress else, I'll seek satisfaction.
Here I confess most freely I have wrong'd ye,
As freely here I beg a pardon of ye,
From this hour no debate, no cross suspition—
Thus I assure my love, and seal your pardon.
And do not juggle with me, nor dissemble,
For as I have a life ye dye then: I am not mad,
Nor does the Devil work upon my weakness,
Tell me the trick of this, and tell me freely.
Bartello was the end of all this jealousie,
His often visitations brought by you, first
Bred all these fits, and these suspitions:
I knew your false key, and accordingly
I fram'd my plot, to have you take him finely,
Too poor a pennance for the wrong his wife bears,
His worthy virtuous wife: I felt it sensibly
When ye took off the string, and was much pleas'd in't,
Because I wish'd his importunate dotage paid well,
And had you staid two minutes more, ye had had him.
Next time he comes, as long he cannot tarry,
Your self shall see, and hear, his lewd temptatio[n]s.
Hence-forward Mistriss of your self I give ye,
And I to serve ye: For my lusty Captain,
I'll make him dance, and make him think the Devil
Claws at his breech, and yet I will not hurt him:
Come now to bed, and prove but constant this way,
I'll prove the man you ever wished.
Actus Quartus. Scæna Prima.
Enter Silvio.
And through what Cities to absolve this Riddle
Diviners, Dreamers, School-men, deep Magicians,
All have I try'd, and all give several meaning,
And from all hope of any future happiness,
To this place am I come at length, the Countrey,
The people simple, plain, and harmless witty,
Whose honest labours Heaven rewards with plenty
Of Corn, Wine, Oyl, which they again as thankful,
To their new Crops, new pastimes celebrate,
And crown their joyful harvests with new voices;
By a rich Farmer here I am entertain'd,
And rank'd among the number of his servants,
Not guessing what I am, but what he would have me,
Here may be so much wit (though much I fear it)
To undo this knotty question; and would to Heaven.
Enter Soto with a Proclamation.
And never known a pitch above their plainness.
Is a plaguy word, that it is r. e. a. that it is, reason,
By your leave, Mr. Soto, by your leave, you are too quick, Sir,
There's a strange parlous T. before the reason,
A very tall T. which makes the word High Treason.
Himself?
What a devil ails this fellow? this foolish fellow?
Being admitted to be one of us too,
That are the masters of the sports proceeding,
Thus to appear before me too, unmorris'd?
Do you know me friend?
Your Rings, your Ribons, friend? & your clean Napkins?
Your Nosegay in your hat, pinn'd up, am not I here?
My fathers eldest Son, and at this time, Sir,
I would have ye know it, though ye be ten times his servant
A better man than my father far, Lord of this Harvest, Sir,
And shall a man of my place want attendance?
I would have made Suit else for your Lordships service.
But thou art a melancholy fellow, vengeance melancholy,
And that may breed an insurrection amongst us;
Go too, I'll lay the best part of two pots now
Thou art in love, and I can guess with whom too,
I saw the wench that twir'd and twinkled at thee,
The other day; the wench that's new come hither,
The young smug wench.
And thou shalt have my Lordships countenance to her;
May be I have had a snap my self, may be I, may be no,
We Lords are allow'd a little more.
I humbly thank ye, you are too too tender of me,
But what Sir, I beseech ye, was that paper,
Your Lordship was so studiously imployed in,
When ye came out a-doors?
A notable piece of villany, as ever thou heard'st in thy life,
By mine honor it is.
To apprehend the body of one Silvio,
As arrant a Rascal as ever pist against a post,
And this same Silvio, or this foresaid rascal,
To bring before her, live or dead; for which good service
The man that brings him, has two thousand Duckets;
Is not this notable matter now?
This Proclamation bears my bane about it;
Can no rest find me? no private place secure me?
But still my miseries like blood-hounds haunt me?
Unfortunate young man, which way now guides thee,
Guides thee from death? the Countrey's laid round for thee;
Oh Claudio, now I feel thy blood upon me,
Now it speaks loudly here, I am sure against me,
Time now has found it out, and truth proclaim'd it,
And Justice now cries out, I must die for it.
I know him as well as I know thee, and better,
And if I light upon him, for a trick he plaid me once,
A certain kind of dog-trick, I'll so fiddle him,
Two thousand Duckets, I'll so pepper him,
And with that money I'll turn Gentleman,
Worth a brown Baker's dozen of such Silvios.
And for the money sake betray me too;
I must bethink me suddenly and safely.
Enter Morris-dancers.
Now, for the honor of our Town, Boyes, trace sweetly.
[Cry within of, Arm, Arm.
Cannot they let us dance in our own defence here?
Enter Farmer and Captain.
And with your antient resolutions follow me;
Look how the Beacons show like Comets, your poor neighbors
Run maddingly affrighted through the Villages;
Syenna's Duke is up, burns all before him,
And with his sword, makes thousand mothers childless.
And arm him well i' th' States name, I command ye;
And they that dare go voluntary, shall receive reward.
You cannot be content to spoil our sport here,
Which I do not think your Worship's able to answer,
But you must set us together by the ears with I know not who too?
We are for the bodily part o' th' dance.
This is no time to fool, I shall return ye else,
A rebel to the General, State, and Duchess,
And how you'll answer then—
This is my only boy; I beseech ye Master Captain.
I never had good luck at buffets neither.
Shall all the wenches in the Countrey curse ye?
'Tis pity their old custom should be frighted,
Let me have Horse, and good Arms, I'll serve willingly,
And if I shrink a foot of ground, Hell take me.
I'll take this man, and thank ye too.
He'll praunce it bravely, friend, he fears no Colours,
And take the Armor down, and see him dizin'd.
I say no more, but this, there must be more May-Lords,
And I know who are fit.
For if this goe not forward, I foresee friends,
This war will fright our neighbors out o' th' villages;
Cheer up your hearts, we shall hear better news, boys.
I find my wives instructions now mere verities,
My learned wives, she often hath pronounc'd to me
My safety Bomby, defie these sports, thou art damn'd else,
This Beast of Babylon, I will never back again,
His pace is sure prophane, and his lewd Wi-hees,
The Sons of Hymyn and Gymyn, in the wilderness.
Your zeal sweats, this is not careful, neighbor,
The Hobby-horse, is a seemly Hobby-horse.
And got at Rome by the Popes Coach-Horses,
His mother was the Mare of ignorance.
His mother was an honest Mare, and a Mare of good credit,
I know the Mare, and if need be, can bring witness;
And in the way of honesty I tell thee,
Scorn'd any Coach-Horse the Pope had: thou art foolish,
And thy blind zeal makes thee abuse the Beast.
And tell thee to thy face, this prophane riding
I feel it in my conscience, and I dare speak it,
This un-edified ambling, hath brought a scourge upon us,
This Hobby-horse sincerity we liv'd in
War, and the sword of slaughter: I renounce it,
And put the beast off; thus, the beast polluted,
And now no more shall hop on high Bomby,
Follow the painted pipes of high pleasures,
And with the wicked, dance the devils measures;
Away thou pamper'd jade of vanity,
Stand at the Livery of lewd delights now,
And eat the provinder of prick-ear'd folly,
My dance shall be to the pipe of persecution.
Carry the Beast to his Crib: I have renounc'd him
And all his works.
The hopeful Hobby-horse, shall he lye founder'd?
If thou do'st this, thou art but a cast-away Cobler:
My anger's up, think wisely, and think quickly,
And look upon the quondam beast of pleasure,
If thou dost this (mark me, thou serious Sowter)
Thou Bench-whistler of the old tribe of toe-pieces,
If thou dost this, there shall be no more shooe-mending,
Every man shall have a special care of his own soul:
And in his pocket carry his two Confessors,
His Yugel, and his Nawl: if thou dost this—
'Twas the fore-running sin brought in those Tilt-staves,
They brandish 'gainst the Church, the devil calls May-poles.
And girth him handsomely, good neighbor Bomby.
Thou out of tune, Psalm-singing slave; spit in his visnomy?
Against this Beast: that signify'd destruction.
Fore-shew'd i'th' falls of Monarchies.
Spit such another spit by this hand Cobler
I'll make ye set a new piece o' your nose there,
Tak't up I say, and dance without more bidding,
And dance as you were wont: you have been excellent
And art still, but for this new nicity,
And your wives learned Lectures: take up the Hobby-horse
Come, 'tis a thing thou hast lov'd with all thy heart Bomby,
And would'st do still but for the round-breech'd brothers:
You were not thus in the morning: tak't up I say,
Do not delay but do it: you know I am officer;
And I know 'tis unfit all these good fellows
Should wait the cooling of your zealous porridge;
Chuse whether you will dance, or have me execute:
I'll clap your neck i' th' stocks, and th[e]re I'll make ye
Dance a whole day, and dance with these at night too,
You mend old shooes well, mend your old manners better,
And suddenly see you leave off this sincereness.
This new hot Batch, borrowed from some brown Baker,
Some learned brother, or I'll so bait ye for't,
Take it quickly up.
And thus I am forc'd a by-word to my brethren.
Now to the harvest feast: then sport again boyes. [Exeunt.
Scæna Secunda.
Enter Silvio, arm'd.
Or thrust my self into the head o' th' Battel?
And there like that I am, a Gentleman,
And one that never fear'd the face of danger,
(So in her angry eyes s[h]e carried honor)
Fight nobly, and (to end my cares) die nobly?
Song within.
To noble ends; fling course base thoughts behind:
Silvio, thou Son of everliving fame,
Now aim at virtue, and a Noble Name.
Silvio consider, Honor is not won,
Nor virtue reach'd, till some brave thing be done:
Thy Countrey calls thee now; she burns, and bleeds,
Now raise thy self, young man, to noble deeds.
Into the battel Silvio, there seek forth
Danger, and blood, by them stands sacred worth.
This is the second time 't has waited on me,
Since I was arm'd, and ready for the battel;
It names me often, steels my heart with courage.
Enter Belvidere deformed.
What Beldam's this? how old she is, and ugly,
Why does she follow me?
I wait upon thee for thy good, and honor,
'Twas I that now sung to thee, stirr'd thy mind up,
And rais'd thy spirits to the pitch of nobleness.
Her voice is like the harmony of Angels.
The Son of virtue, therefore I attend thee;
Enquire not what I am, I come to serve thee,
For if thou be'st inquisitive, thou hast lost me:
A thousand long miles hence my dwelling is,
Deep in a Cave, where but mine own, no foot treads,
There by mine Art, I found what danger (Silvio)
And deep distress of heart, thou wert grown into,
A thousand Leagues I have cut through empty air,
Far swifter than the sayling rack that gallops
Upon the wings of angry winds, to seek thee.
Sometimes o'er a swelling tide, on a Dolphins back I ride,
Sometimes pass the earth below, and through the unmoved Center go;
Sometimes in a flame of fire, like a Meteor I aspire,
Sometimes in mine own shape, thus, when I help the virtuous,
Men of honourable minds, command my Art in all his kinds;
Pursue the noble thought of War, from thy Guard I'll not be far,
Get thee worship on thy foe, lasting Fame is gotten so.
Single Syennas Duke alone, hear thy friends, thy Countrey groan,
And with thy manly arm strike sure, then thou hast wrought thine own free cure.
And lends her their free powers, to work their wonders?
How she incites my courage!
I knew thee many daies ago,
Foresaw thy love to Belvidere, the Dutchess daughter, and her Heir;
Knew she lov'd thee, and know what past; when you were found i' th' Castle fast
In one anothers arms; forsaw the taking of ye and the Law
And so thy innocence I loved, the deepest of my skill I proved;
Be rul'd by me, for to this hour, I have dwelt about thee with my power.
For thou art sure an Angel [good] sent to me.
When thou grow'st weary I'll be near, then think on beauteous Belvidere,
For every precious thought of her, I'll lend thine honor a new spurre;
When all is done, meet here at night; Go and be happy in the fight.
[Exit.
And that I'll bravely reach at too, or die. [Exeunt.
Scæna Tertia.
Enter Claudio, and Penurio.
As mad as ever unworm'd dog was, Signior,
And does so weep, and curse, for your prevention,
Your crosses in your love; it frets me too,
I am fall'n away to nothing, to a spindle,
Grown a meer man of mat, no soul within me,
Pox o' my Master, Sir, will that content ye?
Upon my life there are some other gamesters,
Nearer the wind than I, and that prevents me,
Is there no other holds acquaintance with her?
Prethee be true, be honest, do not mock me,
Thou knowest her heart, no former interest
She has vow'd a favour too? and cannot handsomely
Go off, but by regaining such a friendship?
There are a thousand handsome men, young, wealthy,
That will not stick at any rate, nor danger,
To gain so sweet a prize; nor can I blame her,
If where she finds a comfort, she deal cunningly,
I am a stranger yet.
And if there be any other, she neglects all,
And all for you: I would you saw how grievously
And with what hourly lamentations.
Look here, look well, the best meat in the Dukedom,
The rarest, and the choicest of all Diets,
Th[is] will I give thee, but to satisfie me;
That is, not to dissemble; this rare Lobster,
This Pheasant of the Sea, this dish for Princes,
And all this thou shalt enjoy, eat all thy self,
Have good Greek Wine, or any thing belongs to it,
A wench, if it desire one.
The cozening knave, besides the loss of this,
In which thou hast parted with a paradise,
I ne'er will give thee meat more, not a morsel,
No smell of meat by my means shall come near thee,
Nor name of any thing that's nourishing,
But to thy old part Tantalus again,
Thou shalt return, and there snap at a shadow.
Or any thing might call my life in question,
Follow'd with all the tortures time could think on,
Give me but time to eat this lovely Lobster,
This Alderman o'th' Sea, and give me Wine to him,
I would reveal all, and if that all were too little,
More than I knew; Bartello holds in with her,
The Captain of the Cittadel, but you need not fear him,
His tongue's the stiffest weapon that he carries.
He is old, and out of use; there are some other,
Men, young enough, handsome, and bold enough,
Could they come but to make their game once, but they want Sir,
They want the unde quare, they are laid by then.
Enter Bartello.
You shall hear further from me, steal aside, Sir.
I fear he trades my way too, you dryed dog-fish,
What bait was that?
A notable young whelp.
An Asse, a Coxcomb, h'as nothing in's house Sir;
I warrant you think he came to see my Mistriss?
He has not the face to look upon a Gentlewoman,
A poor skim'd thing, his Mothers maids are fain, Sir
To teach him how to kiss, and against he is married,
To shew him on which side the stirrop stands.
Thou empty Potgun.
My Master's now abroad about his business.
My wife was jealous, that she whispered to thee.
She talk'd about some toyes my Master must bring to her,
You must not know of.
This is the bravest Capitano Pompo.
Enter Isabella.