Your modesty a top of all your virtues. [Exit Wit.
This Gentleman may pleasure me yet agen;
I am so haunted with this broad-brim'd hat,
Of the last progress block, with the young hat-band,
Made for a sucking Devil of two years old,
I know not where to turn my self.
This Gentleman may pleasure me yet agen;
I am so haunted with this broad-brim'd hat,
Of the last progress block, with the young hat-band,
Made for a sucking Devil of two years old,
I know not where to turn my self.
Mir. Sir?
Cun. More torture?
Mir. 'Tis rumor'd that you love me.
Cun. A my troth Gentlewoman,
Rumor's as false a knave as ever pist then,
Pray tell him so from me; I cannot fain
With a sweet Gentlewoman, I must deal down right.
Rumor's as false a knave as ever pist then,
Pray tell him so from me; I cannot fain
With a sweet Gentlewoman, I must deal down right.
Mir. I heard, though you dissembled with my Aunt, Sir,
And that makes me more confident.
And that makes me more confident.
Cun. There's no falshood,
But payes us our own some way, I confess
I Fain'd with her, 'twas for a weightier purpose,
But not with thee, I swear.
But payes us our own some way, I confess
I Fain'd with her, 'twas for a weightier purpose,
But not with thee, I swear.
Mir. Nor I with you then,
Although my Aunt enjoyn'd me to dissemble,
To right her splene, I love you faithfully.
Although my Aunt enjoyn'd me to dissemble,
To right her splene, I love you faithfully.
Cun. Light, this is worse than 'twas.
Mir. I find such worth in you,
I cannot, nay I dare not dally with you,
For fear the flame consume me.
I cannot, nay I dare not dally with you,
For fear the flame consume me.
Cun. Here's fresh trouble,
This drives me to my conscience, for 'tis foul
To injure one that deals directly with me.
This drives me to my conscience, for 'tis foul
To injure one that deals directly with me.
Mir. I crave but such a truth from your love, Sir,
As mine brings you, and that's proportionable.
As mine brings you, and that's proportionable.
Cun. A good Geometrician, 'shrew my heart;
Why are you out o'your wits, pretty plump Gentlewoman,
You talk so desperately? 'tis a great happiness,
Love has made one on's wiser than another,
We should be both cast away else;
Yet I love gratitude, I must requite you,
I shall be sick else, but to give you me,
A thing you must not take, if you mean to live,
For a' my troth I hardly can my self;
No wise Physitian will prescribe me for you.
Alass, your state is weak, you had need of Cordials,
Some rich Electuary, made of a Son an Heir,
An elder brother, in a Cullisse, whole,
'Tmust be some wealthy Gregory, boyl'd to a Jelly,
That must restore you to the state of new Gowns,
French Ruffs, and mutable head-tires.
Why are you out o'your wits, pretty plump Gentlewoman,
You talk so desperately? 'tis a great happiness,
Love has made one on's wiser than another,
We should be both cast away else;
Yet I love gratitude, I must requite you,
I shall be sick else, but to give you me,
A thing you must not take, if you mean to live,
For a' my troth I hardly can my self;
No wise Physitian will prescribe me for you.
Alass, your state is weak, you had need of Cordials,
Some rich Electuary, made of a Son an Heir,
An elder brother, in a Cullisse, whole,
'Tmust be some wealthy Gregory, boyl'd to a Jelly,
That must restore you to the state of new Gowns,
French Ruffs, and mutable head-tires.
Mir. But, Where is he, Sir?
One that's so rich will ne'er wed me with nothing.
One that's so rich will ne'er wed me with nothing.
Cun. Then see thy Conscience, and thy wit together,
Would'st thou have me then, that has nothing neither?
What say you to Fop Gregory the first, yonder?
Will you acknowledge your time amply recompenc'd?
Full satisfaction upon loves record?
Without any more suit, if I combine you?
Would'st thou have me then, that has nothing neither?
What say you to Fop Gregory the first, yonder?
Will you acknowledge your time amply recompenc'd?
Full satisfaction upon loves record?
Without any more suit, if I combine you?
Cun. You're a wise Clyent,
To pay your fee before-hand, but all do so,
You know the worst already, that's the best too.
To pay your fee before-hand, but all do so,
You know the worst already, that's the best too.
Mir. I know he's a fool.
Cun. You'r shrewdly hurt then;
This is your comfort, your great wisest Women
Pick their first Husband still out of that house,
And some will have 'em to chuse, if they bury twenty.
This is your comfort, your great wisest Women
Pick their first Husband still out of that house,
And some will have 'em to chuse, if they bury twenty.
Mir. I'm of their minds, that like him for a [first] Husband,
To run youths race with [him], 'tis very pleasant,
But when I'm old, I'd alwayes wish for a wiser.
To run youths race with [him], 'tis very pleasant,
But when I'm old, I'd alwayes wish for a wiser.
Cun. You may have me by that time:
For this first business,
Rest upon my performance.
For this first business,
Rest upon my performance.
Mir. With all thankfulness.
Cun. I have a project you must aid me in too.
Mir. You bind me to all lawful action, Sir.
Cun. Pray wear this Scarf about you.
Mir. I conjecture now—
Cun. There's a Court Principle for't, one office must help another;
As for example, for your cast o' Manchits out o'th' Pantry,
I'll allow you a Goose out o'th' Kitchin.
As for example, for your cast o' Manchits out o'th' Pantry,
I'll allow you a Goose out o'th' Kitchin.
Mir. 'Tis very sociably done, Sir, farewel performance,
I shall be bold to call you so.
I shall be bold to call you so.
Cun. Do, sweet confidence,
Enter Sir Gregory.
If I can match my two broad brim'd hats;
'Tis he, I know the Maggot by his head;
Now shall I learn newes of him, my precious chief.
'Tis he, I know the Maggot by his head;
Now shall I learn newes of him, my precious chief.
Sir Greg. I have been seeking for you i'th' bowling-Green,
Enquir'd at Nettletons, and Anthonies Ordinary,
T'ha's vext me to the heart, look, I've a Diamond here,
And it cannot find a Master.
Enquir'd at Nettletons, and Anthonies Ordinary,
T'ha's vext me to the heart, look, I've a Diamond here,
And it cannot find a Master.
Cun. No? That's hard y'faith.
Sir Greg. It does belong to some body, a —— on him,
I would he had it, do's but trouble me,
And she that sent it, is so waspish too,
There's no returning to her till't be gone.
I would he had it, do's but trouble me,
And she that sent it, is so waspish too,
There's no returning to her till't be gone.
Sir Greg. What's that friend?
Cun. Do you note that corner sparkle?
Sir Greg. Which? which? which Sir?
Cun. At the West end o'th' Coller.
Sir Greg. Oh I see't now.
Cun. 'Tis an apparent mark; this is the stone, Sir,
That so much blood is threatned to be shed for.
That so much blood is threatned to be shed for.
Sir Greg. I pray.
Cun. A tun at least.
Sir Greg. They must not find't i'me then, they must
Goe where 'tis to be had.
Goe where 'tis to be had.
Cun. 'Tis well it came to my hands first, Sir Gregory,
I know where this must go.
I know where this must go.
Sir Greg. Am I discharg'd on't?
Cun. My life for yours now. [Draws.
Sir Greg. What now?
Cun. 'Tis discretion, Sir,
I'll stand upon my Guard all the while I ha't.
I'll stand upon my Guard all the while I ha't.
Sir Greg. 'Troth thou tak'st too much danger on thee still,
To preserve me alive.
To preserve me alive.
Cun. 'Tis a friends duty, Sir,
Nay, by a toy that I have late thought upon,
I'll u[n]dertake to get your Mistriss for you.
Nay, by a toy that I have late thought upon,
I'll u[n]dertake to get your Mistriss for you.
Sir Greg. Thou wilt not? Wilt?
Cun. Contract her by a trick, Sir,
When she least thinks on't.
When she least thinks on't.
Sir Greg. There's the right way to't,
For if she think on't once, shee'l never do't.
For if she think on't once, shee'l never do't.
Cun. She does abuse you still then?
Sir Greg. A——damnably,
Every time worse than other; yet her Uncle
Thinks the day holds a Tuesday; say it did, Sir,
She's so familiarly us'd to call me Rascal,
She'll quite forget to wed me by my own name,
And then that Marriage cannot hold in Law, you know.
Every time worse than other; yet her Uncle
Thinks the day holds a Tuesday; say it did, Sir,
She's so familiarly us'd to call me Rascal,
She'll quite forget to wed me by my own name,
And then that Marriage cannot hold in Law, you know.
Cun. Will you leave all to me?
Sir Greg. Who should I leave it to?
Cun. 'Tis our luck to love Neeces; I love a Neece too.
Sir Greg. I would you did y'faith.
Sir Greg. I marry Sir, I would mine were so too.
Cun. No rascal comes in her mouth.
Sir Greg. Troth, and mine has little else in hers.
Cun. Mine sends me tokens,
All the World knows not on.
All the World knows not on.
Sir Greg. Mine gives me tokens too, very fine tokens,
But I dare not wear 'em.
But I dare not wear 'em.
Cun. Mine's kind in secret.
Sir Greg. And there mine's a hell-cat.
Cun. We have a day set too.
Sir Greg. 'Slid, so have we man,
But there's no sign of ever coming together.
But there's no sign of ever coming together.
Cun. I'll tell thee who 'tis, the old womans Neece.
Sir Greg. Is't she?
Cun. I would your luck had been no worse for mildness;
But mum, no more words on't to your Lady.
But mum, no more words on't to your Lady.
Sir Greg. Foh!
Cun. No blabbing, as you love me.
Sir Greg. None of our blood
Were ever bablers.
Were ever bablers.
Cun. Prethee convey this Letter to her,
But at any hand let not your Mistriss see't.
But at any hand let not your Mistriss see't.
Sir Greg. Yet agen Sir?
Cun. There's a Jewel in't,
The very art would make her doat upon't.
The very art would make her doat upon't.
Sir Greg. Say you so?
And she shall see't for that trick only.
And she shall see't for that trick only.
Cun. Remember but your Mistriss, and all's well.
Sir Greg. Nay, if I do not, hang me. [Exit.
Cun. I believe you;
This is the onely way to return a token,
I know he will do't now, 'cause he's charg'd to'th' contrary.
He's the nearest kin to a Woman, of a thing
Made without substance, that a man can find agen,
Some Petticoat begot him, I'll be whipt else,
Engendring with an old pair of paund hose,
Lying in some hot chamber o'er the Kitchin:
Very steame bred him,
He never came where Rem in Re e'er grew;
The generation of a hundred such
Cannot make a man stand in a white sheet,
For 'tis no act in Law, nor can a Constable
Pick out a bawdy business for Bridewell in't;
This is the onely way to return a token,
I know he will do't now, 'cause he's charg'd to'th' contrary.
He's the nearest kin to a Woman, of a thing
Made without substance, that a man can find agen,
Some Petticoat begot him, I'll be whipt else,
Engendring with an old pair of paund hose,
Lying in some hot chamber o'er the Kitchin:
Very steame bred him,
He never came where Rem in Re e'er grew;
The generation of a hundred such
Cannot make a man stand in a white sheet,
For 'tis no act in Law, nor can a Constable
Pick out a bawdy business for Bridewell in't;
Enter Clown (as a Gallant.)
A lamentable case, he's got with a Mans Urine, like a Mandrake.
How now? hah? What prodigious bravery's this?
A most preposterous Gallant, the Doublet sits
As if it mock't the breeches.
How now? hah? What prodigious bravery's this?
A most preposterous Gallant, the Doublet sits
As if it mock't the breeches.
Clow. Save you, Sir.
Cun. H'as put his tongue in the fine suit of words too.
Clow. How does the party?
Cun. Takes me for a Scrivener. Which of the parties?
Clow. Hum, simplicity betide thee—
I would fain hear of the party; I would be loath to go
Farther with her; honor is not a thing to be dallied withall,
No more is reputation, no nor fame, I take it, I must not
Have her wrong'd when I'm abroad; my party is not
To be compell'd with any party in an oblique way;
'Tis very dangerous to deal with Women;
May prove a Lady too, but shall be nameless,
I'll bite my tongue out, e'er it prove a Traitor.
I would fain hear of the party; I would be loath to go
Farther with her; honor is not a thing to be dallied withall,
No more is reputation, no nor fame, I take it, I must not
Have her wrong'd when I'm abroad; my party is not
To be compell'd with any party in an oblique way;
'Tis very dangerous to deal with Women;
May prove a Lady too, but shall be nameless,
I'll bite my tongue out, e'er it prove a Traitor.
Cun. Upon my life I know her.
Clow. Not by me,
Know what you can, talk a whole day with me,
Y'are ne'er the wiser, she comes not from these lips.
Know what you can, talk a whole day with me,
Y'are ne'er the wiser, she comes not from these lips.
Cun. The old Knights Neece.
Clow. 'Slid he has got her, pox of his heart that told him,
Can nothing be kept secret? let me entreat you
To use her name as little as you can, though.
Can nothing be kept secret? let me entreat you
To use her name as little as you can, though.
Cun. 'Twill be small pleasure, Sir, to use her name.
Clow. I had intelligence in my solemn walks,
'Twixt Paddington and Pancridge, of a Scarfe,
Sent for a token, and a Jewel follow'd,
But I acknowledge not the receipt of any,
How e'er 'tis carried, believe me, Sir,
Upon my reputation I receiv'd none.
'Twixt Paddington and Pancridge, of a Scarfe,
Sent for a token, and a Jewel follow'd,
But I acknowledge not the receipt of any,
How e'er 'tis carried, believe me, Sir,
Upon my reputation I receiv'd none.
Cun. What, neither Scarfe nor Jewel?
Clow. 'Twould be seen
Some where about me, you may well think that,
I have an arme for a Scarfe, as others have,
An Ear, to hang a Jewel too, and that's more
Then some men have, my betters a great deal,
I must have restitution, where e'er it lights.
Some where about me, you may well think that,
I have an arme for a Scarfe, as others have,
An Ear, to hang a Jewel too, and that's more
Then some men have, my betters a great deal,
I must have restitution, where e'er it lights.
Cun. And reason good.
Clow. For all these tokens, Sir,
Pass i' my name.
Pass i' my name.
Cun. It cannot otherwise be.
Clow. Sent to a worthy friend.
Cun. I, that's to thee.
Clow. I'm wrong'd under that title.
Cun. I dare sware thou art,
'Tis nothing but Sir Gregories circumvention,
His envious spite, when thou'rt at Paddington,
He meets the gifts at Pancridge.
'Tis nothing but Sir Gregories circumvention,
His envious spite, when thou'rt at Paddington,
He meets the gifts at Pancridge.
Clow. Ah false Knight?
False both to honor, and the Law of Arms?
False both to honor, and the Law of Arms?
Cun. What wilt thou say if I be reveng'd for thee?
Thou sit as Witness?
Thou sit as Witness?
Clow. I should laugh in state then.
Cun. I'll fob him, here's my hand.
Clow. I shall be as glad as any Man alive, to see him well fob'd, Sir; but now you talk of fobbing, I wonder the Lady sends not for me according to promise? I ha' kept out o' Town these two dayes, a purpose to be sent for; I am almost starv'd with walking.
Cun. Walking gets men a stomach.
Clow. 'Tis most true, Sir, I may speak it by experience, for I ha' got a stomach six times, and lost it agen, as often as a traveller from Chelsy shall lose the sight of Pauls, and get it agen.
Cun. Go to her, Man.
Clow. Not for a Million, enfringe my oath? there's a toy call'd a Vow, has past between us, a poor trifle, Sir; Pray do me the part and office of a Gentleman, if you chance to meet a Footman by the way, in Orange tawny ribbands, running before an empty Coach, with a Buzard i'th' Poop on't, direct him and his horses toward the new River by Islington, there they shall have me looking upon the Pipes, and whistling.
[Exit Clow.
Cun. A very good note; this love makes us all Monkeyes, But to my work: 'Scarfe first? and now a Diamond? these should be sure signs of her affections truth; Yet I'll go forward with my surer proof: [Exit.
Enter Neece, and Sir Gregory.
Neece. Is't possible?
Sir Greg. Nay, here's his Letter too, there's a fine Jewel in't,
Therefore I brought it to you.
Therefore I brought it to you.
Neece. You tedious Mongril! Is't not enough
To grace thee, to receive this from thy hand,
A thing which makes me almost sick to do,
But you must talk too?
To grace thee, to receive this from thy hand,
A thing which makes me almost sick to do,
But you must talk too?
Sir Greg. I ha' done.
Neece. Fall back,
Yet backer, backer yet, you unmannerly puppy,
Do you not see I'm going about to read it?
Yet backer, backer yet, you unmannerly puppy,
Do you not see I'm going about to read it?
Sir Greg. Nay, these are golden dayes, now I stay by't,
She was wont not to endure me in her sight at all,
The World mends, I see that.
She was wont not to endure me in her sight at all,
The World mends, I see that.
Neece. What an ambiguous Superscription's here!
To the best of Neeces. Why that title may be mine,
And more than her's:
Sure I much wrong the neatness of his art;
'Tis certain sent to me, and to requite
My cunning in the carriage of my Tokens,
Us'd the same Fop for his.
To the best of Neeces. Why that title may be mine,
And more than her's:
Sure I much wrong the neatness of his art;
'Tis certain sent to me, and to requite
My cunning in the carriage of my Tokens,
Us'd the same Fop for his.
Sir Greg. She nodded now to me, 'twill come in time.
Neece. What's here? an entire Rubye, cut into a heart,
And this the word, Istud Amoris opus?
And this the word, Istud Amoris opus?
Sir Greg. Yes, yes, I have heard him say, that love is the best stone-cutter.
Neece. Why thou sawcy issue of some travelling Sow-gelder,
What makes love in thy mouth? Is it a thing
That ever will concern thee? I do wonder
How thou dar'st think on't! hast thou ever hope
To come i' the same roome where lovers are;
And scape unbrain'd with one of their velvet slippers?
What makes love in thy mouth? Is it a thing
That ever will concern thee? I do wonder
How thou dar'st think on't! hast thou ever hope
To come i' the same roome where lovers are;
And scape unbrain'd with one of their velvet slippers?
Neece. Is it possible thou canst laugh yet?
I would ha' undertook to ha' kill'd a spider
With less venome far, than I have spit at thee.
I would ha' undertook to ha' kill'd a spider
With less venome far, than I have spit at thee.
Sir Greg. You must conceive,
A Knight's another manner a piece of flesh.
A Knight's another manner a piece of flesh.
Neece. Back, Owles-face.
Within. O. K. Do, do.
Neece. 'Tis my Unckles voice, that.
Why keep you so far off, Sir Gregory?
Are you afraid, Sir, to come near your Mistriss?
Why keep you so far off, Sir Gregory?
Are you afraid, Sir, to come near your Mistriss?
Sir Greg. Is the proud heart come down? I lookt for this still.
Neece. He comes not this way yet: Away, you dog-whelp,
Would you offer to come near me, though I said so?
I'll make you understand my mind in time;
[Your running] greedily, like a hound to his breakfast,
That chops in head and all to beguile his fellows;
I'm to be eaten, Sir, with Grace and leisure,
Behaviour and discourse, things that ne'er trouble you;
After I have pelted you sufficiently,
I tro you will learn more manners.
Would you offer to come near me, though I said so?
I'll make you understand my mind in time;
[Your running] greedily, like a hound to his breakfast,
That chops in head and all to beguile his fellows;
I'm to be eaten, Sir, with Grace and leisure,
Behaviour and discourse, things that ne'er trouble you;
After I have pelted you sufficiently,
I tro you will learn more manners.
Sir Greg. I'm wondring still when we two shall come together?
Tuesday's at hand, but I'm as far off, as I was at first, I swear.
Tuesday's at hand, but I'm as far off, as I was at first, I swear.
Enter Gardianess.
Gard. Now Cuningame, I'll be reveng'd at large:
Lady, what was but all this while suspition,
Is truth, full blown now, my Neece wears your Scarfe.
Lady, what was but all this while suspition,
Is truth, full blown now, my Neece wears your Scarfe.
Neece. Hah?
Gard. Do but follow me, I'll place you instantly
Where you shall see her courted by Cuningame.
Where you shall see her courted by Cuningame.
Neece. I go with greediness; we long for things
That break our hearts sometimes, there's pleasures misery,
That break our hearts sometimes, there's pleasures misery,
[Exeunt Neece and Gard.
Sir Greg. Where are those gad-flies going? to some Junket now;
That some old bumble-bee toles the young one forth
To sweet meats after kind, let 'em look to't,
The thing you wot on be not mist or gone,
I bring a Maiden-head, and I look for one.
Which is only a Puppet so drest. [Exit.
That some old bumble-bee toles the young one forth
To sweet meats after kind, let 'em look to't,
The thing you wot on be not mist or gone,
I bring a Maiden-head, and I look for one.
Which is only a Puppet so drest. [Exit.
Enter Cunningame (in discourse with a Mask't Gentlewoman in a broad hat, and scarf'd,) Neece at another door.
Cun. Yes, yes.
Neece. Too manifest now, the Scarfe and all.
Cun. It cannot be, you're such a fearful soul.
Neece. I'll give her cause of fear e'er I part from her.
Cun. Will you say so? Is't not your Aunts desire too?
Neece. What a dissembling croane's that! she'l forswear't now.
Cun. I see my project takes, yonder's the grace on't.
Neece. Who would put confidence in wit again,
I'm plagu'd for my ambition, to desire
A wise Man for a husband, and I see
Fate will not have us go beyond our stint,
We are allow'd but one dish, and that's Woodcock,
It keeps up wit to make us friends and servants of,
And thinks any thing's good enough to make us husbands;
Oh that Whores hat o' thine, o' the riding block,
A shade for lecherous kisses.
I'm plagu'd for my ambition, to desire
A wise Man for a husband, and I see
Fate will not have us go beyond our stint,
We are allow'd but one dish, and that's Woodcock,
It keeps up wit to make us friends and servants of,
And thinks any thing's good enough to make us husbands;
Oh that Whores hat o' thine, o' the riding block,
A shade for lecherous kisses.
Cun. Make you doubt on't?
Is not my love of force?
Is not my love of force?
Neece. Yes, me it forces
To tear that sorcerous strumpet from th' imbraces.
To tear that sorcerous strumpet from th' imbraces.
Cun. Lady?
Neece. Oh thou hast wrong'd the exquisit'st love—
Cun. What mean you, Lady?
Neece. Mine, you'l answer for't.
Cun. Alas, What seek you?
Neece. Sir, mine own with loss.
Cun. You shall.
Neece. I never made so hard a bargain.
Cun. Sweet Lady?
Neece. Unjust man, let my wrath reach her,
As you owe virtue duty; [Cun. falls on purpose.
Your cause trips you,
Now Minion, you shall feel what loves rage is,
Before you taste the pleasure; smile you false, Sir?
As you owe virtue duty; [Cun. falls on purpose.
Your cause trips you,
Now Minion, you shall feel what loves rage is,
Before you taste the pleasure; smile you false, Sir?
Cun. How can I chuse? to see what pains you take,
Upon a thing will never thank you for't.
Upon a thing will never thank you for't.
Cun. See what things you women be, Lady,
When cloaths are taken for the best part of you?
This was to show you, when you think I love you not,
How y'are deceiv'd still, there the Moral lies,
'Twas a trap set to catch you, and the only bait
To take a Lady nibling, is fine clothes;
Now I dare boldly thank you for your love,
I'm pretty well resolv'd in't by this fit,
For a jealous ague alwayes ushers it.
When cloaths are taken for the best part of you?
This was to show you, when you think I love you not,
How y'are deceiv'd still, there the Moral lies,
'Twas a trap set to catch you, and the only bait
To take a Lady nibling, is fine clothes;
Now I dare boldly thank you for your love,
I'm pretty well resolv'd in't by this fit,
For a jealous ague alwayes ushers it.
Neece. Now blessings still maintain this wit of thine,
And I have an excellent fortune coming in thee,
Bring nothing else I charge thee.
And I have an excellent fortune coming in thee,
Bring nothing else I charge thee.
Cun. Not a groat I warrant ye.
Neece. Thou shalt be worthily welcome, take my faith for't,
Next opportunity shall make us.
Next opportunity shall make us.
Cu[n]. The old Gentlewoman has fool'd her revenge sweetly.
Neece. 'Lass, 'tis her part, she knows her place so well yonder;
Alwayes when Women jumpe upon threescore,
Love shoves e'm from the chamber to the door.
Alwayes when Women jumpe upon threescore,
Love shoves e'm from the chamber to the door.
Cun. Thou art a precious she-wit. [Exeunt.
Actus Quintus. Scæna Prima.
Enter Cunningame (at one door) Witty-Pate, Ruinous, L. Ruinous, and Priscian (at the other.)
Cun.
Friend, met in the harvest of our designs,
Not a thought but's busie.
Friend, met in the harvest of our designs,
Not a thought but's busie.
Wit. I knew it Man,
And that made me provide these needful Reapers,
Hooks, Rakers, Gleaners; we'll sing it home
With a melodious Horne-pipe; this is the Bond,
That as we further in your great affair,
You'l suffer us to glean, pick up for crums,
And if we snatch a handful from the sheaf,
You will not look a churle on's.
And that made me provide these needful Reapers,
Hooks, Rakers, Gleaners; we'll sing it home
With a melodious Horne-pipe; this is the Bond,
That as we further in your great affair,
You'l suffer us to glean, pick up for crums,
And if we snatch a handful from the sheaf,
You will not look a churle on's.
Cun. Friend, we'll share
The sheaves of gold, only the Love Aker
Shall be peculiar.
The sheaves of gold, only the Love Aker
Shall be peculiar.
Wit. Much good do you, Sir,
Away, you know your way, and your stay; get you
The Musick ready, while we prepare the dancers.
Away, you know your way, and your stay; get you
The Musick ready, while we prepare the dancers.
Ruin. We are a consort of our selves.
Pris. And can strike up lustily.
Wit. You must bring Sir Fop.
Cun. That's perfect enough.
Ruin. Bring all the Fops you can, the more, the better fare
So the proverb runs backwards. [Exeunt Ruin. and Pris.
So the proverb runs backwards. [Exeunt Ruin. and Pris.
L. Ruin. I'll bring the Ladies. [Exit.
Wit. Do so first, and then the Fops will follow;
I must to my Father, he must make one. [Exit.
I must to my Father, he must make one. [Exit.
Enter two Servants with a Banquet.
Cun. While I dispatch a business with the Knight,
And I go with you. Well sed, I thank you,
This small Banquet will furnish our few Guests
With taste and state enough; one reach my Gown.
The action craves it rather than the weather.
And I go with you. Well sed, I thank you,
This small Banquet will furnish our few Guests
With taste and state enough; one reach my Gown.
The action craves it rather than the weather.
1 Serv. There's one stayes to speak with you, Sir.
Cun. What is he?
1 Serv. Faith I know not what, Sir, a Fool, I think,
That some Brokers shop has made half a Gentleman;
Has the name of a Worthy too.
That some Brokers shop has made half a Gentleman;
Has the name of a Worthy too.
Cun. Pompey? Is't not?
1 Ser. That's he, Sir.
Cun. Alas, poor fellow, prethee enter him, he will need too.
Enter second Servant with a Gown.
He shall serve for a Witness. Oh Gramercy:
If my friend Sir Gregory comes, you know him,
If my friend Sir Gregory comes, you know him,
Enter Clown.
Entertain him kindly. Oh Master Pompey, How is't man?
Clow. 'Snails, I'm almost starv'd with Love, and cold, and one thing or other;
Has not my Lady sent for me yet?
Has not my Lady sent for me yet?
Cun. Not that I hear, sure some unfriendly Messenger
Is imploy'd betwixt you.
Is imploy'd betwixt you.
Clow. I was ne'er so cold in my life, in my Conscience I have been seven mile in length, along the New River; I have seen a hundred stickle bags; I do not think but there's gudgeons too; 'twill ne'er be a true water.
Cun. Why think you so?
Clow. I warrant you, I told a thousand Millers thumbs in it, I'll make a little bold with your Sweet-meats.
Cun. And welcome Pompey.
Clow. 'Tis a strange thing, I have no taste in any thing.
Cun. Oh, that's Love, that distasts any thing but it self.
Clow. 'Tis worse than Cheese in that point, may not a Man break his word with a Lady? I could find in my heart and my hose too.
Cun. By no means, Sir, that breaks all the Laws of Love.
Clow. Well, I'll ne'er pass my word without my deed to
A Lady, while I live agen, I would fain recover my taste.
A Lady, while I live agen, I would fain recover my taste.
Cun. Well, I have news to tell you.
Clow. Good news, Sir?
Cun. Happy news, I help you away with a Rival your Master bestow'd.
Clow. Where, for this Plumbs sake—
Cun. Nay, listen me.
Clow. I warrant you, Sir, I have two ears to one mouth,
I hear more than I eat, I'de ne'er row by Queen Hive
While I liv'd else.
I hear more than I eat, I'de ne'er row by Queen Hive
While I liv'd else.
Cun. I have a Wife for him, and thou shalt witness the Contract.
Clow. The old one I hope, 'tis not the Lady?
Cun. Choak him first, 'tis one which thou shalt see,
See him, see him deceiv'd, see the deceit, only
The injunction is, you shall smile with modesty.
See him, see him deceiv'd, see the deceit, only
The injunction is, you shall smile with modesty.
Clow. I'll simper I'faith, as cold as I am yet, the old one
I hope.
I hope.
Enter Servant.
Serv. Sir, here's Sir Gregory.
Cun. U'd so, shelter, shelter, if you be seen,
All's ravell'd out again; stand there private,
And you'll find the very opportunity
To call you forth, and place you at the Table.
All's ravell'd out again; stand there private,
And you'll find the very opportunity
To call you forth, and place you at the Table.
Enter Sir Gregory.
You are welcome, Sir, this Banquet will serve,
When it is crown'd with such a dainty as you
Expect, and must have.
When it is crown'd with such a dainty as you
Expect, and must have.
Sir Greg. 'Tush, these sweet-meats are but sauce to that,
Well, if there be any honesty, or true word in a dream,
She's mine own, nay, and chang'd extreamly,
Not the same Woman.
Well, if there be any honesty, or true word in a dream,
She's mine own, nay, and chang'd extreamly,
Not the same Woman.
Cun. Who, not the Lady?
Sir Greg. No, not to me, the edge of her tongue is taken off,
Gives me very good words, turn'd up-side-down to me,
And we live as quietly as two Tortoises, if she hold on,
As she began in my dream. [Soft Musick.
Gives me very good words, turn'd up-side-down to me,
And we live as quietly as two Tortoises, if she hold on,
As she began in my dream. [Soft Musick.
Cun. Nay, if Love send forth such Predictions,
You are bound to believe 'em, there's the watch-word
Of her coming; to your practis'd part now,
If you hit it, Æquus Cupido nobis. [Both go into the Gown.
You are bound to believe 'em, there's the watch-word
Of her coming; to your practis'd part now,
If you hit it, Æquus Cupido nobis. [Both go into the Gown.
Sir Greg. I will warrant you, Sir, I will give armes to
Your Gentry, look you forward to your business,
I am an eye behind you, place her in that Chair,
And let me alone to grope her out.
Your Gentry, look you forward to your business,
I am an eye behind you, place her in that Chair,
And let me alone to grope her out.
Enter Mirabell.
Cun. Silence, Lady, your sweet presence illustrates
This homely roof, and, as course entertainment;
But where affections are both Host and Guest,
They cannot meet unkindly; please you sit,
Your something long stay made me unmannerly,
To place before you, you know this friend here,
He's my Guest, and more especially,
That this our meeting might not be too single,
Without a witness to't.
This homely roof, and, as course entertainment;
But where affections are both Host and Guest,
They cannot meet unkindly; please you sit,
Your something long stay made me unmannerly,
To place before you, you know this friend here,
He's my Guest, and more especially,
That this our meeting might not be too single,
Without a witness to't.
Mirab. I came not unresolv'd, Sir,
And when our hands are clasp'd in that firm faith
Which I expect from you; fame shall be bold
To speak the loudest on't: oh you grasp me
Somewhat too hard friend.
And when our hands are clasp'd in that firm faith
Which I expect from you; fame shall be bold
To speak the loudest on't: oh you grasp me
Somewhat too hard friend.
Cun. That's Love's eager will,
I'll touch it gentlier. [Kisses her hand.
I'll touch it gentlier. [Kisses her hand.
Mirab. That's too low in you,
Less it be doubly recompenc'd in me. [She kisses his hand.
Less it be doubly recompenc'd in me. [She kisses his hand.
Cun. Come, we'll not play and trifle with delayes,
We met to joyn these hands, and willingly
I cannot leave it till confirmation.
We met to joyn these hands, and willingly
I cannot leave it till confirmation.
Mirab. One word first, how does your friend, kind Sir Gregory?
Cun. Why do you mention him? you love him not?
Mir. I shall love you the less if you say so, Sir,
In troth I love him, but 'tis you deceive him,
This flattering hand of yours does rob him now,
Now you steal his right from him, and I know
I shall have hate for't, his hate extreamly.
In troth I love him, but 'tis you deceive him,
This flattering hand of yours does rob him now,
Now you steal his right from him, and I know
I shall have hate for't, his hate extreamly.
Cun. Why I thought you had not come so weakly arm'd,
Upon my life the Knight will love you for't,
Exceedingly love you, for ever love you.
Upon my life the Knight will love you for't,
Exceedingly love you, for ever love you.
Mir. I, you'll perswade me so.
Cun. Why he's my friend,
And wishes me a fortune equal with him,
I know, and dare speak it for him.
And wishes me a fortune equal with him,
I know, and dare speak it for him.
Mir. Oh, this hand betrayes him, you might remember
him in some courtesie yet at least.
him in some courtesie yet at least.
Cun. I thank your help in't, here's to his health
Where e'er he be.
Where e'er he be.
Mir. I'll pledge it, were it against my health.
Clow. Oh, oh, my heart hops after twelve mile a day, upon a good return, now could I walk three hundred mile a foot, and laugh forwards and backwards.
Mir. You'll take the Knights health, Sir.
Clow. Yes, yes forsooth, oh my sides! such a Banquet once a week, would make me grow fat in a fortnight.
Cun. Well, now to close our meeting, with the close
Of mutual hands and hearts, thus I begin,
Here in Heavens eye, and all loves sacred powers,
(Which in my Prayers stand propitious)
I knit this holy hand fast, and with this hand
The heart that owes this hand, ever binding
By force of this initiating Contract
Both heart and hand in love, faith, loyalty,
Estate, or what to them belongs, in all the dues,
Rights and honors of a faithful husband,
And this firm vow, henceforth till death, to stand
Irrevocable, seal'd both with heart and hand.
Of mutual hands and hearts, thus I begin,
Here in Heavens eye, and all loves sacred powers,
(Which in my Prayers stand propitious)
I knit this holy hand fast, and with this hand
The heart that owes this hand, ever binding
By force of this initiating Contract
Both heart and hand in love, faith, loyalty,
Estate, or what to them belongs, in all the dues,
Rights and honors of a faithful husband,
And this firm vow, henceforth till death, to stand
Irrevocable, seal'd both with heart and hand.
Mir. Which thus I second, but oh, Sir Gregory.
Cun. Agen? this interposition's ill, believe me.
Mir. Here, in Heavens eye, and all Loves sacred powers,
I knit this holy hand fast, and with this hand
The heart that owes this hand, ever binding
Both heart and hand in love, honor, loyalty,
Estate, or what to them belongs in all the dues,
Rights, and duties of a true faithful Wife;
And this firm Vow, henceforth till death, to stand,
Irrevocable, seal'd both with heart and hand.
I knit this holy hand fast, and with this hand
The heart that owes this hand, ever binding
Both heart and hand in love, honor, loyalty,
Estate, or what to them belongs in all the dues,
Rights, and duties of a true faithful Wife;
And this firm Vow, henceforth till death, to stand,
Irrevocable, seal'd both with heart and hand.
Sir Greg. A full agreement on both parts.
Cun. I, here's witness of that.
Sir Greg. Nay, I have over-reacht you Lady, and that's much,
For any Knight in England to over-reach a Lady.
For any Knight in England to over-reach a Lady.
Mir. I rejoyce in my deceit, I am a Lady
Now, I thank you, Sir.
Now, I thank you, Sir.
Clow. Good morrow Lady Fop.
Sir Greg. 'Snails, I'm gull'd, made a worshipful ass, this is not my Lady.
Cun. But it is Sir, and true as your dream told you,
That your Lady was become another Woman.
That your Lady was become another Woman.