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Beaver: An Alphabet of Typical Specimens / Together with Notes and a Terminal Essay on the Manners and Customs of Beavering Men cover

Beaver: An Alphabet of Typical Specimens / Together with Notes and a Terminal Essay on the Manners and Customs of Beavering Men

Chapter 11: J. IS A JOO BEAVER.
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About This Book

The work presents a comedic, alphabetized catalogue of facial-hair types, providing playful descriptions, idiosyncratic scoring rules for a fanciful sport of beard-spotting, and regional and stylistic variations; entries combine mock-naturalist observation, historical and literary allusion, and advice on claiming points. A closing essay discusses the manners, customs, and social rituals associated with bearding and the pastime's etiquette.

J.
IS A JOO BEAVER.

These exotics are fairly common, and local sportsmen can be relied upon to flush a few on short notice, provided that they are allowed to choose the beat.

In many ways curiously attractive, the charm of the species is marred by the frequent lack of neatness of plumage; as a race they incline to landscape-gardening with their hirsuteness.

Carefully note their musical cry of “Oy-Yoy ... Oy Yoy.” A specimen in full song, when the moon is full, counts game.

Some experts have a very nice scale—by which they score—of the curvilinear bill. This is a pretty point and a pleasant raffinement, but too subtle for the ordinary week-end player. Of course any unusually fine frontal curve should be claimed and scored as a rarity.