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Beaver: An Alphabet of Typical Specimens / Together with Notes and a Terminal Essay on the Manners and Customs of Beavering Men cover

Beaver: An Alphabet of Typical Specimens / Together with Notes and a Terminal Essay on the Manners and Customs of Beavering Men

Chapter 19: R. IS A RED-KING-BEAVER.
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About This Book

The work presents a comedic, alphabetized catalogue of facial-hair types, providing playful descriptions, idiosyncratic scoring rules for a fanciful sport of beard-spotting, and regional and stylistic variations; entries combine mock-naturalist observation, historical and literary allusion, and advice on claiming points. A closing essay discusses the manners, customs, and social rituals associated with bearding and the pastime's etiquette.

R.
IS A RED-KING-BEAVER.

I feel a very natural emotion on commenting on the sublime specimen of the Red-King, the ultimate hope of every keen collector, which is portrayed on the opposite page. Observed outside “The Goose and Gridiron,” in Slogsby-under-Hill, this noble creature deprived both my companion (an ex-local champion) and myself of speech for three minutes.

Had he been carrying a ladder (the ne-plus-ultra of Beaverhood) we had never recovered from the glory of the revelation.

Red-Kings score “Game, set, match.” A Red-King on a green bicycle, carrying a lanthorn (or lantern), scores do. do. “Local Championship.” A Red-King on a green bicycle carrying a ladder (poor old Pelion!) has never, alas! been reported up to the present.

There are dreams of scoring a Red-King, complete with fitments, on a High Bicycle ... all things are possible, even a ravishment such as that.