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The work presents a comedic, alphabetized catalogue of facial-hair types, providing playful descriptions, idiosyncratic scoring rules for a fanciful sport of beard-spotting, and regional and stylistic variations; entries combine mock-naturalist observation, historical and literary allusion, and advice on claiming points. A closing essay discusses the manners, customs, and social rituals associated with bearding and the pastime's etiquette.
There is no record of a specimen being scored. Probably the last person to do so may have been Jason. The best authorities assume this, adducing as contributory evidence his later, passionate quest of the Golden Fleece. Ourselves we regard it as more likely that Chiron was never scored, Jason being held back by the natural delicacy of one in statu pupillari. In fact, Chiron was, almost certainly, a “local double-fault.”