WeRead Powered by ReaderPub
Briefless Ballads and Legal Lyrics / Second Series cover

Briefless Ballads and Legal Lyrics / Second Series

Chapter 8: Somewhere
Open in WeRead

Explore more books like this:

About This Book

A collection of humorous and satirical verse that blends legal lore with light narrative ballads, mock-court reports, and translations of classical epigrams. Poems dramatize courtroom scenes, parody legal procedure, and juxtapose professional jargon with domestic and leisure vignettes, often using witty legal cases and imaginative conceits. Short lyrical pieces and translations provide classical counterpoints, while occasional comic monologues and ballades vary tone and form. Overall the volume playfully interrogates law, language, and social manners through concise, witty poetic sketches.

The Project Gutenberg eBook of Briefless Ballads and Legal Lyrics

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Briefless Ballads and Legal Lyrics

Author: James Williams

Release date: May 2, 2008 [eBook #25281]
Most recently updated: January 3, 2021

Language: English

Credits: Produced by Bryan Ness, Stephen Blundell and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This
file was produced from images generously made available
by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRIEFLESS BALLADS AND LEGAL LYRICS ***

BRIEFLESS BALLADS


BY THE SAME AUTHOR

SIMPLE STORIES OF LONDON
VERSES SUITABLE FOR RECITATION
Crown 8vo, cloth, price 1s. 6d.
ETHANDUNE
AND OTHER POEMS
Crown 8vo, cloth, price 2s. 6d.

BRIEFLESS BALLADS
AND
LEGAL LYRICS

SECOND SERIES

By JAMES WILLIAMS

"You will think a lawyer has as little business with poetry as he has with justice. Perhaps so. I have been too partial to both."

Thomas Love Peacock, in Melincourt

LONDON
ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK
1895


[All Rights Reserved]

Transcriber's Note: Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note. Hyphenation has been standardised.

CONTENTS

(The First Series was published anonymously in 1881, and is now out of print. Some of the following pieces have already appeared in periodicals.)

PAGE
Justinian at Windermere9
A Vision of Legal Shadows15
The Squire's Daughter21
Her Letter in Chambers25
Law and Poetry27
Somewhere30
Roman Law34
Bologna36
A Garden Party in the Temple37
The Spinning-House of the Future41
How we found our Verdict44
A Greek Libel47
Le Temps Passé50
Lawn Tennis in the Temple Gardens52
A Ballade of Lost Law53
Comœdia Juris56
Cases—
Mylward v. Weldon59
Hampden v. Walsh61
Willis v. The Bishop of Oxford62
Dashwood v. Jermyn66
Ex Parte Jones70
Finlay v. Chirney71
Pollard v. Photographic Company71
The Minneapolis Case73
Commonwealth v. Marzynski77
Translations—
Greek Anthology81
Martial89
Cino da Pistoia92
Pedro Lopez de Ayala94
Piron94

Interioris amat Templi jam Pegasus aulas
Pieria in Medio plenior unda ruit.

Justinian at Windermere

We took a hundredweight of books
To Windermere between us,
Our dons had blessed our studious looks,
Had they by chance but seen us.
Maine, Blackstone, Sandars, all were there,
And Hallam's Middle Ages,
And Austin with his style so rare,
And Poste's enticing pages.
We started well: the little inn
Was deadly dull and quiet,
As dull as Mrs. Wood's East Lynne,
Or as the verse of Wyatt.
Without distraction thus we read
From nine until eleven,
Then rowed and sailed until we fed
On potted char at seven.
Two hours of work! We could devote
Next day to recreation,
Much illness springs, so doctors note,
From lack of relaxation.
Let him read law on summer days,
Who has a soul that grovels;
Better one tale of Thackeray's
Than all Justinian's novels.
At noon we went upon the lake,
We could not stand the slowness
Of our lone inn, so dined on steak
(They called it steak) at Bowness.
We wrestled with the steak, when lo!
Rose Jack in such a hurry,
He saw a girl he used to know
In Suffolk or in Surrey.
What matter which? to think that she
Should lure him from his duty!
For Jack, I knew, would always be
A very slave to beauty.
And so it proved, alas! for Jack
Grew taciturn and thinner,
Was out all day alone, and back
Too often late for dinner.
What could I do? His walks and rows
All led to one conclusion;
I could not read; our work, heaven knows,
Was nothing but confusion.
Like Jack I went about alone,
Saw Wordsworth's writing-table,
And made the higher by a stone
The "man" upon Great Gable.
At last there came a sudden pause
To all his wanderings solus,
He learned what writers on the laws
Of Rome had meant by dolus.
The Suffolk (was it Surrey?) flirt
Without a pang threw over
Poor Jack and all his works like dirt,
And caught a richer lover.
We read one morning more to say
We had not been quite idle,
And then to end the arduous day
Enjoyed a swim in Rydal.
Next day the hundredweight of books
Was packed once more in cases,
We left the lakes and hills and brooks
And southward turned our faces.
Three months, and then the Oxford Schools;
Our unbelieving college
Saw better than ourselves what fools
Pretend sometimes to knowledge.
Curst questions! Jack did only one,
He gave as his opinion
That of the Roman jurists none
Had lived before Justinian.
I answered two, but all I did
Was lacking in discretion,
I reckoned guardianship amid
The vitia of possession.
My second shot was wider still,
I held that commodata
Could not attest a prætor's will
Because of culpa lata.
We waited fruitlessly that night,
There came no blue testamur,[A]
Nor was Jack's heavy heart made light
By that sweet word Amamur.

[A] Since the above was written, the testamur, like many other institutions dear to the old order of Oxford men, has been superseded.


A Vision of Legal Shadows

A case at chambers left for my opinion
Had taxed my brain until the noon of night,
I read old law, and loathed the long dominion
Of fiction over right.
I had consulted Coke and Cruise and Chitty,
The works where ancient learning reigns supreme,
Until exhausted nature, moved with pity,
Sent me a bookman's dream.
Six figures, all gigantic as Gargantua,
Floated before my eyes, and all the six
Were shades like those that once the bard of Mantua
Saw by the shore of Styx.
The first was one with countenance imperious,
His toga dim with centuries of dust;
"My name," quoth he, "is Aulus and Agerius,[B]
My voice is hoarse with rust.
"Yet once I played my part in law proceedings,
And writers wrote of one they never saw,
I gave their point to formulæ and pleadings,
I lived but in the law."
The second had a countenance perfidious;
What wonder? Prætors launched their formulæ
In vain against Numerius Negidius,
And not a whit cared he.
With voice of high contempt he greeted Aulus;
"In interdicts thou wast mine enemy,
Once passed no day that students did not call us
As parties, me and thee.
"On paper I was plaintiff or defendant,
On paper thou wast evermore the same;
We lived apart, a life that was transcendant,
For it was but a name.
"I hate thee, Aulus, hate thee," low he muttered,
"It was by thee that I was always tricked,
My unsubstantial bread I ate unbuttered
In dread of interdict.
"And yet 'twas but the sentiment I hated:
Like thee I ne'er was drunk e'en vi or clam,[C]
With wine that was no wine my thirst was sated.
Like thee I was a sham."
Two country hinds in 'broidered smocks next followed,
Each trundled him a cart-wheel by the spokes,
Oblivion now their names hath well-nigh swallowed,
For they were Stiles and Nokes.
They spake no word, for speech to them was grievous,
With bovine eyes they supplicated me;
"We wot not what ye will, but prithee leave us,
Unlettered folk are we."
"Go," said I, "simple ones, and break your fallows,
Crush autumn apples in the cider press,
Law, gaffer Stiles, thy humble name still hallows,
Contracted to J. S."
Another pair of later time succeeded,
With buckles on their shoes and silken hose,
A garb that told it was to them who heeded
John Doe's and Richard Roe's.
"Ah me! I was a casual ejector,[D]
In the brave days of old," I heard one say;
"I knew Elizabeth, the Lord Protector
I spake with yesterday."
To whom in contradiction snarled the other,
"There was no living blood our veins to fill.
Both you and I were nought but shadows, brother,
And we are shadows still."
Room for a lady, room, as at Megiddo
The hosts made way for passage of the king,
For from the darkness crept there forth a widow
In weeds and wedding ring.
"I am the widow, I, whereof the singers
Of Scotland sang, their cruel words so smote
My tender heart, that ofttimes itched my fingers
To take them by the throat.
"He scoffed at me, dour bachelor of Glasgow,[E]
If I existed not for him, the knave,
'Twas all his fault who let some bonnie lass go
Unwedded to her grave."

[B] Aulus Agerius and Numerius Negidius are names continually occurring in the Roman institutional writers as typical names of parties to legal process, corresponding very much to the John Stiles and John Nokes of the older English law-books, and the Amr and Zaid of Mohammedan law. John Stiles was frequently contracted to J. S.

[C] Vi and clam were part of the form of the interdict, which was a mode of procedure by which the prætor settled the right of possession of landed property.

[D] The casual ejector was John Doe, who was, like Richard Roe, an entirely imaginary person, of much importance in the old action of ejectment abolished in 1852.

[E] The allusion is to the "Advocates' Widows Fund," subscribed to by all members of the Scottish bar, married or unmarried. The non-existent widow of the unmarried advocate has been a frequent subject of legal verse. See "The Bachelor's Dream," by John Rankine, (Journal of Jurisprudence, vol. xxii. p. 155), "My Widow," by David Crichton (id. vol. xxiv. p. 51).


The Squire's Daughter

We crawled about the nursery
In tenderest years in tether,
At six we waded in the sea
And caught our colds together.
At ten we practised playing at
A kind of heathen cricket,
A croquet mallet was the bat,
The Squire's old hat the wicket.
At twelve, the cricket waxing slow,
With home-made bow and arrow
We took to shooting—once I know
I all but hit a sparrow.
She took birds' nests from easy trees,
I climbed the oaks and ashes,
'Twas deadly work for hands and knees,
Deplorable for sashes.
At hide and seek one summer day
We played in merry laughter,
'Twas then she hid her heart away,
I never found it after.
So time slipped by until my call,
For out of the professions
I chose the Bar as best of all,
And joined the Loamshire Sessions.
The reason for it was that there
Her father, short and pursy,
Doled out scant justice in the chair
And even scanter mercy.
As Holofernes lost his head
To Judith of Bethulia,
So I fell victim, but instead
Of Judith it was Julia.
My speech left juries in the dark,
Of Julia I was thinking,
And once I heard a coarse remark
About a fellow drinking.
I practised verse in leisure time
Both in and out of season,
It was indubitably rhyme,
Occasionally reason.
I lacked the cheek to tell my woes,
Had not concealment fed on
My damask cheek, but left my nose
With twice its share of red on?
Too horrible was this suspense,
At last, in desperation
I went to Loamshire on pretence
Of death of a relation.
The Squire was beaming; "Julia's gone
To London for a visit,
But with a wedding coming on
That's not surprising, is it?
"Old friends like you will think, no doubt,
That she is young to marry,
But ever since she first came out,
She's been engaged to Harry."

Her Letter in Chambers

I sat by the fire and watched it blaze,
And dreamed that she wrote me a letter,
And for that dream to the end of my days
To Fancy I owe myself debtor.
Next day there came the postman's knock,
The morning was bright and sunny,
And showed me a sheaf of circulars, stock
Attempts to get hold of my money.
'Mid correspondence of this dull kind
A dainty notelet lay hidden,
It seemed as though it had half a mind
To consider itself forbidden.
The writing was like herself, complete,
With a touch of her queenly bearing,
So Venus wrote when she ordered in Crete
Her doves to take her an airing.
Inside it was just as promising,
'Twas a pressing invitation
To dine at her house to-morrow, and bring
My book for her approbation.
For I have published, be it confessed,
A little volume of verses,
And in the volume whatever is best
The praise of herself rehearses.
I sit by the fire, and again I dream
A happier dream than ever,
I see her beautiful eyes soft gleam
As she murmurs, "How lovely—how clever!"
Her criticism may be commonplace,
But who can be angry after
Now sweet with pity he marks her face,
Now bright with impulsive laughter?

Law and Poetry

In days of old did law and rime
A common pathway follow,
For Themis in the mythic time
Was sister of Apollo.
The Hindu statutes tripped in feet
As daintily as Dryads,
And law in Wales to be complete
Was versified in triads.
The wise Alfonso of Castile
Composed his code in metre
Thereby to make its flavour feel
A little bit the sweeter.
But law and rime were found to be
A trifle inconsistent,
And now in statutes poetry
Is wholly non-existent.
Still here and there some advocate
Before his fellows know it
Has had bestowed on him by fate
The laurel of the poet.
Let him who has been honoured so,
In truth a rara avis,
Find precedents in Cicero
And our Chief Justice Davis;
And more than all in Cino; he,
So plaintive a narrator
Of fair Selvaggia's cruelty,
Won fame as a glossator.
Let him remember Thomas More
And Scott and Alciatus,
And Grotius with an ample store
Of most divine afflatus.
But let him, if his bread and cheese
Depend on his profession,
Bethink him that the art of these
Was not their sole possession.
The stream that flows from Helicon
Is scarcely a Pactolus,
A richer prize is theirs who con
Dull treatises on dolus.
'Tis well that some bold spirits dare
To cut themselves asunder
From bonds of law like old Molière,
While lawyers gaze in wonder.
The world had been a poorer place
Had Goethe lived by pleading
Or Tasso won a hopeless case
With Ariosto leading.

Somewhere

Somewhere in a distant star,
Cities of Cocaigne there are,
Paradises of the Bar.
Somewhere 'neath another sun
Counsel cease to see the fun
Lurking in a judge's pun.
Somewhere courts are fair to see,
Beauty joins utility,
Ushers answer courteously.
Somewhere there are bailiwicks
Which for dock defences fix
Nothing under three-five-six.
Somewhere rises struggle sore
For revisorships no more,
Every shire has half a score.
Somewhere educated thought
Scientifically taught
Cross-examines as it ought.
Somewhere judgments are obeyed,
Executions are not stayed,
Fees are almost always paid.
Somewhere County Councils press
Banquets on the circuit mess,
Fleshpots in the wilderness.
Somewhere at Assizes grow
Prosecutions row on row,
Every man has six or so.
Somewhere, eager but for right,
Court and counsel cease to cite
Pointless cases recondite.
Somewhere headnotes give the ground
Whereupon the judges found
Judgments generally sound.
Somewhere juries use their sense,
Basing on the evidence
Verdicts of intelligence.
Somewhere rich embroideries
Woven cunningly of lies
Part in twain at truth's clear eyes.
Somewhere justice grows from wrong,
Till the right that suffered long
Sings at last its triumph song.
Somewhere—even in a place
Peopled by a perfect race—
One side holds a losing case.
Somewhere since the world began
Heaven hath made an honest man,
Somewhere in Aldebaran.

Roman Law

I am a "coach" in Roman law by fate,
But Nature must have meant me for a poet,
And while I struggle with a rule or date,
Poetic thoughts intrude before I know it.
The changing sunshine on the summer sea
Drives forth the law of cessio bonorum,
Peculium castrense speaks to me
Of Horace and his Dulce et decorum.
I see the matine bee among the flowers
Instead of testamentum militare,
And wander far away from agent's powers
To picture me again some Maud or Mary.
In truth there is no sequence in the thought,
Why should the title De Societate
Suggest, not trading partners, as it ought,
But visions of my last night's valse with Katie?
But worse than this, when I have done my task,
Stern law again asserts her domination,
'Tis cruel 'mid the new-mown hay to bask,
And find one's mind is running on novation;
Or in the dusk, when glow-worms light the moss,
To hear the distant voice of Philomela
Expound the three varieties of dos
And wax right eloquent about tutela.
I had a little respite yesterday,
Dining with one who well knew how to dine us,
But when I slept, the charm soon fled away,
I dreamed I was a prætor peregrinus.
Dismasted in the deep of law I lie,
A poor reward it is to stand confessed as
The Virgil of the interdict de vi,
The Petrarch of the patria potestas.

Bologna

I go from colonnade to colonnade
In streets that Dante trod, and past the towers
Aslant toward heaven, and listen to the hours
Chimed by the bells of choirs where Dante prayed.
They cease; then lo! the foot of time seems stayed
Five hundred years and more, I find me bowers
Where sweet and noble ladies weave them flowers
For one who reads Boccaccio in the shade.
The cowlèd students halt by two and threes
To hear the voice come thrilling through the trees,
Then tear themselves away to themes more trite.
Anon I mark the diligent hands that turn
Unlovely parchment scrolls whereby to learn
The beauty of inexorable right.

A Garden Party in the Temple

On hospitable thoughts intent
To me the Inner Temple sent
An invitation,
A garden party 'twas to be,
And I accepted readily
And with elation;
Good reason too, but oft the seeds
Of reason flower in senseless deeds.
I stood as savage as a bear,
For not a human being there
Knew I from Adam
I heard around in various tones,
"So glad to see you, Mr. Jones;"
"Good morning, Madam."
It seemed so painfully absurd
To stand and never speak a word.
I brought my doom upon myself,
And there I was upon the shelf
In melancholy.
Why, say you, did I go at all?
I once met Chloris at a ball,
And in my folly
I went and suffered all this pain
In hopes to see her once again.
Of strawberries a pound at least
I ate, and made myself a beast
With tea and sherry;
And raspberries I ate and trembled,
Until I felt that I resembled
Myself a berry,
But 'twas the berry that at school
We used to call a gooseberry fool.
The I. C. R. V.[F] band droned on,
While guests had come and guests had gone
Since my arrival;
My brow grew gloomier with despair,
And on it sat the guilty air
Of a survival
Of some remorse for ancient crimes
Wrought in the pre-historic times.
My seventh cup of tea was done,
My seventh glass of wine begun,
Then of her coming
I was aware, nor shall forget
How she and that brown sherry set
My brains a-humming;
Well should I be rewarded soon
For all the weary afternoon.
Her eyes looked vaguely into mine
Without as much as half a sign
Of recognition.
My heart, my heart! the blow was sore,
But you have often been before
In this condition;
As said the bard of old, those eyes
Are not my only Paradise.[G]