CHAPTER XX.
BORDER POETRY.
BILL CODY.
He’s Western born and Western bred, if he has been late abroad.
I knew him in the days way back, beyond Missouri’s flow,
When the country round was nothing but a huge Wild Western Show;
When the Injuns were as thick as fleas, and the man who ventured through
The sandhills of Nebraska had to fight the hostile Sioux.
These were hot times, I tell you; and we all remember still
The days when Cody was a scout, and all the men knew Bill.
When the Cheyennes and Arapahoes were wiping from the slate
Old scores against the settlers, and when men who wore the blue,
With shoulder-straps and way-up rank, were glad to be helped through
By a bearer of dispatches, who knew each vale and hill
From Dakota down to Texas, and his other name was Bill.
His scouts upon the Rosebud, along with General Crook;
When Custer’s Seventh rode to their death for lack of some such aid
To tell them that the sneaking Sioux knew how to ambuscade.
I saw Bill’s fight with Yellow Hand, you bet it was a “mill”;
He downed him well at thirty yards, and all the men cheered Bill.
In them days laws were mighty skerce, and hardly passed with squaws;
But many a hardy settler’s wife and daughter used to rest
More quietly because they knew of Cody’s dauntless breast;
Because they felt, from Laramie way down to old Fort Sill,
Bill Cody was a trusted scout, and all their men knew Bill.
They says he’s making ducats now, from shows and not from “steers”;
He used to be a judge of “horns,” when poured in a tin cup,
And left the wine to tenderfeet, and men who felt “way up”;
Perhaps he cracks a bottle now, perhaps he’s had his fill;
Who cares, Bill Cody was a scout, and all the world knows Bill.
With laundered shirt and diamonds, as if “he run a game.”
He didn’t wear biled linen then, or flash up diamond rings;
The royalties he dreamed of then were only pasteboard kings;
But those who sat behind the queens were apt to get their fill,
In the days when Cody was a scout, and all the men knew Bill.
Washington, D. C., February 28, 1891.
BUFFALO CHIPS, THE SCOUT, TO BUFFALO BILL.
[The following verses on the life and death of poor old Buffalo Chips are founded entirely on facts. His death occurred on September 8, 1876, at Slim Buttes. He was within three feet of me when he fell, uttering the words credited to him below.—Capt. Jack Crawford, Poet Scout.]
An’ the soldiers, tired an’ tuckered, in the camp would find that rest
Which the settin’ sun would bring ’em, for they’d marched since break o’ day,
Not a bite to eat ’cept horses as war killed upon the way.
For ye see our beans an’ crackers an’ our pork were outen sight,
An’ the boys expected rashuns when they struck our camp that night;
For a little hand had started for to bring some cattle on,
An’ they struck an Indian village, which they captured just at dawn.
An’ we quickly sent a courier to tell old Crook the news.
Old Crook! I should say gen’l, cos he war with the boys,
Shared his only hard-tack, our sorrows, and our joys;
An’ thar is one thing sartin—he never put on style;
He’d greet the scout or soldier with a social kinder smile.
An’ that’s the kind o’ soldier as the prairy likes to get,
An’ every man would trump Death’s ace for Crook or Miles, you bet.
O’ praise ’ithout my chippin’, so I’ll let up on that puff;
Fer I want to tell a story ’bout a mate of mine as fell,
Cos I loved the honest fellar, and he did his dooty well.
Buffalo Chips we call’d him, but his other name war White;
I’ll tell ye how he got that name, an’ reckon I am right.
You see a lot of big-bugs an’ officers came out
One time to hunt the buffaler an’ fish fer speckled trout.
As rode his charger twenty miles to stop a little muss;
Well, Phil he said ter Johnathin, whose other name war White,
“You go an’ find them buffaler, an’ see you get ’em right.”
So White he went an’ found ’em, an’ he found ’em sech a band
As he sed would set ’em crazy, an’ little Phil looked bland;
But when the outfit halted, one bull was all war there.
Then Phil he call him “Buffalo Chips,” an’ swore a little swear.
An’ he us’ter wear two shooters in a belt above his hips.
Then he said, “Now, look ye, gener’l, since ye’ve called me that ar’ name,
Jist around them little sandhills is yer dog-gone pesky game!”
But when the hunt war over, an’ the table spread for lunch,
The gener’l called for glasses, an’ wanted his in punch;
An’ when the punch was punished, the gener’l smacked his lips,
While squar’ upon the table sot a dish o’ buffalo chips.
But Johnathin he reckon’d it war better he should lite.
So he skinned across the prairy, cos ye see he didn’t mind
A chippin’ any longer while the gener’l saw the blind;
Fer the gener’l would a raised him, if he’d jist held up his hand,
But he thought he wouldn’t see him, cos he didn’t hev the sand;
An’ he rode as fast—aye, faster—than the gener’l did that day,
Like lightin’ down from Winchester some twenty miles away.
So Buffaler Bill he took him an’ shared with him his home.
An’ how he loved Bill Cody! By gosh! it war a sight
Ter see him watch his shadder an’ foller him at night;
Cos Bill war kinder hated by a cussed gang o’ thieves,
As carried pistols in thar belts, an’ bowies in thar sleeves.
An’ Chips he never left him, for fear he’d get a pill;
Nor would he think it mighty hard to die for Buffalo Bill.
An’ ye oughter watch his movements; it would do ye good ter see
How he us’ter cook them wittles, an’ gather lots o’ greens,
To mix up with the juicy pork an’ them unruly beans.
An’ one cold chilly mornin’ he bought a lot o’ corn,
An’ a little flask o’ likker, as cost fifty cents a horn.
Tho’ forty yards war nowhar, it was finished soon, ye bet;
But, friends, I promised some one, and I’m strong teetotal yet.
RATTLIN’ JOE’S PRAYER.
(By Capt. Jack Crawford.)
An’ squat yoursel’ down on this skin,
An’, Scotty, let up on yer growlin’—
The boys are all tired o’ yer chin.
Allegheny, jist pass round the bottle,
An’ give the lads all a square drink,
An’ as soon as yer settled I’ll tell ye
A yarn as ’ll please ye, I think.
A day in the bright month o’ June,
When the angel o’ death from the diggin’s
Snatched “Monte Bill”—known as McCune.
Wal, Bill war a favorite among us,
In spite o’ the trade that he had,
Which war gamblin’; but—don’t you forget it—
He of’en made weary hearts glad.
An’, pards, while he lay in that coffin,
Which we hewed from the trunk o’ a tree,
His face war as calm as an angel’s,
An’ white as an angel’s could be.
Thar war no gospel-sharps in the camps,
An’ Joe said, “We can’t drop him this way,
Without some directions or stamps.”
Then up spoke old Sandy McGregor,
“Look’ee yar, mates, I’m reg’lar dead stuck,
I can’t hold no hand at religion,
An’ I’m ’feared Bill’s gone out o’ luck.
If I knowed a darn thing about prayin’,
I’d chip in an’ say him a mass;
But I ain’t got no show in the layout,
I can’t beat the game, so I pass.”
An’ Joe war a friend o’ the dead;
The salt water stood in his peepers,
An’ these are the words as he said,
“Mates, ye know as I ain’t any Christian,
An’ I’ll gamble the Lord don’t know
That thar lives sich a rooster as I am;
But thar once war a time long ago
When I war a kid; I remember,
My old mother sent me to school,
To the little brown church every Sunday,
Whar they said I was dumb as a mule.
An’ I reckon I’ve nearly forgotten
Purty much all that I ever knew.
But still, if ye’ll drop to my racket,
I’ll show ye jist what I kin do.
“Jist hand me them cards off that rack;
I’ll convince that this are a bible,”
An’ he went to work shufflin’ the pack.
He spread out the cards on the table,
An’ begun kinder pious-like, “Pards,
If ye’ll jist cheese yer racket an’ listen,
I’ll show ye the pra’ar-book in cards.
The ‘deuce’ of the Father an’ Son;
The ‘tray’ of the Father, an’ Son, Holy Ghost,
For ye see all them three are but one.
The ‘four-spot’ is Matthew, Mark, Luke, an’ John;
The ‘five-spot’ the virgins who trimmed
Their lamps while yet it was light of the day;
And the five foolish virgins who sinned.
The ‘six-spot,’ in six days the Lord made the world,
The sea, and the stars in the heaven;
He saw it war good w’at he made, then he said,
‘I’ll jist go the rest on the “seven.”’
The ‘eight-spot’ is Noah, his wife, an’ three sons,
An’ Noah’s three sons had their wives;
God loved the hull mob, so bid ’em emb-ark—
In the freshet he saved all their lives.
The ‘nine’ were the lepers of Biblical fame,
A repulsive and hideous squad.
The ‘ten’ are the holy commandments, which came
To us perishin’ creatures from God.
The ‘queen’ war of Sheba in old Bible times,
The ‘king’ represents old King Sol.
She brought in a hundred young folks, gals an’ boys,
To the king in his government hall.
They were all dressed alike, an’ she axed the old boy
(She’d put up his wisdom as bosh)
Which war boys an’ which gals. Old Sol said, ‘By Joe,
How dirty their hands! Make ’em wash!’
An’ then he showed Sheba the boys only washed
Their hands and a part o’ their wrists,
While the gals jist went up to their elbows in suds.
Sheba weakened an’ shook the king’s fists.
Now the ‘knave,’ that’s the devil, an’ God, if ye please,
Jist keep his hands off’n poor Bill.
An’ now, lads, jist drop on yer knees for a while
Till I draw, and perhaps I kin fill;
An’ havin’ no Bible, I’ll pray on the cards,
Fur I’ve showed ye they’re all on the squar’,
An’ I think God’ll cotton to all that I say,
If I’m only sincere in the pra’r.
Jist give him a corner, good Lord—not on stocks,
Fur I ain’t such a durned fool as that.
To ax ye fur anything worldly fur Bill,
Kase ye’d put me up then fur a flat.
I’m lost on the rules o’ yer game, but I’ll ax
Fur a seat fur him back o’ the throne,
And I’ll bet my hull stack thet the boy’ll behave
If yer angels jist lets him alone.
Thar’s nothin’ bad ’bout him unless he gets riled,
The boys’ll all back me in that;
But if any one treads on his corns, then you bet
He’ll fight at the drop o’ the hat.
Jist don’t let yer angels run over him, Lord;
Nor shut off all to once on his drink;
Break him in kinder gentle an’ mild on the start,
An’ he’ll give ye no trouble, I think.
An’ couldn’t ye give him a pack of old cards
To amuse himself once in a while?
But I warn ye right hyar not to bet on his game,
Or he’ll get right away with yer pile.
An’ now, Lord, I hope that ye’ve tuck it all in,
An’ listened to all thet I’ve said.
I know that my prayin’ is just a bit thin,
But I’ve done all I kin for the dead.
An’ I hope I hain’t troubled yer lordship too much,
So I’ll cheese it by axin’ again
Thet ye won’t let the ‘knave’ git his grip on poor Bill.
Thet’s all, Lord—yours truly—Amen.”
An’—what! You all snorin’? Say, Lew—
By thunder! I’ve talked every rascal to sleep,
So I guess I hed best turn in, too.
BUFFALO BILL AND YELLOW HAND.
(By Hugh A. Wetmore, Editor People’s Press.)
But the slickest I’ve seen in any land
Was Buffalo Bill’s with Yellow Hand.
No noospaper buncombe, none o’ the rot
Your citified, dudefied duels ’as got.
When a bunch o’ Cheyennes quit Red Cloud
To j’in the cranky Sittin’ Bull crowd.
But Merritt’s cavalry made a sneak
To head the reds at Big Bonnet Creek.
For which Bill was actin’ as chief an’ guide,
When he git this call from the copper-hide:
A-ridin’ out from his pesky band
(A reg’lar bluff o’ the Injun brand).
My people fear you by day or night;
Come, single-handed, an’ you me fight.”
Says Bill, who jest didn’t care a rap;
“Stan’ by, an’ watch me an’ the varmint scrap.”
When without a hitch they made a start
Straight for each other, straight as a dart.
Was plugged by a slug from Bill’s rifle, an’
Bill’s hoss stumbled—now ’twas man to man!
But in them days, in the sure-enough West,
All stood as equals who stood the test.
An’ had they ben equal both had ben clay,
But Bill was best, an’ he win ther day.
For obvious reasons. Bill wa’n’t scart,
An’ found the center without a chart.
An’ feathers an’ beads wore by the gawk,
The other Injuns begin to squawk.
The opposition must ’a’ felt sick;
But to my taste the duel was monstrous slick.
But the soljers met ’em on the hill,
An’ convinced ’em they had best keep still.
He offered ponies ’f Bill’d let loose
Them trophies—but Bill he wa’n’t no goose.
“Thar’s nought a Injun can do—no matter
What—but a white man can do it better.”