Evocavit litteris e municipiis decem primos et IIII viros. Venerunt ad villam eius mane. Primum dormiit ad h. III, deinde, cum esset nuntiatum venisse Neapolitanos et Cumanos (his enim est Caesar iratus), postridie redire iussit; lavari se velle et περὶ κοιλιολυσίαν γίνεσθαι. Hoc here effecit. Hodie autem in Aenariam transire constituit. Exsulibus reditum pollicetur.
Sed haec omittamus, de nobis aliquid agamas. A Q. Axio accepi litteras. De Tirone gratum. Vettienum diligo. Vestorio reddidi. Servius pr. Nonas Maias Menturnis mansisse dicitur, hodie in Liternino mansurus apud C. Marcellum. Cras igitur nos mature videbit mihique dabit argumentum ad te epistulae. Iam enim non reperio, quod tibi scribam. Illud admiror, quod Antonius ad me ne nuntium quidem, cum praesertim me valde observarit. Videlicet aliquid atrocius de me imperatum est. Coram negare mihi non vult, quod ego nec rogaturus eram nec, si impetrassem, crediturus. Nos tamen aliquid excogitabimus. Tu, quaeso, si quid in Hispaniis. Iam enim poterit audiri, et omnes ita exspectant, ut, si recte fuerit, nihil negotii futurum putent. Ego autem nec retentis iis confectam rem puto, neque amissis desperatam. Silium et Ocellam et ceteros credo retardatos. Te quoque a Curtio impediri video. Etsi, ut opinor, habes ἔκπλουν.[156]
[156] ἔκπλουν Baiter: εκιταονον MSS.
how he plays the statesman. He summoned by letter ten leading men and the board of four from the municipal towns. They came to his country house in the morning. First he slept till nine. Then, when he heard the men had come from Naples and Cumae (for Caesar is angry with them), he bade them return on the next day, saying that he wished to take a bath and a laxative. This he did yesterday. But to-day he has arranged to cross to Aenaria. He is promising the exiles[157] that they shall return.
[157] Banished under Pompey's law de ambitu in 52 B.C.
But let us pass over this and talk about ourselves. I got a letter from Q. Axius. As for Tiro, thanks. I like Vettienus. I have repaid Vestorius. Servius is said to have stopped at Menturnae on the 6th of May. To-day he will stop with C. Marcellus in his villa at Liternum. To-morrow early he will see me, and will give me a subject for a letter to you. Just now I can find nothing to write. I am much astonished that Antony has not even sent a messenger to me, especially when he has paid me much attention. I suppose he has some more truculent order about me. He does not wish to refuse me to my face, but I was not going to ask the favour, nor, if I had got it, should I have believed him. However I will think out some plan. Let me know if anything has happened in Spain; for now there is time for news to have come, and everybody awaits it with the idea, that, if all go well there, there will be no more trouble. But I do not think the business is over, if Spain be kept, nor yet hopeless, if it be lost. Silius and Ocella and the rest I suppose are detained. I see that you too are hindered by Curtius, though I think you have a passport.
XIV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
O vitam miseram, maiusque malum tam diu timere, quam est illud ipsum, quod timetur! Servius, ut antea scripsi, cum venisset Nonis Maiis, postridie ad me mane venit. Ne diutius te teneam, nullius consilii exitum invenimus. Numquam vidi hominem perturbatiorem metu; neque hercule quicquam timebat, quod non esset timendum; illum sibi iratum, hunc non amicum; horribilem utriusque victoriam, cum propter alterius crudelitatem, alterius audaciam tum propter utriusque difficultatem pecuniariam; quae erui nusquam nisi ex privatorum bonis posset. Atque haec ita multis cum lacrimis loquebatur, ut ego mirarer eas tam diuturna miseria non exaruisse. Mihi quidem etiam lippitudo haec, propter quam non ipse ad te scribo, sine ulla lacrima est, sed saepius odiosa est propter vigilias. Quam ob rem, quicquid habes ad consolandum, collige et illa scribe, non ex doctrina neque ex libris (nam id quidem domi est, sed nescio quo modo imbecillior est medicina quam morbus), haec potius conquire de Hispaniis, de Massilia; quae quidem satis bella Servius adfert; qui etiam de duabus legionibus luculentos auctores esse dicebat. Haec igitur, si habebis, et talia. Et quidem paucis diebus aliquid audiri necesse est.
Sed redeo ad Servium. Distulimus omnino sermonem in posterum, sed tardus ad exeundum "multo se
XIV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
What a wretched life this is! and to be so long afraid is more wretched than the very thing one fears! Servius, as I told you before, came on the 7th of May and on the next morning visited me. Not to detain you longer, we could not see our way to a plan. Never have I seen a man more upset with fear; and upon my soul he feared nothing that did not deserve to be feared. He pointed out that Pompey was angry with him, that Caesar was not friendly, that the victory of either would be terrible, both because Pompey was cruel and Caesar daring, and because of their money difficulties, which could only be got rid of by an attack on private property. He bewailed all this with such a flood of tears, that I was surprised they had not dried up in all that long time of misery. My own eyes do not shed one single tear, though this inflammation prevents me from writing to you; but it is often tiresome by keeping me awake. So please collect all the consolation you can and send it to me—not from philosophy or books—I have plenty of that, but I find somehow that the cure is too weak for the disease. Search rather for any news about Spain or Massilia. What Servius says about them is quite satisfactory, and he also tells me there is excellent authority for the story of the two legions. News of this kind then send me, if you get it, and such like topics. Anyhow in a few days something must be heard.
But to return to Servius. We deferred all our conversation to the next day: but he is reluctant to leave Italy, declaring he would much rather die in
in suo lectulo malle, quicquid foret." Odiosus scrupulus de filii militia Brundisina. Unum illud firmissime adseverabat, si damnati restituerentur, in exsilium se iturum. Nos autem ad haec "et id ipsum certo fore, et, quae iam fierent, non esse leviora," multaque colligebamus. Verum ea non animum eius augebant, sed timorem, ut iam celandus magis de nostro consilio quam adhibendus videretur. Quare in hoc non multum est. Nos a te admoniti de Caelio cogitabimus.
XV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Servius cum esset apud me, Cephalio cum tuis litteris VI Idus venit; quae nobis magnam spem attulerunt meliorum rerum de octo cohortibus. Etenim eae quoque, quae in his locis sunt, labare dicuntur. Eodem die Funisulanus a te attulit litteras, in quibus erat confirmatius idem illud. Ei de suo negotio respondi cumulate cum omni tua gratia. Adhuc non satis faciebat; debet autem mihi multos nummos nec habetur locuples. Nunc ait se daturum; cui expensum tulerit, morari; tabellariis, si apud te esset qua satis fecisset, dares. Quantum sit, Eros Philotimi tibi dicet. Sed ad maiora redeamus.
Quod optas, Caelianum illud maturescit. Itaque torqueor, utrum ventum exspectem. Vexillo opus est; convolabunt. Quod suades, ut palam, prorsus adsentior, itaque me profecturum puto. Tuas tamen
his bed whatever happens. He has unpleasant scruples about his son's military service at Brundisium. On one point he is quite firm, that, if the condemned are restored, he will go into exile. I for my part replied "that will certainly happen, and what is happening is equally disagreeable," and I quoted many examples. My examples however did not increase his courage but his fear: so that it appears I must rather conceal from him my design than invite him to share it. He is not to be depended on. By your advice I will consider about Caelius.
XV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
While Servius was with me, Cephalio came with your letter of the 10th, which gave me great hope of better news about the eight cohorts. For even the cohorts which are here are said to be wavering. On the same day Funisulanus brought me a letter from you, corroborating the same news. I gave him a full reply about his business, explaining all your kindness. Hitherto he has not been satisfactory; and he owes me a large sum and is not considered safe. Now he says that he will settle; but that a debtor of his was slow in paying, and that you are to pay the money by your letter-carriers, if that debtor has deposited it with you. The amount Philotimus' man Eros will tell you. But to return to more important matters.
That Caelian plan you favour is coming to a head: so I am worried whether to await a favourable wind. It is a standard we want, and men will flock to it. With your advice, that I should set sail openly, I entirely agree: and so I think I will set out. However
interim litteras exspecto. Servi consilio nihil, expeditur. Omnes captiones in omni sententia occurrunt. Unum C. Marcellum cognovi timidiorem; quem consulem fuisse paenitet. Ὢ πολλῆς ἀγεννείας! qui etiam Antonium confirmasse dicitur, ut me impediret, quo ipse, credo, honestius. Antonius autem VI Idus Capuam profectus est. Ad me misit, se pudore deterritum ad me non venisse, quod me sibi suscensere putaret. Ibitur igitur et ita quidem, ut censes, nisi cuius gravioris personae suscipiendae spes erit ante oblata. Sed vix erit tam cito. Allienus autem praetor putabat aliquem, si ego non, ex collegis suis. Quivis licet, dum modo aliquis.
De sorore laudo. De Quinto puero datur opera; spero esse meliora. De Quinto fratre scito eum non mediocriter laborare de versura, sed adhuc nihil a L. Egnatio expressit. Axius de duodecim milibus pudens! Saepe enim ad me scripsit, ut Gallio, quantum is vellet, darem. Quodsi non scripsisset, possemne aliter? Et quidem saepe sum pollicitus, sed tantum voluit cito. Me vero adiuvarent his in angustiis. Sed di istos! Verum alias. Te a quartana liberatum gaudeo itemque Piliam. Ego, dum panis et cetera in navem parantur, excurro in Pompeianum. Vettieno velim gratias, quod studiosus sit; si quemquam nanctus eris, qui perferat, litteras des, antequam discedimus.
I await a letter from you meanwhile. Servius' advice has not been helpful. All sorts of bars meet us in every opinion he expresses. Only one man, C. Marcellus, have I known to be more timid, and he is sorry he was ever a consul. What a lowborn spirit! He is said even to have strengthened Antony's resolution to prevent my departure: so that his own conduct I suppose may appear more honourable. Antony started for Capua on the 10th, sending word that shame prevented his visiting me, because he thought I was annoyed with him. So I shall go, and openly as you advise, unless hope of playing a more important part shall offer. But that can scarcely occur so soon. Allienus the praetor thought one of his colleagues would be chosen,[158] if I were not. Let it be anyone they like so long as it is some one.
[158] As peace delegate.
As to your sister, I approve. As for young Quintus, I am doing my best, and I hope things are better. As for my brother Quintus, you must know that he is taking extraordinary pains to borrow money to settle his debt; but so far has squeezed nothing out of L. Egnatius. Axius is modest about the £100[159]: for he often requested in his letters that I should pay Gallius as much as he wanted. Even if he had not written, could I have helped it? I have often promised indeed; but he wanted so much at once. They should have helped me rather in my difficulties, confound them. But I will write of this another time. I am glad you are rid of your ague, and Pilia too. While bread and provisions are being put on board, I am going off to my estate at Pompeii. Please thank Vettienus for his trouble. If you can find a messenger, give me a letter before I leave.
[159] 12,000 sesterces.
XVI
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Commodum ad te dederam litteras de pluribus rebus, cum ad me bene mane Dionysius fuit. Cui quidem ego non modo placabilem me praebuissem, sed totum remisissem, si venisset, qua mente tu ad me scripseras. Erat enim sic in tuis litteris, quas Arpini acceperam, eum venturum facturumque, quod ego vellem. Ego volebam autem vel cupiebam potius esse eum nobiscum. Quod quia plane, cum in Formianum venisset, praeciderat, asperius ad te de eo scribere solebam. At ille perpauca locutus hanc summam habuit orationis, ut sibi ignoscerem; se rebus suis impeditum nobiscum ire non posse. Pauca respondi, magnum accepi dolorem, intellexi fortunam ab eo nostram despectam esse. Quid quaeris? (fortasse miraberis) in maximis horum temporum doloribus hunc mihi scito esse. Velim, ut tibi amicus sit. Hoc cum tibi opto, opto, ut beatus sis; erit enim tam diu.
Consilium nostrum spero vacuum periculo fore. Nam et dissimulavimus, et, ut opinor, non acerrime adservabimur. Navigatio modo sit, qualem opto, cetera, quae quidem consilio provideri poterunt, cavebuntur. Tu, dum adsumus, non modo quae scies audierisve, sed etiam quae futura providebis, scribas velim.
Cato, qui Siciliam tenere nullo negotio potuit (et, si tenuisset, omnes boni ad eum se contulissent), Syracusis profectus est ante diem VIII K. Mai., ut ad me
XVI
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I had just sent a letter to you about a number of matters, when very early in the morning Dionysius came to my house. I should not only have been civil to him, I should have pardoned him altogether, if he had come in the spirit you described. For the letter I got at Arpinum said that he was coming and would do whatever I wanted; and I wanted or rather longed that he should be with me. It was because he had flatly refused to do so, when he came to my villa at Formiae, I used to write to you about him rather bitterly. However, after the first greeting, he said, to put it shortly, that I must excuse him and that business prevented his going with me. I said little in reply, but I was greatly hurt, for I understood that he looked down on my fortunes. You may be astonished, but you must know that this is one of the greatest sorrows I have suffered in this crisis. I hope that he may be a friend to you. When I wish that, I wish you prosperity, for just so long he will be your friend.
My plan, I hope, will be free from risk, for I have kept the matter a secret, and, as I think, I shall not be watched very keenly. Only let the voyage be as good as I want, and all precautions that foresight can suggest will be taken. While I am here, please write not only anything you know or hear, but even what you foresee.
Cato, who could have held Sicily without any trouble—and, if he had held it, all loyalists would have flocked to him—sailed from Syracuse on the
Curio scripsit. Utinam, quod aiunt, Cotta Sardiniam teneat! est enim rumor. O, si id fuerit, turpem Catonem!
Ego, ut minuerem suspicionem profectionis aut cogitationis meae, profectus sum in Pompeianum a. d. IIII Idus, ut ibi essem, dum, quae ad navigandum opus essent, pararentur. Cum ad villam venissem, relatum[160] est ad me centuriones trium cohortium, quae Pompeiis sunt, me velle postridie convenire. Haec mecum Ninnius noster, velle eos mihi se et oppidum tradere. At ego abii postridie a villa ante lucem, ut me omnino illi ne viderent. Quid enim erat in tribus cohortibus? quid, si plures? quo apparatu? Cogitavi eadem illa Caeliana, quae legi in epistula tua, quam accepi, simul et in Cumanum veni eodem die, et simul fieri poterat, ut temptaremur. Omnem igitur suspicionem sustuli. Sed, dum redeo, Hortensius venerat et ad Terentiam salutatum deverterat. Sermone erat usus honorifico erga me. Iam eum, ut puto, videbo; misit enim puerum se ad me venire. Hoc quidem melius quam collega noster Antonius, cuius inter lictores lectica mima portatur.
[160] relatum Müller: ventum MSS.
Tu, quoniam quartana cares et novum morbum removisti, sed etiam gravedinem, teque vegetum nobis in Graecia siste et litterarum aliquid interea.
23rd of April, as Curio has informed me by letter. I only hope Cotta may hold Sardinia, as they say, for there is a rumour to that effect. If that happens, what a reflection of Cato!
To lessen suspicion of my journey and intentions I started for my place at Pompeii on the 12th of May to stay there while the necessary provisions were made for my voyage. When I arrived, I was told the centurions of the three cohorts here wished to visit me the next day. That was what my friend Ninnius said—that they wished to hand over themselves and the town to me. But I left the next morning before daybreak, so that they should not see me at all: for what was the use of three cohorts, or more indeed? And what was our equipment? I pondered too over the matter of Caelius when I read it in your letter, which I received on the same day as I arrived at Cumae. It was possible too that it was a mere ruse, so I did away with all grounds of suspicion. But, while I was on my way back, Hortensius came, and turned out of his way to greet Terentia, and he had spoken of me with much courtesy. I think I shall see him soon, for he has sent a servant to announce his coming. This is better behaviour than that of my fellow augur Antony, who carries an actress in a sedan among his lictors.
As you have lost your quartan fever and have not only thrown off your new malady but also your cold, you must present yourself before me sound and fit in Greece. Meanwhile drop me a line.
XVII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Pr. Idus Hortensius ad me venit seripta epistula. Vellem cetera eius! quam in me incredibilem ἐκτένειαν! Qua quidem cogito uti. Deinde Serapion cum epistula tua. Quam priusquam aperuissem, dixi ei te ad me de eo scripsisse antea, ut feceras. Deinde epistula lecta[161] cumulatissime cetera. Et hercule hominem probo; nam et doctum et probum existimo; quin etiam navi eius me et ipso convectore usurum puto.
[161] lecta Manutius: scripta MSS.
Crebro refricat lippitudo non illa quidem perodiosa, sed tamen quae impediat scriptionem meam. Valetudinem tuam iam confirmatam esse et a vetere morbo et a novis temptationibus gaudeo.
Ocellam vellem haberemus; videntur enim esse haec paulo faciliora futura. Nunc quidem aequinoctium nos moratur, quod valde perturbatum erat. Id si transierit,[162] utinam idem maneat Hortensius! si quidem, ut adhuc erat, liberalius esse nihil potest.
[162] transierit Ziehen: cras erit MSS.: ἀκραὲς erit Bosius.
De diplomate admiraris quasi nescio cuius te flagitii insimularim. Negas enim te reperire, qui mihi id in mentem venerit. Ego autem, quia scripseras te proficisci cogitare (etenim audieram nemini aliter licere), eo te habere censebam, et quia pueris diploma sumpseras. Habes causam opinionis meae. Et tamen
XVII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
On the 14th of May Hortensius came to me, just as I had written my letter. I wish his conduct were always as it is now.[163] You would never believe how gushing he was, and I intend to take advantage of it. Then Serapion came with a letter from you. Before I opened it, I told him that you had written to me about him before, as you had done. Then when I had read the letter, I told him the rest in full detail, and upon my word I like the man; for I think him to be learned and upright. Moreover I think I will use his ship and make him my fellow-passenger.
[163] Or "I wish he would always confine himself to writing." But the passage may be corrupt.
Inflammation of the eyes often breaks out again, not indeed very troublesome, but enough to prevent my writing. That your health has recovered from your old complaint and your new attacks I am glad.
I wish I had Ocella here: for it looks as if things are going to be rather easier. Just now the equinox is delaying me. It has been very boisterous. When that is over, I only hope Hortensius may keep to the same mind. So far he could not be more generous.
You wonder about the passport I mentioned, as if I hinted you were guilty of some crime. You say you can't discover how it came into my mind. For my part since you wrote that you meditated leaving, and I had heard that a passport was indispensable, I decided you must have one: and also because you had taken out a passport for the boys. That was the reason for my opinion, but please write and tell me
velim scire, quid cogites, in primisque, si quid etiam nunc novi est.
XVII K. Iun.
XVIII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Tullia mea peperit XIIII K. Iun. puerum ἑπταμηνιαῖον. Quod εὐτόκησεν, gaudeo; quod quidem est natum, perimbecillum est. Me mirificae tranquillitates adhuc tenuerunt atque maiori impedimento fuerunt quam custodiae, quibus adservor. Nam illa Hortensiana omnia fuere infantia. Ita fiet. Homo nequissimus a Salvio liberto depravatus est. Itaque posthac non scribam ad te, quid facturus sim, sed quid fecerim; omnes enim Κωρυκαῖοι videntur subauscultare, quae loquor.
Tu tamen, si quid de Hispaniis sive quid aliud, perge, quaeso, scribere nec meas litteras exspectaris, nisi cum, quo opto, pervenerimus, aut si quid ex cursu. Sed hoc quoque timide scribo. Ita omnia tarda adhuc et spissa. Ut male posuimus initia, sic cetera sequuntur.
Formias nunc sequimur; eodem nos fortasse Furiae persequentur. Ex Balbi autem sermone, quem tecum habuit, non probamus de Melita. Dubitas igitur, quin nos in hostium numero habeat? Scripsi equidem Balbo te ad me et de benevolentia scripsisse et de
what you intend, and especially if there is any news.
May 16.
XVIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
My daughter was confined on the 19th of May: a boy, a seven months' child. I am glad she had a safe delivery. As for the thing that has been born, it is a very poor specimen. So far I have been detained by an astonishing calm, which has been a greater hindrance than the watch kept on me. For all that gush of Hortensius proved child's talk. So it will be found. The villain has been corrupted by Salvius his freeman. Accordingly hereafter I shall write to you, not what I intend to do but what I have done. For every eavesdropper[164] seems to be listening to what I say.
[164] The people of Corycus in Pamphylia spied on merchant vessels and betrayed them to pirates. Hence their name became a proverbial term for spies and eavesdroppers.
However if you have any news about Spain or any other topic, please write, but do not count on a letter from me, till I have reached the desired haven; or possibly I may write something on the voyage. But even this much I write in fear. How sluggishly and draggingly everything has gone! The foundation was badly laid and the rest is of a piece.
Just now I am going to Formiae; perhaps there too the Furies will follow me. However according to Balbus' conversation with you my idea of going to Malta does not win approval. Can you doubt then that Caesar regards me as an enemy? To be sure I have written to Balbus telling him that you had informed me of his kindness and his suspicion. I
suspicione. Egi gratias; de altero ei me purga. Ecquem tu hominem infeliciorem? Non loquor plura, ne te quoque excruciem. Ipse conficior venisse tempus, cum iam nec fortiter nec prudenter quicquam facere possim.
thanked him for his kindness: as regards the suspicion, clear me. Is there a more unlucky man living? I won't say more for fear of hurting you too. I am tortured by the thought that the time has come when I can no longer act either with boldness or discretion.
M. TULLI CICERONIS EPISTULARUM AD ATTICUM LIBER UNDECIMUS
I
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Accepi a te signatum libellum, quem Anteros attulerat; ex quo nihil scire potui de nostris domesticis rebus. De quibus acerbissime adflictor, quod, qui eas dispensavit, neque adest istic, neque, ubi terrarum sit, scio. Omnem autem spem habeo existimationis privatarumque rerum in tua erga me mihi perspectissima benevolentia. Quam si his temporibus miseris et extremis praestiteris, haec pericula, quae mihi communia sunt cum ceteris, fortius feram; idque ut facias, te obtestor atque obsecro. Ego in cistophoro in Asia habeo ad sestertium bis et viciens. Huius pecuniae permutatione fidem nostram facile tuebere; quam quidem ego nisi expeditam relinquere me putassem credens ei, cui tu scis iam pridem minime credere me debere, commoratus essem paulisper nec domesticas res impeditas reliquissem. Ob eamque causam serius ad te scribo, quod sero intellexi, quid timendum esset. Te etiam atque etiam oro, ut me totum tuendum suscipias, ut, si ei salvi erunt, quibuscum sum, una cum iis possim incolumis esse salutemque meam benevolentiae tuae acceptam referre.
CICERO'S LETTERS TO ATTICUS BOOK XI
I
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I got your sealed document, which Anteros brought. It gave me no information about my private affairs. I am exceedingly distressed about them, because Philotimus, who managed them, is not at Rome, nor do I know where in the world he is. And my whole hope of preserving my credit and private property lies in your tried and proved kindness towards me. If in this last desperate crisis you still show that, I shall face the dangers which I share with others more courageously: and I adjure and beseech you to do so. I have in local currency[165] in Asia nearly £18,000.[166] By a bill of exchange for that amount it will be easy for you to maintain my credit. Unless I had thought I were leaving it all square (trusting one, whom you have long since known I ought not to have trusted), I should have delayed a little longer and not left my private concerns embarrassed. The reason why I have been rather long in writing to you about it, is that I was a long time in gathering what was to be feared. Again and again I beseech you that you undertake to protect me in every way, so that, supposing my present associates are spared, I may along with them remain unembarrassed and put down my safety to your kindness.
[165] An Asiatic coin bearing as a device the cista of Dionysius half opened with a snake creeping out of it.
[166] 2,200,000 sesterces.
II
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Litteras tuas accepi pr. Non. Febr. eoque ipso die ex testamento crevi hereditatem. Ex multis meis miserrimis curis est una levata, si, ut scribis, ista hereditas fidem et famam meam tueri potest; quam quidem intellego te etiam sine hereditate tuis opibus defensurum fuisse. De dote quod scribis, per omnes deos te obtestor, ut totam rem suscipias et illam miseram mea culpa et neglegentia tueare meis opibus, si quae sunt, tuis, quibus tibi molestum non erit, facultatibus. Cui quidem deesse omnia, quod scribis, obsecro te, noli pati. In quos enim sumptus abeunt fructus praediorum? Iam illa HS LX, quae scribis, nemo mihi umquam dixit ex dote esse detracta; numquam enim essem passus. Sed haec minima est ex eis iniuriis, quas accepi; de quibus ad te dolore et lacrimis scribere prohibeor. Ex ea pecunia, quae fuit in Asia, partem dimidiam fere exegi. Tutius videbatur fore ibi, ubi est, quam apud publicanos.
Quod me hortaris, ut firmo sim animo, vellem posses aliquid adferre, quam ob rem id facere possem. Sed, si ad ceteras miserias accessit etiam id, quod mihi Chrysippus dixit parari (tu nihil significasti) de
II
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I received your letter on the 4th of February, and on the same day I accepted the inheritance formally according to the will. Of my many and miserable anxieties one is taken away, if, as you say, this inheritance is sufficient to maintain my credit and reputation, though I know you would have defended it even without the inheritance with all your resources. As for what you write about the dowry[167] I adjure you for heaven's sake to manage the whole business and protect the poor girl, a victim of my culpable carelessness, with my funds, if there are any, and out of your own, so far as you can without inconvenience. Pray do not let her remain in the utter want you depict. On what are the rents of my farms being wasted? That 500 guineas[168] of which you write, no one ever told me that it had been kept back out of the dowry, for I would never have allowed it. But that is the least of the blows I have suffered. I cannot write to you about them for sorrow and tears. Of the money I had in Asia I have called in nearly half. It would appear to be safer where it is than with the tax-collectors.
[167] The second instalment of Tullia's dowry due to Dolabella before July; cf. xi, 3. Dowries were paid in three instalments.
[168] 60,000 sesterces.
As for your exhortations to be of good courage, I wish you could find some reason why I should be so. If, on the top of my other sorrows, there comes that which Chrysippus said is under consideration (you gave me no hint), I mean the confiscation of my town
domo, quis me miserior uno iam fuit? Oro, obsecro, ignosce. Non possum plura scribere. Quanto maerore urgear, profecto vides. Quod si mihi commune cum ceteris esset, qui videntur in eadem causa esse, minor mea culpa videretur et eo tolerabilior esset. Nunc nihil est, quod consoletur, nisi quid tu efficis, si modo etiam nunc effici potest, ut ne qua singulari adficiar calamitate et iniuria.
Tardius ad te remisi tabellarium, quod potestas mittendi non fuit. A tuis et nummorum accepi HS LXX et, vestimentorum quod opus fuit. Quibus tibi videbitur, velim des litteras meo nomine. Nosti meos familiares. Si signum requirent aut manum, dices me propter custodias ea vitasse.
III
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Quid hic agatur, scire poteris ex eo, qui litteras attulit. Quem diutius tenui, quia cotidie aliquid novi exspectabamus; neque nunc mittendi tamen ulla causa fuit praeter eam, de qua tibi rescribi voluisti, quod ad Kal. Quinct. pertinet, quid vellem. Utrumque grave est, et tam gravi tempore periculum tantae pecuniae, et dubio rerum exitu ista, quam scribis, abruptio. Quare ut alia sic hoc vel maxime
house, I am the most wretched man alive. I pray and beseech you pardon me. I can write no more. You see, I am sure, with what a weight of misery I am oppressed. If I shared it with others, who seem to be in the same predicament, I should feel less blameworthy and bear it better. Now I have no consolation unless you can arrange, if it is now possible, that I may not be visited with any special disaster and harm.
I have been rather slow in sending back your letter-carrier, because there was no opportunity of sending him. From your agents I have received some £600[169] and the necessary clothing. Please send letters to any people you think right in my name. You know my intimate friends. If they notice the absence of my seal or handwriting, please say I have avoided using them owing to the sentries.
[169] 70,000 sesterces.
III
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
What is happening here you may gather from the bearer of your letter. I have kept him longer than I should, because every day I am expecting something fresh to happen, and there was no reason for sending him even now, except the subject on which you ask for an answer, namely what I wish as to the first of July. Both courses are dangerous, both the risk of such a sum of money at such a dangerous time, and the breaking with Dolabella, which you mention, while the political issue is still uncertain. Accordingly I will leave this matter in particular like others
tuae curae benevolentiaeque permitto et illius consilio et voluntati; cui miserae consuluissem melius, si tecum olim coram potius quam per litteras de salute nostra fortunisque deliberavissem.
Quod negas praecipuum mihi ullum in communibus incommodis impendere, etsi ista res non nihil habet consolationis, tamen etiam praecipua multa sunt, quae tu profecto vides et gravissima esse et me facillime vitare potuisse. Ea tamen erunt minora, si, ut adhuc factum est, administratione et diligentia tua levabuntur.
Pecunia apud Egnatium est. Sit a me, ut est. Neque enim hoc, quod agitur, videtur diuturnum esse posse, ut scire iam possim, quid maxime opus sit. Etsi egeo rebus omnibus, quod is quoque in angustiis est, quicum sumus; cui magnam dedimus pecuniam mutuam, opinantes nobis constitutis rebus eam rem etiam honori fore. Tu, ut antea fecisti, velim, si qui erunt, ad quos aliquid scribendum a me existimes, ipse conficias. Tuis salutem die. Cura, ut valeas. In primis id, quod scribis, omnibus rebus cura et provide, ne quid ei desit, de qua scis me miserrimum esse. Idibus Iuniis ex castris.
IV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Accepi ab Isidoro litteras et postea datas binas. Ex proximis cognovi praedia non venisse. Videbis
to your kind care, and to the consideration and desire of poor Tullia, whose interests would have been better consulted, if originally I had discussed our safety and fortunes with you in person rather than by letter.
You say there is no trouble threatening me especially in this public misfortune. There is a little consolation in that, but there are many circumstances special to me, which you must see are very serious and might easily have been avoided. However they will be less serious, if, as hitherto, they are lightened by your care and management.
The money is with Egnatius. Let it remain there, so far as I am concerned: for things cannot last long as they are, so that I shall soon know what is most necessary. However, I am in want of everything, because the man I am with[170] too is in great straits and I have lent him a large sum of money, thinking that, when things settle down, that will bring me honour as well as profit. Please, as before, if there are any persons to whom you think I ought to write, do it for me. Pay my greetings to your family. Take care of your health. Above all, as you say, make every careful provision that nothing maybe wanting to my daughter, on whose account you know I am very unhappy.
[170] Pompey.
June 13, at the camp.
IV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I have received your letter by Isidorus and two written later. From the last I understand that the
ergo, ut sustentetur per te. De Frusinati, si modo fruituri sumus, erit mihi res opportuna. Meas litteras quod requiris, impedior inopia rerum, quas nullas habeo litteris dignas, quippe cui, nec quae accidunt, nec quae aguntur, ullo modo probentur. Utinam coram tecum olim potius quam per epistulas! Hic tua, ut possum, tueor apud hos. Cetera Celer. Ipse fugi adhuc omne munus eo magis, quod ita nihil poterat agi, ut mihi et meis rebus aptum esset.
IVa
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Quid sit gestum novi, quaeris. Ex Isidoro scire poteris. Reliqua non videntur esse difficiliora. Tu id velim quod scis me maxime velle, cures, ut scribis, ut facis. Me conficit sollicitudo, ex qua etiam summa infirmitas corporis. Qua levata ero una cum eo, qui negotium gerit estque in spe magna. Brutus amicus; in causa versatur acriter.
Hactenus fuit, quod caute a me scribi posset. Vale. De pensione altera, oro te, omni cura considera quid faciendum sit, ut scripsi iis litteris, quas Pollex tulit.
property did not sell. So please see to her support yourself. As to the estate at Frusino, if only I am to enjoy the fruits, it will be convenient for me. You say I owe you a letter. Well, I am hindered by want of matter, having nothing worth writing; for nothing that happens and nothing that is done has my approbation at all. If only I could talk with you instead of writing! Here to the best of my power I conserve your interests with these people. The rest Celer will do. Hitherto I have avoided every office, especially as it was impossible for anything to be done in a way that suited me and my fortunes.
IVa
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
You ask what new moves have been made. Isidorus will tell you. I don't think the rest of the task will be any more difficult. Please pay attention to what you know is my greatest wish, as you say you are doing. I am overwhelmed by care, and that brings with it also great bodily infirmity. When that has passed, I shall go to the man who is conducting the business and who is in high hopes.[171] Brutus is friendly; and takes a keen part in the cause.
[171] I.e. Pompey, who had won a temporary success by piercing Caesar's lines.
That is all that I can prudently commit to paper. Farewell. About the second instalment of Tullia's dowry, pray consider carefully what ought to be done, as I said in the letter, which Pollex took.