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Circular Saws

Chapter 2: I WASTE NOT, WANT NOT
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About This Book

The collection gathers dozens of short, humorous sketches that playfully invert familiar proverbs and aphorisms. Each piece recasts folklore motifs, classical or biblical allusions, and contemporary social scenes into ironic parables, juxtaposing fairy-tale logic with modern bureaucratic and domestic absurdities. Tone ranges from whimsical to sardonic, with concise narratives and punchline resolutions that expose human vanity, hypocrisy and the gap between sayings and reality. Many entries are brief fables or epigrams, organized under proverb-like headings that signal the theme of each vignette.

I
WASTE NOT, WANT NOT

WHEN Haroun-al-Raschid (of whom I have told you before, and if I haven’t it is only because I have forgotten) was having a bath they wouldn’t let him splash. “By the beard of Allah,” he observed mildly to the Vizier, who was standing by with his favourite celluloid duck (guaranteed to float), “this is preposterous. Cannot the Commander of the Faithful splash a little water? What’s the good of being a King, that’s what I say?” “Sire,” replied the Vizier, handing him the celluloid duck, “the higher, the fewer the pleasures of life. And remember in season the saying, ‘Waste not, want not.’”

The following day torrential rains of unprecedented severity visited Bagdad, sweeping away houses and gardens and drowning, among others, in circumstances of peculiar discomfort, the Grand Vizier. “Well,” said Haroun, splashing in his bath (and hitting the opposite wall, mind you), “that only shows.”