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Civil service jingles and other things

Chapter 20: HER HAT
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About This Book

A series of witty poems, parables, and light verses lampooning bureaucratic life and public service. Short jingles and longer allegorical sketches caricature clerical drudgery, patronage, political opportunism, and office rivalries, often using mock‑biblical cadence, puns, and comic exaggeration. Narratives follow minor officials navigating promotions, investigations, and changing regimes, while satirical vignettes highlight hypocrisy and the survival tactics of lower‑rank employees. The collection alternates playful rhyme and humorous prose to entertain readers acquainted with administrative routines.

HER HAT

Oh, Kitty, she was sweet, the sweetest thing on feet,
If I could woo and win her my life would be complete:
I love her, oh, so dearly, but can never tell her that,
For I know I’d never suit a girl who’d wear such an awful hat.
When I look into her eyes I feel that she’s a prize,
But when she puts her hat on, and I gaze upon the size—
Although I love her dearly, it is forced upon me that
I’d never suit a girl who would wear such a hat.
To chat with her’s a treat; her figure’s trim and neat;
She is the idol of my heart, I could worship at her feet;
But, oh, her hat’s a nightmare, I can’t get away from that.
Real brain, I’m sure, cannot exist, ’neath such a crazy hat.
And so I curse my lot and wish that I was not
So soft about the heart, and that Kitty had no blot;
But what’s the use of fighting fate, my reason tells me that
The real soul of a woman’s indicated by her hat.