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Civil service jingles and other things cover

Civil service jingles and other things

Chapter 9: THE CIVIL SERVICE COMMANDMENTS

By Harry McDonald Walters

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About This Book

A series of witty poems, parables, and light verses lampooning bureaucratic life and public service. Short jingles and longer allegorical sketches caricature clerical drudgery, patronage, political opportunism, and office rivalries, often using mock‑biblical cadence, puns, and comic exaggeration. Narratives follow minor officials navigating promotions, investigations, and changing regimes, while satirical vignettes highlight hypocrisy and the survival tactics of lower‑rank employees. The collection alternates playful rhyme and humorous prose to entertain readers acquainted with administrative routines.

THE CIVIL SERVICE COMMANDMENTS

I

Thou shalt to the office come

Every day in the week but one.

II

Thou shalt daily write a lot

Whether it is read or not.

III

Thou must not loaf except by stealth,

Work is better for thy health.

IV

Sharp upon the stroke of noon

Thou mayst lunch, but get back soon.

V

Simple and cheap must be thy fare

A sup of Ottawa, a breath of air.

VI

Thou may’st snooze incident’ly

But do thy snoring very gently.

VII

Hasten thou at four o’clock

But do it slowly without shock.

VIII

At four-forty brush the clothes,

Wash the hands and blow the nose.

IX

At five thou mayst steal away

Without warning or delay.

X

Thou mayst draw thy modest wage

When the month half turns the page.

XI

The Minister thou shalt not kill

Or curse the Civil Service Bill.

XII

When old and dull as any post

Gladly give thou up the ghost.

Then to heaven thou’lt surely go

Having worked and suffered so.