COACHING IN NEW ZEALAND.
1. By the medium of mere words it is impossible to convey an adequate idea of the grandeur—the surprising loveliness we may say—of a New Zealand coach. (Children free.)
2. When a stranger stands for the first time before a New Zealand coach, and views the mechanism of its marvellously constructed wheels, he is struck dumb with admiration.
(From the movement I once experienced in one, I had the vehicle stopped and got out to see if the wheels were square.)
3. As you roll along in these palaces on wheels, the prodigality of unalloyed pleasure which the traveller experiences surpasses the wildest flights of Eastern imagination.
(I recommend the traveller to take one or two good-sized feather-beds along. They may save the expense of a doctor’s account.)
The vast museum of natural wonders and marvellous panoramic effects which pass before the traveller’s eyes, hold him spell-bound with enchantment.
(If you should tumble out of the vehicle the panoramic effects that will cross your eyes for the next fortnight are truly marvellous.)
4. The gigantic insects which cross your path, the cataracts descending from the clouds, the marvellous sensational and grand effects challenging the attention of the two hemispheres, are natural creations never to be obliterated from the feeblest memory.
(When it rains, the cataracts which come through the roof, or in at the sides of the vehicle, are quite appalling.)
5. Oh! velvet roads! Oh! luxuries undreamt of! Oh! marvels of creation! What are ye to a trip in a square-wheeled coach?
In the evening you apply arnica to your bruises, which gives to your body an appearance not unlike that of a leopard.
6. Tableau: what revelations of beauty!