Diminutive dramas

Scene.—A room in Dido’s Palace at Carthage. Discovered: Æneas, wearing a cloak of Tyrian purple; Serestus and Sergestus.

Æneas (in a sharp military tone). Is everything ready?

Serestus. Aye, aye, sir.

Æneas. No leave for either watches to-night. We shall probably go to sea to-morrow morning at four. I’ll let you know later.

Serestus. Aye, aye, sir.

Æneas. That’s all. Don’t any of you get talking, and you, Sergestus, report seven minutes to noon to me.

Sergestus. Aye, aye, sir.

[Sergestus and Serestus salute and go out L.

[Æneas unrolls a chart.

[Dido enters through a curtain C. Æneas hastily conceals the chart.

Dido (cheerfully). Well?

Æneas. Good morning.

Dido. Are you busy? If so I won’t disturb you.

Æneas. No, no, I’m not at all busy.

Dido. I thought you were reading something when I came in.

Æneas. I was only looking through some accounts.

Dido. Aren’t you cold in this room? Wouldn’t you like a fire?

Æneas. No, thank you. I don’t feel the cold.

Dido. It’s blowing so hard to-day. I’ve been for a walk.

Æneas. Oh, is it? I haven’t been out this morning.

Dido. I went for quite a long walk, past the quays.

Æneas. Do you think that was wise? You ought to be careful in this cold weather.

Dido. I like the cold. It reminds me of the day you came. Do you remember how cold you all were?

Æneas. Yes.

Dido. I’m sure you’re busy. I’m sure I’m disturbing you.

Æneas. Not in the least, I promise you.

Dido. Æneas.

Æneas. Well?

Dido. I’ve guessed!

Æneas (uneasy and alarmed). What? I don’t understand.

Dido (smiling). Your little surprise.

Æneas. What surprise?

Dido. I meant not to say, but I can’t help it. I found it out this morning by accident. I think it’s too dear of you to take all this trouble for me, and to send a whole fleet to Tyre to bring me back that purple dye which you promised me—the same colour as your cloak, which I gave you. I meant to pretend I didn’t know, but I am so touched I can’t help it.

Æneas. Oh! the expedition to Tyre. Yes, I was thinking——

Dido. And when do they start?

Æneas. It isn’t quite settled. It depends.

Dido. Couldn’t we go a part of the way with them?

Æneas. No, I’m afraid that’s quite out of the question. The time of year, you see, is so bad. I don’t think you would enjoy it at all. It’s very cold and the sea will be rough.

Dido. I love a rough sea. Couldn’t we go as far as Sicily with them? They’re going to stop there.

Æneas. I don’t think you could leave Carthage just at this moment, could you?

Dido. No, that’s true. We couldn’t very well leave Carthage just now, could we? Because King Iarbas has sent another threatening message.

Æneas. Again?

Dido. Yes; he threatens to attack Carthage at once. He cannot get over the fact that we really are married, and that I have a brave, dear, faithful, darling husband to love and protect me for ever and ever.

Æneas. It certainly is most awkward.

Dido. What? What does it matter to us what he says and does?

Æneas. Well, the fact is that I shall probably have to go with the fleet.

Dido. Then I’ll come with you.

Æneas. My dear Elissa, that’s impossible.

Dido. You don’t mean to say that you’re going to leave me—your wife—alone and unprotected, to face the invasion of a powerful, savage, and angry king when there is absolutely no necessity for your going at all?

Æneas. I can’t possibly leave the fleet to Palinurus—our only pilot. Quite between ourselves he doesn’t know how to navigate—he once mistook the Charybdis beacon for a star ... it was after supper....

Dido. Dearest, I quite understand. You must put off the expedition. I promise you not to mind. I don’t really want the purple dye. We’ll wait till the season is more propitious. It was most dear of you to think of it.

Æneas. But I’m afraid it can’t be put off.

Dido. Why?

Æneas. Well, you see I have absolutely promised—I have definitely pledged myself—I have given my word of honour to visit my brother Eryx in Sicily.

Dido. You can put that off until the spring.

Æneas. I’m afraid it would be too late then. You see the whole matter is most complicated. Eryx expects me. I promised him to go, and if I don’t go now——

Dido. What will happen?

Æneas (vaguely). He won’t be there.

Dido. Why? Is he going away?

Æneas. And then there’s another matter which is still more important. I simply must visit my father’s tomb in Sicily.

Dido. You might have thought of that before.

Æneas. I have constantly—but I put it off.

Dido. As you have put it off so long already, you may just as well put it off a little longer.

Æneas. Yes, but there’s Jove.

Dido. What has Jove got to do with it?

Æneas. He wishes me to go. He is anxious that I should go to Sicily and (pauses) to Italy.

Dido. Why to Italy?

Æneas. It’s entirely for my boy’s sake, Ascanius ... to establish a home for him.

Dido. And how long will you stay there?

Æneas. It depends how things turn out.

Dido. A month?

Æneas. I’m afraid it will be a little longer than that.

Dido. Six weeks?

Æneas. You see it all depends on Jove.

Dido. I ask you as a favour to put off the whole thing until the spring.

Æneas. You know I would do anything you ask me, but I’m afraid I can’t do that. I would if I could, but I can’t.

Dido. You mean you are determined to go to Italy.

Æneas. It’s the last thing I wish to do personally, but Jove——

Dido. Please leave Jove out of the discussion.

Æneas. After all I must go there some time or other.

Dido. You are tired of me.

Æneas. How can you say such a thing?

Dido. I knew it at once. You are going to Italy, and you’re never coming back.

Æneas. Of course I shall come back some time.

Dido (violently). Then it’s true! I knew you were tired of me! I’ve known it for a long time; but I never thought you could be so despicably mean as to try and go away without saying a word.

Æneas. But I never dreamt——

Dido. You build a fleet on the sly, in the middle of winter, to go to a strange country where you have no ties.

Æneas. I beg your pardon, there’s my brother——

Dido. When wind and weather are at their worst, simply and solely to get away from me——

Æneas. But I swear——

Dido. Oh! you don’t expect me to believe for a moment all that nonsense about Jove. If you wanted to stay you wouldn’t think twice about Jove. You don’t care a pin what may happen to me. You have set everybody against me; even my relations, my brother, all the Numidians, and the whole of Libya. You’ve ruined my reputation and given me over to my enemies, and then you put it all upon Jove.

Æneas. I beg you to listen, Elissa. I had never for a moment meant to conceal my journey.

Dido. Then why tell all those silly lies about Tyre and the purple dye?

Æneas. I never said a word about Tyre and the purple dye. It was you.

Dido. How can you tell such lies? When I asked you if the fleet was going to Tyre you distinctly said Yes.

Æneas. What I did say was that I was obliged to go to Sicily to visit my father’s tomb, and that is the simple truth. You can’t expect me to wish the whole world to think me unfilial! As it is, I haven’t had a night’s rest for months. My father’s ghost appears to me every night.

Dido. You expect me——

Æneas. Please let me finish. And only yesterday I received a direct command from Jove, saying I was to go to Italy at once and found a kingdom there. Of course, if this only concerned myself I shouldn’t care, but there’s my son Ascanius to be thought of. I have no right to defraud him of his kingdom. If it were a question of inclination of course I should stay here, and Italy’s the last place I want to go to. If I went anywhere I should go to Troy; but Jove has made my duty plain, and after all a man must do his duty.

Dido. Your duty! And I suppose it was a part of your duty to deceive me, to ruin me, to stir up enemies against me, and then to leave me to them defenceless! Me, your wife!

Æneas (angrily). I must point out that I warned you at the time that our marriage was in no sense legal or valid—it could never be recognised as an alliance.

Dido (calmly). You are quite right. It is entirely my fault. I thought you were a man of honour. I believed your word. I thought you were a man. I was mistaken. You were only a Trojan. I found you shipwrecked, an outcast, starving, helpless, at death’s door. I saved your fleet. I rescued your comrades from death. I saved you from destruction. And this is my reward. The Greeks were right when they burned Troy to the ground, killed your men and made your women into slaves. They were right to spare you, because you are not a man. Your place is with the menials. Please don’t think I shall prevent you going to Italy. Don’t imagine for a moment I am going to argue with you. By all means go and found a kingdom. I trust you will enjoy it and that it will turn out better than Troy. I am sure you know best, and I am sure you know what is best, and I am sure you are right. Don’t imagine that I mind, or that I shall miss you, for I shan’t. I am not the least annoyed at your going, I am only surprised and vexed to find that a man whom I thought was honourable, and truthful, and brave should turn out to be dishonourable, a liar, a coward—and a mean coward. I am angry with myself that I should have made such a mistake about a man, and that you, by your foolish, silly, transparent lies and shuffling should have shown me what a poor opinion you have of me. I wish you a very pleasant journey, and I hope you will do your duty in Italy as well as you have done it in Carthage.

[She goes out C.

Æneas (wiping his forehead with a handkerchief). That’s over!

Enter Sergestus R.

Sergestus. Seven minutes to noon, sir.

Æneas. It’s all right. We go to sea to-morrow.

Sergestus. Aye, aye, sir.

[Æneas goes out, whistling the tune “Good-bye, Carthage, I must leave you.”

Curtain.