VII
THE REHEARSAL
Scene.—The Globe Theatre, 1595. On the stage the Author, the Producer, and the Stage Manager are standing. A rehearsal of “Macbeth” is about to begin. Waiting in the wings are the actors who are playing the Witches, Banquo, Macduff, etc. They are all men.
The Stage Manager. We’d better begin with the last act.
The Producer. I think we’ll begin with the first act. We’ve never done it all through yet.
The Stage Manager. Mr. Colman isn’t here. It’s no good doing the first act without Duncan.
The Producer. Where is Mr. Colman? Did you let him know about rehearsal?
The Stage Manager. I sent a messenger to his house in Gray’s Inn.
The First Witch. Mr. Colman is playing Psyche in a masque at Kenilworth. He won’t be back until the day after to-morrow.
The Producer. That settles it. We’ll begin with the fifth act.
The First Witch. Then I suppose I can go.
The Second Witch. } And I suppose we
The Third Witch. } needn’t wait.
The Stage Manager. Certainly not. We’re going on to the fourth act as soon as we’ve done the fifth.
Banquo. But I suppose you don’t want me.
The Stage Manager. And what about your ghost entrance in Act IV.? We must get the business right this time; besides, we’ll do the second act if we’ve time. Now, Act V., Mr. Thomas and Mr. Bowles, please.
The First Witch. Mr. Bowles can’t come to-day. He told me to tell you. He’s having a tooth pulled out.
The Stage Manager. Then will you read the waiting gentlewoman’s part, Mr. Lyle. You can take this scrip.
[The First Witch takes the scrip.
Where is Mr. Thomas?
The First Witch. He said he was coming.
The Stage Manager. We can’t wait. I’ll read his part. We’ll leave out the beginning and just give Mr. Hughes his cue.
The First Witch (reading). “Having no witness to confirm my speech.”
The Stage Manager. Mr. Hughes.
The First Witch. He was here a moment ago.
The Stage Manager (louder). Mr. Hughes.
Enter Lady Macbeth (Mr. Hughes, a young man about 24)
Lady Macbeth. Sorry. (He comes on down some steps L.C.)
The Producer. That will never do, Mr. Hughes; there’s no necessity to sway as if you were intoxicated, and you mustn’t look at your feet.
Lady Macbeth. It’s the steps. They’re so rickety.
The Producer. We’ll begin again from “speech.”
[Lady Macbeth comes on again. He looks straight in front of him and falls heavily on to the ground.
I said those steps were to be mended yesterday.
[The First Witch is convulsed with laughter.
Lady Macbeth. There’s nothing to laugh at.
The Producer. Are you hurt, Mr. Hughes?
Lady Macbeth. Not much. (The steps are replaced by two supers.)
The Producer. Now from “speech.”
[Mr. Hughes comes on again.
The Producer. You must not hold the taper upside down.
Lady Macbeth. How can I rub my hands and hold a taper too? What’s the use of the taper?
The Producer. You can rub the back of your hand. You needn’t wash your hands in the air. That’s better.
[The dialogue between the Doctor and the Gentlewoman proceeds until Lady Macbeth’s cue: “hour.”
Enter the Doctor (Mr. Thomas). He waits R.
Lady Macbeth. “Here’s a damned spot.”
The Stage Manager. No, no, Mr. Hughes, “Yet here’s a spot.”
The Producer. Begin again from “hands.”
Gentlewoman. “It is an accustomed action with her, to seem thus washing her hands. I’ve known her to continue in this three-quarters of an hour.”
Lady Macbeth. “Yet here’s a damned spot.”
The Stage Manager. It’s not “damned” at all. That comes later.
Lady Macbeth. It’s catchy. Couldn’t I say “mark” instead of “spot” in the first line?
The Doctor (coming forward). That would entirely spoil the effect of my “Hark!” You see “mark” rhymes with “Hark.” It’s impossible.
The Producer. Oh! it’s you, Mr. Thomas. Will you go straight on. We’ll do the whole scene over presently. Now from “hour.”
Lady Macbeth. “Yes, here’s a spot.”
The Stage Manager. It’s not “Yes,” but “Yet,” Mr. Hughes.
Lady Macbeth. “Yet here’s a spot.”
The Doctor (at the top of his voice). “Hark!”
The Producer. Not so loud, Mr. Thomas, that would wake her up.
The Doctor (in a high falsetto). “Har-r-rk! She spe-e-e-aks. I will ... set ... down.”
The Producer. You needn’t bleat that “speaks,” Mr. Thomas, and the second part of that line is cut.
The Doctor. It’s not cut in my part. “Hark, she speaks.”
Lady Macbeth. “Yet here’s a spot.”
The Stage Manager. No, Mr. Hughes; “out damned spot.”
Lady Macbeth. Sorry.
The Producer. We must get that right. Now from “hour.”
Lady Macbeth. “Yet here’s a spot.”
The Doctor. “Hark! she speaks.”
Lady Macbeth. “Get out, damned spot! Get out, I say! One, two, three, four: why there’s plenty of time to do’t. Oh! Hell! Fie, fie, my Lord! a soldier and a beard? What have we got to fear when none can call our murky power to swift account withal? You’d never have thought the old man had so much blood in him!”
The Author. I don’t think you’ve got those lines quite right yet, Mr. Hughes.
Lady Macbeth. What’s wrong?
The Stage Manager. There’s no “get.” It’s “one; two”: and not “one, two, three, four.” Then it’s “Hell is murky.” And there’s no “plenty.” And it’s “a soldier and afeared,” and not “a soldier and a beard.”
The Author. And after that you made two lines into rhymed verse.
Mr. Hughes. Yes, I know I did. I thought it wanted it.
The Producer. Please try to speak your lines as they are written, Mr. Hughes.
Enter Mr. Burbage, who plays Macbeth
Mr. Burbage. That scene doesn’t go. Now don’t you think Macbeth had better walk in his sleep instead of Lady Macbeth?
The Stage Manager. That’s an idea.
The Producer. I think the whole scene might be cut. It’s quite unnecessary.
Lady Macbeth. Then I shan’t come on in the whole of the fifth act. If that scene’s cut I shan’t play at all.
The Stage Manager. We’re thinking of transferring the scene to Macbeth. (To the Author.) It wouldn’t need much altering. Would you mind rewriting that scene, Mr. Shakespeare? It wouldn’t want much alteration. You’d have to change that line about Arabia. Instead of this “little hand,” you might say: “All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this horny hand.” I’m not sure it isn’t more effective.
The Author. I’m afraid it might get a laugh.
Mr. Burbage. Not if I play it.
The Author. I think it’s more likely that Lady Macbeth would walk in her sleep, but——
Mr. Burbage. That doesn’t signify. I can make a great hit in that scene.
Lady Macbeth. If you take that scene from me, I shan’t play Juliet to-night.
The Stage Manager (aside to Producer). We can’t possibly get another Juliet.
The Producer. On the whole, I think we must leave the scene as it is.
Mr. Burbage. I’ve got nothing to do in the last act. What’s the use of my coming to rehearsal when there’s nothing for me to rehearse?
The Producer. Very well, Mr. Burbage. We’ll go on to the third scene at once. We’ll go through your scene again later, Mr. Hughes.
Mr. Burbage. Before we do this scene there’s a point I wish to settle. In Scene V., when Seyton tells me the Queen’s dead, I say: “She should have died hereafter; there would have been a time for such a word”; and then the messenger enters. I should like a soliloquy here, about twenty or thirty lines, if possible in rhyme, in any case ending with a tag. I should like it to be about Lady Macbeth. Macbeth might have something touching to say about their happy domestic life, and the early days of their marriage. He might refer to their courtship. I must have something to make Macbeth sympathetic, otherwise the public won’t stand it. He might say his better-half had left him, and then he might refer to her beauty. The speech might begin:
Or something of the kind. In any case it ought to rhyme. Could I have that written at once, and then we could rehearse it?
The Producer. Certainly, certainly, Mr. Burbage. Will you write it yourself, Mr. Shakespeare, or shall we get some one else to do it?
The Author. I’ll do it myself if some one will read my part.
The Producer. Let me see; I forget what is your part.
The Stage Manager. Mr. Shakespeare is playing Seyton. (Aside.) We cast him for Duncan, but he wasn’t up to it.
The Producer. Mr. Kydd, will you read Mr. Shakespeare’s part?
Banquo. Certainly.
The Producer. Please let us have that speech, Mr. Shakespeare, as quickly as possible. (Aside.) Don’t make it too long. Ten lines at the most.
The Author (aside). Is it absolutely necessary that it should rhyme?
The Producer (aside). No, of course not; that’s Burbage’s fad.
[Exit the Author into the wings.
Mr. Burbage. I should like to go through the fight first.
The Producer. Very well, Mr. Burbage.
The Stage Manager. Macduff—Mr. Foote——
Macduff. I’m here.
Macduff. “Turn, hell hound, turn.”
Mr. Burbage. I don’t think Macduff ought to call Macbeth a hell hound.
The Producer. What do you suggest?
Mr. Burbage. I should suggest: “False Monarch, turn.” It’s more dignified.
Macduff. I would rather say “hell hound.”
The Producer. Supposing we made it “King of Hell.”
Mr. Burbage. I don’t think that would do.
The Producer. Then we must leave it for the present.
Macduff. “Turn, hell hound, turn.”
[They begin to fight with wooden swords.
The Stage Manager. You don’t begin to fight till Macduff says “Give thee out.”
Mr. Burbage. I think we might run those two speeches into one, and I might say:
The Producer. We must consult the author about that.
Mr. Burbage. We’ll do the fencing without words first.
[They begin to fight again. Macduff gives Mr. Burbage a tremendous blow on the shoulder.
Mr. Burbage. Oh! oh! That’s my rheumatic shoulder. Please be a little more careful, Mr. Foote. You know I’ve got no padding. I can’t go on rehearsing now. I am very seriously hurt indeed.
Macduff. I’m sure I’m very sorry. It was entirely an accident.
Mr. Burbage. I’m afraid I must go home. I don’t feel up to it.
The Stage Manager. I’ll send for some ointment. Please be more careful, Mr. Foote. Couldn’t you possibly see your way to take Scene III., Mr. Burbage?
Mr. Burbage. I know Scene III. backwards. However, I’ll just run through my speech.
The Stage Manager. What? “This push will cheer me ever”?
Mr. Burbage (peevishly). No, not that one. You know that’s all right. That tricky speech about medicine. Give me the cue.
The Stage Manager. “That keep her from her rest.”
The Stage Manager. Yes, yes, Mr. Burbage. Here’s Mr. Shakespeare.
The Author. I’ve written that speech. Shall I read it?
The Producer. Please.
Mr. Burbage. Well, you don’t expect me to say that, I suppose. It’s a third too short. There’s not a single rhyme in it. It’s got nothing to do with the situation, and it’s an insult to the stage. “Struts and frets” indeed! I see there’s nothing left for me but to throw up the part. You can get any one you please to play Macbeth. One thing is quite certain, I won’t.
[Exit Mr. Burbage in a passion.
The Stage Manager (to the Author). Now you’ve done it.
The Author (to the Producer). You said it needn’t rhyme.
The Producer. It’s Macduff. It was all your fault, Mr. Foote.
Lady Macbeth. Am I to wear a fair wig or a dark wig?
The Producer. Oh! I don’t know.
The Author. Dark, if you please. People are always saying I’m making portraits. So, if you’re dark, nobody can say I meant the character for the Queen or for Mistress Mary Fytton.
The Stage Manager. It’s no good going on now. It’s all up—it’s all up.
Curtain.