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Dr. Courtney's guide to happy marriage

Chapter 4: Happy and Unhappy Marriages.
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About This Book

A practical manual offers straightforward guidance for newlyweds and those contemplating marriage, arguing that marriage should arise from mutual love and esteem rather than mere physical desire. It lists rules for marital happiness—complete confidence, avoidance of secrets and public reproach, forbearance, continuing courtship, affectionate reconciliation, and partnership in finances and household duties. Separate sections recommend domestic stewardship and economy for wives and generosity, tenderness, transparency, and support for husbands. Throughout, the text emphasizes daily small gestures, mutual respect, and communication as foundations for sustaining a lasting, harmonious partnership.

Happy and Unhappy Marriages.

A happy marriage is without doubt the ideal state of living, the end for which mankind has always striven, while an unhappy marriage is a veritable hell on earth. Examples of both of these states need not be given. We see them every day. To one who reads the daily papers regularly with particular note of the records of divorces, assaults of drunken or jealous husbands, the faithlessness of women and the elopements, the thought must present itself that there are more unhappy marriages than happy ones. This, fortunately, is not true. Where we read of one unhappy marriage and its terrible consequences there are ten happy ones of which the world never hears.

“Marriage,” writes Addison, “enlarges the scene of our happiness and miseries.”

“It is a mistake,” says another writer, “to consider marriage merely as a scheme to happiness; it is also a bond of service, it is the most ancient of that social ministration which God has ordained for all human beings, and which is symbolized by all the relations of nature.”

Still another writer says: “Married life appears to me a sort of philosophical discipline, training persons to honorable duties, worthy of the good and wise. Few unmarried people are affected as they ought to be toward the public good, and perceive what are really the most important objects in life.”