WEDDINGS
THE WEDDING-INVITATIONS are sent out fully two weeks before the marriage, at least, and they may be sent earlier, up to a limit of two months.
The invitation is engraved on white paper, of which there is a double sheet. The invitation itself must occupy only the first page. An average size is between seven and eight inches in length and about an inch less in width. Script is usually preferred. The invitation is folded once and placed in an unsealed envelope with the guest’s name written on it. Another envelope is used to contain this, on which are written both the name and address, and it is sealed for delivery by post or messenger.
It should be borne in mind that, while husband and wife are joined in a single invitation, other members of the family must be separately invited, except that more than one daughter may be included under the designation The Misses ...................., and similarly more than one son, The Messrs. ..................... Otherwise, a daughter receives an individual invitation, as does also a son.
In cities, on the occasion of church weddings where strangers often intrude, it is common to inclose with the invitation a small card inscribed:
Please present this card at
the Church of the Incarnation
on Tuesday, June the first
A standard form for the wording of the invitation is as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Harriet
to
Mr. James Meade Trowbridge
on Tuesday afternoon, June the first
at half-past three o’clock
The Church of the Incarnation
Baltimore
The invitations are issued in the names of the bride’s parents, or, lacking them, in the name of her nearest relative, unless this should be an unmarried sister. When the invitations are issued by a brother, his name only may be used, even though he is married. But where the relation is a married woman, the name of the husband also appears on the invitations. Such invitations issued by some one other than the parents follow the form given above exactly, save that the full name of the bride must be given instead of her Christian name alone, and, of course, the proper relationship must be indicated by a word substituted for daughter.
It is usual, when the bride is a step-daughter, to specify the relationship in the invitation. Thus, in the form given above, if Harriet were the daughter of Mrs. Hudson by a previous marriage, the phrase would run, at the marriage of Mrs. Hudson’s daughter, Harriet Blake Rothwell. If she were the daughter of Mr. Hudson, the phrase would be, at the marriage of Mr. Hudson’s daughter, Harriet.
The invitations to either a wedding-breakfast or reception is inclosed with the invitation to the ceremony, but the engraved card is of the ordinary size.
Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson
request the pleasure of
..........................
company
on Tuesday, June first
at half-past twelve o’clock
Thirty-six Fremont Avenue
But often the name is omitted, and the invitation may read simply:
Reception
From four o’clock
Thirty-six Fremont Avenue
The initials R.s.v.p. may be used in the lower left-hand corner of either form.
The only essential difference in the form of the invitation to a home-wedding is that instead of asking for the honor of your presence, the request is for the pleasure of your company. Of course, the home-address must be given at the end, instead of the name of the church. When the ceremony is to be performed in the presence of only a limited number of friends, those who are to witness it receive with their invitation a small engraved card, inscribed Ceremony at three o’clock, or whatever the hour may be.
Announcement-cards, following the celebration of a quiet wedding, are sent out on the day of the marriage. The paper used is the same as that for the invitations.
Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson
have the honor of announcing
the marriage of their daughter
Harriet
to
Mr. James Meade Trowbridge
on Tuesday, June the first
at the Church of The Incarnation
A combination-card of bride and groom, with their address, and perhaps her at-home day, may be inclosed with the announcement.
If, for any reason, the announcement-cards are not issued by the bride’s relatives, they may be sent out by the engaged pair, using the bride’s maiden name
Mr. George Hart Bagot
and
Miss Mary Elizabeth Peck
have the honor of announcing their marriage
on Monday, June the seventh
at the Church of The Incarnation
Albany
Unless the invitation to a wedding carries the letters R.s.v.p., it does not require any reply, but an invitation to the reception or breakfast should be acknowledged by two visiting-cards, sent to the bride’s parents, when attendance is not possible or convenient. An acceptance or declination is written in the third person, and follows the corresponding form in reference to a dinner-invitation, with the necessary verbal change, substituting, wedding-reception of their daughter, for dinner.
No acknowledgment is required for announcement-cards; but it is well to call on, or leave cards for, the bride’s parents.
It is impossible to state exactly all the details in connection with the marriage-ceremony, since the variations in personal taste and circumstances are such that the wedding may be fittingly celebrated in almost regal state, with a dozen bridesmaids and everything else with like profusion, or the rite may be carried out with a plainness and simplicity that yet perhaps yields a significance more touching than that of the gorgeous spectacle. Each circle in every community has its own accepted traditions, and it is always better that these should be followed. The vagaries of fashion may often tempt its votaries to extravagances in following the fads and fancies of the moment. But there should be no frivolous tampering with the marriage rite, which is proclaimed as a sacrament by the church, and should be always esteemed as the most sacred act in the lives of those who thus make their covenants together.
It need only be added that for an evening wedding the bridegroom wears the regulation evening clothes, while for an hour earlier in the day his costume includes a frock-coat of black or dark blue, a black or white waistcoat, and striped trousers of a lighter shade than the coat. The scarf should be a white ascot, caught with a pearl pin.
He wears patent-leather shoes and gray suède gloves. A silk hat forms the headgear to accompany either the evening dress or the other.
A maiden bride should wear white and a veil of tulle with orange blossoms. The gown may be decolleté and sleeveless for an evening wedding. A woman who has been married before may wear any color pleasing to her, but not white, and she must not veil herself, nor display the orange blossoms. A train properly distinguishes the wedding-gown.
On receipt of an invitation to a wedding, any gift should be sent to the bride without delay. There is no obligation on the part of a merely formal acquaintance to send a gift when invited to a church wedding, but it is permissible. Such an obligation exists for one invited to the breakfast or reception, as well as one to be among a limited number present at the actual marriage on the occasion of a home wedding. Sometimes, those invited to a church wedding compromise by sending flowers.
The distinction between the maiden and the matron is again emphasized in the matter of the bouquet carried by the bride, which for the maiden should be of white flowers, such as lilies of the valley, while for the woman it must be at least touched with color—perhaps of orchids.