CHARITY ON CREDIT
A certain rich laird in Fife, whose weekly contribution to the church collection never exceeded one penny, one day, by mistake, dropped into the plate at the door a five-shilling piece; but discovering his error before he was seated in his pew, hurried back, and was about to replace the coin by his customary penny, when the elder in attendance cried out, "Stop, laird, ye may put in what ye like, but ye maun take naething out!" The laird, finding his explanations went for nothing, at last said, "A weel, I suppose I'll get credit for it in heaven." "Na, na, laird," said the elder, "ye'll only get credit for the penny."