Ever Heard This? Over Three Hundred Good Stories

Chapter 304: A VIOLENT PARTNER

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About This Book

This collection assembles more than three hundred brief anecdotes, jokes, and epigrams that depend on wordplay, situational irony, and everyday foibles. Each item appears as a short titled vignette, ranging from single-line quips to slightly longer comic sketches touching on family life, clergy, lawyers, regional manners, and social customs. The tone moves between gentle satire and absurdity, using concise setups and swift retorts to highlight human vanity, misunderstanding, and hypocrisy. Entries are grouped for easy dipping and light amusement, offering quick observations and humorous reversals rather than extended narrative development.

A VIOLENT PARTNER

A gentleman well-known for the violence of his temper had occasion to escort a lady down to dinner one evening. Unfortunately the lady was extremely deaf, of which fact her partner was unaware.

After they were seated, the gentleman addressed the lady, "Madam, may I have the honour to help you to some fish?" But he got no reply; after a pause but still in the most courteous accents, "Madam, have I your permission to send you some fish?" Then a little quicker, "Are you inclined to take fish?" Very quick, and rather peremptory, "Madam, do you choose fish?" At last the storm burst, and to everybody's consternation, with a loud thump on the table and stamp on the floor, "D---- you, will you have any fish!"