THE RETORT RUDE
A young dude (with a monocle) and very irregular features while travelling by train was at first much amused by the grimaces of a boy who was sitting facing him. The boy, however, was obviously laughing at him so the dude asked him if he could share the joke.
"Joke!" said the boy, "it's your face I'm laughing at."
"Well, I can't help my face, can I?"
"No," replied the boy, leaving the train, "but you could stay at home."