HOW WE KEPT THE DAY.
I. The great procession came up the street, With clatter
of hoofs and tramp of feet; There was General Jones to guide
the van, And Corporal Jinks, his right-hand man; And each
was riding his high horse, And each had epaulettes, of course;
And each had a sash of the bloodiest red, And each had a shako
on his head; And each had a sword by his left side, And
each had his mustache newly dyed; And that was the way We
kept the day, The great, the grand, the glorious day, That
gave us— Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! (With a
battle or two, the histories say,) Our National Independence!
II. The great procession came up the street, With loud da
capo, and brazen repeat; There was Hans, the leader, a Teuton
born, A sharp who worried the E flat horn; And Baritone
Jake, and Alto Mike, Who never played any thing twice alike;
And Tenor Tom, of conservative mind, Who always came out a note
behind; And Dick, whose tuba was seldom dumb, And Bob, who
punished the big bass drum. And when they stopped a minute to
rest, The martial band discoursed its best; The ponderous
drum and the pointed fife Proceeded to roll and shriek for
life; And Bonaparte Crossed the Rhine, anon, And The Girl
I Left Behind Me came on; And that was the way The bands
did play On the loud, high-toned, harmonious day, That
gave us— Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! (With some
music of bullets, our sires would say,) Our glorious
Independence!
III. The great procession came up the street, With a wagon
of virgins, sour and sweet; Each bearing the bloom of recent
date, Each misrepresenting a single State. There was
California, pious and prim, And Louisiana, humming a hymn;
The Texas lass was the smallest one— Rhode Island weighed
the tenth of a ton; The Empire State was pure as a pearl,
And Massachusetts a modest girl; Vermont was red as the blush
of a rose— And the goddess sported a turn-up nose;
And looked, free sylph, where she painfully sat, The worlds she
would give to be out of that. And in this way The maidens
gay Flashed up the street on the beautiful day, That gave
us— Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! (With some
sacrifices, our mothers would say,) Our glorious Independence!
IV. The great procession came up the street, With firemen
uniformed flashily neat; There was Tubbs, the foreman, with
voice like five, The happiest, proudest man alive; With a
trumpet half as long as a gun, Which he used for the glory of
"Number 1;" There was Nubbs, who had climbed a ladder high,
And saved a dog that was left to die; There was Cubbs, who had
dressed in black and blue The eye of the foreman of Number 2.
And each marched on with steady stride, And each had a look of
fiery pride; And each glanced slyly round, with a whim
That all of the girls were looking at him; And that was the
way, With grand display, They marched through the blaze of
the glowing day, That gave us— Hurray! Hurray!
Hurray! (With some hot fighting, our fathers would say,)
Our glorious Independence!
V. The eager orator took the stand, In the cause of our
great and happy land; He aired his own political views, He
told us all of the latest news: How the Boston folks one night
took tea— Their grounds for steeping it in the sea;
What a heap of Britons our fathers did kill, At the little
skirmish of Bunker Hill; He put us all in anxious doubt As
to how that matter was coming out; And when at last he had
fought us through To the bloodless year of '82, 'Twas the
fervent hope of every one That he, as well as the war, was
done. But he continued to painfully soar For something
less than a century more; Until at last he had fairly begun
The wars of eighteen-sixty-one; And never rested till 'neath
the tree That shadowed the glory of Robert Lee. And then
he inquired, with martial frown, "Americans, must we go down?"
And as an answer from Heaven were sent, The stand gave way, and
down he went. A singer or two beneath him did drop—
A big fat alderman fell atop; And that was the way Our
orator lay, Till we fished him out, on the eloquent day,
That gave us— Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! (With a
clash of arms, Pat. Henry would say,) Our wordy Independence!
VI. The marshal his hungry compatriots led, Where
Freedom's viands were thickly spread, With all that man or
woman could eat, From crisp to sticky—from sour to sweet.
There were chickens that scarce had learned to crow, And
veteran roosters of long ago; There was one old turkey, huge
and fierce, That was hatched in the days of President Pierce;
Of which, at last, with an ominous groan, The parson essayed to
swallow a bone; And it took three sinners, plucky and stout,
To grapple the evil and bring it out. And still the dinner went
merrily on, And James and Lucy and Hannah and John Kept
winking their eyes and smacking their lips, And passing the
eatables into eclipse. And that was the way The grand
array Of victuals vanished on that day, That gave us—
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! (With some starvation, the
records say,) Our well-fed Independence!
VII. The people went home through the sultry night, In a
murky mood and a pitiful plight; Not more had the rockets'
sticks gone down, Than the spirits of them who had "been to
town;" Not more did the fire-balloon collapse, Than the
pride of them who had known mishaps. There were feathers
ruffled, and tempers roiled, And several brand-new dresses
spoiled; There were hearts that ached from envy's thorns,
And feet that twinged with trampled corns; There were joys
proved empty, through and through, And several purses empty,
too; And some reeled homeward, muddled and late, Who
hadn't taken their glory straight; And some were fated to
lodge, that night, In the city lock-up, snug and tight;
And that was the way The deuce was to pay, As it always
is, at the close of the day, That gave us— Hurray!
Hurray! Hurray! (With some restrictions, the fault-finders
say,) That which, please God, we will keep for aye—
Our National Independence!
|