Fashions for men, and The swan

Beatrice—Did you beckon me to come out?

Symphorosa—Yes.

Beatrice—What do you want? Why do you act so mysteriously?

Symphorosa—I didn’t want to whisper to you in there.

Beatrice—Don’t be excited! What’s the matter? Tell me calmly.

Symphorosa—Beatrice, I think that Alexandra has been sitting in that corner with the professor altogether too long.

Beatrice—For the first time in my life, Symphorosa, I think you are right.

Symphorosa—It seems to me she is going just a bit further than is strictly necessary.

Beatrice—Apparently I have made a mistake in the size of the dose. But don’t worry, my dear.

Symphorosa—She should be told that she has done enough for the present. Let her keep away from the professor a while.

Beatrice—Very well, Symphorosa, go and tell her to keep away from the professor. Only how will you tell her?

Symphorosa—I’ll signal to her. Like this. [She indicates how.]

Beatrice—That’s right, my dear. [Embraces her affectionately.] You are a darling!

Symphorosa—And you are the cleverest woman in the world.

Beatrice—Only the cleverest in this room. [Symphorosa makes a gesture of protest.] For in the next room is a cleverer woman than I: my daughter. [Symphorosa sighs.] Don’t sigh. You’d do better to admire her poise and tact. And the effect it has had. Albert remarked to me twice that to-night for the first time he has begun to notice how beautiful she is. He won’t go away to-morrow. Wait and see. And the day after to-morrow his mother, Maria Dominica, will be here. [Noticing Symphorosa’s impatience.] You are impatient, my dear. Well, go and signal to her. [Symphorosa hurries off into the ballroom. Beatrice watches her exit with a contented smile, then looks around the room, sees Cæsar.] Cæsar!

Cæsar—Your highness.

Beatrice—Is everything ready?

Cæsar—Yes, your highness.

Beatrice—The table?

Cæsar—Seven covers. For his royal highness, the family, the adjutant and the professor.

Beatrice—You will be sure that the service is flawless.

Cæsar—Your highness!

Beatrice—What is the menu?

Cæsar—Everything his royal highness likes. His excellency, Count Luetzen, was good enough to indicate to me the dishes his royal highness prefers for supper.

Beatrice—What are they?

Cæsar—Cold bouillon.

Beatrice—Yes.

Cæsar—Cold salmon.

Beatrice—Yes.

Cæsar—Cold beef.

Beatrice—Yes.

Cæsar—With his own mustard.

Beatrice—His own mustard?

Cæsar—With his royal highness’ own mustard.

Beatrice—And what may that be?

Cæsar—His royal highness carries his own mustard wherever he goes.

Beatrice—That is a new custom!

Cæsar—The chef says it is a very ancient custom. Eminent Greeks of olden times always brought their own spices to the table of their host.

Beatrice—Is the chef such a learned man?

Cæsar—Yes, your highness. He also told me that the Greek gourmands used to wear a protective shell over their tongues, which they only removed at meal-times.

Beatrice—[Gives him a look of stern reproof.] I didn’t ask you that.

Cæsar—No, your highness. I took the liberty of mentioning it as a curiosity....

Beatrice—You will only answer my questions.

Cæsar—Yes, your highness. And cold chicken.

Beatrice—What’s that?

Cæsar—Cold chicken—after the beef.

Beatrice—What time will supper be served?

Cæsar—In twenty-four minutes, your highness. And an ice.

Beatrice—The menu is too cold for me. In my cup you will serve hot tea, without sugar.

Cæsar—I am afraid, your highness, that hot tea may be distinguishable from the cold bouillon ... by the vapor.

Beatrice—You will see to it that the hot tea has no vapor.

Cæsar—I don’t know just how that can be done, your highness, but it will be.

Beatrice—I shall expect it to be. [Cæsar steps back as Symphorosa re-enters.] Well?

Symphorosa—I signaled to her.

Beatrice—Yes.

Symphorosa—And she stood up immediately.

Beatrice—Good. Now go and see that Arsen puts those cold towels around his neck.

Symphorosa—What a perfect mother you are!

Beatrice—There is no other joy on earth. [Symphorosa exits at left. She addresses Cæsar.] Where is supper to be served from?

Cæsar—From here, your highness. [He claps his hands twice. A procession of servants enters, slowly, single-file. Alfred, platter in hand, comes first. After him come two lackeys, each carrying a platter, borne ceremonially aloft. In the rear are two Hussars with champagne buckets. Alfred and the two lackeys go to the table and, their backs to the audience, lay the three platters on the table. Simultaneously the two Hussars deposit their buckets on the floor near the wall at right. Then the Hussars take their station to the left of the right hand arch while the two lackeys stand in profile between the arch and the doorway at right. Alfred stands between them, bowing.]

Cæsar—Voilà!

Beatrice—Bravo, Cæsar! [She hurries off into the ballroom. Cæsar bows profoundly.]

Cæsar—[When the door has closed behind Beatrice.] Hussars! [The Hussars come forward. He inspects them from head to foot.] Right about, face! [They obey the order. He adjusts their tunics.] Left face! [They obey.] Very good. [The Hussars step back.] Alfred! [Alfred comes forward slowly, and with dignity.] Son Altesse Royale Madame la Duchesse prendra au lieu du consommé froid du thé chaud. Mais du thé chaud non fumant. Le thé doit faire comme couleur absolument l’impression d’un consommé froid.

Alfred—Javoll! Sie können sich bestimmt auf mich verlassen. Alles wird in Ordnung sein.

Cæsar—Vabene mio caro, vabene, vabene, grazia, grazia. [Alfred exits, followed by the two lackeys. The Hussars occupy themselves with the wine buckets and bottles. Cæsar supervises their activities and gives them whispered orders. Meantime Alexandra has entered back left. Behind her, almost beside her, comes Agi. His demeanor is a curious mixture of deferential formality and blissful intimacy.]

Alexandra—Cæsar!

Cæsar—Your highness.

Alexandra—Is supper to be served in here?

Cæsar—Yes, your highness. The guests will be served at small tables in the yellow salon. His royal highness and the family in here. Her highness, your mother, was here just a moment ago.

Alexandra—Oh, then everything has been looked after. How soon will supper be served?

Cæsar—In seventeen minutes. Has your highness any orders?

Alexandra—Nothing, thank you. [Cæsar returns to the wine buckets. At his signal the Hussars exit. During the following scene Cæsar is very busy between the serving table and the supper table. But he is listening.]

Agi—May I escort you back to the ballroom?

Alexandra—Please don’t.... I am afraid you misunderstood me. When I said I was going in to look at the table ... I ... I didn’t mean for you to come with me.

Agi—Your highness, I beg your pardon. [Is about to withdraw.]

Alexandra—Wait ... don’t go. [Embarrassed.] Perhaps I put it a bit too strongly. I didn’t mean it that way.

Agi—Please, your highness. [Cæsar discreetly exits back right.]

Alexandra—Forgive me. I am unpracticed in such things. I didn’t mean to be rude.

Agi—I know, your highness. The reason I misunderstood was because while I was in the midst of my description of the constellation of the Eagle, your highness suddenly stood up ... and so I thought I ought to stand up too, and finish the sentence on the way. I was saying that these seven stars represent a flying eagle and that the eagle’s head——

Alexandra—That’s where I stood up.

Agi—Yes. And it never occurred to me that you were making your escape.

Alexandra—Your stars were beginning to get tiresome.

Agi—I am sorry, your highness.

Alexandra—I had expected to hear about the mysteries and the miracles of the sky, and you spoke only of names and numbers. I never knew the subject was so tedious.

Agi—The stars have their emotional side, too. But I didn’t dare to speak of it.

Alexandra—Perhaps ... that might have been more exciting.

Agi—I could have told you how across those vast distances and beyond the millions of stars one’s thoughts go on to God and His eternity ... to life and death ... to life—[softly] and love.

Alexandra—[Coldly.] Can your imagination bridge such vast distances as that?

Agi—When I look up to you, your highness,—yes. [There is a pause.]

Alexandra—[More coldly.] And eternity, too?

Agi—When I look down upon myself, your highness. [Another pause.]

Alexandra—And you believe in such miracles?

Agi—If I didn’t believe in miracles, your highness, how could I endure my life?

Alexandra—Is it so unendurable?

Agi—It would be, if——

Alexandra—If?

Agi—If I hadn’t two—an outer and an inner life.

Alexandra—Have you? I never noticed.

Agi—Because your highness believes in miracles, too.... You believe my cold and impassive face ... cold and impassive ... even when it is slapped.

Alexandra—[In surprise.] Is your face slapped?

Agi—Every day.

Alexandra—Who slaps your face? [He does not answer.] Who? Do we? Do I? [He nods his head.] Without knowing it?

Agi—They are the worst slaps of all.

Alexandra—I must say ... this is more mysterious than the stars. Do I hurt you?

Agi—Every day your highness looks upon a miracle. A man’s face, his voice, all his outward appearance remain calm and unruffled ... while inwardly he burns. And you never ask for the explanation of the miracle.

Alexandra—The explanation?

Agi—[With rising passion.] Why does your highness suppose I endure it all? Why do I go on teaching, humbly, silently and submissively? Why do I stifle my individuality? Why am I here at all? [Albert enters at left with two ladies.]

Alexandra—I never thought——

Albert—[Good-humoredly interrupts.] An ideal daughter of the house! Before the concert she looks after the musicians, and before supper she looks after the table. Her watchful eye is everywhere.

First Lady—Your highness ought to see her at the hospital among the poor sick people.

Alexandra—You mustn’t flatter me, Countess. The praise is due to you and the other ladies. I am there because it is my duty to be.

Second Lady—Oh, your highness!

Albert—Delightfully modest, isn’t she? I know. You have the same noble character as your dear mother. Good evening, Professor. [Agi bows profoundly. Albert addresses the two ladies.] A brilliant fellow, this young man. [Starts up right with the two ladies.] He is not only a scientifically trained astronomer and teacher but also a swordsman of the first rank. I saw him fencing with the boys this afternoon; and I must say: C’était parfait, absolutement parfait! [Exits with the ladies as he speaks.]

Alexandra—Now you are more melancholy than ever.... Why?

Agi—Shall I say it, your highness?

Alexandra—Is it anything I shouldn’t hear?

Agi—[Looking toward the door through which Albert has vanished.] I am jealous, your highness. [There is a pause.]

Alexandra—I am grieved, Professor. Suddenly you have made me remember ... those vast distances you spoke of before.

Agi—To-night ... to-night they hadn’t seemed so vast.

Alexandra—Yes ... to-night....

Agi—To-night, for the first time, you looked at me as if I were a human being ... a man.... Looked at me ... and said friendly ... intimate things to me——

Alexandra—I said nothing that——

Agi—[With growing boldness.] What you said ... and did ... and looked ... bewildered me, upset my balance, broke down my self-control ... else I should never have spoken. There is a sort of poetry in hopelessness. Until to-night, at least I had that. It was beautiful in its way. But now it’s gone, too. A pity!

Alexandra—I don’t know what to say.... I wish I could give it back to you.

Agi—That’s beyond your power, little princess.

Alexandra—Don’t call me that, if you please.

Agi—You see, I can’t speak to you the way I used to. I am confused, your highness. But to-morrow ... to-morrow....

Alexandra—No, no, ... it must be settled now. I don’t want any more misunderstanding. I had better tell you ... everything ... though I’m terribly ashamed....

Agi—Your highness?

Alexandra—No, no, I can’t tell you....

Agi—I implore you, tell me. I—— [Hopefully.] Tell me. Obey your heart. Take courage, and tell me what above all things in the world I want to hear....

Alexandra—No, no; you are misunderstanding me again. But it’s my fault. What I have to tell you is quite painful.

Agi—What is it, your highness?

Alexandra—It’s about a deception that has been practiced on you.

Agi—A deception? [There is a pause.]

Alexandra—You are a gentleman, and you respect me.

Agi—Your highness....

Alexandra—And I can rely on your discretion.

Agi—Yes.

Alexandra—Absolutely?

Agi—Absolutely.

Alexandra—Yes ... I know you to be a man of honor and a friend of the family ... and I feel that I shall never have peace of mind again until I tell you.... My family ... my mother has but one ambition in life,—to restore our family to its throne. And to that end she wants me to marry the Crown Prince.... You will understand ... it is not easy for me to tell you this.... Every word I speak is like blood ... flowing from a wound. ... Professor ... the Crown Prince showed no interest in me, and my mother decided ... that if someone else were here ... some man ... to whom I could be attentive ... Albert’s interest in me ... might be aroused.... I want you to believe, Professor, that I never meant to hurt you ... and that I am sorry, if I have. Before to-night ... when I was cold and formal with you ... it was because I knew that you were ... not at ease ... in my presence. My mother asked me to invite you to the ball to-night. I have never disobeyed her, but if I had known ... if I could have foreseen ... that a man’s eyes would light up like that when his heart was aflame ... that anyone would dare ... to look into my eyes ... as you have looked—— [She pauses, walks slowly to the table, sits down.] Now I have told you, Professor. Now you know how you have been deceived. [There is a pause.] Have you nothing to say?

Agi—[His head is bowed.] You only obeyed orders.

Alexandra—I don’t want to seem more blameless than I am. It is hateful of me to put all the blame on mother. [After a pause, she continues earnestly, dreamily, almost sadly.] I want to be a queen. [Lets her head sink on her arm. There is a pause.]

Agi—[Softly.] That means ... I may go now.

Alexandra—Why do you say that?

Agi—I have served my purpose.

Alexandra—[Rises.] I am afraid I shouldn’t have told you. How strangely you look at me! [The music stops.]

Agi—Something is broken in me.... Why did you tell me?

Alexandra—Shouldn’t I have told you?

Agi—Why did you tell me?

Alexandra—Because I respect you. I want to be friends with you.

Agi—Do you? How touching!... Like the good princess in the fairy tale. But I am not a lad any more ... to believe in fairy tales.

Alexandra—Are you going to ... punish me?

Agi—I adore you ... humbly and hopelessly again. [Bitterly, earnestly, mockingly.] You needn’t be afraid of me. I know my place. I am still an obedient servant to your illustrious family. And what though I may be wounded a bit and bleeding, I cannot but be honored by the exalted rôle that has been entrusted to me. It is even beginning to amuse and interest me.

Alexandra—You sound insincere.

Agi—Perhaps only bitter.

Alexandra—[Uneasily.] And I thought it was a kindness to tell you the whole truth.

Agi—You have no further need of me. The bridegroom has caught fire; the teacher cam be extinguished.

Alexandra—I won’t have you think such things of me, or say such things to me.

Agi—Have no fear. I am silent and I serve. Don’t look at me so distrustfully. Let us smile and act as if nothing has happened. [Albert appears at back.] Can’t you smile? See, I can. We were talking about the eagle. [Louder.] And the head of the eagle—— [Albert enters with Beatrice and the two ladies.]

Albert—Still here?

Alexandra—The professor has been telling me such interesting things. There is an uncommon astronomical spectacle to-night.

Albert—Where?

Agi—[Uneasily.] In the sky, your highness.

Albert—I know that. But which stars?

Agi—It is not really anything uncommon. Only that a few so-called summer stars may be observed to particularly good advantage to-night. Capella, Arcturus, Vega and the constellation of the Eagle [with significance], which consists of seven stars, which seven stars form a flying eagle; and the head of the eagle....

Albert—[Significantly.] I had no idea this was such an interesting night.

Alexandra—[Nervously.] And the head of the eagle——

Albert—You are very much interested in the stars, aren’t you, Alexandra?

Alexandra—I never thought much about them until to-night.

Albert—Thought more about roses—what? But to-night the sky is illuminated—what? A beautiful summer night. [Significantly.] The stars shine like eyes.

Beatrice—If you are interested, we have a very good observatory in the tower.

Albert—Have you? I didn’t know.

Alexandra—Oh, only an amateur’s observatory.

Albert—Doubtless the brilliant professor fitted it up. The young man of a thousand talents ... what?

Agi—No, your highness, it was here when I came.

Albert—I wonder you didn’t mention it before.

Alexandra—You go to bed so early. And the stars have no regard for etiquette.

Albert—Bravo! That retort was so clever the Professor himself might have thought of it. What?

Alexandra—No, Albert. I thought of it myself.

Albert—[To Hyacinth, who has just entered with Symphorosa.] Did you hear what she said?

Hyacinth—Who?

Albert—Xara. She said the stars have no regard for etiquette. [A gong sounds. Cæsar, the two Hussars and Alfred enter. The Colonel enters back left.]

Beatrice—We dragged the doctor away from his beloved stars to-night.

Hyacinth—And also the poor boys.

Symphorosa—Yes, the poor boys looked forward to it all day. They are delighted with any excuse for not going to bed early.

Hyacinth—Well, they can see them to-morrow. Fortunately the stars are eternal, eh? One can always put them off until to-morrow. [The two ladies exit back left.]

Albert—I didn’t know you had an observatory.

Hyacinth—Oh, yes. Ever since my late brother-in-law, Henry, bought a big telescope. You have seen it often, colonel.

Wunderlich—Oh, yes. Once I burned my tongue up there.

Albert—With the telescope?

Wunderlich—No, your highness. There was some acid in a cup up there, and I tasted it.

Symphorosa—I can imagine what an impression it must have made on you.

Wunderlich—I shall never forget it, your highness.

Beatrice—I think, Albert, it is time to eat something.

Albert—I hope to eat a great deal. I always have a ravenous appetite at night. Haven’t I, Wunderlich?

Wunderlich—God be thanked, your highness.

Alexandra—[To Agi, low.] I shouldn’t like them to read in your face what we have been talking about. [Alexandra and Agi stand down stage left; Hyacinth and Albert at center, a trifle back; Beatrice and Symphorosa down right in front of the table.]

Albert—Xara is absorbed in the science of the stars.

Agi—[To Alexandra.] I’ll try, your highness, but I am afraid it’s too late.

Beatrice—[To Albert.] She takes a keen interest in the education of the boys. She supervises their studies.

Alexandra—That sounds as if you are threatening me.

Albert—Xara will be an astronomer yet.

Hyacinth—Hardly a career to attract a woman.

Alexandra—I have offended you deeply.

Agi—Yes, your highness.

Alexandra—Won’t you forgive me?

Agi—No, your highness. [Albert comes slowly toward Alexandra.]

Symphorosa—[To Beatrice, in an agitated whisper.] Something has happened between them.

Beatrice—Don’t say such things to frighten me, or I shall faint on the spot. [She moves toward Agi.]

Albert—[As he joins Alexandra.] Xara, will you leave the starry firmament, and come down to earth a while? May I offer my arm?

Alexandra—[Takes his arm; nervously.] What an unexpected honor, your highness.

Symphorosa—[To Beatrice.] See how excited he is. His ears are red. Better send him away at once.

Beatrice—Leave him to me. I’ll send him away.

Albert—[Escorting Alexandra slowly to the table.] First you neglect me, and now you make fun of me.

Alexandra—I neglect you? How can you say that? [Agi has slowly followed Alexandra.]

Beatrice—[Intercepting him at center.] You seem to be in bad humor, Professor.

Agi—No, your highness. If you will permit me to say so, this is the happiest night of my life.

Beatrice—But you do seem nervous ... and agitated.

Agi—It’s the unaccustomed surroundings, your highness.

Hyacinth—[At the table, to Alexandra.] You seem agitated, my child. But no matter, you are all the prettier when your cheeks are flushed.

Alexandra—[At the table.] I always get flushed when I hear music.

Beatrice—If you are tired, we will excuse you. Don’t forget you must be up early in the morning.

Agi—I am not tired, your highness. On the contrary I am only beginning to be awake.

Albert—[To Alexandra.] Do you love music?

Beatrice—[Calls to him.] She adores music. She sings, too!

Albert—And you never sang for me!

Symphorosa—[Who is standing with Beatrice and Agi.] Don’t hesitate to go, Professor, if you are sleepy.

Agi—Sleepy, your highness? Why, I just woke up ... not five minutes ago.

Alexandra—[To Albert.] I hesitate to sing for you. You know so much about music.

Albert—I? About music? That’s capital! Did you hear that, Wunderlich?

Wunderlich—I heard, your highness.

Beatrice—[To Agi, again obstructing his way.] You are in a bad humor, Professor. Suppose we send your supper up to your room.

Agi—I’ll eat my supper here. [Beatrice is startled by his tone.]

Albert—Well, Aunt Beatrice, are you studying astronomy, too? Do you want to starve us to death?

Beatrice—[Hurries to the table.] God forbid, dear Albert.

Symphorosa—[As she, too, goes to the table.] We are lost!

Albert—I have always observed that my appetite is keenest at night.

Hyacinth—There you are like Louis XIV.

Beatrice—Shall we sit down? [Albert and Alexandra sit.] Sit here, Professor. [Indicates the place between Symphorosa and her. But Agi sits next to Alexandra.]

Agi—Thank you.

Beatrice—Not there, Professor ... here!

Agi—[Does not stir.] This will do very well, thank you. [Painful silence. Shaking his head, Hyacinth sits.]

Symphorosa—[Whispers to Beatrice.] We are lost! I know there’s going to be a scandal.

Albert—The Bourbons had healthy appetites by day as well. Louis XVIII. once consumed fifteen lamb chops at a public dinner. Imagine how much he must have eaten when no one was looking. That disgusts you, doesn’t it, Beatrice? You are not listening.

Beatrice—[Nervously.] Indeed I am. Louis XV. consumed eighteen lamb chops.

Albert—No, it was the eighteenth Louis and the fifteenth lamb chop. [The lackeys, at the serving table, are preparing to serve the soup.]

Beatrice—[Sweetly.] I hope you like cold bouillon, Albert.

Albert—My favorite summer beverage.

Beatrice—I am so glad.

Symphorosa—[Sweetly.] What a fortunate coincidence!

Hyacinth—How long they are taking to serve it.

Beatrice—Here it comes now, dear. [Cæsar, the two Hussars and Alfred serve the soup.] You can’t keep it on the table, for it gets warm. [Each is served, and tastes the soup. Ceremonial silence.]

Agi—[Unexpectedly, though not loudly, breaks the silence.] And the head of the eagle—I really must finish that sentence—is a star called Altair or Alpha Aquilæ, the star whose brilliant green radiance illuminates the sky to-night. That is what I wanted to say.

Alexandra—You had quite a difficult time reaching the end of that sentence.

Albert—Doubtless the professor speaks so beautifully because Xara likes to listen to him.

Beatrice—It was beautiful, but I didn’t understand a word of it.

Agi—I don’t know how to speak beautifully. Her highness reproached me with it just a while ago.

Albert—[To Alexandra.] Did you?

Alexandra—Yes.

Beatrice—[To change the subject.] Is the soup cold enough, Albert? [Music begins.]

Albert—Just right.

Wunderlich—His highness likes his soup at eight degrees Celsius.

Hyacinth—Beautiful speech is not the most important thing. What counts is the fact that he has studied a great deal, and knows a great deal.

Agi—Perhaps the reason I can’t speak well is that I have never done anything but study.

Hyacinth—That never hurt you, my boy.

Albert—How many hours a day did you study?

Agi—Usually—ten.... And as many every night.

Albert—Ten and ten are twenty. [He rises.]

Beatrice—What are you looking for, my dear?

Albert—The salt.

Wunderlich—Here it is, your highness.

Albert—Thanks. [Resumes his seat; takes the salt.] That left you four hours for sleep.

Agi—Not that many—sometimes.

Albert—That is very bad. I need fifteen hours’ sleep myself. [A pause.]

Symphorosa—I need eight. [A pause.]

Hyacinth—I need six. [A pause.]

Symphorosa—[To Wunderlich.] And you? [A long pause.]

Wunderlich—Two.

Agi—It is a matter of individual habit. For instance, Napoleon—— [Stops suddenly. A painful silence. Each sips his bouillon. The cups are put down simultaneously.]

Beatrice—And so you can’t speak properly because you’ve studied too much?

Agi—The many things one takes in from books must first dissolve themselves in the blood, your highness. They must ferment like wine. Then only will they release that beautiful bouquet, that fine fragrance called poetry. There is a bit of poetry in every man, but many things must happen before it becomes articulate.

Albert—A pretty woman ... what?

Agi—Perhaps....

Beatrice—But ... Albert....

Hyacinth—It depends on the woman.... I have met women who stifled the poetry in a man.

Beatrice—They are quite right. I don’t like poets.

Agi—It depends on the man.... I have met men whom no woman can hurt. I envy them.

Alexandra—Why? [The bouillon cups are removed.]

Agi—Because I am so easily hurt myself.

Albert—By women?

Agi—By any intense emotion. I am supersensitive, I suppose. What another man would only laugh at—might do me irreparable injury.

Albert—But that is really unnecessary.

Agi—I know.

Beatrice—And not very probable.

Albert—But I daresay you have had your experience with women.

Agi—No, your highness. Only with books. [Alfred serves from a platter. Only Hyacinth, Albert and Wunderlich help themselves.]

Albert—Oh, come now!

Agi—It is true, your highness. My first taste of the world was here. I came here straight from my books. And it would be a pity ... if anything happened ... to drive me back to them again.

Hyacinth—It would be a pity!

Agi—Please, don’t misunderstand me. It is not myself I am thinking about ... but—I have a mother ... and you see ... I am the only son ... all she has. And I have a sister, too.... She isn’t pretty, poor girl, but I have educated her ... done all I could for her. I’d like to see her happily married ... and then—— [Looks about him.] I beg your pardon, I didn’t realize I was the only one speaking.

Alexandra—Go on. Go on.... I am very much interested in what you are saying.

Agi—And there is also my old teacher, Dr. Waldbrott.

Hyacinth—Of the University of Heidelberg?

Agi—Yes, father, he lectures there.

Albert—On what subject?

Agi—Astral Chemistry.

Albert—[To Hyacinth.] Tell me what that is.

Hyacinth—The chemistry of the heavenly bodies.

Albert—Oh!

Hyacinth—I know the old gentleman. An admirable man and an eminent scholar.

Agi—Yes, isn’t he? He ... honors me with his confidence.

Albert—Chemistry of the heavenly bodies?

Agi—Yes.

Albert—Yes. [There is a pause.]

Agi—Dr. Waldbrott used to say to me that he would die happy if he could be sure that I would continue his life’s work. He has entrusted his two great theories ... to me.

Albert—I beg your pardon, but how many great theories had he altogether?

Agi—Two.

Albert—And he entrusted them both to you?

Agi—Yes.

Albert—Good!

Agi—It is a very important, a very serious trust, your highness.

Albert—Certainly, certainly.

Agi—It carries a grave responsibility.... My teacher, my mother and my sister ... it is only on their account that I prize my insignificant life ... when it ... [looks at Alexandra] when it’s in danger. [Silence. He raises his glass.] I drink to the welfare of the beautiful young princess. [Drains the glass in a single gulp. Symphorosa nudges Beatrice repeatedly with her elbow.]

Albert—Prosit! That was a mighty draught! [Smiling, he nudges his neighbors.]

Hyacinth—That was the draught of a novice. One doesn’t drink heavy wine like this so quickly.

Agi—I didn’t know, father. I never had the pleasure of drinking it before.

Hyacinth—Then let me introduce you with appropriate ceremony. This is Tokay, my boy, and of the very oldest.

Beatrice—And it is drunk with dessert, and not with the soup.

Hyacinth—A two-fold error: you drank too soon and you drank too much.

Agi—I didn’t know, father. I must own it was the first glass of wine I ever drank in my life.

Hyacinth—Not really?

Agi—Really, father.... There, you see, that, too, had to happen to-night. [Alexandra empties her own glass.]

Beatrice—Alexandra!

Hyacinth—[Takes Alexandra’s glass.] And I had just finished saying that one doesn’t drink this wine so fast.

Albert—It’s plain to see why Xara did it.

Hyacinth—Why?

Albert—To keep the professor in countenance.

Beatrice—It was quite unnecessary. You never take any wine.

Alexandra—I do to-night, mother. [To Albert.] Albert ... see that this old professor gets some appointment. Waldbrott—that was his name, wasn’t it?

Hyacinth—Waldbrott—yes.

Albert—If you wish it—I can write to Berlin. Please, Wunderlich, make a note of it.

Wunderlich—[Writes in his notebook.] I am making a note of it, your highness.

Alexandra—What sort of appointment can one get for a man like that?

Agi—That’s just it—none at all.

Albert—Surely the Emperor can do something for him.

Agi—Hardly, your highness. The man serves a greater lord.

Albert—A greater lord than the Emperor?

Agi—One much greater. [Points upwards.] He is an astronomer.

Alexandra—I should like to meet your sister.

Agi—She is in Dresden, your highness.

Alexandra—Do you love her very much?

Agi—Very much, your highness.

Alexandra—A stupid question to ask, wasn’t it?

Beatrice—[Uneasily.] Yes, my child, it was.

Agi—No, your highness, it was a clever question because it is a pleasure to answer it. I love my sister with all my heart. In my darkest hours I think of her. For she has the indomitable faith that I cannot be crushed, that I am a world unto myself.

Albert—[Somewhat ironically.] A whole world?

Agi—Yes, your highness.

Alexandra—How beautiful.

Albert—Isn’t that a great deal?

Agi—[Courageously.] No, your highness. As an astronomer one learns that the tiniest speck is not to be despised. [With significance.] Those little specks in the sky ... every single one ... is a great world.

Albert—Every one?

Agi—[More bravely.] Every one!

Albert—[A bit sharply.] Perhaps they only think so, these little specks.

Agi—[Still more bravely, though not loudly.] Oh, I know it is difficult for the great lords to realize. They say: “Ten million inhabitants make an army of two millions.” ... Yet it is true that, among all these millions, each individual is a world in himself, a world which may not be destroyed.

Beatrice—[Uneasily.] But, Professor, who is trying to destroy any worlds?

Agi—Women, for example, do it with a smile. [To Alexandra.] Your highness, why do you look at me so fixedly?

Alexandra—I like what you are saying.

Agi—[To Beatrice.] And your highness looks at me so uneasily. Perhaps you don’t like what I’m saying.

Beatrice—[Coldly.] That is not the tone in which you are accustomed to speak to me, Professor.

Agi—[Bitterly.] I am in very good humor to-night.

Beatrice—Better than we care for, Professor.

Alexandra—[Soothingly.] Mother, we are at a ball and are drinking champagne.... [Raises her glass.]

Beatrice—I am astonished, Professor.

Symphorosa—[In alarm, suddenly.] Albert, I commend the salmon to you. It is the pride of our chef.

Albert—I say, he does put it well. That’s why Xara is so interested. What’s that about the salmon? [To Symphorosa.] Did you say something about the salmon?

Symphorosa—It’s the pride of our chef.

Albert—Oh, is it?... But what has that to do with it?

Symphorosa—Nothing. I just mentioned it.

Albert—Oh! Yes! Well! Little specks in the sky. Astronomy. Romance. Empty phrases.

Agi—[Heatedly.] No, not empty phrases, your highness.

Albert—Oh, yes, they are. Phrases for women. To impress them. Every star a world in itself!

Agi—[Belligerently.] Not every star, your highness.

Albert—No?

Agi—No. The big white moon, for example, ... it makes a huge, pretentious, glittering show, yet it has no light of its own. It only reflects the light of the sun. On the other hand, there is the modest little star called Vega, which you seem to hold in such contempt ... its light is a thousand times stronger than the light of the sun. [Symphorosa nudges Beatrice.]

Albert—Its modesty is charming, under the circumstances.

Agi—[Sharply.] It isn’t modesty, your highness. It is only remoteness.

Albert—It is fitting for remote things to glimmer modestly.

Agi—[Openly truculent.] It only seems so to your highness. To me, because I know what it is, it shines in its true value; and so I proudly proclaim that it is more brilliant than the sun, and that its brilliance is its own.... [Puts his hand on his chest.] Its own!

Albert—[Smiling.] Possibly, Professor. It seems I do not understand these things.

Agi—[Decidedly.] No, your highness.

Beatrice—[To Symphorosa in a harrowed whisper.] I can’t bear it any longer.

Albert—Charming! Charming! At last a man who tells me to my face that there is something I do not understand.

Agi—[Stubbornly.] No, your highness doesn’t know anything about it.

Albert—[Forcing himself to seem pleased.] In twenty years I haven’t heard anyone so outspoken. Professor, I admire you not only as an astronomer, but as a man. I am charmed with your candor.

Agi—[As if offended.] It makes no difference to me whether you like it or not.

Albert—[Jovially.] There’s candor for you! Charming! I’m really enjoying myself here.

Beatrice—[Weakly.] Oh! [She rises suddenly, sways. General consternation.]

Albert—[Puts down his glass.] What’s the matter, Aunt Beatrice? [He rises.] Aunt Beatrice! Tu te trouves mal?

Beatrice—[Weakly.] My head ... all of a sudden.... Laisse moi ... je vous en prie—forgive me.... [Wunderlich has gone to her assistance and is supporting her.] Merci, mon colonel.... Never mind.... [The Hussars swiftly draw the portières across both big arches. Wunderlich leaves Beatrice and crosses to left.]

Albert—Tu te trouves mal, Tante Béatrice?

Beatrice—I am sorry ... a little weakness ... please don’t bother ... I’ll retire.

Wunderlich—[To Cæsar.] Have that music stopped. [Cæsar whispers to Alfred, who hurries off. The music stops.]

Albert—[Takes Beatrice’s arm.] I don’t doubt that you exerted yourself too much to-day. Let me see you to your room.

Hyacinth—Don’t bother, Albert. I’ll take her up.

Albert—No, no. Stay here ... everybody. [To Symphorosa, who is about to accompany them.] Symphorosa, you stay here with the salmon. Please sit down, Xara. No excitement. I’ll look after her.

Beatrice—[In a faint voice.] No excitement ... with a houseful of strangers ... oh ... oh!

Albert—All right, my dear ... everything will be all right. [To the others.] I wish you all to remain here, please. [Goes toward left, supporting Beatrice.] As if nothing had happened. [As he passes Cæsar.] Why has the music stopped?

Wunderlich—[Answers for Cæsar.] I thought your highness would prefer no music during this unfortunate——

Albert—[Leading Beatrice slowly off.] Let the music continue. The more the better! [Cæsar makes a sign to Alfred, who exits.]

Beatrice—Pardonnez moi ... merci, mon cher. ... [Albert and Beatrice exit.]

Wunderlich—[As he follows them.] Music. [He looks at Cæsar. There is a brief pause, and the music begins again. Beaming with satisfaction, Wunderlich exits. All except Symphorosa resume their seats.]

Agi—Is your highness ill, too?

Symphorosa—No.

Agi—Well, then——

Symphorosa—I don’t know what to do.

Agi—Why not follow their highnesses? And let the music continue. The more the better!

Symphorosa—[Crosses to left; looks at Alexandra.] What are you going to do? [Alexandra rises, undecided.]

Hyacinth—Stay here. Your mother forbade you to leave.

Symphorosa—[To Hyacinth.] And you?

Hyacinth—See here, my dear; I love Beatrice very much, but she has been having these delicate attacks for thirty years. And I have seen too many of them to be alarmed. If they strike her standing, she sits down ... and if they strike her sitting, she rises.

Symphorosa—Karl!

Hyacinth—[Earnestly.] The situation here is much more serious. I warned you this afternoon.

Symphorosa—What a misfortune! [She exits at left. Cæsar withdraws. Hyacinth, Agi and Alexandra are left alone. There is a pause. Alexandra sits on the tabouret, down right.]

Hyacinth—[Severely.] Well, my son, you see what mischief you have done.

Alexandra—[Greatly agitated.] It was my fault, Hyacinth. I am entirely to blame. That is why I stayed ... to....

Hyacinth—Don’t excite yourself, my child. Let us talk it over calmly. That is why I stayed. You have nothing to fear while I am here. [To Agi.] But you have.

Agi—[Sits.] No, father, I’m not afraid.

Alexandra—It wasn’t his fault. How deeply hurt he must have been, to do such a thing! I am so unhappy, Hyacinth! [She buries her face in the robe of Hyacinth, who it standing beside her.]

Hyacinth—Calm yourself, dear.

Agi—[Rises; vehemently.] I couldn’t endure it any longer, father, I couldn’t.... God is my witness, I tried. But I am only human, father, and ... in love ... I hardly knew what I was saying....

Hyacinth—Tell me, my son, are you angry with me, too?

Agi—How could I be, father?

Hyacinth—Then don’t shout like that. I can hear you. And I understand you too, my son.

Agi—[Grandiosely; excitedly.] I am done for, but I shan’t sell my life cheaply. Not even to this beautiful daughter of a king. Yesterday—no, this very afternoon, I would have given it for her handkerchief. But now that blood has been let, I hold it dearly.

Hyacinth—What you have done——

Agi—I am ready to face the consequences.

Hyacinth—I knew you would be, my son.

Agi—[Very grandiosely.] I am ready to answer for it: to anybody—to the family, to the prince, or to his adjutant with swords or any weapons they choose. But what I did I had to do. And there is more I have to do.

Hyacinth—More?

Agi—Yes, more.

Hyacinth—And this is our serious young scientist! [To Alexandra.] Well, my girl, see what we have come to. Here we are. [Reproachfully.] How do you like it?