Frontier Humor in Verse, Prose and Picture

Chapter 9: TRIALS OF THE FARMER.

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About This Book

A lively assortment of comic verses, short prose pieces, and illustrated vignettes that lampoon everyday life on the frontier and in small towns. Individual items portray bungled schemes, animal mishaps, social embarrassments, and civic or courtroom absurdities presented with ironic twists. Many pieces are brief rhymes or tall tales while others develop longer humorous narratives, and most are paired with spirited drawings that amplify physical gags and visual punch lines. The overall tone is playful and satirical, aiming to amuse by exposing human foibles through slapstick situations and witty observation.

TRIALS OF THE FARMER.

I want to be a farmer
And with the farmers stand—
A whetstone in my pocket,
A blister on my hand.

I sing to be a farmer,
Without the right of way
Across my neighbor’s lot to drive
My ox-cart or my sleigh.

I long to be a farmer
And own a breachy mare,
That oft will leap the bound’ry line,
And make my neighbors swear.

I pine to be a farmer
And own a kicking steer,
That I may feel his horny heel
Whenever I draw near.

I sigh to be a farmer
And plant my field of corn,
That crows may flock and pull it up
Before the streak of morn.

I shout to be a farmer:
How much I would adore
To drive a big and stubborn pig
Some five miles or more.