Further nonsense verse and prose

I may as well just tell you a few of the things I like, and then whenever you want to give me a birthday present (my birthday comes once every seven years on the fifth Tuesday in April) you will know what to give me.

Well, I like very much indeed, a little mustard with a bit of beef spread thinly under it; and I like brown sugar—only it should have some apple pudding mixed with it to keep it from being too sweet; but perhaps what I like best of all is salt, with some soup poured over it. The use of the soup is to hinder the salt from being too dry; and it helps to melt it. Then there are three other things I like; for instance, pins—only they should always have a cushion put round them to keep them warm. And I like two or three handfuls of hair; only they should always have a little girl’s head beneath them to grow on, or else whenever you open the door they get blown all over the room and then they get lost, you know.