Getting ready to be a mother

Now that you actually have your baby in your arms, soft and warm and lovely, you find yourself looking into those wide, wondering eyes of his and wanting nothing so much as to give him your protection.

If he could talk, as he looks back at you, I fancy your baby would tell you how much your care of him, during the months before he was born, has meant, and then he would beg you to stand by, very closely, for a few months more, until he is a little more used to being a separate person living outside your body.

“You have given me a wonderful start,” he seems to tell you, “and now I want to go on and develop the best possible mind and body. I shall be able to do this if you will help me, for what you can give me now is of more importance than what all the rest of the people in the world can give. You can give me through your milk exactly the materials that Nature intends me to use to develop and build this partly finished body of mine, and to protect it from disease. Just tide me over this most difficult period of my life, and I’ll be a credit to us both, not only as a baby but as a growing child and later as a robust man or woman, helping to do my share of the world’s work. I’ll have fine straight limbs to bear me on my way, a good brain to help me take a creditable place among people who count, and steady nerves I’ll have, that will always be dependable. I’ll put into reality the dreams that you and I are dreaming, and when I do, I’ll look back to these early weeks and months and realize that I could not have done it but for you.”

And so you look into the eyes of this baby of yours and pledge yourself to stand by and do for him all that lies in your power, realizing already that the keeping of that pledge is going to bring you, along with its demands, an endless and satisfying happiness; a consciousness that you are doing something indispensable to your baby’s welfare that no one else in the world can do.

You know, now, that your baby’s greatest single need for the next few months is satisfactory nursing at your breast, but you will be able to give him this only if your diet and general mode of living are favorable to the production of good milk.

Quite evidently, then, your big service to your baby, for a while, is largely a matter of caring for yourself.

It seldom happens that the mother who has had good prenatal care, followed by good care during and after labor, is unable to nurse her baby if she orders her own life in the way that is known to be necessary to promote and maintain the production of breast milk. The first essential is her real desire to nurse her baby, next, her appreciation of the continuous care of herself that is necessary to this end, and third her whole-hearted willingness to take such care, for her baby’s sake.

It is safe to say that if the doctor and the nurse and the baby’s mother all want him to nurse at the breast, and all do everything in their power to make this possible, they will almost invariably succeed. This assertion can scarcely be made too positively and we should never lose sight of the fact that if the baby is not breast-fed he is being defrauded, and in the vast majority of cases, because of insufficient effort on the part of those who are caring for him.

Practically the only conditions which doctors in general now recognize as sufficient reason for the mother’s not nursing her baby are retracted nipples, tuberculosis, convulsions, severe heart or kidney trouble, certain acute infectious diseases such as typhoid fever, and the state of pregnancy.

When none of these conditions exist, a favorable frame of mind and a state of good nutrition are the two indispensable factors in establishing breast feeding and maintaining the production of a satisfactory quantity and quality of breast milk. These factors in turn are both affected by the mother’s general mode of living.

Women with happy, cheerful dispositions usually nurse their babies satisfactorily, while those who worry and fret are likely to have an insufficient supply of milk or milk of a poor quality. In addition to this sustained influence exerted by the nursing mother’s state of mind it is well to remember that the quality of milk that has been entirely satisfactory may be seriously injured, for the time being, by a fit of temper, fright, grief, anxiety or any marked emotional disturbance. Actual poisons seem to be created as a result of these emotions and they may affect the baby so unfavorably as to make it necessary to give him artificial food, temporarily, and empty the breasts by pumping or stripping before he begins to nurse again.

I realize that it is not easy entirely to reorganize your life and assume new and exacting duties, while recovering from an experience resembling an illness in some of its effects, and still remain calm, undiscouraged and perpetually cheerful. But each tiny victory that you accomplish in your attempt to achieve this end will bring such satisfaction that you will not count the cost. And the incomparable, always deepening happiness of watching your very own baby grow lovelier and sturdier, day by day, because of the things that you, and no one else, are doing, will make you deny, even to yourself, that anything you do is hard. Particularly will this be true if you repeatedly remind yourself that the satisfactorily breast-fed baby is much more likely to live through the difficult first year than is the bottle-fed baby, and also is much less susceptible to disease and infection.

We shall consider, for a moment, the more important details of the routine care that you should give yourself, for the baby’s sake, and then we shall be ready for the pleasantest task of all—the actual care of the baby himself.

In general you should try to live just a normal, tranquil, unhurried kind of life that is unfailingly regular in its daily routine.

Diet. As was the case during pregnancy, the question of your diet is an important one. Throughout the entire nursing period your food should be such that it will nourish you and also aid in producing milk of a character that will meet the baby’s needs, the needs of a growing, developing body. The best producer of such milk is a diet consisting largely of milk, eggs, “leafy” vegetables and fresh fruit, all taken with an appetite made keen by constant fresh air. Bear this in mind and it will keep you from putting your faith in so-called milk-producing foods and nostrums.

Your meals may well be made up from the groups of foods that are suitable for the expectant mother, as given in Chapter V. At this time, as during pregnancy, you should avoid all food that may produce any form of indigestion, but for the baby’s sake now, as well as your own. While it is not generally believed by doctors of to-day, that there are many, if any, articles of diet which may in themselves injure the mother’s milk, it is generally accepted that if her digestion is upset this may be, and usually is, bad for her milk and therefore bad for the baby.

Certain drugs are excreted through the milk and may affect the baby just as they would if administered to him directly, as for example alcohol and opium, from which morphine, heroin, codein, laudanum and paregoric are derived.

Although the old belief no longer holds sway, that certain substances from such highly flavored vegetables as onions, cabbages, turnips and garlic were excreted through the milk and upset the baby, it is definitely known that certain substances in certain foods are excreted through the milk to the baby’s great advantage. It is necessary to the baby’s well-being, therefore, that the nursing mother’s diet shall include, regularly, those articles of food which contain these substances. These foods are milk, egg-yolk, glandular organs such as sweetbreads, kidneys and liver; the green salads such as lettuce, romaine, endive, and cress and the citrous fruits which are oranges, lemons, grapefruit and limes.

These are called “protective foods” because they protect the body against certain diseases which will be described in the chapter on Nutrition. It is possible for a baby who nurses at the breast of a woman whose diet is poor in protective foods, to be so incompletely nourished as to be on the border line of one of these diseases, or even to develop the disease itself.

It becomes apparent, therefore, that although you did not have to “eat for two” before the baby came, you have to do so now in certain very important respects. For this reason it may be advisable for you to increase the nourishment provided by your three regular meals by taking a glass of milk, cocoa, or some beverage made of milk, during the morning and afternoon and before retiring.

The morning and afternoon lunches would better be taken about an hour and a half after breakfast and luncheon, respectively, in order not to spoil your appetite for the meals which follow. It is of considerable importance that you take your meals with clock-like regularity and enjoy them, as enjoyment promotes digestion; but at the same time you should guard against overeating for fear of causing indigestion, as this, you know, is almost sure to upset the baby. Rich and highly seasoned foods, in fact any articles of food or drink which might upset you, should be avoided for the same reason. Drink water freely but do not take alcohol nor strong tea or coffee without your doctor’s permission.

Summing up the matter of your diet, we find that you should have light, nourishing, easily digestible food, consisting chiefly of cereals, creamed dishes, creamed soups, eggs, meat in moderation, salads and the fresh fruits and vegetables that ordinarily agree with you. Many doctors advise at least a quart of milk daily, in addition to that which is used in preparing the meals and an abundance of water to drink.

Bowels. Your bowels should move freely and regularly every day, but you should not take cathartics, or even enemata without your doctor’s order. You probably will be able to establish the habit of a daily movement by taking exercise, eating bulky fruit and vegetables, drinking an abundance of water and regularly attempting to empty your bowels at the same time every day, preferably immediately after breakfast.

Rest and Exercise. You will not be likely to thrive, nor will the baby, unless you have adequate rest and sleep and take daily at least a moderate amount of exercise in the open air. You need eight hours sleep, out of twenty-four, in a room with the windows open, and as fatigue is bad for your milk it may be a good plan for you to lie down for a while every afternoon. Your exercise will, of course, have to be adjusted to your tastes, habits, circumstances and physical endurance, for it must always be stopped before you are tired. Walking is often the best form of exercise that the nursing mother can take and though as a rule she may engage in any mild sports that she enjoys, violent exercise is inadvisable because of the exhaustion that may follow.

Recreation. Part of the value of exercise lies in the pleasure and diversion which it offers, for as we have seen, a happy, contented frame of mind is practically indispensable to the production of good milk. In addition to some regular and enjoyable exercise, therefore, you need a certain amount of recreation and change of thought and environment. If life is monotonous and colorless, the average woman is almost sure to become irritable and depressed; to lose her poise and perspective; to worry and fret, and then, no matter what she eats nor how much she sleeps, her digestion will suffer, her milk will be affected and the baby will pay. This, of course, goes back to the question of the young mother’s mental state and the condition of her nerves as determining factors in her ability to nurse the baby successfully.

Just here it is important to say a word of caution about this very question of your attitude of mind, particularly as it relates to your care of yourself.

It may be that one of the most difficult tasks you will have will be that of getting out of the habit of accepting the position that borders on being an invalid—of being a protected person who is thought about, cared for and considered at every turn. This has been your position for several months and the most natural result of it all is a tendency to cling, perhaps ever so little and even unconsciously, to this very pleasant state. It is not possible for anyone to reduce so broad and intangible a subject to a few definite words of advice. But think it over for yourself and try to strike that happiest of happy mediums that lies somewhere between the equally harmful courses of coddling yourself and of overdoing.

A good many doctors think that for the sake of giving the nursing mother an opportunity to go out, mingle with her friends, take in some music or a play, it is often a good plan to replace one breast feeding, sometime in the course of each day, with a bottle feeding. The freedom which this long interval between two nursings gives the mother for diversion and amusement, will often affect her general condition so favorably that the quality of her milk is definitely better than it otherwise would be and the baby is benefited as a result. This single supplementary feeding cannot be regarded lightly, however, for it must be prepared with the same cleanliness and accuracy as an entirely artificial diet, which will be described in the next chapter.

Weaning. One advantage in giving the baby a supplementary bottle once a day, is that it paves the way for weaning, when the time comes to make this change. Under ordinary conditions, the mother begins to wean her baby about the eighth or tenth month. Having started by replacing one breast feeding, daily, with a bottle feeding, she gradually increases the number of bottles given daily until the breast feedings are discontinued by the time the baby is eleven or twelve months old. There are exceptions to this general rule, of course, and under any conditions the weaning should always be directed by a doctor, for the baby may suffer seriously unless the change in food is skillfully made. If the mother’s milk is satisfactory and the baby is doing well, it is often considered wise not to discontinue the breast feeding entirely, during the hot summer months even though the weaning falls due at this time.

It was formerly deemed advisable to wean the baby for any one of several reasons, but at present the only indications for this step which seem to be generally accepted by the medical profession, are: pulmonary tuberculosis, acute infectious diseases in the mother and pregnancy. Menstruation was long regarded as incompatible with satisfactory nursing, but it is now known that if the mother is taking proper care of herself and is in generally good condition, the impoverishing effect of menstruation upon the milk is usually for the duration of the periods only. It may be necessary to supplement the breast feeding with suitably modified cows’ milk during menstruation, but the baby should be put to the breast regularly, just the same, for if the stimulation of the baby’s suckling is discontinued, the temporary reduction in the amount of the milk secreted will probably become permanent.

The state of pregnancy, however, is different, for though some women nurse a baby satisfactorily for some months after becoming pregnant, it is not considered advisable to subject any woman to the combined strain of pregnancy and nursing. Moreover, the mother’s milk is usually so impoverished during pregnancy that the nursing baby suffers in consequence.

Drying up the breasts used to be a great bugbear. Lotions, ointments and binders were employed and often a breast pump as well. Various drugs were given by mouth and the mother was more or less rigidly dieted. It is true that some of these measures are still employed and are followed by a disappearance of the milk. But at the same time, the breasts dry up quite as satisfactorily when none of these things are done, provided the baby does not nurse. It is not known what starts the secretion of milk in the mother’s breasts, but certain it is that absence of the baby’s suckling stops it.

If it is left to you to dry up your breasts, your safest course will be to do nothing beyond applying a supporting bandage, if your breasts are heavy enough to be uncomfortable, and keeping your nipples scrupulously clean. You may rely absolutely upon the fact that the baby’s suckling is the most important stimulation in promoting the activity of the breasts and if this stimulation is not given, or is removed, the secretion of milk will invariably subside in the course of a few days. This is true whether the reason for drying up the breasts is that the baby is stillborn or has died, or a live baby’s nursing is discontinued. It is true that the breasts may be swollen and very uncomfortable for a day or two, and in addition to a supporting bandage the doctor may order sedatives, but the discomfort subsides as the milk disappears.

Quite naturally you will not drink an extra amount of milk if you are drying up your breasts, but it probably will not be necessary to place any other restrictions upon your diet.

In thinking over the nursing period as a whole, we find that after all it is a fairly simple matter so to order one’s life as to promote and maintain a satisfactory supply of milk. The milk thus produced is the ideal baby food and there is no entirely adequate substitute. Never forget that. It gives the baby enormously increased chances of living past babyhood and protects him from many diseases.

Quite evidently breast feeding is every baby’s birthright and his mother is the only one who can deprive him of it.