XII.
My Duty Towards God
PRAYERS.
Slow, recollected, persevering.
Peaceful, calm, resigned.
Simple, humble, trusting.
Always reverent, as loving as possible.
[pg 166]Charitable. Have I not always opportunity to give? to thank?
SUBMISSION.
To my lot and to my duty: they come from God, are ordained by God, lead me to God, to neglect them is to estrange myself from Him.
To the Guide of my soul: He has received the Holy Spirit in order to show me the way; he has God's Spirit to guide him.
To my Parents: they have God's authority.
To circumstances: they are arranged and sent by God.
Duty Towards My Neighbor
GOOD EXAMPLE.
By modest demeanor and simple dress.
By a smiling face and pleasing manner.
Always striving to give pleasure.
Faithfully fulfilling every duty.
GOOD WORDS.
Zealous without affectation, encouraging, consoling, peaceful, joyful, loving. These are possible every day.
GOOD DEEDS.
Service rendered by alms, by industry, by influence.
[pg 168]Ills remedied, by excusing, justifying, protecting, defending, concealing faults and mistakes; if possible, by repairing them.
Joys provided, for the mind, by a joyous manner; for the heart, by loving thanks; for the soul, by a word of Heaven.
My Duty Towards Myself
COURAGE.
In trials and adversity, disturbance, sickness, failure, humiliations.
Worries that trouble without reason.
Ill temper controlled, in order not to pain others.
After failures, to begin again.
In temptations, to withstand them.
XIII.
The Power of an Act of Love Towards God
Have you ever reflected upon this?
Let us consider the exact words that describe it.
"I love Thee with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, because Thou art so good, so infinitely good!"Try and repeat these words slowly, [pg 170] so that each may penetrate deep into your heart.
Do you not feel moved, as if your whole being in these words went forth to God, offering to Him life itself?
Do you not feel, in making this Act of Love, you give far more than if you gave your wealth, influence, or time; nay, rather does not this very act seem to bring you riches, strength, opportunities, all that you possess?
Picture to yourself, standing before you, a child—a child perhaps who may have injured you deeply, and yet whose sincerity at this moment you cannot doubt, who is actuated neither by fear nor self-seeking, but simply by a penitent heart, and who comes to say to you words of love, such as those above, do you feel no emotion, no feeling of pity?
I defy you to be without some emotion, not to feel your arms extending, perhaps in spite of you, to embrace [pg 171] this poor child, and not to answer, "I also love thee."
I have yet another test to put to you, poor, desolate, guilty, hopeless as you are, seeing only within and around you, fears, terror, and—ay, let me say it—damnation.
I defy you to kneel and say these words (laying a greater stress on them because of the repugnance you feel): "My God! I love Thee with all my heart, with all my strength, with all my soul, above everything, because Thou art so good, so infinitely good!" and then not to feel that Jesus is moved with compassion, and not to hear His Voice, saying to you, "My child, I love thee also!"
O Jesus, how can we find words in which to express the tenderness awakened in Thine Heart, by a word of love from one of Thy little ones! That Heart, so tender, gentle, sensitive, and loving!
[pg 172]A sentence of Faber's may sound unnatural to us, so little spiritually minded: he says, "God sometimes draws us to Him, and fills us with love for Him, not that He may love us, that He always does, but in order to make us feel how He loves us!"
An Act of Love demands but a few moments. The whole of the day, even in the midst of labor, we can multiply it infinitely, and what wonders are wrought by each Act!
Jesus Himself is glorified, and He sheds abundant grace upon the earth.
Our Guardian Angel, beholding us, listens, draws nearer, and makes us feel we have done right.
The Angels above experience a sudden joy, and look upon us tenderly.
Evil spirits feel their power diminished, and there is a moment of rest from the temptation that surrounds us.
The choir of saints above renew their songs of praise.
[pg 173]Each soul on earth feels the peace Divine.
Ah! which of us each day would not renew these Acts of Love to God!
Ah! all who read these lines, pause for one moment, and from the bottom of your heart exclaim, "My God, I love Thee! My God, I love Thee!"
XIV.
Be Serious
A statesman retiring from public life occupied himself in his latter days with serious thoughts.
The friends who came to visit him, reproached him with being melancholy. "No," he replied; "I am only serious. All around me is serious, and I feel the need that heart and mind should be in unison with my surroundings."
"For," he added, with such solemnity as to impress all present, "God is serious as He watches us. Jesus [pg 174] is serious when He intercedes for us. The Holy Spirit is serious when He guides us. Satan is serious when he tempts us. The wicked in hell are serious now, because they neglected to be so when on earth; all is serious in that world whither we are wending."
Oh, my friends! believe me, it is all true; let us at least at times be serious in our thoughts and in our actions.
XV.
Consolation
You distress yourself sometimes, poor thing! because amongst those who surround you, there are one or two who worry and annoy you. They do not like you, find fault with everything you do, they meet you with a severe countenance and austere manner, you think they do you harm, you look upon them as obstacles to your doing good.
[pg 175]Your life passes away saddened and faded, and gradually you become disheartened. Courage! instead of vexing yourself, thank God; these very persons are the means of preserving you from humiliating faults, perhaps even greater sins.
It is like the blister the doctor applies, to draw out the inflammation that would kill.
God sees that too much joy, too much happiness, procured by those little attentions for which you are so eager, would make you careless and slothful in prayer; too much affection would only enervate, and you would cling too much to earthly things; so in order to preserve your heart in all its tenderness and simplicity, He plants there a few thorns, and cuts you off from all the pleasures you fancy yours by right. God knows that too much praise would cause pride, and make you less forbearing to others, [pg 176] and so He sends instead humiliations. Let them be, then, these persons who unconsciously are doing God's work within you.
If you cannot love them from sympathy, love with an effort of the will, and say to God, "My God, grant that without offending Thee, they may work my sanctification. I have need of them."
XVI.
Holy Communion
The result of a good Communion is, within, a fear of a sin, without, a love for others.
Holy Communion is a great aid to sanctification.
Jesus visits the soul, working in it, and filling it with His Grace, which is shed on all around, as the sun sheds forth its light, the fire gives out its heat.
It is impossible but that Christ, [pg 177] thus visiting the soul, should not leave something Christ-like within, if only the soul be disposed to receive it. Fire, whose property is to give warmth, cannot produce that effect unless the body be placed near enough to be penetrated with the heat.
Does not this simple thought explain the reason that there is often so little result from our frequent Communions?
Do you long at each Communion to receive the grace bestowed by Christ that shall little by little fit you for heaven hereafter?
Will you, receiving thus the God of Peace within, have for those around you kind words that shall fill them with calmness, resignation, and peace?
Will you, receiving thus the God of Love, gradually increase in tenderness and love that will urge you to sacrifice yourself for others, loving them as Christ would have loved them?
[pg 178]Will you, receiving Him you rightly name the Gracious God, become yourself gracious, gracious to sympathize, gracious to forbear, gracious to pardon, and thus in a small way resemble the God Who gave Himself for thee?
This should be your resolve when about to communicate.
Resolved: to obey God's Commandments in all their extensiveness, never hesitating in a question of duty, no matter how hard it may be; the duty of forgiving and forgetting some injustice or undeserved rebuke; accepting cheerfully a position contrary to your wishes and inclinations; application to some labor, distasteful, and seemingly beyond your strength....
If your duty seems almost impossible to fulfil, ask yourself, "Is this God's Will for me?" and if conscience answers yes, then reply also, I will do it.
[pg 179]All difficulties vanish after Holy Communion.
Generous: depriving yourself those days of Communion of some pleasures which though harmless in themselves, you know, only too well, enfeeble your devotion, excite your feelings, and leave you weaker than before. Generous means doing over and above what duty requires of us.
Conscientious and upright: not seeking to find out if some forbidden thing is really a sin or not, and whether it may not in some way be reconciled to conscience.
Oh! how hurtful are these waverings between God and the world, duty and pleasure, obedience and allurements. Did Jesus Christ hesitate to die for you? and yet you hesitate! Coward!
Humble and meek: treading peacefully the road marked out for you by Providence, sometimes weeping, often [pg 180] suffering, but free from anxiety, awaiting the loving support that never fails those who trust and renew their strength day by day. Living quietly, loving neither the world nor its praise, working contentedly in that state of life to which you are called, doing good, regardless of man's knowledge and approval, content that others should be more honored, more esteemed, having only one ambition,—to love God, and be loved by Him.
If this be the disposition of your soul, then be sure each Communion will be blessed to you, make you more holy, more like Christ, with more taste and love for the things of God, more sure of glory hereafter.
XVII.
After Holy Communion
SELF-SACRIFICE
Lord! take me and lead me whithersoever Thou willest! Is it Thy Will that my life be spent in the midst of such incessant toil and tumult that no time is left for those brief moments of leisure of which I sometimes dream?
Yes! yes! I wish it also!
Is it Thy Will that lonely and sorrowful I am left on earth, while those I loved have gone to dwell near Thee above?
Yes! yes! I wish it also!
Is it Thy Will that unknown by all, misunderstood even by those whose affection I prize, I am looked upon as useless, on account of my stupidity, want of manner, or bad health?
Yes! yes! I wish it also!
Thou art Ruler. O my God! only [pg 182] be Thyself the Guide, and abide with me forever!
MY MEMORY
My Memory! the mysterious book—reflection of that of eternity, in which at each moment are inscribed my thoughts, affections, and desires.
Into Thy Hands I commend it, Lord, that Thou alone mayst write there, Thou alone efface!
Leave there, Lord, the remembrance of my sins, but efface forever the pleasures that led to them—were I to catch but a glimpse of their enticing sweetness, I might again desire them. Leave there the sweet memories of childhood, when I loved Thee with such simplicity, and my father, my mother, my family, were my sole affections. Those days, when the slightest untruthfulness, or even the fear of having sinned, left me no peace till I had confessed it to my mother. Those [pg 183] days, when I always felt my Guardian Angel near me, helping me in my work, and soothing my little troubles!
Leave me the remembrance of my first sense of the Divine absolution, when my heart overflowing with secret joy, I cried, I am forgiven, I am forgiven!
And then the recollection of my first Communion! oh, recall it to me, Lord, with its preparation so fearful, yet so loving; its joy so calm, so holy, yet so sweet, that even now the thought of it fills mine eyes with tears!
Leave me the remembrance of Thy Benefits! each year of my life is crowned with blessings ... at ten ... fifteen ... eighteen ... twenty years ... oh! I can well recall all Thy goodness to me, my God! Yes, receive my memory, blot out all that can estrange me from Thee, and grant that nothing apart from Thee may again find a place there!
MY MIND
Oh! by what false lights have I been dazzled! They showed me prayer as wearisome; religious duties too absorbing; frequent Communion as useless; social duties as a heavy bondage; devotion the lot of weak minds and those without affection.... Oh, I knew well how false it was, and yet I let myself be half-convinced!
When have I ever been more zealous in labor than those days when I had fulfilled all my religious duties?
When more loving and devoted than on the days of my Communions?
When have I felt more free, more happy, than when having fulfilled all the duties of my social position?
Lord, receive my mind, and nourish it with Thy Truth!
Show me that apart from Thee, pleasures of the senses leave behind [pg 185] only remorse, disgust, weariness, and satiety.
Pleasures of the heart cause anxiety, bitterness, rendings, and fears.
Pleasures of the mind produce a void, vanity, jealousy, coldness, and humiliations! Teach me that all must pass away ... that nothing is true, nothing is good, nothing is eternal, but Thou, Thou only, O my God!
MY WILL
My deeds are the result of my will, and it is the will only that makes them of any value. Oh, then to begin with, I will learn submission! What I wish, may not always be good for me; what I am bidden must be right.
O Jesus! grant me the grace of obedience, and then let me be bidden many things: works of piety, works of charity, self-renunciation, brilliant [pg 186] deeds, deeds that are ignored in my family life, or wherever I may be, there are numberless calls for all of these; Lord, behold Thy servant! may I be always ready when Thou hast need of me!
ALL THAT I HAVE
My God, how richly hast Thou blessed me!
Treasures of love, I offer them to Thee!
I have relations, dear ones, Thou knowest how I love them.... Ah, if it be Thy Will to take them from this world, before me, though I say it weeping, still I say it, Thy Will be done!
I have friends.... If it be Thy Will they should forget me, think ill of me, leave me alone, with that loneliness of heart so bitter and so keen ... I yield them to Thee!
[pg 187]I have worldly goods that give me a certain degree of comfort, by affording me the means of helping others poorer than myself.... Should it be Thy Will to deprive me of them, little by little, till at last I have only the bare necessaries of life left ... I yield them to Thee!
I have limbs that Thou hast given me. If it be Thy Will that paralysis should fetter my arms, my eyes no longer see the light, my tongue be unable to articulate, my God, I yield them to Thee!
In exchange, grant me Thy Love, Thy Grace, and then ... nothing more, only Heaven!
O Jesus, abandoned by all in the garden of Gethsemane, in need then of comfort and strength:
Jesus, Thou Who knowest that at this moment there are some on earth [pg 188] who have no strength, no comfort, no support, oh! send to them some angel who will give them a little joy, a little peace! Oh, if only I might be that messenger! What must I suffer, Lord?
If an outward trouble or inward pain be needful to make of me but for one moment a consoling angel to some poor lonely heart, oh! however keen the pain, or bitter the trouble, I pray Thee, grant it to me, Jesus!
O Jesus, in search of lips to tell the love Thou bearest for Thy children; lips to tell the poor and lonely they are not despised, the sinful they are not cast away, the timid they are not unprotected. O Jesus! grant that my lips may speak words of strength, love, comfort, and pardon. Let each day seem to me wasted that passes without my having spoken of help and sympathy, without having made some one bless Thy Name, be it but a little child.
[pg 189]O Jesus! so patient towards those who wearied Thee with their importunity and ignorance! Jesus, so long-suffering in teaching, and awaiting the hour of grace! Jesus, grant that I may be patient to listen, to teach, though over and over again I may have to instruct the same thing. Grant me help, that I may always show a smiling face, even though the importunity of some be keenly felt! and if through physical weakness I manifest ennui or weariness, grant, O Jesus, that I may speedily make amends, with loving words, for the pain I have caused.
O Jesus! Who with infinite tact didst await, seated at the roadside, the opportunity for doing good, simply asking a small service of the poor Samaritan woman Thou wouldst save, and draw to Thee.
O Jesus! grant that I may feel and understand all the pain that timidity, [pg 190] shyness, or reserve keep buried within the recesses of the soul. Grant me the tact and discretion that draws near without paining, that asks without repulsing, without humiliating, and thus enable me to bring peace and comfort to the wounded heart.
O Jesus! seeking some one as faithful dispenser of Thy blessings, grant much to me, that I may have much to bestow on others. Grant that my hands may dispense Thine alms, that they may be as Thine, when Thou didst wash the feet of Thine Apostles, working for all, helping all; let me never forget that, like Thee, I am placed on this earth to minister, not to be ministered unto.
Grant that my lips may speak comforting words and give forth cheering smiles, that I may be as the well by the roadside, where the weary traveller stoops to drink, as the shade of the tree whose branches laden with fruit [pg 191] are extended over all that pass beneath.
O Jesus! to Whom all Thy children are so dear, and whatever they may be Thou carest for them, and rememberest they are the much-loved children of God! Oh! grant that in all my intercourse with others, I may only see, love, and care for their souls, that soul for whom, O God, Thou hast died, who like myself can call Thee Father, and with whom, near Thee, I hope to dwell, throughout the ages of Eternity.