GOLD DUST
SECOND PART
I.
The Friendly Whisper
Under this title we commence a series of short counsels for each day of the week, which will be as a friendly whisper, the voice of a Guardian Angel, inspiring, as occasion presents itself, some good action, some self-denial, some little sacrifice.
We recommend that it should be placed on the writing-table, in the book we most frequently turn to, or wherever it is most likely to meet the eye. What is so often the one thing [pg 092] wanting to some devout person devoted to doing good? Simply to be reminded.
Monday
CHARITY
Be good-natured, benevolent, keep up a cheerful expression of countenance, even when alone.
That clumsiness, those brusque, rude manners, let them pass without notice.
When wishes contrary to your own prevail, yield without ill-humor, or even showing your effort; you will give pleasure, and thus be pleased yourself.
Try to please, to console, to amuse, to bestow, to thank, to help. That is all in itself so good!
Try to do some good to the souls of others! An earnest word, some encouragement, a prayer softly breathed.
Overcome your dislike and aversion to certain persons; do not shun them, [pg 093] on the contrary go and meet them. God goes before you.
Be courteous even to the troublesome individual who is always in your way. God sends him to you.
Forgive at once. Do you believe harm was intended? If so, is it not the greater merit?
Do not refuse your alms, only let your motives be pure; and in giving, give as to God.
Do not judge the guilty harshly; pity, and pray for them.
Why imagine evil intentions against yourself? cannot you see how the thought troubles and disquiets you?
Check the ironical smile hovering about your lips; you will grieve the object of it. Why cause any one pain?
Lend yourself to all. God will not suffer you to be taken advantage of if you are prompted by the spirit of Charity.
Tuesday
THE DIVINE PRESENCE
Never separate yourself from God. How sweet it is to live always near those who love us!
You cannot see God, but He is there; just as if some friend were separated from you by a curtain, which does not prevent his seeing you, and which at any moment may unfold and disclose him to your view.
When the soul is unstained by sin, and if we remain still and recollected, we can perceive God's presence in the heart, just as we see daylight penetrating a room. We may not be always conscious of this Presence, but imperceptibly it influences all our actions. Oh! however heavy may be the burden you have to bear, does it not at once become light beneath the gaze of that Father's eye?
The thought of God is never [pg 095] wearisome; why not always cherish it? Go on, without trembling, beneath the Eye of God; never fear to smile, love, hope, and enjoy all that makes life sweet.
God rejoices in our pleasures as a mother in the joys of her child.
What is contrary to God's Will, grieves Him, and does you harm, that alone you need fear,—the thought that will stain your soul; the wish that troubles your heart; that unwholesome action, that will weaken your intellect, and destroy your peace.
Never long for what God sees fit to deny.
God, beside you, will repair your blunders, provide means whereby you may atone for that sinful action by one more virtuous, wipe away the tears caused by some unmerited reproof or unkind word.
You have only to close your eyes for a moment, examine yourself, and softly murmur, "Lord, help me!"
[pg 096]Can you not hear God's Voice speaking to you? What! when He says: Bear this, I am here to aid thee; you will refuse?
He says: Continue another half-hour the work that wearies thee; and you would stop?
He says: Do not that; and you do it?
He says: Let us tread together the path of obedience; and you answer: No?
Wednesday
SELF-RENUNCIATION
Do not be afraid of that word Renunciation. To you, perhaps, it only means, weariness, restraint, ennui.
But it means also, love, perfection, sanctification.
Who cannot renounce, cannot love.
Who cannot renounce, cannot become perfect.
[pg 097]Who cannot renounce, cannot be made holy.
Self-renunciation means devotion to our duty, going on with it in spite of difficulties, disgust, ennui, want of success.
Self-renunciation is self-sacrifice, under whatever form it presents itself,—prayer, labor, love ... all that would be an obstacle, not merely to its accomplishment, but its perfection.
Self-renunciation is to root out all that encumbers the heart, all that impedes the free action of the Holy Spirit within—longings after an imaginary perfection or well-being, unreal sentiments that trouble us in prayer, in work, in slumber, that fascinate us, but the result of which is to destroy all real application.
Self-renunciation is to resist all the allurements of the senses, that would [pg 098] only give pleasure to self, and satisfy the conscience, by whispering, "It is no sin." Self-renunciation, in short, is destroying, even at the risk of much heart-rending, all in our heart, mind, imagination, that could be displeasing to God.
Renunciation is not one single action, that when once accomplished we experience relief; it means a constant sacrifice, restraint, resisting, rending, each hour, each moment, during our whole life.
But is not this a worry, a continual torment? No; not if the moving spring be love or godly fear....
Do you consider it a trouble when you make yourself less comfortable to make room for a friend who visits you?
Well! there are times when God would make you sensible of His Presence. He is with you, and to retain [pg 099] Him close, Who is all Purity, will you not be more modest in your behavior?
If you would receive Him into your heart at Holy Communion, will you not make room for Him, by rooting out that affection He has pointed out to you as dangerous, that interest, that desire, that worldly, sensual attachment?
Oh! if you only really loved.
Would you call it torture or constraint, the energy with which you shatter some poisoned cup you were almost enticed to drink?
Well! when encountering the attractive enjoyment, the material delight, which might lead you astray, or the siren voice which would allure you from your duty for a moment—then when conscience whispers, "Beware," ... would you be cowardly?
Alas, it is slowly and surely that the stream carries on to destruction the blossom that has fallen into its current.
[pg 100]It is little by little that pleasure leads on to sin the heart that lets itself be lulled by its charms.
Thursday
SUBMISSION
As soon as you awake in the morning, try to realize God stretching forth His Hand towards you, and saying, Dost thou really desire that I should watch over thee this day? and you lift up your hands towards this kind Father, and say to Him, "Yes, yes, lead me, guide me, love me; I will be very submissive!"
Beneath God's protecting Hand, is it possible that you can be sorrowful, fearful, unhappy?
No; God will allow no suffering, no trial, above what you are able to bear.
Then pass through the day, quietly and calmly, even as when a little child you had your mother always beside you.
[pg 101]You need only be careful about one thing, never to displease God, and you will see how lovingly God will direct all that concerns you—material interests, sympathies, worldly cares; you will be astonished at the sudden enlightenment that will come to you, and the wondrous peace that will result from your labor and your toil.
Then, welcome trial, sickness, ennui, privations, injustice ... all of it can only come directed by God's Hand, and will wound the soul only in order to cleanse some spot within.
Would your mother have given you a bitter dose merely for the sake of causing you suffering?
If your duty is hard, owing either to its difficulty or the distaste you feel towards it, lift your heart to God and say, "Lord, help me," ... then go on with it, even though you seem to do it imperfectly.
Should one of those moments of [pg 102] vague misgivings, that leave the soul as it were in utter darkness, come to overwhelm you, call upon God, as a child in terror cries out to its mother.
If you have sinned, oh! even then be not afraid of the merciful God, but with eyes full of tears, say to Him, "Pardon me" ... and add softly, "chastise me soon, O Lord!"
Yes, yes, dear one, be always at peace, going on quietly with your daily duties ... more than that, be always joyous.
And why not?
You who have no longer a mother to love you, and yet crave for love, God will be as a mother. You who have no brother to help you, and have so much need of support, God will be your brother. You who have no friends to comfort you, and stand so much in need of consolation, God will be your friend.
Preserve always the childlike simplicity [pg 103] which goes direct to God, and speak to Him as you would speak to your mother.
Keep that open confidence that tells Him your projects, troubles, joys, as you tell them to a brother.
Cherish those loving words that speak of all the happiness you feel, living in dependence upon Him, and trusting in His Love, just as you would tell it to the friend of your childhood.
Keep the generous heart of childhood which gives all you have to God. Let Him freely take whatever He pleases, all within and around you. Will only what He wills, desiring only what is in accordance with His Will, and finding nothing impossible that He commands.
Do you not feel something soothing and consoling in these thoughts? The longer you live, the better you will understand that true happiness is only to [pg 104] be found in a life devoted to God, and given up entirely to His Guidance.
No! no! none can harm you, unless it be God's Will, and if He allows it; be patient and humble, weep if your heart is sore, but love always, and wait ... the trial will pass away, but God will remain yours forever.
Friday
PRAYER
Oh, if you only knew what it is to pray! oh, if God would only give you the grace to love prayer! What peace to your soul, what love in your heart!
What joy would shine in your countenance, even though the tears streamed from your eyes!
Prayer, as the first cry escapes the lips, indicates to God that some one would speak to Him, and God, so good and gracious, is ever ready to listen [pg 105] (with all reverence we say it), with the prompt attention of a faithful servant, He manifests Himself to the soul with ineffable love, and says to it, "Behold Me, thou hast called Me, what dost thou desire of Me?"
To pray is to remain, so long as our prayer lasts, in the Presence of God, with the certainty that we can never weary Him, no matter what may be the subject of our prayer, or at those times when we are speechless, and as in the case of the good peasant quoted by the Curé d'Ars, we are content to place ourselves before God, with only the recollection of His Presence.
To pray is to act towards God as the child does to its mother, the poor man towards the rich, eager to do him good, the friend towards his friend, who longs to show him affection.
Prayer is the key to all celestial treasures; by it we penetrate into the midst of all the joy, strength, mercy, [pg 106] and goodness Divine, ... we receive our well-being from all around us, as the sponge plunged into the ocean imbibes without an effort the water that surrounds it ... this joy, strength, mercy, and goodness become our own.
Oh, yes! if you knew how to pray, and loved prayer, how good, useful, fruitful, and meritorious would be your life!
Nothing so elevates the soul as prayer.
God, so condescending to the soul, raises it with Him to the regions of light and love, and then, the prayer finished, the soul returns to its daily duties with a more enlightened mind, a more earnest will. It is filled with radiance divine, and sheds of its abundance upon all who approach.
If you would succeed in your study, with the success that sanctifies, pray before commencing.
If you would succeed in your [pg 107] intercourse with others, pray before becoming intimate.
Nothing so smooths and sweetens life as Prayer.
There is the solitary prayer, when the soul isolated from all creatures is alone with God and feels thus towards Him: "God and I;" God to love; I to adore, praise, glorify, thank.
God to bestow, I humbly to receive, to renounce, ask, hope, submit!...
Ah! who can tell all that passes between the soul and its God?
There is the united prayer of two friends, bound together by a holy friendship, their desires and thoughts are one, and as one they present themselves before God, crying, "Have mercy upon me!"
There is the prayer of two hearts separated by distance, made at the same hour in the same words. Soothing prayer, that each day reunites those two sad hearts torn by the agony [pg 108] of parting, and who in God's Presence, strengthened with the same Holy Spirit, recover courage to tread the road to heaven, each in its appointed sphere.
Then there is Public Prayer, that which has the special promise of God's Presence; prayer so comforting to the feeble, guilty soul, who can cry in very truth, "My prayer ascends to God, supported by the prayers of others."
Oh! if you knew how to pray, and loved prayer, how happy and faithful would be your life!
Saturday
EARNESTNESS
You love God, do you not, dear one, whom God surrounds with so much affection?
Yes, yes! I love Him!
And how do you prove to Him your love?
[pg 109]I keep myself pure and innocent, so that His Eye falling upon me may never see anything that displeases Him. I keep myself calm and quiet, and force myself to smile that He may see I am contented.
That is right, but that is not enough.
I think often of how much I owe Him, and apply myself diligently to the work He has given me to do; I bear patiently with those I dislike, with troubles that irritate me; when I am weak I call upon Him, when timid I draw near to Him, when sinful I implore pardon, and strive to do my duty more faithfully.
That is right, but that is not enough.
I lend myself to the importunities of others. I am as a slave to those who need me, and take care never to judge any one harshly.
That is right, but still it is not enough.
[pg 110]Ah! then what more can I do, good angel, thus addressing me, what can I do to show my love to God?
Devote thyself to doing good to the souls of others.
Oh, if you knew how it pleases God to see you laboring for them! It is like the joy of a mother, every time she sees some one benefiting her child.
How thankful she is to those who nursed it in sickness, spared it pain, showed it some token of affection, a counsel, a warning, that gave it pleasure, by a kind word, a plaything, a smile!
All this you may do in that circle, more or less extended, in which you live.
Leave to God's minister, if you will, the work of converting souls, and limit your efforts to doing good by bringing yourself into communion with them.
To do so, means sweetly, [pg 111] unconsciously, softly, speak to them of God, carry them to God, lead them to God.
This may be done by gently, tenderly—by inference as it were—speaking to them of God, thus leading them towards Him, bringing them into contact with Him.
Hearts are drawn together by talking of their kindred pursuits, souls by speaking of heavenly things.
It is not necessary for this purpose to pronounce the name of God; it will suffice that the words shall lift the soul beyond this material world and its sensual enjoyments, and raise them upwards to that supernatural atmosphere necessary to the real life.
Speak of the happiness of devotion, the charm of purity, the blessing of the few minutes' meditation at the feet of Jesus, the peace procured by entire resignation to Providence, and the sweetness of a life spent beneath God's Fatherly Eye, the comfort the thought [pg 112] of heaven brings in the midst of trouble, the hope of the meeting again above, the certainty of eternal happiness. This is doing good to others, drawing them nearer to God, and teaching them more and more of holiness.
Limit your efforts to this; later on I will tell you what more you may do.
Sunday
SYMPATHY
Welcome with joy each week the day that God has called His day.
To each day of the week God has given its special mission, its share of pleasure and of pain, necessary to purify and fortify and prepare us for eternity.
But Sunday is a day of Love.
On Saturday we lay aside our garments faded and stained by toil, and [pg 113] on Sunday we array ourselves in garments, not only fresher, but more choice and graceful.
Why not prepare the heart, even as we do the body?
During the week has not the heart been wearied with petty strife and discontent, interests marred, bitter words?
Then, why not shake off all this, that only chills affection? On the Saturday let us forgive freely, press the hand warmly, embrace each other; and then peace being restored within, we await the morrow's awakening.
Sunday is God's day of truce for all. That day, laying aside all revenge and ill-feeling, we must be filled with forbearance, indulgence, and amiability.
Oh! how good for us to feel obliged to be reconciled, and each Sunday renews the obligation.
Let us leave no time for coldness [pg 114] and indifference to grow upon us ... it only engenders hatred, and that once established in the heart, oh! how hard is it to cast out again!
It is like a hideous cancer whose ravages no remedies can stay.
It is as the venomous plant that the gardener can never entirely eradicate. Only by a miracle can hatred be destroyed. At once then let us place a barrier in our hearts against the approach of coolness or indifference, and each Saturday night the head of the family shall thus address us: "Children, to-night we forgive, to-night we forget, and to-morrow begin life afresh in love, one towards another."
II.
When I have sinned, wrote a pious soul, I feel chastisement will fall upon me, and as if I could hide myself from God's Eye. I shrink into myself, and then I pray, I pray, [pg 115] and the chastisement not being sent, I again expand.
Chastisement is like a stone threatening to crush me; Prayer is the hand that withholds it while I make atonement.
Oh! how can those live peacefully who never pray?
III.
Our Dead
They are not all there—our dead—buried in the churchyard, beneath the grave, o'ershadowed by a cross, and round which the roses bloom.
There are others which nothing can recall; they are things which belong to the heart alone, and there alas! have found a tomb.
Peace surrounds me to-day; and here in my lone chamber I will invoke them, my much-loved dead. Come!
The first that present themselves are the sweet years of childhood, so fresh, so guileless, so happy.
They were made up of loving caresses, bountiful rewards, and fearless confidence: the words, pain, danger, care, were unknown; they brought me simple pleasures, happy days without a thought for the morrow, and only required from me a little obedience.
Alas! they are dead ... and what numberless things have they carried with them! What a void they have left!
Candor, lightheartedness, simplicity, no longer find a place within!
Family ties, so true, so wide, so light, have all vanished!
The homely hearth, the simple reward earned by the day's industry, maternal chidings, forgiveness so ingenuously sought, so freely given, promises of amendment, so sincere, [pg 117] so joyously received.... Is this all gone forever? can I never recall them?
The vision that follows is that of my early piety, simple and full of faith, which was as some good angel o'ershadowing me with its snowy wings, and showing me God everywhere, in all, and with all.
The good God, Who each day provides my daily bread!
The God, Who spared my mother in sickness, and relieved her when she suffered—God, Who shielded me from harm when I did right!
The God, Who sees all, knows all, and is Omnipotent, Whom I loved with all my heart.
Alas! faithful, simple piety, thou art dead; in innocence alone couldst thou live!
Next comes the love of my earliest years. Love in childhood, love in youth, so full of true, simple joy, that initiated me in the sweet pleasure of [pg 118] devotion, that taught me self-denial in order to give pleasure, that destroyed all egotism, by showing me the happiness of living for others.
Love of my childhood, love of my youth, so pure, so holy, on which I always reckoned when they spoke to me of trouble, loneliness, depression ... thou also art dead.
An involuntary coolness, an unfounded suspicion never cleared, an ill-natured story ... all these have destroyed that child of Heaven. I knew it was tender, and I cherished it, but I could not believe it to be so frail.
I could make a long list of all the dead enshrined in my heart! Oh, you who are still young, upon whom God has lavished all the gifts that are lost to me,—candor, simplicity, innocence, love, devotion ... guard, oh, guard these treasures, and that they may never die, place them beneath the shelter of Prayer.
IV.
The Spiritual Life
What a sweet life is that! The maintaining, strengthening it, has a softening influence; and it is a labor that never wearies, never deceives, but gives each day fresh cause for joy.
In the language of devotion, it is called the interior life; and it is our purpose to point out minutely its nature, excellence, means, and hindrances.
Let no one think the interior life is incompatible with the life domestic and social, which is often so engrossing; just as the action of the heart maintained by the constant flow of blood in no way affects the outward movements, so is it with the life of the soul, which consists chiefly in the action of God's Holy Spirit within, that never hinders our social duties, but on [pg 120] the contrary is a help towards fulfilling them more calmly, more perfectly.
Nature of the Interior Life
The interior life is an abiding sense of God's Presence, a constant union with Him.
We learn to look upon the heart as the temple where God dwells, sometimes glorious as above, sometimes hidden as in the Holy Eucharist; and we act, think, speak, and fulfil all our duties, as in His Presence.
Its aim is to shun sin, and cultivate a detachment from all earthly things by a spirit of poverty; sensual pleasures by purity and mortification; pride by humility; dissipation by recollection.
As a rule, people are prejudiced against an interior life. Some are afraid of it, and look upon it as a life of bondage, sacrifice, and restraint: [pg 121] others despise it, as nothing but a multiplicity of trifling rules, tending only to narrow-mindedness and uselessness, and fit only for weak minds. In consequence they are on their guard against it, and avoid the books that treat of it.
They would serve God no doubt, but they will not subject themselves to the entire guidance of His Spirit; in short, it is far easier to bring a soul from a state of sin to that of grace, than it is to lead a busy, active, zealous person to the hidden, contemplative life of the soul.
Excellence of the Interior Life
God dwelling within us, the life of Christ Himself, when on earth, living always in His Father's Presence.
It is the life of which S. Paul speaks when he says, "nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me."
[pg 122]All saints must lead this life, and their degree of holiness is in proportion to the perfection of their union with God.
Christ animates their souls, even as the soul animates the body.
They own Christ as Master, Counsellor, and Guide; and nothing is done without submitting it to Him, and imploring His aid and approval.
Christ is their strength, their refuge, their defender.
They live in constant dependence upon Him, as their Father, Protector, and all-powerful King.
They are drawn to Him, as the child is drawn by love, the poor by need.
They let themselves be guided by Him, as the blind let themselves be led by the child in whom they confide; they bear all suffering that comes from Him, as the sick, in order to be healed, bear suffering at the hands of a physician; and they lean on Him, [pg 123] as the child leans on its mother's breast.
It lifts them above the troubles and miseries of life; the whole world may seem a prey to calamities; themselves, deprived of their goods through injustice or accident; they lose their relations through death, their friends through treachery or forgetfulness, their reputation and honor from slander, a serious illness deprives them of health, their happiness is destroyed by hardness and temptations.... Ah! no doubt, they will have these trials, no doubt they must shed bitter tears, but still God's peace will remain to them, the peace that passeth all understanding; they will realize God has ordered it, guided it with His Hand Divine, and they will be able to exclaim with joy, "Thou art left to us, and Thou art all-sufficient!"
Acts of the Interior Life
1. See God, that is to say, be always realizing His Presence, feeling Him near, as the friend from Whom we would never be separated, in work, in prayer, in recreation, in repose. God is not importunate, He never wearies, He is so gracious and merciful, His Hand directs everything, and He will not "suffer us to be tempted above that we are able."
2. Listen to God: be attentive to His counsels, His warnings; we hear His Voice in those Gospel words that recur to our minds, in the good thoughts that suddenly dawn on us, the devout words that meet us in some book, on a sheet of paper, or falling from the lips of a preacher, a friend, or even a stranger.
3. Speak to God: hold converse with Him, more with the heart than the lips, in the early morning's meditation, [pg 125] ejaculatory prayer, vocal prayer, and above all in Holy Communion.
4. Love God: be devoted to Him, and Him alone; have no affection apart from Him; restrain the love that would estrange us from Him; lend ourselves to all, out of love to Him, but give ourselves to Him alone.
5. Think of God: reject whatever excludes the thought of Him. Of course, we must fulfil our daily duties, accomplishing them with all the perfection of which we are capable; but they must be done as beneath the Eye of God, with the thought that God has commanded them, and that to do them carefully is pleasing in His sight.
Means by which to Attain the Interior Life
1. Great tenderness of Conscience, secured by constant, regular, and [pg 126] earnest confession to God, a hatred of all sin, imperfection, infidelity, by calmly but resolutely fleeing every occasion of it.
2. Great purity of heart, by detachment from all earthly things,—wealth, luxuries, fame, kindred, friends, tastes, even life itself ... not that we need fail in love to our kindred and friends, but we must only let the thought of them abide in the heart as united to the love and thought of God.
3. Great purity of mind, carefully excluding from it all useless, distracting thoughts as to past, present, or future; all preoccupation over some pet employment; all desire to be known, and thought well of.
4. Great purity of action, only undertaking what lies in the path of duty; controlling natural eagerness and activity; acting soberly, with the help of the Holy Spirit, the thought that by our deeds we glorify God: [pg 127] pausing for a moment, when passing from one occupation to another, in order to direct aright the intention; and taking care to be always occupied in what is useful and beneficial.
5. Great recollectedness and self-mortification; avoiding, as much as we can in keeping with our social position, all dissipation, bustle, disturbance; never allowing voluntarily, useless desires, looks, words, or pleasures, but placing them under the rule of reason, decorum, edification, and love; taking care that our prayers be said slowly and carefully, articulating each word, and trying to feel the truth of what we are saying.
6. Great care and exactitude in all the ordinary actions of life, above all in the exercises of religion; leaving nothing to chance or hazard; beholding in everything God's overruling Will, and saying to one's self sometimes, as the hour for such and such [pg 128] duty arrives, "I must hasten, God is calling me."
7. Much intercourse with God; speaking to Him with simplicity, loving Him dearly, always consulting Him, rendering to Him an account of every action, thanking Him constantly, and above all, drawing near to Him with joy in the Holy Eucharist. One great help towards such sweet communion with God, will be found in a steady perseverance in the early morning's meditation.
8. Much love for our neighbor, because he is the much-loved child of God, praying for him, comforting, teaching, strengthening, and helping him in all difficulties.
Hindrances to the Interior Life
1. Natural activity, always urging us on, and making us too precipitate in all our actions.
[pg 129]It shows itself:—
In our projects, which it multiplies, heaps up, reforms, and upsets. It allows of no rest, until what it has undertaken is accomplished.
In our actions. Activity is absolutely necessary to us. We load ourselves with a thousand things beyond our duty, sometimes even contrary to it. Everything is done with impetuosity and haste, anxiety and impatience to see the end.
In our conversation. Activity makes us speak without thinking, interrupting rudely, reproving hastily, judging without appreciation. We speak loudly, disputing, murmuring, and losing our temper.
In prayer. We burden ourselves with numberless prayers, repeated carelessly, without attention, and with impatience to get to the end of them; it interferes with our meditations, wearies, torments, fatigues the brain, [pg 130] drying up the soul, and hindering the work of the Holy Spirit.
2. Curiosity lays the soul open to all external things, fills it with a thousand fancies and questionings, pleasing or vexatious, absorbing the mind, and making it quite impossible to retire within one's self and be recollected. Then follow distaste, sloth, and ennui for all that savors of silence, retirement, and meditation.
Curiosity shows itself, when studies are undertaken from vanity, a desire to know all things, and to pass as clever, rather than the real wish to learn in order to be useful—in reading, when the spare time is given up to history, papers, and novels—in walking, when our steps would lead us where the crowd go to see, to know, only in order to have something to retail; in fact, it manifests itself in a thousand little actions; for instance, pressing forward with feverish haste to open a [pg 131] letter addressed to us, longing eagerly to see anything that presents itself, always being the first to tell any piece of news.... When we forget God, He is driven from the heart, leaving it void, and then ensues that wild craving to fill up the void with anything with which we may come into contact.
3. Cowardice. God does not forbid patient, submissive pleading, but murmuring fears are displeasing to Him, and He withdraws from the soul that will not lean on Him. Cowardice manifests itself when in the trials of life we rebel against the Divine will that sends us illness, calumny, privation, desertion; when in dryness of soul we leave off our prayers and communions because we feel no sensible sweetness in them; when we feel a sickness of the soul that makes us uneasy, and fearful that God has forsaken us.
[pg 132]The soul estranged from God seeks diversion in the world; but in the midst of the world, God is not to be found; when temptations come, wearied, frightened, and tormented, we wander farther and farther away from Him, crying, "I am forsaken," when the trial has really been sent in order to keep us on our guard, prevent our becoming proud, and offering us an opportunity for showing our love.