"Whose hands are they?" Elizabeth asked.
"In Mr. Landholm's. — He'll set it right, if anybody can. I know he will. Never saw such a fellow. Mrs. Haye — thank you — this bread and butter is all sufficient. Uncommon to have a friend for one's lawyer, and to know he is both a friend and a lawyer."
"Rather uncommon," said Elizabeth.
"Is Winthrop Landholm your friend?" said Rose dryly.
"Yes! The best friend I've got. I'd do anything in the world for that fellow. He deserves it."
"Mr. Satterthwaite," said Elizabeth, "that bread and butter isn't so good as these biscuits — try one."
"He don't deserve it from everybody!" said Rose, as Mr.
Satterthwaite gratefully took a biscuit.
"Why not?"
"He don't deserve it from me. I've known him to do unhandsome things. Mean!"
"Winthrop Landholm! — My dear Mrs. Haye, you are under some misapprehension. I'll stake my reputation he never did an unhandsome or a mean thing. He couldn't."
"He did," said Rose.
"Will you favour me with the particulars you have heard?"
"I haven't heard," said Rose, — "I know."
"You have heard!" said Elizabeth sternly, — "and only heard.
You forget. You may not have understood anything right."
The gentleman looked in a little astonishment from the bright- coloured cheeks of one lady to the cloudy brow of the other; but as neither added anything further, he took up the matter.
"I am almost certain Miss Elizabeth is right. I am sure Mr. Landholm would not do what you suspect him of. He could not do it."
"He is mortal, I suppose," said Rose sourly, "and so he would do what other mortals do."
"He is better than some other mortals," said Mr. Satterthwaite. "I am not a religious man myself; but if anything would make me believe in it, it would be that man."
"Don't you 'believe in it,' Mr. Satterthwaite?" asked
Elizabeth.
"In a sort of way, yes, I do; — I suppose it's a thing one must come to at last."
"If you want to come to it at last, I should think you would at first," said Elizabeth, "I would. I shouldn't think it was a very safe way to put it off."
Mr. Satterthwaite mused over his tea and made no answer; clearly the conversation had got upon the wrong tack.
"Are you going to be in court to-morrow again, Mr.
Satterthwaite?" asked the lady of the house.
"I don't know — not for my own affairs — I don't know but I shall go in to hear Winthrop's cause come on against Mr. Ryle."
"I never was in court in my life," said Elizabeth.
"Suppose you go, Miss Elizabeth — If you'll allow me to have the honour of taking care of you, I shall be very happy. There'll be something to hear, between Chancellor Justice and my friend Winthrop and Mr. Brick."
"Is Mr. Brick going to speak to-morrow?" said Rose.
"Yes — he is on the other side."
"Let's go, Lizzie," said her cousin. "Will you take me too,
Mr. Brick? — Mr. Satterthwaite, I mean."
Mr. Satterthwaite declared himself honoured, prospectively; Elizabeth put no objection of her own in the way; and the scheme was agreed on.
The morrow came, and at the proper hour the trio repaired to the City Hall and mounted its high white steps.
"Don't you feel afraid, Lizzie, to be coming here?" said her cousin. "I do."
"Afraid of what, Mrs. Haye?" inquired their attendant.
"O I don't know, — it looks so; — it makes me think of prisoners and judges and all such awful things!"
Mr. Satterthwaite laughed, and stole a glance beyond Mrs. Haye to see what the other lady was thinking of. But Elizabeth said nothing and looked nothing; she marched on like an automaton beside her two companions, through the great halls, one after another, till the room was reached and they had secured their seats. Then certainly no one who had looked at her face would have taken it for an automaton. Though she was as still as a piece of machine-work, except the face. Rose was in a fidget of business, and the tip of her bonnet's white feather executed all manner of arcs and curves in the air, within imminent distance of Mr. Satterthwaite's face.
"Who's who? — and where's anybody, Mr. Satterthwaite," she inquired.
"That's the Chancellor, sitting up there at the end, do you see? — Sitting alone, and leaning back in his chair."
"That?" said Rose. "I see. Is that Chancellor Justice? A fine- looking man, very, isn't he?"
"Well — I suppose he is," said Mr. Satterthwaite. "He's a strong man."
"Strong?" said Rose; — "is he? Lizzie! — isn't Chancellor
Justice a fine-looking man?"
"Fine-looking?" — said Elizabeth, bringing her eyes in the
Chancellor's direction. "No, I should think not."
"Is there anybody that is fine-looking here?" whispered Rose in Elizabeth's bonnet.
"Our tastes are so different, it is impossible for one to tell what will please the other," replied Elizabeth coolly.
"Where's Mr. Landholm, Mr. Satterthwaite?"
"Winthrop? — He is down there — don't you see him?"
"'Down there?'" said Rose, — "There are a great many people down there —"
"There's Mr. Herder shaking hands with him now —"
"Mr. Herder? — Lizzie, do you see them?"
"Who?"
"Winthrop Landholm and Mr. Herder."
"Yes."
"Where are they?"
"Hush —"
For just then proceedings began, and Rose's tongue for a few minutes gave way in favour of her ears. And by the time she had found out that she could not make anything of what was going on, Mr. Herder had found his way to their side.
"Miss Elisabet'!" he said, — "and Mistress Haye! what has made you to come here to-day?"
"Mr. Satterthwaite wanted us to hear your favourite Mr. Landholm," said Rose, — "so I came. Lizzie didn't come for that."
Elizabeth shook hands with her friend smilingly, but said never a word as to why she was there.
"Winthrop is good to hear," said Mr. Herder, "when you can understand him. He knows how to speak. I can understand him — but I cannot understand Mr. Brick — I cannot make nozing of him when he speaks."
"What are they doing to-day, Mr. Herder?" said Elizabeth.
"It is the cause of my brother-in-law, Jean Lansing, against Mr. Ryle, — he thinks that Mr. Ryle has got some of his money, and I think so too, and so Winthrop thinks; but nobody knows, except Mr. Ryle — he knows all of it. Winthrop has been asking some questions about it, to Mr. Ryle and Mr. Brick" —
"When?"
"O a little while ago — a few weeks; — and they say no, — they do not choose to make answer to his questions. Now Winthrop is going to see if the Chancellor will not make that they must tell what he wants to know; and Mr. Brick will fight so hard as he can not to tell. But Winthrop will get what he wants."
"How do you know, Mr. Herder?"
"He does, always."
"What does he want, Mr. Herder?" said Rose.
"It is my brother-in-law's business," said the naturalist. "He wants to know if Mr. Ryle have not got a good deal of his money someveres; and Mr. Ryle, he does not want to say nozing about it; and Winthrop and Mr. Brick, they fight; and the Chancellor he says, 'Mr. Landholm, you have the right; Mr Brick, you do what he tell you.'"
"Then why isn't the cause ended?" said Elizabeth.
"Because we have not found out all yet; we are pushing them, Mr. Ryle and Mr. Brick, leetle by leetle, into the corner; and when we get 'em into the corner, then they will have to pay us to get out."
"You seem very sure about it, Mr. Herder," said Rose.
"I do not know," said the naturalist. "I am not much afraid.
My friend Winthrop — he knows what he is doing."
And to that gentleman the party presently gave their attention; as also did the sturdy strong face of Mr. Justice the Chancellor, and the extremely different physiognomy of Mr. Dustus Brick.
Winthrop and Mr. Brick spoke alternately; and as this was the case on each point, or question, — as Mr. Herder called them, — and as one at least of the speakers was particularly clear and happy in setting forth his meaning, the listeners were kept from weariness and rewarded, those of them that had minds for it, with some intellectual pleasure. It was pretty much on this occasion as Mr. Herder had given the general course of the suit to be; after every opening of a matter on Winthrop's part, the Chancellor would say, very curtly,
"I allow that exception! Mr. Brick, what have you got to say?" —
Mr. Brick generally had a good deal to say. He seemed to multiply his defences in proportion to the little he had to defend; in strong contrast to his antagonist's short, nervous, home-thrust arguments. The Court generally seemed tired with Mr. Brick.
"Oh that man! — I wish he would stop!" said Rose.
Elizabeth, who for the most part was as still as a mouse, glanced round at these words, one of her few and rare secondings of anything said by her cousin. She did not know that her glance shewed cheeks of fire, and eyes all the power of which seemed to be in full life.
"Can you understand that man?" said the naturalist.
"He don't understand himself," said Elizabeth.
"I don't understand anybody," said Rose. "But I like to hear the Chancellor speak — he's so funny, — only I'm getting tired. I wish he would stop that man. Oh that Mr. Brick! — Now see the Chancellor! —"
"I've decided that point, Mr. Brick!"
Mr. Brick could not think it decided. At least it seemed so, for he went on.
"What a stupid man!" said Rose.
"He will have the last word," said Mr. Herder.
"Miss Haye, are you tired?" asked Mr. Satterthwaite, leaning past the white feather.
"I? — No."
"I am," said Rose. "And so is the Chancellor. Now look at him —"
"Mr. Brick — I have decided that point!" came from the lips of
Mr. Justice, a little more curtly than before.
"Now he will stop, —" said Rose.
No — Mr. Brick was unmoveable.
"Very well!" said the Chancellor, throwing himself half way round on his chair with a jerk — "you may go on, and I'll read the newspaper! —"
Which he did, amid a general titter that went round the courtroom, till the discomfited Mr. Brick came to a stand. And Winthrop rose for his next point.
"Are you going to wait till it's all done, Mr. Herder?" said Rose. "I'm tired to death. Lizzie — Lizzie!" — she urged, pulling her cousin's shoulder.
"What!" said Elizabeth, giving her another sight of the same face that had flashed upon her half an hour before.
"My goodness!" said Rose. "What's the matter with you?"
"What do you want? —" said Elizabeth with a sort of fiery impatience, into which not a little disdain found its way.
"You are not interested, are you?" said Rose with a satirical smile.
"Of course I am!" —
"In that man, Lizzie?"
"What do you want!" said Elizabeth, answering the whisper in a plain voice.
"I want to go home."
"I'm not ready to go yet."
And her head went round to its former position.
"Lizzie — Lizzie!" urged Rose in a whisper, — "How can you listen to that man! — you oughtn't to. — Lizzie! —"
"Hush, Rose! be quiet! — I will listen. Let me alone."
Nor could Rose move her again by words, whispers, or pulls of her shoulder. "I am not ready," —she would coolly reply. Mrs. Haye was in despair, but constrained to keep it to herself for fear she should be obliged to accept an escort home, and because of an undefined unwillingness to leave Elizabeth there alone. She had to wait, and play the agreeable to Mr. Satterthwaite, for both her other companions were busy listening; until Winthrop had finished his argument, and the Chancellor had nodded,
"I allow that exception, Mr. Landholm — it is well taken — Mr.
Brick, what have you to say?" —
Mr. Brick rose to respond. Elizabeth rose too then, and faced about upon her companions, giving them this silent notice, for she deigned no word, that she was willing Rose's pleasure should take its course. Mr. Satterthwaite was quite ready, and they went home; Elizabeth changed to an automaton again.
But when she got into her own room she sat down, without taking off her bonnet, to think.
"This is that farmer's boy that father wouldn't help — and that he has managed to separate from himself — and from me! What did I go there for to-day? Not for my own happiness — And now perhaps I shall never see him again. But I am glad I did go; — if that is the last."
And spring months and summer months succeeded each other; and she did not see him again.
CHAPTER VII
Since he doth lack
Of going back
Little, whose will
Doth urge him to run wrong, or to stand still.
BEN JONSON.
One of the warm evenings in that summer, when the windows were all open of Winthrop's attic and the candles flared in the soft breeze from the sea, Rufus came in. Winthrop only gave him a look and a smile from his papers as he appeared; and Rufus flung himself, or rather dropped down, upon the empty couch where Winnie used to lie. Perhaps the thought of her came to him, for he looked exceedingly sober; only he had done that ever since he shewed his face at the door. For some minutes he sat in absorbed contemplation of Winthrop, or of somewhat else; he was certainly looking at him. Winthrop looked at nothing but his papers; and the rustling of them was all that was heard, beside the soft rush of the wind.
"Always at work?" said Rufus, in a dismal tone, half desponding and wholly disconsolate.
"Try to be. —"
"Why don't you snuff those candles?" was the next question, given with a good deal more life.
"I didn't know you wanted more light," said Winthrop, stopping to put in order the unruly wicks his brother referred to.
"What are you at there?"
"A long answer in chancery."
"Ryle's?"
"No — Mr. Eversham's case."
"How does Ryle's business get on?"
"Very satisfactorily. I've got light upon that now."
"What's the last thing done?"
"The last thing I did was to file a replication, bringing the cause to an issue for proofs; and proofs are now taking before an Examiner."
"You have succeeded in every step in that cause?"
"In every step."
"The steps must have been well taken."
Winthrop was silent, going on with his 'answer.'
"How much do you expect you'll get from them?"
"Can't tell yet. I somewhat expect to recover a very large sum."
"Winthrop — I wish I was a lawyer —" Rufus said presently with a sigh.
"Why?" said his brother calmly.
"I should — or at least I might — be doing something."
"Then you think all the work of the world rests upon the shoulders of lawyers? I knew they had a good deal to do, but not so much as that."
"I don't see anything for me to do," Rufus said despondingly.
Rufus got off his couch and began gloomily to walk up and down.
"How easily those who are doing well themselves can bear the ill haps of their friends!" he said.
Winthrop went back to his papers and studied them, with his usual calm face and in silence, for some time. Rufus walked and cogitated for half an hour.
"I ought not to have said that, Winthrop," were his first words. "But now look at me!"
"With pleasure," said Winthrop laying down his 'answer' — "I have looked at many a worse man."
"Can't you be serious?" said Rufus, a provoked smile forcing itself upon him.
"I thought I was rarely anything else," said Winthrop. "But now I look at you, I don't see anything in the world the matter."
"Yet look at our different positions — yours and mine."
"I'd as lieve be excused," said Winthrop. "You always made the best show, in any position."
"Other people don't think so," said Rufus, turning with a curious struggle of feeling in his face, and turning to hide it in his walk up and down.
"What ails you, Will? — I don't know what you mean."
"You deserve it!" said Rufus, swallowing something in his mind apparently, that cost him some trouble.
"I don't know what I deserve," said Winthrop gravely. "I am afraid I have not got it."
"How oddly and rightly we were nicknamed in childhood!" Rufus went on bitterly, half communing with himself. — "I for fiery impulse, and you for calm rule."
"I don't want to rule," said Winthrop half laughing. "And I assure you I make no effort after it."
"You do it, and always will. You have the love and respect and admiration of everybody that knows you — in a very high degree; and there is not a soul in the world that cares for me, except yourself."
"I do not think that is true, Will," said Winthrop after a little pause. "But even suppose it were — those are not the things one lives for."
"What does one live for then!" Rufus said almost fiercely.
"At least they are not what I live for," said Winthrop correcting himself.
"What do you live for?"
His brother hesitated.
"For another sort of approbation — That I may hear 'Well done,' from the lips of my King, — by and by."
Rufus bit his lip and for several turns walked the room in silence — evidently because he could not speak. Perhaps the words, 'Them that honour me, I will honour,' — might have come to his mind. But when at last he began to talk, it was not upon that theme.
"Governor," — he said in a quieter tone, — "I wish you would help me."
"I will — if I can."
"Tell me what I shall do."
"Tell me your own thoughts first, Will."
"I have hardly any. The world at large seems a wretched and utter blank to me."
"Make your mark on it, then."
"Ah! — that is what we used to say. — I don't see how it is to be done."
"It is to be done in many ways, Rufus; in many courses of action; and there is hardly one you can set your hand to, in which it may not be done."
Rufus again struggled with some feeling that was too much for him.
"Your notions have changed a little from the old ones, — and I have kept mine," he said.
"I spoke of making your mark, — not of being seen to do it," his brother returned.
Again Rufus was silent.
"Well but the question is not of that now," he said, "but of doing something; — to escape from the dishonour and the misery of doing nothing."
"Still you have not told me your thoughts, Will. You are not fit for a merchant."
"I'll never enter a counting-house again! — for anything!" was
Rufus's reply.
"If I were in your place, I should take up my old trade of engineering again, just where I left it off."
Rufus walked, and walked.
"But I am fit for better things," — he said at length.
"Then you are fit for that."
"I suppose that follows," said Rufus with some disdainful expression.
"There is no more respectable profession."
"It gives a man small chance to distinguish himself," said
Rufus, — "and it takes one out of the world."
"Distinction may be attained almost anywhere," said Winthrop.
"'Who sweeps a room as for thy laws,
"'Makes that and th' action fine.'"
"I should like to see you do it!" was Rufus's scornful rejoinder.
"What?"
"Sweep rooms by way of distinction."
"I don't know about the distinction," said Winthrop; "but the thing you may see me do any morning, if you come at the right hour."
"Sweep these rooms?"
"With a broomstick."
"Why Winthrop, that's beneath you!"
"I have been thinking so lately," said Winthrop. "It wasn't, in the days when I couldn't afford to pay any one for doing it; and those days reached down to a very late point."
"Afford!" said Rufus, standing still in his walk; — "Why you have made money enough ever since you began practice, to afford such a thing as that."
"Ay — if I could have put it all on the floor."
"Where had you to put it?"
"I had Mr. Inchbald to reward for his long trust in me, and Mr. Herder to reimburse for his kindness, — and some other sources of expenditure to meet."
"Mr. Herder could have been paid out of the costs of this lawsuit."
"No, he couldn't."
"And thereupon, you would recommend the profession of a street-sweeper to me!" said Rufus, beginning his walk with renewed energy.
"On the whole, I think I would not," said Winthrop gravely. "I am of opinion you can do something better."
"I don't like engineering!" said Rufus presently.
"What do you like?"
Rufus stopped and stood looking thoughtfully on the table where Winthrop's papers lay.
"I consider that, to be as honourable, as useful, and I should think quite as pleasant a way of life, as the one I follow."
"Do you? —" said Rufus, looking at the long 'answer in
Chancery.'
"I would as lieve go into it to-morrow, and make over my inkstand to you, if I were only fit for that and you for this."
"Would you!" said Rufus, mentally conceding that his brother was 'fit' for anything.
"Just as lieve."
Rufus's brow lightened considerably, and he took up his walk again.
"What would you like better, Will?"
"I don't know —" said Rufus meditatively — "I believe I'll take your advice. There was an offer made to me a week or two ago — at least I was spoken to, in reference to a Southern piece of business —"
"Not another agency?"
"No — no, engineering; — but I threw it off, not thinking then, or not knowing, that I would have anything more to do with the matter — I dare say it's not too late yet."
"But Will," said his brother, "whatever choice you make now, it is your last choice."
"How do you know it is my last choice?" said Rufus.
"Because it ought to be."
Rufus took to silence and meditating again.
"Any profession rightly managed, will carry you to the goal of honour; but no two will, ridden alternately."
"It seems so," said Rufus bitterly.
And he walked and meditated, back and forth through the room; while Winthrop lost himself in his 'answer.' The silence lasted this time till Rufus came up to the table and extending his hand bid his brother 'good night.'
"Are you going?" said Winthrop starting up.
"Yes — going; and going South, and going to be an engineer, and if possible to reach the goal of honour on the back of that calling, by some mysterious road which as yet I see not."
"Stay here to-night, Will."
"No, I can't — I've got to see somebody."
"All night?"
"Why, no," said Rufus smiling. "I suppose I could come back; more especially as I am going bona fide away. By the way, Winthrop, do you know they say the yellow fever is here?"
"I know they say so."
"What will you do?"
"Nothing."
"I mean, of course, if the report is true."
"So I mean."
"But you will not stay here?"
"I think I will."
"But it would be much better to go out of town."
"If I think so, I'll go."
"I'll make you think so," said Rufus putting on his hat, — "or else I won't go engineering! I'll be back in an hour."
CHAPTER VIII.
Yea, men may wonder, while they scan
A living, thinking, feeling man,
In such a rest his heart to keep;
But angels say, — and through the word
I ween their blessed smile is heard, —
"He giveth his beloved sleep!"
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING.
Notwithstanding however Rufus's assurance, he did go off to his engineering and he did not succeed in changing his brother's mind. Winthrop abode in his place, to meet whatever the summer had in store for him.
It brought the city's old plague, though not with such fearful presence as in years past. Still the name and the dread of it were abroad, and enough of its power to justify them. Many that could, ran away from the city; and business, if it was not absolutely checked, moved sluggishly. There was much less than usual done.
There was little in Winthrop's line, certainly. Yet in the days of vacant courts and laid-by court business, the tenant of Mr. Inchbald's attic went out and came in as often as formerly. What he did with his time was best known to himself.
"I wonder how he does, now, all alone," said Mrs. Nettley to her brother.
"I've a notion he isn't so much of the time alone," said Mr. Inchbald. "He's not at home any more than he used to be, nor so much. I hear him going up or down the stairs — night and day."
"Surely there are no courts now?" said Mrs. Nettley.
"Never are in August — and especially not now, of course."
"I'm afraid he's lonesome, poor fellow!"
"Never saw a fellow look less like it," said Mr. Inchbald. "He's a strong man, he is, in his heart and mind. I should expect to see one of the pyramids of Egypt come down as soon as either of 'em. Lonesome? I never saw him look lonesome."
"He has a trick of not shewing what he feels then," said his sister. "I've seen him times when I know he felt lonesome, — though as you say, I can't say he shewed it. He's a strong build of a man, too, George."
"Like body, like mind," said her brother. "Yes. I like to see a man all of a piece. But his brother has a finer figure."
"Do you think so?" said Mrs. Nettley. "That's for a painter.
Now I like Winthrop's the best."
"That's for a woman," said Mr. Inchbald laughing. "You always like what you love."
"Well, what do you suppose he finds to keep him out so much of the time?"
"I don't know," said Mr. Inchbald, — "and I daren't ask him. I doubt some poor friends of his know."
"Why do you?"
"I can't tell you why; — something — the least trifle, once or twice, has given me the idea."
"He's a Christian to look at!" said Mrs. Nettley, busying herself round her stove and speaking in rather an undertone. "He's worse than a sermon to me, many times."
Her brother turned slowly and went out, thereby confessing, his sister thought, that Winthrop had been as bad as a sermon to him.
As he went out he saw a girl just mounting the stairs.
"Is Mr. Landholm in?" she said putting her head over the balusters.
"I don't know, my girl — I think he may be."
"I'll know before long," she rejoined, taking the stairs at a rate that shewed she meant what she said. Like no client at law that ever sought his lawyer's chambers, on any errand. Before Mr. Inchbald had reached the first landing, she was posted before the desired door, and had tapped there with very alert fingers. Winthrop opened the door.
"Clam!" — said he. — "Come in."
"Mr. Winthrop," said Clam, coming in as slowly as she had mounted the stairs fast, and speaking with unusual deliberation, and not in the least out of breath, — "don't you want to help the distressed?"
"What's the matter, Clam?"
"Why Mr. Haye's took, and Miss 'Lizabeth's all alone with him; and she's a little too good to be let die of fright and worry, if she ain't perfect. Few people are."
"All alone!"
"She's keeping house with him all alone this minute."
"What do you mean by all alone?"
"When there ain't but two people in the house and one o' them's deathly sick."
"Where are the servants? and Mrs. Haye?"
"They was all afraid they'd be took — she and them both; so they all run — the first one the best feller. I stayed, 'cause I thought the yaller fever wouldn't do much with one o' my skin; and anyhow it was as good to die in the house as in the street — I'd rather."
"When did they go?" said Winthrop beginning to put up books and papers.
"Cleared out this mornin' — as soon as they knowed what was the matter with Mr. Haye."
"His wife too?" said Winthrop.
"Not she! she went off for fear she'd be scared — years ago."
"Has Miss Haye sent for no friends?"
"She says there ain't none to send to; and I guess there ain't."
"Run home to your mistress, Clam, as fast as you can. — When was Mr. Haye taken sick?"
"Some time yesterday. Then you're comin', Mr. Winthrop?"
"Yes. Run."
Clam ran home. But quick as her speed had been, when she got the handle of the door in her hand she saw a figure that she knew, coming down the street; and waited for him to come up. Winthrop and she passed into the house together.
The gentleman turned into one of the deserted parlours; and Clam with a quick and soft step ran up stairs and into the sick room. Mr. Haye lay there unconscious. Elizabeth was sitting by the side of the bed, with a face of stern and concentrated anxiety.
"Here's the stuff," said Clam, setting some medicine on the table; — "and there's a gentleman down stairs that wants to see you, Miss 'Lizabeth — on business."
"Business!" said Elizabeth, — "Did you tell him what was in the house?"
"I told him," said Clam, "and he don't care. He wants to see you."
Elizabeth had no words to waste, nor heart to speak them. She got up and went down stairs and in at the open parlour door, like a person who walks in a dream through a dreadful labyrinth of pain, made up of what used to be familiar objects of pleasure. So she went in. But so soon as her eye caught the figure standing before the fireplace, though she did not know what he had come there for, only that he was there, her heart sprang as to a pillar of hope. She stopped short and her two hands were brought together with an indescribable expression, telling of relief.
"Oh Mr. Landholm! what brought you here!"
He came forward to where she stood and took one of her hands; and felt that she was trembling like a shaking leaf.
"How is your father?" was his question.
"I don't know!" said Elizabeth bending down her head while tears began to run fast, — "I don't know anything about sickness — I never was with anybody before —"
She had felt one other time the gentle kind hands which, while her own eyes were blinded with tears, led her and placed her on the sofa. Elizabeth took the sofa cushion in both arms and laid her head upon it, turning her face from her companion; and her whole frame was racked and shaken with terrible agitation.
In a few minutes this violent expression of feeling came to an end. She took her arms from the pillow and sat up and spoke again to the friend at her side; who meanwhile had been perfectly quiet, offering neither to check nor to comfort her. Elizabeth went back to a repetition of her last remark, as if for an excuse.
"I never even tried to nurse anybody before — and the doctor couldn't stay with me this morning —"
"I will do both now," said Winthrop.
"What?" — said Elizabeth looking at him bewilderedly.
"Stay with you, and take care of Mr. Haye."
"Oh no! you must not!" she said with a sort of eager seriousness; — "I shouldn't like to have you."
"I have seen something of the disease," he said smiling slightly, "and I am not afraid of it. — Are you?"
"Oh yes! — oh yes!!"
How much was confessed in the tone of those words! — and she hid her face again. But her companion made no remark.
"Is there no friend you would like to have sent for?"
"No," said Elizabeth, — "not one! not one here — and not anywhere, that I should care to have with me."
"May I go up and see Mr. Haye now?" he said presently. "Which is the room?"
Elizabeth rose up to shew him.
"No," he said, gently motioning her back, — "I am going alone.
You must stay here."
"But I must go too, Mr. Landholm! —"
"Not if I go," he said.
"But I am his daughter, — I must."
"I am not his daughter — so as far as that goes we are even.
And by your own confession you know nothing of the matter; and
I do. No — you must not go above this floor."
"Until when, Mr. Landholm?" said Elizabeth looking terrified.
"Until new rules are made," he said quietly. "While you can do nothing in your father's room, both for him and for you it is much better that you should not be there."
"And can't I do anything?" said Elizabeth.
"If I think you are wanted, I will let you know. Meanwhile there is one thing that can be done everywhere."
He spoke, looking at her with a face of steady kind gravity. Elizabeth could not meet it; she trembled with the effort she made to control herself.
"It is the thing of all others that I cannot do, Mr.
Landholm."
"Learn it now, then. Which is the room?"
Elizabeth told him, without raising her eyes; and stood motionless on the floor where he left her, without stirring a finger, as long as she could hear the sound of his footsteps. They went first to the front door, and she heard him turn the key; then they went up the stairs.
The locking of that door went to her heart, with a sense of comfort, of dependence, of unbounded trust in the hand, the heart, the head, that had done it. It roused, or the taking off of restraint roused again, all the tumult of passions that had raged after her first coming in. She dropped on her knees by the sofa and wrapping her arms round the cushion as she had done before, she laid her head down on it, and to all feeling laid her heart down too; such bitter and deep and long sobs shook and racked her breast.
She was alive to nothing but feeling and the indulgence of it, and careless how much time the indulgence of it might take. It was passion's time. She was startled when two hands took hold of her and a grave voice said,
"If you do in this way, I shall have two patients instead of one, Miss Elizabeth."
Elizabeth suffered herself to be lifted up and placed on the sofa, and sat down like a child. Even at the instant came a flash of recollection bringing back the time, long past, when Winthrop had lifted her out of the rattlesnake's way. She felt ashamed and rebuked.
"This is not the lesson I set you," he said gently.
Elizabeth's head drooped lower. She felt that he had two patients — if he had only known it!
"You might set me a great many lessons that I should be slow to learn, Mr. Landholm," she said sadly.
"I hope not," he said in his usual tone. "There is no present occasion for this distress. I cannot see that Mr. Haye' symptoms are particularly unfavourable."
Elizabeth could have answered a great deal to that; but she only said, tearfully,
"How good you are to take care of him!"
"I will be as good as I can," said he smiling a little. "I should like to have you promise to do as much."
"That would be to promise a great deal, Mr. Landholm," said
Elizabeth looking up earnestly.
"What then?"
Elizabeth looked down and was silent, but musing much to herself.
"Is it too much of a promise to make?" said he gravely.
"No —" said Elizabeth slowly, — "but more than I am ready to make."
"Why is that?"
"Because, Mr. Landholm," said she looking up again at him, "I don't believe I should keep it if I made it."
"You expect me to say, in that case you are quite right not to make it. No, — you are quite wrong."
He waited a little; but said no more, and Elizabeth could not. Then he left the room and she heard him going down stairs! Her first thought was to spring up and go after to help him to whatever he wanted; then she remembered that he and Clam could manage it without her, and that he would certainly choose to have it so. She curled herself up on her sofa and laying her head on the cushion in more quiet wise, she went off into a long fit of musing; for Winthrop's steps, when they came from down stairs went straight up stairs again, without turning into the parlour. She mused, on her duty, her danger, her sorrow and her joy. There was something akin to joy in the enormous comfort, rest, and pleasure she felt in Winthrop's presence. But it was very grave musing after all; for her duty, or the image of it, she shrank from; her danger she shrank from more unequivocally; and joy and sorrow could but hold a mixed and miserable reign. The loss of her father could not be to Elizabeth what the loss of his mother had been to Winthrop. Mr. Haye had never made himself a part of his daughter's daily inner life; to her his death could be only the breaking of the old name and tie and associations, which of late years had become far less dear than they used to be. Yet to Elizabeth, who had nothing else, they were very much; and she looked to the possible loss of them as to a wild and dreary setting adrift upon the sea of life without harbour or shore to make anywhere. And then rose the shadowy image of a fair port and land of safety, which conscience whispered she could gain if she would. But sailing was necessary for that; and chart-studying; and watchful care of the ship, and many an observation taken by heavenly lights; and Elizabeth had not even begun to be a sailor. She turned these things over and over in her mind a hundred times, one after another, like the visions of a dream, while the hours of the day stole away noiselessly.
The afternoon waned; the doctor came. Elizabeth sprang out to meet him, referred him to her coadjutor up stairs, and then waited for his coming down again. But the doctor when he came could tell her nothing; there was no declarative symptom as yet; he knew no more than she did; she must wait. She went back to her sofa and her musing.
The windows were open, but with the sultry breath of August little din of business came into the room; the place was very quiet. The house was empty and still; seldom a footfall could be heard overhead. Clam was busy, up stairs and down, but she went with a light step when she pleased, and she pleased it now. It was a relief to have the change of falling night; and then the breeze from the sea began to come in at the windows and freshen the hot rooms; and twilight deepened. Elizabeth wished for a light then, but for once in her life hesitated about ringing the bell; for she had heard Clam going up and down and feared she might be busied for some one else. And she thought, with a heart full, how dismal this coming on of night would have been, but for the friend up stairs. Elizabeth wished bitterly she could follow his advice.
She sat looking out of the open window into the duskiness, and at the yellow lights of the street lamps which by this time spotted it; thinking so, and feeling very miserable. By and by Clam came in with a candle and began to let down the blinds.
"What are you going to do?" said her mistress. "You needn't pull those down."
"Folks'll see in," said Clam.
"No they won't — there's no light here."
"There's goin' to be, though," said Clam. "Things is goin' straight in this house, as two folks can make 'em."
"I don't want anything — you may let the lamps alone, Clam."
"I dursn't," said Clam, going on leisurely to light the two large burners of the mantle lamps, — "Mr. Winthrop told me to get tea for you and do everything just as it was every night; so I knowed these had to be flarin' up — You ain't goin' to be allowed to sit in the shades no longer."
"I don't want anything!" said Elizabeth. "Don't bring any tea here."
"Then I'll go up and tell him his orders is contradickied," said Clam.
"Stop!" said her mistress when she had reached the door walking off, — "don't carry any foolish speech up stairs at such a time as this; — fetch what you like and do what you like, — I don't care."
The room was brilliantly lighted now; and Clam set the salver on the table and brought in the tea-urn; and miserable as she felt, Elizabeth half confessed to herself that her coadjutor up stairs was right. Better this pain than the other. If the body was nothing a gainer, the mind perhaps might be, for keeping up the wonted habits and appearances.
"Ask Mr. Landholm to come down, Clam."
"I did ask him," said the handmaiden, "and he don't want nothin' but biscuits, and he's got lots o' them."
"Won't he have a cup of tea?"
"He knows his own mind mostly," said Clam; "and he says he won't."
"What arrangements can you make for his sleeping up there to- night, Clam?"
"Him and me 'll see to it," responded Clam confidently. "I know pretty much what's in the house; and the best of it ain't too good for him."
So Elizabeth drank her cup of tea alone; and sat alone through the long evening and mused. For still it was rather musing than thinking; going over things past and things present; things future she cared not much to meddle with. It was not a good time, she said, for taking up her religious wants and duties; and in part that was true, severely as she felt them; for her mind was in such a slow fever that none of its pulses were healthful. Fear, and foreboding, for her father and for herself, — hope springing along with the fear; a strong sense that her character was different from what it ought to be, and a strong wish that it were not, — and a yet mightier leaning in another direction; — all of these, meeting and modifying each other and struggling together, seemed to run in her veins and to tell in each beat of the tiny timekeeper at her wrist. How could she disentangle one from the other, or give a quiet mind to anything, when she had it not to give?
She was just bitterly asking herself this question, when Winthrop came in at the open parlour door; and the immediate bitter thought which arose next was, did he ever have any but a quiet mind to give to anything? The two bitters were so strong upon her tongue that they kept it still; till he had walked up to the neighbourhood of her sofa.
"How is my father, Mr. Landholm?" she said rising and meeting him.
"As you mean the question I cannot answer it — There is nothing declarative, Miss Elizabeth. Yes," he said kindly, meeting and answering her face, — "you must wait yet awhile longer."
Elizabeth sat down again, and looked down.
"Are you troubled with fears for yourself?" he said gently, taking a chair near her.
"No —" Elizabeth said, and said truly. She could have told him, what indeed she could not, that since his coming into the house another feeling had overmastered that fear, and kept it under.
"At least," she added, — "I suppose I have it, but it doesn't trouble me now."
"I came down on principle," said he, — "to exchange the office of nurse for that of physician; — thinking it probably better that you should see me for a few minutes, than see nobody at all."
"I am sure you were right," said Elizabeth. "I felt awhile ago as if my head would go crazy with too many thoughts."
"Must be unruly thoughts," said Winthrop.
"They were," said she looking up.
"Can't you manage unruly thoughts?"
"No! — never could."
"Do you know what happens in that case? — They manage you."
"But how can I help it, Mr. Landholm? There they are, and here am I; — they are strong and I am weak."
"If they are the strongest, they will rule."
Elizabeth sat silent, thinking her counsellor was very unsatisfactory.
"Are you going to sit up all night, Miss Elizabeth?"
"No — I suppose not —"
"I shall; so you may feel easy about being alone down here.
There could be no disturbance, I think, without my knowing it.
Let Clam be here to keep you company; and take the best rest
you can."
It was impossible for Elizabeth to say a word of thanks, or of his kindness; the words choked her; she was mute.
"Can I do anything, Mr. Landholm?"
"Nothing in the world — but manage your thoughts," he said smiling.
Elizabeth was almost choked again, with the rising of tears this time.
"But Mr. Landholm — about that — what is wrong cannot be necessary; there must be some way of managing them?"
"You know it," he said simply.
But it finished Elizabeth's power of speech. She did not even attempt to look up; she sat pressing her chin with her hand, endeavouring to keep down her heart and to keep steady her quivering lips. Her companion, who in the midst of all her troubles she many times that evening thought was unlike any other person that ever walked, presently went out into the hall and called to Clam over the balusters.
"Is he going to give her directions about taking care of me?" thought Elizabeth in a great maze, as Winthrop came back into the parlour and sat down again. When Clam appeared however he only bade her take a seat; and then bringing forth a bible from his pocket he opened it and read the ninety-first psalm. Hardly till then it dawned upon Elizabeth what he was thinking to do; and then the words that he read went through and through her heart like drawn daggers. One after another, one after another. Little he imagined, who read, what strength her estimate of the reader's character gave them; nor how that same estimate made every word of his prayer tell, and go home to her spirit with the sharpness as well as the gentleness of Ithuriel's spear. When Elizabeth rose from her knees, it was with a bowed head which she could in no wise lift up; and after Winthrop had left the room, Clam stood looking at her mistress and thinking her own thoughts, as long as she pleased unrebuked.
"One feels sort o' good after that, now, don't they?" was her opening remark, when Elizabeth's head was at last raised from her hands. "Do you think the roof of any house would ever fall in over his head? He's better'n a regiment o' soldiers."
"Is everything attended to down stairs, Clam?"
"All's straight where the Governor is," said Clam with a sweeping bend of her head, and going about to set the room in order; — "there ain't two straws laid the wrong way."
"Where he is!" repeated Elizabeth — "He isn't in the kitchen,
I suppose, Clam."
"Whenever he's in the house, always seems to me he's all over," said Clam. "It's about that. He's a governor, you know. Now Miss 'Lizabeth, how am I goin' to fix you for the night?"
"No way," said Elizabeth. "I shall just sleep here, as I am.
Let the lamps burn, and shut down the blinds."
"And then will I go off to the second story and leave you?"
"No, indeed — Fetch something that you can lay on the floor, and stay here with me."
Which Clam presently did; nothing more than a blanket however; and remarked as she curled herself down with her head upon her arm,
"Ain't he a handsome man, Miss 'Lizabeth?"
"Who? —" ungraciously enough.
"Why, the Governor."
"Yes, for aught I know. Lie still and go to sleep, Clam, if you can; and let me."
Very promptly Clam obeyed this command; but her less happy mistress, as soon as the deep drawn breaths told her she was alone again, sat up on her sofa to get in a change of posture a change from pain.
How alone! — In the parlour after midnight, with the lamps burning as if the room were gay with company; herself, in her morning dress, on the sofa for a night's rest, and there on her blanket on the carpet, Clam already taking it. How it told the story, of illness and watching and desertion and danger; how it put life and death in near and strong contrast; and the summer wind blew in through the blinds and pushed the blinds themselves gently out into the room, just as Elizabeth had seen and felt in many a bright and happy hour not so long past. The same summer breath, and the summer so different! Elizabeth could hardly bear it. She longed to rush up stairs where there was somebody; but then she must not; and then the remembrance that somebody was there quieted her again. That thought stirred another train, the old contrast between him and herself, the contrast between his condition and hers, now brought more painfully than ever home. "He is ready to meet anything," she thought, — "nothing can come amiss to him; — he is as ready for that world as for this — and more!" —
The impression of the words he had read that evening came back to her afresh, and the recollection of the face with which he had read them, — calm, happy, and at rest; — and Elizabeth threw herself off the sofa and kneeled down to lay her head and arms upon it, in mere agony of wish to change something, or rather of the felt want that something should be changed. O that she were at peace like him! O that she had like him a sure home and possession beyond the reach of sickness and death! O that she were that rectified, self-contained, pure, strong spirit, that he was! — The utmost of passionate wish was in the tears that wept out these yearnings of heart — petitions they half were, — for her mind in giving them form, had a half look to the only possible power that could give them fruition. But it was with only the refreshment of tears and exhaustion that she laid herself on her couch and went to sleep.
Clam had carried away her blanket bed and put out the lamps, before Elizabeth awoke the next morning. It was a question whether the room looked drearier by night or by day. She got up and went to the window. Clam had pulled up the blinds. The light of the summer morning was rising again, but it shone only without; all was darkness inside. Except that light- surrounded watcher up stairs. How Elizabeth's heart blessed him.
The next thing was, to get ready to receive his report. That morning's toilet was soon made, and Elizabeth sat waiting. He might come soon, or he might not; for it was early, and he might not know whether she was awake and risen yet. She was unaccustomed, poor child, to a waiting of pain; and her heart felt tired and sore already from the last forty-eight hours of fears and hopes. Fears and hopes were in strong life now, but a life that had become very tender to every touch. Clam was setting the breakfast-table — Could breakfast be eaten or not? The very cups and saucers made Elizabeth's heart ache. She was glad when Clam had done her work and was gone and she sat waiting alone. But the breaths came painfully now, and her heart was weary with its own aching.
The little knock at the door came at last. Elizabeth ran to open it, and exchanged a silent grasp of the hand with the newsbearer; her eyes looked her question. He came in just as he came last night; calm and grave.
"I can tell you nothing new, Miss Elizabeth," he said. "I cannot see that Mr. Haye is any better — I do not know that he is any worse."
But Elizabeth was weak to bear longer suspense; she burst into tears and sat down hiding her face. Her companion stood near, but said nothing further.
"May I call Clam?" he asked after a few minutes.
Elizabeth gave eager assent; and the act of last night was repeated, to her unspeakable gratification. She drank in every word, and not only because she drank in the voice with them.
"Breakfast's just ready, Mr. Winthrop," said Clam when she was leaving the room; — "so you needn't go up stairs."
The breakfast was a very silent one on Elizabeth's part. Winthrop talked on indifferent subjects; but she was too full- hearted and too sick-hearted to answer him with many words. And when the short meal was ended and he was about quitting the parlour she jumped up and followed him a step or two.
"Mr. Winthrop — won't you say a word of comfort to me before you go? —"
He saw she needed it exceedingly; and came back and sat down on the sofa with her.
"I don't know what to say to you better than this, Miss Elizabeth," he said, turning over again the leaves of his little bible; — "I came to it in the course of my reading this morning; and it comforted me."
He put the book in her hands, but Elizabeth had to clear her eyes more than once from hot tears, before she could read the words to which he directed her.
"And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert from storm and from rain."
Elizabeth looked at it.
"But I don't understand it, Mr. Landholm?" she said, raising her eyes to his face.
He said nothing; he took the book from her and turning a few leaves over, put it again in her hands. Elizabeth read; —
"And a man shall be as an hiding-place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place; as the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land."
"Is that plainer?" he asked.
"It means the Saviour?" said Elizabeth.
"Certainly it does! To whom else should we go?"
"But Mr. Landholm," said Elizabeth after a minute's struggle, "why do you shew me this, when you know I can do nothing with it?"
"Will you do nothing?" he said.
The words implied that she could; an implication she would not deny; but her answer was another burst of tears. And with the book in her hand he left her.
The words were well studied that day! by a heart feeling the blast of the tempest and bitterly wanting to hide itself from the wind. But the fact of her want and of a sure remedy, was all she made clear; how to match the one with the other she did not know. The book itself she turned over with the curiosity and the interest of fresh insight into character. It was well worn, and had been carefully handled; it lay open easily anywhere, and in many places various marks of pencilling shewed that not only the eyes but the mind of its owner had been all over it. It was almost an awful book to Elizabeth's handling. It seemed a thing too good to be in her hold. It bore witness to its owner's truth of character, and to her own consequent being far astray; it gave her an opening such as she never had before to look into his mind and life and guess at the secret spring and strength of them. Of many of the marks of his pencil she could make nothing at all; she could not divine why they had been made, nor what could possibly be the notable thing in the passage pointed out; and longing to get at more of his mind than she could in one morning's hurried work, she found another bible in the house and took off a number of his notes, for future and more leisurely study.
It was a happy occupation for her that day. No other could have so softened its exceeding weariness and sadness. The doctor gave her no comfort. He said he could tell nothing yet; and Elizabeth could not fancy that this delay of amendment gave any encouragement to hope for it. She did not see Winthrop at dinner. She spent the most of the day over his bible. Sickness of heart sometimes made her throw it aside, but so surely sickness of heart made her take it up again.
The thought of Winthrop himself getting sick, did once or twice look in through the window of Elizabeth's mind; but her mind could not take it in. She had so much already to bear, that this tremendous possibility she could not bear so much as to look at; she left it a one side; and it can hardly be numbered among her recognized causes of trouble.
The day wore to an end. The evening and the sea-breeze came again. The lamps were lit and the table dressed with the salver and tea-urn. And Elizabeth was thankful the day was over; and waited impatiently for her friend to make his appearance.
She thought he looked thoughtfuller than ever when he came.
That might have been fancy.
"I don't know, Miss Elizabeth," he said, taking her hand as he had done in the morning, and answering her face. "We must wait yet. — How have you borne the day?"
"I have borne it by the help of your book," she said looking down at it and trembling.
"You could have no better help," he said with a little sigh, as he turned away to the table, — "except that of the Author of it."
The tea was very silent, for even Winthrop did not talk much; and very sad, for Elizabeth could hardly hold her head up.
"Mr. Winthrop," she said when he rose, — "can you give me a minute or two before you go? — I want to ask you a question."
"Certainly," — he said; and waited, both standing, while she opened his bible and found the place he had shewed her in the morning. She shewed it to him now.
"This — I don't quite understand it. — I see what is spoken of, and the need of it, — but — how can I make it my own?"
She looked up as she put the question, with most earnest eyes, and lips that only extreme determination kept from giving way. He looked at her, and at his book.
"By giving your trust to the Maker of the promise."
"How? —"
"The same unquestioning faith and dependence that you would give to any sure and undoubted refuge of human strength."
Elizabeth looked down and pressed her hands close together upon her breast. She knew so well how to give that! — so little how to give the other.
"Do you understand what Christ requires of those who would follow him?"
"No," she said looking up again, — "not clearly — hardly at all."
"One is — that you give up everything, even in thought, that is contrary to his authority."
He was still, and so was she, both looking at each other.
"That is what is meant by repentance. The other thing is, — that you trust yourself for all your wants — from the forgiveness of sin, to the supply of this moment's need, — to the strength and love of Jesus Christ; — and that because he has paid your price and bought you with his own blood."