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Hints on Child-training

Chapter 33: INDEX.
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About This Book

The author offers concise, experience-based guidance for parents on shaping children's habits and character, emphasizing training over mere teaching and favoring will-training rather than will-breaking. Short, focused chapters address discerning needs, wise denial, respecting individuality, letting alone, self-control, appetites, questioning, religious and Sabbath instruction, play and amusements, courtesy and reading habits, family conversation, companionships, discipline without anger, dealing with fears and sorrows, and the importance of home atmosphere and maternal influence. Practical examples and rules of thumb aim to help parents apply gentle, steady methods that cultivate habits, sympathy, imagination, and moral sense throughout childhood.

INDEX.

  • Abraham as a child-trainer, 14, 15.
  • Accidents, sympathy with children in, 255.
  • Adams, John Quincy, on the mother-love, 271.
  • Addison, Joseph, on reading, 175.
  • Affectation, of grief, for selfish ends, 98.
  • Afraid, when a child is old enough to be, 130.
  • Allowing play to a child’s imagination, 277–282 (see Imagination).
  • Ambidextrous, gain of being, 59.
  • Amusements:
    • training a child in, 155–164;
    • necessary to children, 155;
    • bad companionship to be avoided in, 159;
    • should have no element of chance, 160;
    • should not involve late hours, 161;
    • a choice of reading in, 176.
  • Anger:
    • never right in conference with a child, 44;
    • never punish a child in, 205–216;
    • defined, 205, 206;
    • confession by a parent of its influence on him, 209;
    • its exhibit as “indignation” in punishing, 212;
    • illustration of its evil on the mission-school superintendent, 213.
  • Animals:
    • training better than breaking for them, 50;
    • their knowledge through training, 143;
    • gain of calmness in training them, 220.
  • Answering:
    • a child’s request deliberately, 107;
    • a child’s questions, importance of, 122;
    • wise methods of, 124–128.
  • Apologizing, duty and manliness of, 172.
  • Appetite:
    • early control of, possible, 99;
    • training a child’s, 109–118.
  • Assertion, self, inconsistent with courtesy, 166.
  • Atmosphere, influence of the home, 257–262.

  • Bad boy, the:
    • some traits of, 207;
    • example of, in a mission-school, 213.
  • Bashful child, the, 18.
  • Bedtime:
    • a child’s impressibility at, 291–293;
    • a parent’s irritability at, 293–295;
    • mistakes of parents at, 295–297;
    • illustrative memories of, 297–300.
  • Beginning:
    • of training for a child, 15;
    • of a child’s self-control, 94.
  • Bending a child’s will, distinguished from its breaking, 38.
  • Best things kept for Sunday, 146.
  • Bible-study on Sunday is not always worship, 142.
  • Books [see Reading].
  • Braddock and Washington as contrasting cowardice and fear, 225.
  • Bravery consistent with fear, 225.
  • Breaking a child’s will is never right, 47–52.
  • Bushnell, Horace:
    • on giving a premium to a child’s fretting, 97;
    • on rewarding silence with “dainties,” 97;
    • on a parent’s sympathy with a child’s plays, 157 f;
    • on the place for a parental explosion against evil, 212.

  • Candy:
    • used wrongly, 97, 116;
    • reserved for Sunday, 148.
  • Censure:
    • few words better than many in, 220;
    • a child’s sorrow from a playmate’s, 243;
    • evil of unsympathetic, 254.
  • Centripetal force of some amusements, 162.
  • Chance, the element of, not admissible in children’s amusements, 160.
  • Character:
    • shaped by child-training, 16;
    • possibilities of, perceived, 73;
    • shown in fears, 223.
  • Choice:
    • faculty of, identified with the will, 38;
    • God’s dealings with men, on the basis of their freedom of, 39;
    • not abrogated by rewards and punishments, 40;
    • of obedience or punishment, a fair one, 44, 46;
    • for a child by parents, of studies and duties, 58;
    • of food and drink, 109;
    • of amusements, 156, 164;
    • of reading, 176;
    • of companionships, 197 f.;
    • of a residence, school, a week-day school, or a Sunday-school, 201.
  • Christ [see Jesus Christ].
  • Christian faith, the remedy for child-sorrows, 245.
  • Christmas:
    • celebration of, may illustrate Sabbath observance, 146;
    • distinguishing then between fact and fancy, 279;
    • giving added value to a child’s, 283–290.
  • Church services should be made attractive to children, 153.
  • Classic examples of table-talk, 187.
  • Coaxing a child to be quiet, 97.
  • College curriculum, its value as a means of training, 56.
  • Comforting children by sympathy, 249.
  • Companionships:
    • in a child’s amusements to be guarded, 159;
    • guiding a child in, 197–204.
  • Condiments, a child’s use of, 111, 115.
  • Confession:
    • of faults won through parental sympathy, 254;
    • a child’s readiness for, at bed-time, 292.
  • Conscientiousness, of young parents, as a cause of over-doing child-training, 84 f.
  • Control [see Self-Control].
  • Conversation:
    • honoring a child’s interest in adult, 79;
    • evil to a child of having himself for the topic of, 170, 174;
    • favorable occasion for, at family meals, 189.
  • Counseling, not identical with training, 17.
  • Courtesy, training a child to, 165–174.
  • Cowardice, distinguished from fear, 224.
  • Criticism, of our children, by others, to be heeded, 34.
  • Crying:
    • controlling by self-control, 96;
    • not recognized as a means of gain, 106;
    • a child’s earliest action, 239.
  • Cultivating a child’s taste for reading, 175–186 [see Reading].
  • Curbing, an element in training, 30.

  • Dark side of life, seen first by the child, 239.
  • David’s recognition of the mother-love, 264.
  • Dealing tenderly with a child’s fears, 223–238 [see Fears].
  • Death in the atmosphere, 258.
  • Definition:
    • of training, 11;
    • of teaching, 12;
    • of faith, 129;
    • of courtesy, 165;
    • of good-breeding, 166;
    • of anger, 206;
    • of punishment, 207;
    • of scolding, 217;
    • of sympathy, 248;
    • of home atmosphere, 259;
    • of the false and of the unreal, 277.
  • Denying:
    • a child wisely, 61–70;
    • not to be done hastily, 107.
  • De Quincey on “fine manners,” 166.
  • Diagnosis, important in parental care, as in medical practice, 30.
  • Dictionary, at hand for use in table-talk, 193.
  • Discerning a child’s special need of training, 29–36.
  • Discipline:
    • by the use of “must” in child-training, 53 f.;
    • example of Spartan, 68;
    • danger of its over-doing, 85, 90;
    • in eating and drinking, 109 f.;
    • in the mission-school, 213, 214.
  • Dogs:
    • to be trained, not broken, 50 f.;
    • a natural tone of voice in the training of, 219.
  • Dolls, as a child’s treasure, 243.
  • Duty of training children, 17–22.

  • Education:
    • begins with training rather than teaching, 12;
    • progress in methods of, 54.
  • Eli honoring the child Samuel’s individuality, 73.
  • English custom of separating parents and children at meal-time, 190.
  • Etiquette, distinguished from courtesy, 170.
  • Eton, influence of its playground on the battle of Waterloo, 161.
  • Ex post facto laws not justifiable, 215.
  • Eye and ear, trained by playthings and games, 160.

  • Fact and fancy, a child distinguishes between, 277.
  • Fairy-tales:
    • value and place of, 178;
    • safer reading than falsely colored religious story-books, 281.
  • Faith, training a child’s, 129–138.
  • Fancy and fact [see Fact].
  • Fathers sharing the amusements of children, 158.
  • Faults:
    • of children, friends and neighbors may see those which parents do not, 33;
    • should excite parental sympathy, 253;
    • children more ready to confess, at bed-time, 292.
  • Fears, dealing tenderly with a child’s, 223–238.
  • Feeble-minded children, their special lack, 20, 21.
  • Fiction:
    • place and value of, in child’s reading, 178;
    • no place for the highly colored and over-wrought, 182;
    • when false is pernicious, 281.
  • First child, danger of over-doing the training of the, 84, 87.
  • Food:
    • for children, should be chosen by parents, 109;
    • inherited tastes for, may be overcome by training, 109;
    • freaks of appetite for, 112;
    • an American educator’s method of training his children’s tastes for, 114.
  • Forcing a child’s will:
    • never right, 42 f.;
    • permanent harm of, 48.
  • Freedom:
    • of man’s will, the basis of divine dealing, 39, and fore-ordained, 40;
    • to ask questions, limited, 123;
    • should be permitted in family table-talk, 192;
    • from anxiety and sorrow not characteristic of childhood, 239.
  • Freshness of a child’s thought on profound themes, 80, 131.
  • “Friend-enemies,” parents as, according to Herbert Spencer, 255.

  • Games:
    • for Sunday, 147;
    • should be made a means of good, 159;
    • the element of chance should be excluded from, 160;
    • of an intellectual nature, 163;
    • the right use of imagination in, 278, 279.
  • Gentlemanliness, appealing to a boy’s, 79.
  • Gentleness:
    • in child-training, 44;
    • in dog-training, 50, 219;
    • in managing a city mission-school, 213, 214;
    • in censuring, 220;
    • in dealing with a child’s fears, 223 f.
  • “Ghosts and goblins,” in child-fears, 226, 237.
  • Gifts:
    • abundance of, now unappreciated, 67;
    • at Christmas, valued in proportion to the giver’s self going with them, 283, 289.
  • Gleason, the horse-trainer, methods of, 50.
  • Good-breeding, defined, 166.
  • Good-night words, 291–300.
  • Gospel of John, as a first Bible book for South Sea Islanders, 132.
  • Grief:
    • affectation of, for rewards, 97;
    • freedom from, not characteristic of childhood, 239.
  • Guests, permitting children to sit at table with, 189.
  • Guiding a child in companionships, 197–204 [see Companionships].
  • Gullet, rubbing of the, a primitive custom, 14.

  • Habits:
    • formed in infancy, 13, 94;
    • affected by training, 27;
    • should be regulated by parents, 56, 110, 112, 117.
  • Hagar, an example of the mother-love, 265.
  • Hammond, S. T., on dog-training, 50, 219.
  • Hannah, an example of the mother-love, 266.
  • Hasty denial of a child’s request, unwise, 107.
  • History, a child trained to enjoy books of, 180.
  • Home:
    • amusements of, should be a centripetal force, 162;
    • to be made attractive, 163.
  • Home atmosphere, influence of, 162 f., 257–262.
  • Honoring a child’s individuality 23, 29, 37, 57, 71–82.
  • Horses trained, not broken, 50.

  • Illustrations:
    • on the effects of training, 24;
    • Johnny and his father, as to shutting the door, 42;
    • a boy addressing a visitor by a familiar title, 46;
    • from animal-training, 50, 219;
    • flogging children on Innocents’ Day, 54;
    • the raisin-box wagon, 67;
    • self-denial of Spartans, 68;
    • difference between clay and the living germ, 72;
    • boy who knew better than his mother how sick he was, 76;
    • boy who could not spare his watch, 77;
    • stanzas from Wordsworth, 81;
    • a young father over-disciplining his first child, 84, 87;
    • “yanking” at the reins, 91;
    • “I want to be pacified,” 97;
    • an American educator training the children’s appetite for food, 114;
    • Shetland ponies trained to eat hay, 116;
    • Bishop Patteson among the South Sea Islanders, 132;
    • a boy’s rejoicing that Monday had come, 153;
    • battle of Waterloo won on Eton’s playground, 161;
    • Fourth of July suggesting study of American history, 184;
    • the table-talk of famous guests, as a means of education, 191;
    • lateral and perpendicular forces, 198;
    • a parent who could punish only when angry, 209;
    • a mission-school boy reproving his superintendent, 213;
    • a child punished in love, responding with love, 214;
    • Braddock and Washington in the presence of peril, 225;
    • a baby who “doesn’t like God’s voice,” 231;
    • a father overcoming his child’s fear of lightning, 231;
    • power of imaginary fear over a strong man, 233;
    • trusting God when afraid, 236;
    • “Do robbers take dolls?” 243;
    • a boy suicide, 245;
    • from Herbert Spencer, on sympathy, 249;
    • life and death in the atmosphere, 258;
    • historical, of a mother’s love, 263–276;
    • of the play of a child’s imagination, 278;
    • of Christmas festivities, 284 f.;
    • “the old woman that lived in a shoe,” 294;
    • the boy calling from his “trundle-bed” to his father, 297.
  • Imagination:
    • encouraging free play of a child’s, 176;
    • a cause of child-fears, 225;
    • its part in the fears of the mature man, 233;
    • distinguished from superstition, 234;
    • to be appealed to, in overcoming such fears, 235, 236;
    • a child’s, to be guarded from ghost-stories, 237;
    • allowing play to a child’s, 277–282.
  • Imperfect development of every child, 21.
  • Improvements in school appliances, etc., 54.
  • Incarnation, disclosure of, in training child-faith, 136.
  • Inclination must submit to discipline, 57.
  • Indignation, in punishing, distinguished from anger, 212.
  • Influence of the home atmosphere, 257–262.
  • Innate, faith toward God is, but knowledge of him is not, 130.
  • “Innocents’ Day,” a time for flogging children, 54.
  • Instinctive:
    • faith of every child, 129;
    • fears, the value of, 229.
  • Interrogation-point, a child as an animated, 119.
  • Issue with a child to be avoided as far as possible, 46, 88.

  • James and John, their mother’s example of the mother-love, 266.
  • Jeroboam’s wife, an example of the mother-love, 266.
  • Jesus Christ:
    • incarnation of, readily grasped by a child’s faith, 136;
    • table-talk of, 188;
    • recognizing, on the cross, his mother’s love, 265;
    • sympathizes with our enjoyments, 290.
  • Jochebed, an example of the mother-love, 265.
  • John’s Gospel as a first book for heathen converts, 132.
  • Johnson, Dr., on reading, 175;
    • on the mother-love, 269.
  • Joyful observance of the Lord’s Day, 141, 153.
  • Judgment, in judge or parent, should not be hasty, 206.

  • Kindergarten, a fundamental truth in its system, 160.
  • Knowledge:
    • begins with a question, 119;
    • questions should be directed in order to gain, 125;
    • regarding God, must be disclosed to the child, 130.

  • Late hours, amusements of the child should not involve, 161.
  • Laughing:
    • a time for, 99;
    • not so easy, for a baby, as crying, 239.
  • Letting alone as a means of child-training, 83–92.
  • Life:
    • children see dark side of, first, 239;
    • burdens of, rest heaviest on the child-nature, 240;
    • death and, in the atmosphere, 258.
  • Lightning and thunder, overcoming a child’s fears of, 231.
  • Limitations:
    • scope and, of child-training, 23–28;
    • to a child’s privilege of question-asking, 123.
  • Lord’s Day:
    • every day is, 139;
    • set apart from other days, in childish occupations, toys, etc., 144.
  • Love:
    • God’s, includes the bad child, 135;
    • necessary to acceptable worship or work, 140;
    • parental, in punishing, awakens child’s, 214;
    • distinguished from sympathy, 248, 256;
    • an element of the home atmosphere, 261;
    • the power of a mother’s, 263–276;
    • the divine compared with a mother’s, 261;
    • historical illustrations of, and testimonies to a mother’s, 263–276.
  • “Luck,” no place for it in children’s games, 160.
  • Luther, Martin:
    • individuality of, in childhood, honored by Trebonius, 74;
    • on the mother-love, 270.

  • Macaulay, Lord, on the mother-love, 272.
  • Making believe as distinct from deception, 278.
  • Manliness promoted by amusements, 160.
  • Manners, fine, according to De Quincey, 166.
  • Meals, mental and moral enjoyments at, 187.
  • Memory:
    • of a mother’s love, its permanent influence, 263;
    • illustrated, 266–273;
    • of Christmas festivities, 289;
    • of the good-night kiss, 293.
  • Mental defects remedied, 25.
  • Misrepresenting God to a child, 135.
  • Mission-school, illustration of the bad boy in one, 213.
  • Moses, the possibilities of his character in infancy, 72.
  • Mother Goose, value of, 177.
  • Mother:
    • has more time than the father to share children’s amusements, 158;
    • scolding by a, no better than an apple-woman’s, 218;
    • commandments to honor, 267.
  • Mother’s love:
    • the power of a, 263–276;
    • memory of, in the good-night kiss, 293.
  • Music in the home, 163.
  • “Must” the place of, in training, 53–60 [see Discipline].

  • “Nagging” is not training, 90.
  • Napoleon Bonaparte, on the mother-love, 273.
  • Natural:
    • objects, suggesting lines of reading, 184;
    • tone of voice, in dog-training and in child-training, 219;
    • power of sympathy not wholly, 256.
  • Neighbors’ criticism of our children valuable, 33.
  • Never punish a child in anger, 205–216.
  • News, daily, outlined by father at breakfast table, 193.
  • Night [see Good-night Words].
  • Nonsense songs, value of, 177.
  • Nott, President, soothed at ninety by old lullabies, 271.

  • Observance of Sabbath, training a child to, 139–154.
  • “Only child, the:”
    • not always “spoiled,” 63;
    • disadvantage of his lack of companions at home, 200.
  • Opinions of a child, honoring the, 80.
  • Over-doing in child-training:
    • danger of, 83;
    • an error of the thoughtful as well as the thoughtless, 90.
  • Oxygen, analogy from, 258 f.

  • Parents:
    • undervalue their power to train, 17, 35;
    • blindness of, to the peculiar faults of their children, 31;
    • should heed criticism of neighbors and friends, 33;
    • faults of, often reappear in their children, 35;
    • should never force a child’s choice, 41;
    • anger no help to, in training, 44, 205;
    • permanent harm to, in breaking their child’s will, 48;
    • should control a child’s personal habits, 56;
    • must often deny a child’s requests, 62;
    • must honor a child’s individuality, 71;
    • often inferior in possibilities to their children, 75;
    • young, in danger of over-disciplining a child, 83;
    • should seek to avoid direct issues with a child, 89;
    • teaching the infant self-control, 94;
    • training children to tease, 102;
    • respect of, lost by children who tease, 105;
    • giving sugar and condiments, 116;
    • average, unable to answer questions of average children, 122;
    • as revealers of revelation, 131;
    • must have faith in order to train a child’s faith, 137;
    • should provide peculiar occupations and privileges for Sunday, 144, 148;
    • should be the center of their children’s amusements, 157, 163;
    • should learn from the kindergarten system, 160;
    • should train children to courtesy, 173;
    • responsible for children’s reading, 176, 180;
    • should give children a share in family table-talk, 190, 196;
    • responsible for choice of a child’s companions, 197, 201;
    • should never punish in anger, 205;
    • as peace-keepers and policemen, 211;
    • should never scold, 217;
    • should deal tenderly with child-fears, 223;
    • should have sympathy for child-sorrows, 242;
    • should point to Christ, as the way of comfort, 246;
    • as “friend-enemies,” 255;
    • responsible for a home-atmosphere, 259–261;
    • allowing play to a child’s imagination, 277 f.;
    • should prepare for Christmas festivities, 283 f.;
    • the good-night words of, 291.
  • Passions and appetites, self-control of, should begin early, 99.
  • Patience, necessity of:
    • in dog-training and child-training, 220;
    • especially at child’s bed-time, 294.
  • Patteson, Bishop, among the South Sea Islanders, 132.
  • Paul’s self-control, 98.
  • Person, faith rests on a, 129.
  • Personal:
    • power measured by will-power, 37;
    • character to be held sacred, 39, 71;
    • rights of children, honoring, 77;
    • merit, not a means of acceptance with God, 135.
  • Physical:
    • defects remedied, 25;
    • pain, endurance of, 96.
  • Place of “must” in training, the, 53–60.
  • Place of sympathy in child-training, 247–256.
  • Playmates:
    • treatment of visiting, 171;
    • unkindnesses of, 240 [see Companionships].
  • Playthings:
    • use of, in training the faculties, 160;
    • not a substitute for parental sympathy, 250;
    • imagination in the use of, 279, 280.
  • Politeness, true, 166.
  • Porter, President, on a college curriculum, 56.
  • Power of a mother’s love, the, 263–276 [see Mother’s Love].
  • Prayer:
    • meaning of, taught before the child can talk, 131;
    • faith in, not to supplant faith in God, 133;
    • sharing a child’s, 292;
    • a new meaning of, gained through a child’s good-night words, 299.
  • Preferences, personal:
    • not to control study and work, 59;
    • nor reading, 177.
  • Profound thought possible to a child, 80;
    • as of God’s personality and love, 131;
    • or, the doctrine of the incarnation, 136.
  • Protection of a child, in danger, distinguished from punishment, 210, 211.
  • Punish a child in anger, never, 205–216.
  • Punishment:
    • divine, not destructive of free-will, 40;
    • teaching a child to choose obedience or, 44 f.;
    • undue severity of, 45;
    • has a proper use, 205;
    • should be a calm and judicial act, 206;
    • distinguished from prompt protection of a child in danger, 210, 211;
    • administered in love, is recognized as love prompted, 214;
    • often harder for a parent than for his child, 215;
    • not to be inflicted upon an offense of ignorance, 215;
    • child’s permanent good the purpose of, 216;
    • evil of postponing until the child’s bed-time, 294, 295.
  • Puzzles, for Sunday, 151.

  • Questioner, training a child as a, 119–128.
  • Questions:
    • children encouraged to ask, 120;
    • discouraged from asking improper, 123;
    • value of a set time for answering, 124;
    • should be in order to gain knowledge, 125;
    • wisdom of deferring answers to some, 127;
    • asking, in family table-talk, 192.
  • Quiet talking more effective than scolding, 220.

  • Rachel, an example of the mother-love, 265.
  • Rarey, the horse-trainer, method of, 50.
  • Reading:
    • cultivating a child’s taste for, 175–186;
    • its value, according to Addison and Johnson, 175;
    • place and value of fiction in, 177, 178;
    • taste for good should be aroused in childhood, 180.
  • Reasonable fears to be met by reason, 228.
  • Recreation distinguished from amusement, 155.
  • Reference-books, use of, in family table-talk, 193.
  • Residence, companionships for children to be in mind, when choosing a, 201.
  • Respect, self, of the courteous man, 166.
  • Rest, not in inaction, but in change, 142.
  • Rewards:
    • divine use of, 40;
    • dangers in the use of, 97.
  • Rich children in danger of being untrained in self-denial, 65.
  • Ridicule cannot overcome child-fears, 224, 228.
  • Rizpah, an example of the mother-love, 266.
  • Romans, their table-talk, 187.
  • Rubbing the gullet, a primitive custom, 14.

  • Sabbath observance, training children to, 139–154.
  • Samuel’s individuality, in childhood, honored by Eli, 73.
  • Santa Claus, as a Christmas fancy, 279.
  • Science, training a child to enjoy books of, 180.
  • Scolding:
    • never in order, 217–222;
    • most common at bed-time, 294.
  • Scope and limitations of child-training, 23–28 [see Limitations].
  • Self-assertion not consistent with courtesy, 166.
  • Self-control:
    • training a child to, 93–100;
    • necessary for parents before punishing a child, 210;
    • before censuring a child, 220.
  • Self-denial:
    • importance of training children to, 62;
    • an only child liable to lack stimulus to, 200.
  • Self-forgetfulness the basis of courtesy, 168.
  • Selfishness fostered by the granting of every request, 63.
  • Self-respect of the courteous man, 166.
  • Sermons for children, read at home on Sunday, 150.
  • Sharing:
    • children’s joys and sorrows, 248, 253;
    • children’s Christmas pleasures, 290;
    • in children’s evening prayer, 292.
  • Shetland ponies trained to eat hay, 116.
  • Shunammite woman, an example of the mother-love, 266.
  • Silly questions not to be encouraged, 125.
  • Skelton, John, on scolding, 218.
  • Skill, not chance, in children’s games, 161.
  • Soldier:
    • fear felt by every, 224;
    • imaginary fears of a, 234;
    • finding peace on his death-bed through the mother-love, 274.
  • Solomon:
    • on child-training, 15;
    • on honoring a mother, 267.
  • Sorrows of children, the, 239–246;
    • they call for sympathy, 247–256;
    • because of harsh treatment at bed-time, 294.
  • South Sea Islanders taught from John’s Gospel first, 132.
  • Spartan children trained to self-denial, 68.
  • Special need of training, discerning a child’s, 29–36.
  • Spencer, Herbert, on intellectual sympathy with children, 249.
  • Spoiled child, the:
    • not always an “only child,” 63;
    • may be a first child, over-disciplined, 87.
  • Studying a child’s specific needs, 35.
  • Sugar-plums to “pacify” crying children, 97, 111.
  • Suicide of children, 244.
  • Sunday-school:
    • lesson, studied at home on Sunday, 150;
    • attendance of, in early childhood, 152;
    • library-book, mission of the average, 179;
    • companionships in view while choosing a, 201.
  • Symmetry in child-training, dependent on companionships, 200.
  • Sympathy:
    • of parents with children in amusements, 157;
    • in companionships, 199;
    • in fears, 235 f.;
    • place of, in child-training, 247–256;
    • defined, 248, 256;
    • Herbert Spencer on, 249;
    • in a child’s misdeeds and accidents, 254;
    • not wholly natural to parents, 256;
    • in the “home-atmosphere,” 261;
    • craved by a child at bed-time, 292.
  • Syro-Phœnician woman, an example of the mother-love, 266.

  • Table-talk, the value of, 187–196.
  • Taste in reading, cultivating a child’s, 175–186 [see Reading].
  • Teaching distinguished from training, 11.
  • Tease, training a child not to, 101–108.
  • Tenderly dealing with a child’s fears, 223–238 [see Fears].
  • Thought, profound, possible to a child, 80.
  • Thoughtfulness for others distinguished from self-forgetfulness, 169.
  • Thunder and lightning, overcoming a child’s fear of, 231.
  • Timidity to be overcome by training, 227.
  • Timothy’s mother, an example of the mother-love, 266.
  • Topics, assigning special, for next day’s family table-talk, 194.
  • Toys:
    • for Sunday, 145–147;
    • breaking of, a serious matter to a child, 243.
  • Training:
    • distinguished from teaching, 11;
    • defined, 12;
    • should begin at birth, 15;
    • shapes character, 16;
    • more than counseling, 17;
    • limited by a child’s capacity, 23;
    • special, necessary for every child, 29;
    • danger of its developing the poorer self, 30;
    • the child’s will, 37;
    • need of gentleness in, 44;
    • by discipline, 53;
    • a child to do unpleasant duties, 55, 59;
    • by denying requests, 61;
    • of an only child, 62;
    • letting alone as a means of, 83–92;
    • of a first child, 84 f.;
    • over-doing in, an error, 90;
    • “nagging” is not, 90;
    • to self-control, 93–100;
    • not to tease, 101–108;
    • Susannah Wesley’s method of, 105;
    • a child’s appetite, 109–118;
    • children as questioners, 119–128;
    • a child’s faith, 129–138;
    • to Sabbath observance, 139–154;
    • in amusements, 155–164;
    • to courtesy, 165–174;
    • a child’s taste in reading, 175;
    • value of table-talk in, 189;
    • child-companionships as an element in, 197;
    • has no place for scolding, 217–222;
    • tone of voice in, 219;
    • by tenderness toward a child’s fears, 223–238;
    • joyousness as a result of, 240;
    • sympathy as an aid in, 247–256;
    • home atmosphere as a power in, 257–262;
    • power of a mother’s love in, 263–276;
    • through the play of a child’s imagination, 277–282;
    • by good-night words and deeds, 291–300.
  • Trebonius, honoring the individuality of children, 74.
  • Trust:
    • child’s, is instinctive, 130;
    • prayer is not mere asking, but, 134.
  • “Tunge of a skolde,” John Skelton’s couplet on, 218.

  • Unselfishness:
    • the basis of courtesy, 165;
    • in a child’s companionships, 199.

  • Value:
    • of table-talk, 187–196;
    • giving added, to a child’s Christmas, 283–290.
  • Values, child-sorrows measured by those of the child, 243.
  • Voice, necessity of natural tone of, in training, 219.

  • Wagon, raisin-box, 67.
  • Wanting not always reason for granting, 69.
  • Washington and Braddock as to fear, 225.
  • Watch, boy who could not spare his, 77.
  • Waterloo, battle of, won on Eton’s playground, 161.
  • Wear, parents should decide what children may, 117.
  • Wellington, Duke of, quoted, 161.
  • Wesley, Susannah, her method in training, 105.
  • Whipping at bed-time, unwisdom of, 295.
  • Will, training of, rather than breaking, 37–52.
  • Wisdom:
    • in denying a child, 61–70;
    • more needed for letting alone than for commanding, 91.
  • Words, good-night [see Good-night].
  • Wordsworth, quoted, 81.
  • Worship:
    • more than mere quietness in church, 142;
    • family, on Sunday, 150.

  • “Yanking” at the reins is not good driving, 91.
  • Young:
    • parents, in danger of over-disciplining, 83;
    • teachers, peculiar influence of, 198;
    • people, welcoming the mother’s good-night kiss, 293.