CONUNDRUMS AND RIDDLES.
These are by no means of modern origin: the Sphinx puzzled the brains of some of the heroes of antiquity, and even Alexander the Great, as it is written, made several essays to untie the knot (a practical riddle) with which Gordius, the Phrygian king, who had been raised from the plow to the throne, tied up his implements of husbandry in the temple, in so intricate a manner, that universal monarchy was promised to the man who could undo it: after having been repeatedly baffled, he, at length, drew his sword, considering that he was entitled to the fulfillment of the promise, by cutting the Gordian knot.
The modern riddle or conundrum, however, is a simpler affair, invented to amuse. We append a list of some that will keep the company in good humor. The key or solution appears on a later page.
Conundrums.
1. He loved her. She hated him, but, woman-like, she would have him, and she was the death of him. Who was he?
2. Why is life the greatest of riddles?
3. If a church be on fire, why has the organ the smallest chance of escape?
4. Why should a sailor be the best authority as to what goes on in the moon?
5. What does a cat have that no other animal has?
6. When is a man behind the times?
7. What is the difference between a baby and a pair of boots?
8. Use me well, and I’m everybody; scratch my back, and I’m nobody.
9. What word becomes shorter by adding a syllable to it?
10. If a stupid fellow was going up for a competitive examination, why should he study the letter P?
11. Why is buttermilk like something that never happened?
12. Why is the letter O the noisiest of all the vowels?
13. Why is a Member of Parliament like a shrimp?
14. Why is a pig a paradox?
15. Why is a bad half-dollar like something said in a whisper?
16. Why do black sheep eat less than white ones?
17. Why is a barn-door fowl sitting on a gate like a halfpenny?
18. Why is a man searching for the Philosopher’s Stone like Neptune?
19. What is the difference between a much-worn fourpennypiece and a halfcrown?
20. Why is the nose placed in the middle of the face?
21. What is most like a hen stealing?
22. What is worse than “raining cats and dogs?”
23. When is butter like Irish children?
24. Why is a chronometer like thingumbob?
25. Of what color is grass when covered with snow?
26. Name in two letters the destiny of all earthly things?
27. What is even better than presence of mind in a railway accident?
28. What word contains all the vowels in due order?
29. Why is a caterpillar like a hot roll?
30. What is that which occurs twice in a moment, once in a minute, and not once in a thousand years?
31. What is that which will give a cold, cure a cold, and pay the doctor’s bill?
32. What is that which is neither flesh nor bone, yet has four fingers and a thumb?
33. What is the difference between a rhododendron and a cold apple-dumpling?
34. Why has man more hair than woman?
35. What is that which no one wishes to have, yet no one cares to lose?
36. Why is the letter G like the sun?
37. Why is the letter D like a wedding-ring?
38. What sweetens the cup of life, yet, divested of its end, embitters the most grateful draught?
39. Why should ladies not learn French?
40. Which tree is most suggestive of kissing?
41. What act of folly does a washerwoman commit?
42. Why should a cabman be brave?
43. What is the most difficult surgical operation?
44. Why is it difficult to flirt on board the P. and O. steamers?
45. What letter made Queen Bess mind her P’s and Q’s?
46. Why is it an insult to a cock-sparrow to mistake him for a pheasant?
47. What is that from which the whole may be taken, and yet some will remain?
48. Why is blind-man’s buff like sympathy?
49. When may a man be said to have four hands?
50. Why is it easy to break into an old man’s house?
51. Why should you not go to London by the 12.50 train?
52. Why should the male sex avoid the letter A?
53. When does a man sneeze three times?
54. What relation is the doormat to the scraper?
55. Why does a piebald pony never pay toll?
56. When does a steamboat captain say that he is what he is not?
57. Why is the letter S like a sewing-machine?
58. Why need France never fear an inundation?
59. What is the difference between a cow and a rickety chair?
60. What flower most resembles a bull’s mouth?
61. What does a stone become in the water?
62. If the alphabet were invited out to dine, what time would U, V, W, X, Y, and Z go?
63. Why are sailors bad horsemen?
64. When was beef-tea first introduced into England?
65. What letter is the pleasantest to a deaf woman?
66. Why are ladies like churches?
67. When is love a deformity?
68. Why is a mouse like hay?
69. Why is a madman equal to two men?
70. Why are good resolutions like ladies fainting in church?
71. Which is the merriest letter in the alphabet?
72. Why is a horse like the letter O?
73. What is the difference between a bankrupt and a feather-bed?
74. What is that word of five letters from which, if you take away two, only one remains?
75. Why is the letter B like a fire?
76. What word is pronounced quicker by adding a syllable to it?
77. Which animal travels with the most, and which with the least, luggage?
78. How many sticks go to the building of a crow’s-nest?
79. Which is the best-behaved food, cake or wine?
80. Which member of Congress wears the largest hat?
81. Why are bakers the most self-denying people?
82. Which of the constellations reminds you of an empty fireplace?
83. What relation is that child to its own father who is not its own father’s own son?
84. When does a pig become landed property?
85. Which is the heavier, the full or the new moon?
86. What is the best way to make a coat last?
87. Why is an alligator the most deceitful of animals?
88. Why are fowls the most profitable of live stock?
89. What is that which comes with a coach, goes with a coach, is of no use whatever to the coach, and yet the coach can’t go without it?
90. If your uncle’s sister is not your aunt, what relation is she to you?
91. Why does a duck put its head under water?
92. Why does it take it out again?
93. What vegetable products are the most important in history?
94. Why is the letter W like a maid of honor?
95. What letter is always invisible, yet never out of sight?
96. What is an old lady in the middle of a river like?
97. Why are E and I the happiest of the vowels?
98. Why is the letter F like a cow’s tail?
99. On which side of a pitcher is the handle?
100. What is higher and handsomer when the head is off?
101. Why is a pig in a parlor like a house on fire?
102. What is the keynote to good breeding?
103. What is the best thing to make in a hurry?
104. What Queen Mary, of England, had before, poor thing! what King William had behind, poor thing! what Queen Anne never had at all, poor thing!
105. What do you add to nine in order to make it three less?
106. Why is a tallow-chandler like a villain exposed?
107. What is it that walks with its head downwards?
108. Why could not Lord Beaconsfield insure his life?
109. Why is a lame dog like a schoolboy adding six and seven together?
110. Why is the Brooklyn Bridge like merit?
111. What we all require, what we all give, what we occasionally ask for, yet very seldom take?
112. A man remarks, looking at a portrait, “Uncles and brothers have I none, but that man’s father is my father’s son.” What relation is the original of the portrait to the speaker?
113.
114. What did Adam first plant in the Garden of Eden?
115. Four men went to sea on a marble slab. The first had no eyes, the second had no hands, the third had no legs, and the fourth was naked. The first saw a bird, the second shot it, the third ran and picked it up, and the fourth put it in his pocket. What is that?
116. What is Majesty, deprived of its externals?
117. If you saw an egg on a music-stool, what great poem would it remind you of?
118.
119. How would you make a thin man fat?
120. What is the difference between a young maid of sixteen and an old maid of sixty?
121. When was fruit known to use bad language?
122. If a man gets up on a donkey, where should he get down?
123. Why were Adam and Eve a grammatical anomaly?
124. What is lengthened by being cut at both ends?
125. Why are men like gooseberries?
126. Why should you never write a secret with a quill-pen?
127. “I am what I am; I am not what I follow. If I were what I follow, I should not be what I am.” What is it?
128. Which is the most cautious of birds?
129. Which is the strongest day of the week?
130. If a pig wanted to build himself a house, how would he set about it?
131. Why does a donkey prefer thistles to oats?
132. Where can you always find sympathy?
133. What is the difference between a lady and a looking-glass?
134. Why need a man never starve in the desert?
135. Why are oysters the best food for dyspeptic people?
136.
137. What was Joan of Arc made of?
138. Why is a kitten biting her own tail like a good manager?
139. Why is the figure 9 like a peacock?
140. Why did Adam bite the apple when Eve gave it to him?
141. Which are the most contented birds?
142. What animals have only one leg between them?
Enigmas.
143. In my first my second sat; my third and fourth I ate.
144.
145.
146.
147.
148.
149.
150.
151. My first I hope you are; my second I see you are; my whole I know you are.
152. My first is French, my second English, and my whole Latin.
153.
The following fine example of the charade is from the facile pen of W. M. Praed:
154.
We cannot better conclude than with the beautiful, though hackneyed, enigma on the letter H, one of the most perfect ever written. The honor of its authorship belongs to Miss Ferrier.
155.
Answers to Conundrums, Enigmas, Etc.
1. A flea.
2. Because we must all give it up.
3. Because the engine cannot play upon it.
4. Because he has been to sea (see).
5. Kittens.
6. When he’s a weak (week) back.
7. One I was and the other I wear.
8. A looking-glass.
9. Short.
10. Because P makes “ass” “pass.”
11. Because it hasn’t a curd (occurred).
12. Because all the rest are in-audible.
13. Because he has M. P. at the end of his name.
14. Because it is killed first and cured afterward.
15. Because it is uttered, but not allowed (aloud).
16. Because there are fewer of them.
17. Because its head is on one side and its tail on the other.
18. Because he is a-seeking (sea-king) what never was.
19. Two-and-twopence.
20. Because it’s the scenter (centre).
21. A cock robbing (cock-robin).
22. Hailing omnibuses.
23. When it is made into little pats.
24. Because it’s a watch-you may-call-it.
25. Invisible green.
26. D K.
27. Absence of body.
28. Facetiously.
29. Because it’s the grub that makes the butterfly.
30. The letter M.
31. A draught (draft).
32. A glove.
33. The one is a rhododendron and the other is a cold apple-dumpling. (You surely wouldn’t wish for a greater difference than that.)
34. Because he’s naturally her suitor (hirsuter).
35. A bald head.
36. Because it is the centre of light.
37. Because we cannot be wed without it.
39. Because one tongue is enough for any woman.
40. Yew. (This is a riddle which should be used with due precaution.)
41. Putting out tubs to catch soft water when it rains hard.
42. Because none but the brave deserve the fair (fare).
43. To take the jaw out of a woman.
44. Because all the mails (males) are tied up in bags.
45. R made her (Armada).
46. Because it is making game of him.
47. The word “wholesome.”
48. Because it is a fellow feeling for another.
49. When he doubles his fists.
50. Because his gait (gate) is broken and his locks are few.
51. Because it is ten to one if you catch it.
52. Because it makes men mean.
53. When he cannot help it.
54. A step farther (step-father).
55. Because his master pays it for him.
56. When he says he’s a bacca’-stopper (ease her, back her, stop her).
57. Because it makes needles needless.
58. Because in France all the water is “l’eau.”
59. The one gives milk and the other gives whey (way).
60. A cowslip.
61. Wet.
62. They would go after tea (T).
63. Because they ride on the main (mane).
64. When Henry VIII. dissolved the Pope’s bull.
65. A, because it makes her hear.
66. Because there is no living without them.
67. When it is all on one side.
68. Because the cat’ll (cattle) eat it.
69. Because he is one beside himself.
70. Because the sooner they are carried out the better.
71. U, because it is always in fun.
72. Because Gee (G) makes it Go.
73. The one is “hard up” and the other soft down.
74. Stone.
75. Because it makes oil boil.
76. Quick.
77. The elephant the most, because he never travels without his trunk. The fox and the cock the least, because they have only one brush and comb between them.
78. None; they are all carried to it.
79. Cake, which is only occasionally “tipsy,” while wine is always drunk.
80. The one who has the largest head.
81. Because they sell what they knead (need) themselves.
82. The Great Bear (grate bare).
83. His daughter.
84. When he is turned into a meadow.
85. The new moon; because the full moon is a great deal lighter.
86. Make the waistcoat and trousers first.
87. Because he takes you in with an open countenance.
88. Because for every grain they give a peck.
89. Noise.
90. Your mother.
91. For divers reasons.
92. For sun-dry reasons.
93. Dates.
94. Because it is always in waiting.
95. The letter I.
96. Like to be drowned.
97. Because they are in happiness, while all the rest are in purgatory.
98. Because it is the end of beef.
99. The outside.
100. Your pillow.
101. Because the sooner it is put on the better.
102. B natural.
103. Haste.
104. The letter M.
105. The letter S. S(IX).
106. Because his wicked works are brought to light.
107. A nail in a shoe.
108. Because no one was clever enough to make out his policy.
109. Because he puts down three and carries one.
110. Because it is very often passed over.
111. Advice.
112. His son.
113. A bed.
114. His foot.
115. A lie, of course.
117. “The Lay of the Last Minstrel.”
118.
119. Throw him out of a second-story window, and let him come down plump.
120. The one is happy and careless the other cappy and hairless.
121. When the first apple cursed the first pair (pear).
122. From a swan’s breast.
123. Because they were two relatives without an antecedent.
124. A ditch.
125. Because women make fools of them.
126. Because it is apt to split.
127. A footman.
128. The dove, because she minds her peas and coos (p’s and q’s).
129. Sunday, because all the others are weak days.
130. Tie a knot in his tail, and call it a pig’s tie (pig-stye).
131. Because he’s an ass.
132. In the dictionary.
133. The one speaks without reflecting, the other reflects without speaking.
134. Because he can always eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there.
135. Because they die just (digest) before they eat them.
137. Maid of Orleans, of course.
138. Because she makes both ends meet.
139. Because without a tail it is nothing.
140. Because he had no knife.
141. Rooks, because they never complain without caws.
142. A pair of post-horses (which have only the postilion’s leg between them).
143. Insatiate.
144. Cod.
145. Chocolate.
146. Tea-chest.
147. Won-der.
148. On! Stanley! on!—On-i-on.
149. A toast.
150. The letter E.
151. Wel-come.
152. La-tin.
153. Rhu-barb.
154. Bow-string.
155. The letter H.
REBUSSES.
THE FOLLOWING ARE REBUSSES ON THE NAMES OF BIRDS.
1. A child’s plaything.
2. What we all do at every meal.
3. A disorder incident to man and horse.
4. Nothing, twice yourself, and fifty.
5. What we should always be ready to do to persons fighting, and the top of a house.
6. Equality and decay.
7. A celebrated English architect.
8. A tailor’s implement.
9. A lever.
10. An instrument for raising weights.
11. Three-eighths of a monthly publication, with a baked dish.
12. A valuable species of corn, and a very necessary part of it.
13. A cheated person.
14. A distant country.
15. Spoil half a score.
16. The defence of a bridge.
17. An instrument of diversion for men and boys.
18. A piece of wood, and a fashionable name for a street.
19. To cut off, and a vowel.
20. A piece of land, and a good thing which it produces.
21. What we say a person has got when he falls into the water.
22. An Animal which a Jew must not eat, a vowel, and a preposition.
23.
24.
ANAGRAMS.
1. Ten tea pots.
2. Sly Ware.
4. Golden land.
5. Great helps.
6. Rare mad frolic.
7. Honor est a Nilo.
8. Hard case.
9. Claims Arthur’s seat.
10. No, appear not at Elba.
11. No more stars.
12. O poison Pitt.
13. I hire parsons.
14. Got as a clue.
15. To love ruin.
16. Best in prayer.
17. Nay, I repent it.
18. Veto. Un corse la finira.
19. Comical trade.
20. Spare him not.
21. Real fun.
22. In Magic tale.
23. Evil fast.
24. Yes Milton.
25. ’Tis ye govern.
26. See a pug dog.
27. A just master.
28. Made in pint pots.
29. A hot pen.
30. I call many sot.
31. A nice Pet.
32. The bar.
33. The law.
35. I send into Siam.
36. True, I am in.
37. Hire a prison.
38. There we sat.
LOGOGRIPHS.
1.
A creature was formerly seen in England, which has lately been expelled from it, and which has some very peculiar properties appertaining to it. It stands upon one leg,—on which, without any body, is seen a great square head. It has three eyes, of which the centre is by far the largest; indeed so much so, that it has before now contained two more. The head is of a very peculiar construction, but exactly suited to its design: whenever it is about to be used, it is separated in halves, and, when reconnected, is held up to the gaze of an insolent rabble. All the notice, however, which it generally attracts, results from its being the effectual means of exhibiting another to the gaze of a hostile crowd. Such is this when entire; but when divided, and cut to pieces, a curious and careful observer may collect all that follows, by a selection and appropriate arrangement of its fragments.
A dose of medicine conveyed in a very agreeable manner, as, however nauseous its ingredients may have originally been, it is quite tasteless. Such a state of the physical powers as requires such a dose. A part of the face, of a color quite different from the rest, and the more handsome, the greater the difference. A public record on which many are very anxious to get their names entered; or, to descend from great things to small, a substance that is devoured every morning for breakfast. A river which flows through a very delightful and agreeable part of Europe. What curious people are very fond of doing. What a candidate, for your vote at the next general election, if he should think it worth his while, will demand. A very poetical portion of the watery element, which murmurs and meanders in the description of many a poetaster. A quality of resinous substances. A female nickname. What is very necessary to be done occasionally in your shrubbery. An exclamation of surprise. A flower displaying more to admire than Solomon in all his glory. To tear. The expressed juice of olives,—and its adjective. A conjunction. And two initial letters, whose reiterated sounds have drowned the voices of strutting monarchs and ephemeral heroes.