How to Behave and How to Amuse: A Handy Manual of Etiquette and Parlor Games

JUVENILE GAMES.

“What d’ye Buy?”

This game may be played by any number from three to thirteen. There are a dozen good-sized pieces of cardboard, each bearing a colored illustration of one of the “trades” following: viz., a milliner, a fishmonger, a greengrocer, plumber, a music-seller, a toyman, mason, a pastrycook, a hardware-man, a tailor, a poulterer, and a doctor. Besides these there are a number of smaller tickets, half a dozen to each trade. Each of these has the name of the particular trade and also the name of some article in which the particular tradesman in question may be considered to deal. A book accompanies the cards, containing a nonsense story, with a blank at the end of each sentence.

One of the players is chosen as leader, and the others each select a trade, receiving the appropriate picture, and the six cards containing the names of the articles in which the tradesman deals. He places his “sign” before him on the table, and holds the remainder of his cards in his hand. The leader then reads the story, and whenever he comes to one of the blanks, he glances towards one of the other players, who must immediately, under penalty of a forfeit, supply the blank with some article he sells, at the same time laying down the card bearing its name. The incongruity of the article named with the context make the fun of the game, which is heightened by the vigilance which each player must exercise in order to avoid a forfeit. Where the number of players is very small, each may undertake two or more trades.

We will quote a small portion of the story, by way of illustration. The concluding words indicate the trade of the person at whom the leader glances to fill up a given hiatus.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I propose to relate some curious adventures which befell me and my wife Peggy the other day, but as I am troubled with a complaint called ‘Non mi ricordo,’ or the ‘Can’t remembers,’ I shall want each of you to tell me what you sell: therefore when I stop and look at one of you, you must be brisk in recommending your goods. Whoever does not name something before I count ‘three’ must pay a forfeit. Attention!

“Last Friday week I was awoke very early in the morning by a loud knocking at my door in Humguffin Court. I got up in a great fright, and put on”—(looks at Toyman, who replies, “a fool’s cap and bells,” and lays down that card).

“When I got downstairs, who should there be but a fat porter, with a knot, on which he carried”—(Poulterer) “a pound of pork sausages.”

“‘Hallo!’ said I, ‘my fine fellow, what do you want at this time of day?’ He answered”—(Fishmonger) “A cod’s head and shoulders.”

“‘Get along with you,’ I said; ‘there’s my neighbor, Dr. Drenchall, I see, wants’”—(Butcher) “a sheep’s head.”

“I now went up to shave, but my soap-dish was gone, and the maid brought me instead”—(Milliner) “a lady’s chip hat.”

“My razor had been taken to chop firewood, so I used”—(Greengrocer) “a cucumber.”

“I then washed my face in”—(Doctor) “a cup of quinine,” “cleaned my teeth with”—(Fishmonger) “a fresh herring,” and “combed my hair with”—(Pastrycook) “a jam tart.”

“My best coat was taken possession of by pussy and kittens, so I whipped on”—(hardware-man) “a dripping pan.”

“The monkey, seeing how funny I looked, snatched off my wig, and clapped on my head”—(Poulterer) “a fat hen.”

“I now awoke my wife, and asked her what she had nice for breakfast; she said”—(Doctor) “a mustard plaster.”

“Then I scolded Sukey, the servant, and called her” (Poulterer) “a tough old turkey.”

“But she saucily told me I was no better than”—(Music-seller) “an old fiddle.”

“I soon had enough of that, so I asked my wife to go with me to buy”—(Tailor) “a pair of trousers.”

“But she said she must have her lunch first, which consisted of——” etc., etc., through half a dozen pages, the tradesmen supplying more or less appropriate articles to fill up the gaps in the discourse.

“A Trip To Paris.”

There is another game on the same principle, known by the somewhat ambitious title of “The most Laughable Thing on Earth; or A Trip to Paris.” The tickets for this game are nearly 150 in number, each containing name and grotesque sketch of some article or articles, as “a hod of mortar,” “a guinea-pig,” “a basin of gruel,” “a wheelbarrow,” “a jar of pickles,” “a tub of soft soap,” “two dozen eggs,” “Jemima’s new bonnet,” “some castor-oil,” “a penny whistle,” “a peck of peas,” etc., etc. The game is full of innocent nonsense and played precisely as in the last case (save that there is no reference to any particular trades). The story to be read by the leader commences as follows:

“Brown, Jones, and Robinson were walking together in the streets of Boston, when Brown suddenly exclaimed, ‘I will go to Paris, and return the personification of ——’

“‘I, too,’ said Jones, ‘should like to see Paris, but I have not got ——’

“‘And I should like to accompany you,’ said Robinson, ‘if I knew ——’

“‘Go with us then,” said Brown, ‘and we’ll have ——’

“‘There’s an excursion train to New York in the morning; we can see the “lions” there on our way, and then take ——’

“It was now ‘Pack and off!’ Brown went to bid his friends good-bye, giving to each a parting gift. To an old schoolfellow he gave ——

“To Matilda Jane, a young lady who laid claim to his heart, he gave, with a kiss, ——

“Now, Matilda Jane would not be outdone, so she kissed him twice, and begged him to accept of ——

“Brown was perplexed, but he took the gift, and going home was saluted by the children, who shouted, ‘There goes a man with ——’

“That night he had wonderful dreams; he thought he was chased by ——

“And that he was trying to crowd into his carpetbag ——

“When a man came along and charged him with stealing ——

“He was enraged at this, and was about to pitch into the man, when he awoke, and found it all a dream, caused by his having eaten for supper ——

“He was early at the station, and on asking for a ticket, the clerk gave him ——”

And so on, in like manner. These last games, as a change from graver recreations, make a good deal of fun, particularly with young players.

The Cook who Doesn’t Like Peas.

The fun of this game depends on a fair proportion of the players not being acquainted with it. The leader begins, addressing the first player, “I have a cook who doesn’t like peas (p’s); what will you give her for her dinner?” The person addressed, if acquainted with the secret, avoids the letter p in his answer, and, for example, says, “I will give her some walnuts.” The question is then asked of the second person, who, if unacquainted with the trick, is likely enough to offer some delicacy which contains the letter p; e. g., potatoes, asparagus, pork, apple-pie, pickled cabbage, peanuts, etc., etc. When this occurs, the offender is called upon to pay a forfeit, but the precise nature of his offence is not explained to him. He is simply told, in answer to his expostulations, that “the cook doesn’t like p’s.” When a sufficient number of forfeits has been extracted, the secret is revealed, and those who have not already guessed it are aggravated by being told over and over again that the cook did not like p’s, and if they would persist in giving them to her, they must, of course, take the consequences.

Word-making.

It is surprising what a fund of amusement may be derived by the children from four or five alphabets, printed on card-board, and then cut up into, say, half-inch squares, with a single letter on each. A double supply of vowels will be found an advantage. The most simple mode of using the alphabets is for one person to pick out the letters forming some word, e. g., “nevertheless,” and then hand them, well mixed together, to another player, who endeavors to discover what word they form.

Another game is played as follows.—The players, each of whom is supplied with paper and pencil, are divided equally into two sides, and the leader having selected a word, suppose “notwithstanding,” each party sets to work to see how many different words they can make of the same letters. (Thus from the word above suggested may be made “not, with, stand, standing, gin, ton, to, wig, wit, his, twit, tan, has, had, an, nod, tow, this, sat, that, sit, sin, tin, wing, what, who, wish, win, wan, won,” and probably a host of others.) A scrutiny is then taken, all words common to both parties being struck out. The remainder are then compared, and the victory is adjudged to the one having the largest number of words.

Sometimes the division into sides is dispensed with, and each player depends on himself. Another purpose for which the alphabets in question is used is that of forming anagrams, in the composition of which they are a very great assistance, but this is hardly simple enough for children. We are inclined to doubt whether the results obtained in this game bear a fair proportion to the labor involved; though it is unquestionable that once in a way an anagram is produced that is curiously appropriate. We may instance the following:

A fourth Spelling Game is played by each person drawing, say twenty letters hap-hazard, and trying to form them into a sentence, the palm of merit being awarded to the player who at the same time produces the most coherent phrase, and also succeeds in using the greatest proportion of the letters assigned to him.

The “Young Folks’ Concert.”

The little players sit or stand round the room in a circle. The leader assigns to each some musical instrument, as harp, flute, violoncello, trombone, etc., and also selects one for himself. Some well-known tune is then given out, say “Yankee Doodle,” and the players all begin to play accordingly, each doing his best to imitate, both in sound and action, the instrument which has been assigned to him, the effect being generally extremely harmonious. The leader commences with his own instrument, but without any warning suddenly ceases, and begins instead to perform on the instrument assigned to one or other of the players. Such player is bound to notice the change, and forthwith to take to the instrument just abandoned by the leader, incurring a forfeit if he fails to do so.

Mary’s Little Lamb.

This is a great favorite with the young folks. When everything else has become tiresome, some one starts the first line of the verse,

All sing, and on the second verse being reached the last syllable of the first line is dropped, then the next to the last, the third, the fourth and so on, until the line is totally omitted. The aim of the singers is to keep exact time, counting a beat for each omitted syllable, and any one whose voice breaks in when all should be silent, pays a forfeit. The same can be done with “John Brown’s Body,” repeating the first verse and omitting syllable after syllable at the end of the first line until there is nothing left to sing but the chorus.

Funny Outlines.

The artistic faculty of the young folks is in this case brought into requisition. Slips of paper being distributed, each young player marks on his slip a crooked line of any shape he or she pleases. The papers are then exchanged, and each has to draw some sort of figure, working in as part of the outline the crooked line already drawn by his neighbor.

The best plan in this game is to allow the line already drawn, if possible, to suggest some figure, and to work out that idea. It is of course understood that the works of art to be produced are only expected to be of the very roughest description. If there is a difficulty in dealing with the outline as it stands, the player is entitled to place it on its side, or even upside down, if he prefers it.

Thus a curve may suggest a swan, a square may give a hint of a house, a wave-line of a snake or an eel, a long sweeping curve may fit in as a horse’s back, or an irregular outline may afford an idea for a comical face. The sketches produced with strict regard to the conditions of the game will be found full of fun and novelty, if not characterized by any high degree of art.