LESSON IV.
Purpose.—To suggest kindness and unselfishness as two underlying principles of good manners.
Method.—A familiar conversation.
The Lesson.
Suppose a boy seated in the easiest chair in the room, reading and enjoying himself, should rise on seeing his mother enter, and offer her the chair. What would you say of that boy?
“That he was kind.”
Then what kind of a heart would you suppose he had?
“A kind heart.”
And of whom did this kind heart lead him to think?
“Of his mother.”
Do you suppose he disliked to give up the chair?
“I think he did.”
“I think he was glad to give it up.”
How could that be?
“Why, he wanted the chair, but he loved his mother so much he was glad to give it up.”
Mary has told it very well. What can you say of him beside that he was kind?
“He was unselfish.”
What is it to be unselfish?
“To think of others before ourselves.”
And to what do kindness and unselfishness lead?
“To politeness.”
There is a rule that may help you in being unselfish and polite, and I wish you to learn it. It is this:
“Do to others as you wish others to do to you.”
LESSON V.
Purpose.—To suggest as a reason for cultivating good manners that we thus make our manners like those of the best people.
Method.—Questions and answers.
The Lesson.
Of what did we talk in our last lesson?
“Of kindness.”
“And trying to make others happy.”
What is it to think of the happiness of others before our own?
“Unselfishness.”
And if we practice unselfishness, what can be said of us?
“That we have good manners.”
But do all kind and unselfish people have good manners?
(Some are in doubt.) Let us see. I do not think a truly kind heart will allow any one to be rude, but how is it in this case? It is not thought polite to eat with the knife. Have you ever known kind people to do it?
“Yes, Miss B.”
Why do you think they do it?
“Because they know no better.”
Can they learn better?
“Yes, Miss B.”
How?
“From other people.”
How from other people?
“They can watch, and do what they see nice people do.”
And how do these nice people know?
“Perhaps they have watched some other nice people.”
If one who has used his knife in eating learns better, what ought he to do?
“To stop using it.”
And if he continues to use it, what will be thought of him?
“That he is odd or queer.”
Should you like to be thought odd or queer?
“No ma’am.”
Then what must you do?
“We must watch people who know what good manners are, and try to make our manners like theirs.”
What kind of people are polite?
“The best people.”
If we learn to do as the best people do, how shall we be considered?
“To be best people.”
Now tell me one reason why our manners should be good.
“Because the best people have good manners.”
And another?
“Because we wish to be considered best.”
LESSON 6.
Purpose.—To suggest gaining the esteem of others as a reason why good manners should be cultivated.
Method.—A story.
The Lesson.
A boy once wished to find a place to work. He went to a shop in town where he had heard help was needed. Many were there before him, and he thought he stood no chance at all of getting the work, but much to his surprise he was employed. He said, “Why, sir, I did not expect it when so many were ahead of me.” “Do you wish to know why I hired you?” said the gentleman. “You came in quietly, you took off your hat, you gave your chair to an old man, you stood patiently until your turn came, and then you spoke pleasantly and in a manly tone of voice; in fact, I saw you were a well-bred boy, and that is the reason I hired you.”
If this boy had been rude, what would have happened?
“He would not have been employed.”
How did the gentleman feel toward him?
“He liked him.”
What was his one reason for liking him? He had never seen him before.
“His manners were good.”
If your manners are good, how will people feel toward you?
“They will like us.”
Tell me, then, a reason why you should be polite.
“We should be polite because people like us better for it.”
Chapter IV.
MANNERS IN SCHOOL.
FIRST TWO YEARS.
Illustrative Lessons.
LESSON 7.
Purpose.—To show the necessity of good manners in school.
Method.—A guessing lesson.
The Lesson.
Shall we have a guessing game to-day?
“Yes’m.”
Very well. You may guess, Arthur, why I like to have a boy enter this room quietly.
“Because you have told him to.”
What is it to do as I have told him?
“It is minding you.”
You may guess, Mary, what I should think of a boy who came in noisily.
“That he was rude.”
And the other boy was——?
“Polite.”
Then if he minded me, it made him——?
“Polite.”
You may guess, George, why I like to have Johnnie pick up my crayon when I drop it.
“You want it.”
Yes, but I could get it for myself. Why do I like to have Johnnie do it for me?
“It shows how kind he is.”
If he should not pick it up, would it be because he was unkind?
“Perhaps he wouldn’t think.”
What have we learned about those who try to think of doing others a kindness?
“That they are polite.”
You may guess how I feel toward Johnnie when he is kind and polite to me.
“You like him.”
May I guess that you like me when I am kind and polite to you?
“Yes, Miss B.”
Suppose we should always be kind and polite to each other here in school, what kind of a school should we have?
“A good school.”
“A pleasant school.”
Then we must try and make our manners in school good. I must be polite to you, and you polite to me.
LESSON 8.
Purpose.—To show that regularity of attendance at school is a mark of good manners.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
You may read a part of yesterday’s lesson, Susie.
“I can’t.”
Why not?
“I was not here yesterday, and I don’t know the lesson.”
Why were you not here?
“I did not wish to come.”
What did you lose by not coming?
“My lessons.”
Does that make any hard work for me, Susie?
“Yes’m. You will have to teach the lesson again.”
What will the rest of the class do while I am teaching you this lesson?
“They will have to wait for me.”
What is thought of a school when the pupils do not come steadily?
“That it is not a good school.”
Tell me, then, why it is unfair for pupils to stay away from school, when they can come.
“It makes extra work for the teacher.”
“It keeps the rest of the class waiting.”
“It gives the school a bad name.”
Yes, and all this is unkind, and if unkind——?
“It is impolite.”
LESSON 9.
Purpose.—To show that punctuality of attendance at school is a sign of good manners.
Method.—A contrast drawn and lesson deduced.
The Lesson.
It is not a little boy in our room of whom I am about to tell you. I hope there is not such a child in our room. But there is a boy somewhere who has to be called and called in the morning, and then he yawns, and takes another nap, and puts off getting out of bed as long as he possibly can. He is late at breakfast, late in doing his morning’s work, and late at school. He goes into his school-room after the rest are at their work, and disturbs the teacher and the children, feels very unhappy, and perhaps gets a mark that he does not like.
There is another boy somewhere, and I guess right here in this room. He does not wait for his mother to call him, but when it is time he springs out of bed, and is ready in time for his breakfast, and gets his work done, and starts for school with a happy face, and arrives there in time for a game with his school-mates and a pleasant word with his teacher before school begins. Which one of these boys would you rather be, John?
“The one who is not late.”
Why?
“Because it makes trouble when we come in late.”
How does it make trouble?
“We do not mind you, for you have told us not to be late.”
“Sometimes you have to stop the lesson and help us take off our things.”
“And show us the place in the book.”
And how about the class?
“They look at us when we come in, and forget their lesson.”
If you are unkind enough not to mind me, and to disturb the class, what are your manners?
“Bad.”
Tell me how it is if you try not to be late.
“We are kind and polite.”
LESSON 10.
Purpose.—To show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
You may tell me what you do in getting ready to go on a visit.
“We bathe.”
“And comb our hair.”
“And clean our nails.”
“And put on our best clothes.”
Why should you do all this?
“Because we wish to look nice.”
Why do you care to look nice?
“People see us.”
What of that?
“We ought to make ourselves as nice as we can to other people.”
“They like us better if we are clean.”
Then what is one reason why you make yourselves tidy?
“To make people like us.”
Are there any people here whom you wish to like you?
“Yes, Miss B., you and our school-mates.”
Tell me one way to make us like you.
“To keep ourselves clean.”
“And our clothes clean.”
If you do this with the idea of pleasing others, what can we say of you?
“We are polite.”
LESSON 11.
Purpose.—To show that care in keeping the school-room clean is a sign of good manners.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
There is a rug at the door, children. Why is it there?
“We are to clean our shoes on it when they are muddy.”
Jack did not know, did he, when he came in? What is the use of cleaning your shoes?
“It keeps the floor clean.”
How else can you keep the floor clean?
“We need not throw paper on it.”
“Nor anything else.”
And why keep the floor clean?
“That our room may be nice.”
“You wish us to keep it clean.”
Once in a while some little children are careless about it. Do you suppose they are thinking about you or me?
“No, Miss B., neither one.”
Then we must call them impolite.
In what way, then, can you show good manners?
“By trying to keep our school-room neat and clean.”
Subjects for Additional Lessons.
Care of school furniture.
Care of halls, piazzas, walls.
Care of school grounds.
Care of books.
Economy in using what is furnished by the school.
Care in using borrowed articles and in returning them.
Only quiet conduct permissible in the school-room at any time.
LESSON 12.
Purpose.—To show how pupils should conduct themselves toward their teachers.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
Suppose when I wished to speak to you I should call you boy instead of Harry, how would you like it?
“I shouldn’t like it.”
Well, I might call you pupil?
“I shouldn’t like that either.”
How would it do to call you child, Mary?
“No one would know which child.”
What must I call any of you that you may know who is meant?
“You must call us by our names.”
Do you like your own name?
“Yes’m.”
Do you suppose I like my name?
“Yes’m.”
Then what should you do when you speak to your teacher?
“We should call you by your real name.”
Why?
“Because it is polite if you wish it.”
Note.—A teacher’s name should be taught to pupils when they first enter school.
Subjects for Additional Lessons.
1. Rendering assistance to teachers.
2. Care in not interrupting a teacher.
3. Kind treatment of school-mates.
4. Respectful treatment of the janitor.
5. Respectful treatment of visitors.
6. Respectful treatment of those who address the school.
Note.—Subjects for many lessons may be found in Reminders, Chapter XII., etc.
Chapter V.
MANNERS IN SCHOOL.
SECOND TWO YEARS.
Illustrative Lessons.
LESSON 13.
Purpose.—To show the necessity of good manners in school.
Method.—A suggestive incident related, followed by a conversation.
The Lesson.
One time a little girl whom I knew had a birth-day party, and I was invited. I went, and saw many little girls and boys wearing their best clothes, their brightest faces, and pleasantest smiles. They also had brought the best of something else. Do you know what?
“Their best manners.”
Yes. These same boys and girls were in my school, and as I saw how lovely they could be at a party, it made me wish something. Do you know what?
“That they would be so in school.”
What difference would it make?
“It would make the school pleasanter.”
“It would make it better.”
I wish you would all think what politeness in school would lead you to do.
“We should be kind to you.”
“We should mind you.”
And then you would be what kind of pupils?
“Obedient.”
Yes. What else would you do?
“Learn our lessons.”
What kind of pupils would you be?
“Diligent pupils.”
“Industrious pupils.”
If you are obedient and industrious all day, how would you feel when school closed?
“Happy.”
How many think it will pay to be polite in school? How many will try?
If we study and practise good manners here, how will it be in other places?
“Our manners will be good.”
Give two reasons why our school manners should be good.
“Good manners help to make a pleasant school.”
“Good manners studied and practised in school aid in their practice elsewhere.”
Note.—Terms obedient, diligent, etc., are supposed to have been given in moral lessons.
LESSON 14.
Purpose.—To show that regularity of attendance at school is a sign of good manners.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
When I called the roll this morning, did every one answer to his name?
“No, Miss B., some were not here.”
Why do you suppose they were not here?
“Perhaps they were sick.”
“Perhaps they had to work.”
“Perhaps they had gone away on a visit.”
“Perhaps they did not wish to come.”
How many reasons does that make?
“Four.”
How many good reasons?
“Two.”
What are the poor reasons?
“That they are away on a visit.”
“That they do not wish to come.”
What do you say of children who often stay away from school.
“That they are not steady in coming.”
Yes, or that their attendance is not regular. Tell me how many people wish you to be regular in your attendance at school.
“You do, because we lose our lessons if we stay away.”
“And our school-mates, because they have to wait for us to make up lost lessons.”
“And our parents, and all good people who know us, because they wish us to learn.”
“We all wish our school to have a good name.”
Then what do you think of an absence that can be helped?
“It is unkind.”
“It is impolite.”
LESSON 15.
Purpose.—To show that punctuality of attendance is a sign of good manners.
Method.—A story followed by a conversation.
The Lesson.
I once knew a little girl with blue eyes and rosy cheeks and lovely golden hair. Everybody loved her because she was so sweet and loving and kind. But even this dear little girl had some faults, and one was in putting off whatever she had to do.
When her mamma would say, “Bessie, it is time to start for school,” she would answer sweetly, “Yes, mamma, I shall go in a minute,” but the minutes would fly and Bessie would not start. Of course she was often late. What trouble did she cause by her tardiness?
“She had a tardy mark against her name, and spoiled the record of the school.”
“She displeased her mamma.”
“And her teacher.”
“She disturbed the class by going in late.”
Then, even if she were a very nice little girl in most things, what did this show her to be?
“Selfish and unkind and impolite.”
Why?
“Because she made others unhappy.”
What do you say of one who is always at school on time?
“We say he is punctual.”
What is one way by which politeness in school can be shown?
“By punctuality.”
LESSON 16.
Purpose.—To show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
Suppose a boy should come to school with his face and hands unwashed and his hair uncombed, what would you say of him?
“That he was not nice.”
How would you feel toward him?
“We should not like to look at him.”
“Nor sit beside him.”
“Nor touch him.”
What do you say of people whom you do not wish to see or touch?
“They are disagreeable.”
What must people expect when they make themselves disagreeable?
“That they will not be liked.”
If they show so little care for the good opinion of others, what may be said of them?
“That they are disrespectful.”
And if they are disrespectful?
“They are impolite.”
Then how can pupils show politeness to teacher and school-mates?
“By being clean and tidy.”
LESSON 17.
Purpose.—To show that care for school belongings is a sign of good manners.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
Think just two minutes of the question I am about to ask you, and then, if you have something to say, raise hands. How can we keep our school-rooms, school-buildings, and school-grounds in good order? You may begin with our room, Mary.
“When it is muddy we must clean our shoes on the mat before we come in.”
“We must not throw things on the floor.”
“We must keep things in their places.”
“We must not mark the desks.”
“Nor the wall.”
How is it with the steps, or piazzas, or the halls?
“We must take the same care of them as of the inside.”
What of the yard?
“We must not throw papers or anything else in it.”
“Nor trample down the grass.”
“Except on the playground.”
Suppose, instead of taking care of things in this way, some boy should carelessly throw things about, mar the furniture, or trample down the grass?
“He would be a bad boy.”
“Nobody would like him.”
“If he kept doing it, perhaps he would be sent home.”
If he kept doing it when he knew better, and when he was told not to, what would you say of him?
“That he was disobedient.”
And what may be said of one who neglects the wishes of others?
“That he is impolite.”
Yes, or ill-bred. If pupils take good care of everything belonging to school, what can be said of them?
“That they are well-bred.”
Subjects for Additional Lessons.
1. Care of books.
2. Economy in using what is furnished by the school.
3. Care in using borrowed articles and in returning them.
4. Only quiet conduct permissible in the school-room at any time.
LESSON 18.
Purpose.—To show how pupils should conduct themselves towards their teacher.
Method.—A short incident related and conclusion drawn.
The Lesson.
One time I heard a mother say to her two boys, “I wish you to do some work for me. There are the chickens to be fed, Henry, and old Doll is waiting for Charles to give her her morning’s meal.” The boys both heard distinctly. This is how Henry’s face looked: round as an apple, eyes bright, a pleasant smile on his lips, and with an “all right, mother,” he started on a run to the barn where the hens were. This is how Charles looked: a long face, eyes dull and sober, a scowl on his forehead, as he moped along to feed old Doll, after being repeatedly told to do so by his mother. Tell me what the first face meant.
“It meant that Henry was the better boy.”
“It meant that he intended to obey his mother.”
“And to do so right off.”
“And in a pleasant way.”
What did the other face mean?
“It meant that Charles did not like to obey.”
“And he intended to take his own time.”
“And he was cross about it.”
Yes, you would know he was ill-natured by the scowl.
What do you say of Henry’s treatment of his mother?
“It was kind and polite.”
Did any of you ever act like Charles? And here in school? If you treat me kindly and politely, how will you show it in one way?
“By obeying you immediately and cheerfully.”
Chapter VI.
MANNERS AT HOME.
FIRST TWO YEARS.
Illustrative Lessons.
LESSON 19.
Purpose.—To awaken an interest in home manners.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
Whom do you love best in all the world?
“Papa and mamma.”
Why do you love them best?
“They are good to us.”
“They take care of us.”
“They love us.”
How ought you to repay them?
“We ought to be kind to them.”
How kind?
“We ought to be kinder to them than to any one else in the world.”
What means about the same thing as kindness?
“Politeness.”
If so, ought you ever to be impolite to them?
“No, Miss B., we ought to be more polite to them than to any one else.”
Note.—A similar lesson on politeness to brothers and sisters may be given here.
LESSON 20.
Purpose.—To specify attentions due to home friends.
Method.—A conversation.
The Lesson.
How ought we to treat everybody?
“Politely.”
Whom should we treat the most politely of any one?
“Our father and mother.”
“And brothers and sisters.”
“And everybody at home.”
When you first see the people at home in the morning, do you ever forget to speak to them?
“Yes, Miss B.”
And what else sometimes happens?
“We look cross.”
“And perhaps we cry.”
Would you like to know how you can always be pleasant and polite to your own home friends in the morning?
“Yes’m.”
I will tell you. There is a little key which you can all have, and if you will not forget to use it, it will always make you pleasant and polite in the morning. It is this: “Good-morning, mamma!” “Good-morning, papa!” and a “Good-morning!” to all who are present. But this must be said in a certain way. Can you tell me how?
“Pleasantly.”
And how should you look when you say it?
“Good-natured.”
“We should smile.”
Yes, a pleasant “Good-morning!” and a smiling face will help to make the whole family happy. I wish you to remember about this key, and shall ask you to learn these words:
“Good-morning! that’s the golden key
That unlocks every day for me.”
Note.—Similar lessons may be given here, closing with the “keys,”
“When evening comes, ‘Good-night!’ I say,
And close the door of each glad day.”
“When friends give anything to me,
I’ll use the little ‘Thank you’ key.”
“‘Excuse me,’ ‘Beg your pardon,’ too,
When by mistake some harm I do.”
“Or, if unkindly wrong I’ve given,
With the ‘Forgive me’ key I’ll be forgiven.”
Chapter VII.
MANNERS AT HOME.
SECOND TWO YEARS.
Illustrative Lessons.
LESSON 21.
Purpose.—To specify some polite attentions due to home friends.
Method.—A story told, followed by a conversation.
The Lesson.
I once knew a little girl whom most everybody praised for being polite. Whenever she met people away from home, or whenever there was company at her home, she was very polite to them. She would ask visitors to take the easiest chairs, she would bring a hassock for their feet, she would watch their comfort in every way. She said “Yes, sir,” and “No, Miss B.,” and “Excuse me,” and “I beg your pardon,” and all those polite things. One day when I was the visitor and had been treated very politely by the little girl, I happened to hear her mother ask her to raise the shade. A little while before, she had asked me, in the sweetest manner, if she should lower this same shade for me; but in answer to her mother’s request she frowned and did not move from her chair. Pretty soon her little brother came to her to be amused, but she pushed him away and said: “Go away, Harry, I can’t be bothered with you.” When her father came in tired at night, and asked her to get his slippers for him, she did it in a very ungracious manner.
Those who have something to say of this little girl may raise hands.
“She was not good to her father and mother.”
“Nor to little Harry.”
“She was polite to company.”
“But not to her own people.”
Why should we be polite to our home friends?
“Because they are kind to us, and love us.”
How should we be polite to them?
“We should look out for their comfort.”
“And always speak politely to them.”
(Here lead children to specify courtesies of act and speech. Specially refer to a boy’s polite treatment of his mother.) 320.
Subjects for Additional Lessons.
Special politeness to very old people in the family.
Polite treatment of visitors.
Polite treatment of servants.
Reminders.
1. Be sure to say “Sir?” to your father when he calls your name, and “Yes, sir,” and “No, sir,” in answer to a question. Cheerfully wait upon your father. Never contradict him; mind him quickly.
2. Treat your mother as if she were the queen. Say “Yes, mamma,” or “Yes, mother,” when she calls your name, and “No, mamma,” etc., in answer to her questions. Boys and girls should show their mothers every polite attention due other ladies.
3. “Please” and “Thank you” should be said to servants. 108.