*33. Suspense[13] is gained by placing a Participle or Adjective that qualifies the Subject, before the Subject.*
"Deserted by his friends, he was forced to have recourse to those that had been his enemies." Here, if we write, "He, deserted by his friends, was forced &c.," he is unduly emphasized; and if we write, "He was forced to have recourse to his enemies, having been deserted by his friends," the effect is very flat.
Of course we might sometimes write "He was deserted and forced &c." But this cannot be done where the "desertion" is to be not stated but implied.
Often, when a participle qualifying the subject is introduced late in the sentence, it causes positive ambiguity: "With this small force the general determined to attack the foe, flushed with recent victory and rendered negligent by success."
An excessive use of the suspensive participle is French and objectionable: e.g. "Careless by nature, and too much engaged with business to think of the morrow, spoiled by a long-established liberty and a fabulous prosperity, having for many generations forgotten the scourge of war, we allow ourselves to drift on without taking heed of the signs of the times." The remedy is to convert the participle into a verb depending on a conjunction: "Because we are by nature careless, &c.;" or to convert the participle into a verb co-ordinate with the principal verb, e.g. "We are by nature careless, &c., and therefore we allow ourselves, &c."
*34. Suspensive Conjunctions, e.g. "either," "not only," "on the one hand," add clearness.*—Take the following sentence:—"You must take this extremely perilous course, in which success is uncertain, and failure disgraceful, as well as ruinous, or else the liberty of your country is endangered." Here, the meaning is liable to be misunderstood, till the reader has gone half through the sentence. Write "Either you must," &c., and the reader is, from the first, prepared for an alternative. Other suspensive conjunctions or phrases are partly, for our part; in the first place; it is true; doubtless; of course; though; on the one hand.
*35. Repeat the Subject when the omission would cause ambiguity or obscurity.*—The omission is particularly likely to cause obscurity after a Relative standing as Subject:—
"He professes to be helping the nation, which in reality is suffering from his flattery, and (he? or it?) will not permit anyone else to give it advice."
The Relative should be repeated when it is the Subject of several Verbs. "All the pleasing illusions which made power gentle and obedience liberal, which harmonized the different shades of life, and which, by a bland assimilation, incorporated into politics the sentiments that beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason."
*36. Repeat a Preposition after an intervening Conjunction, especially if a Verb and an Object also intervene.*
"He forgets the gratitude that he owes to those that helped all his companions when he was poor and uninfluential, and (to) John Smith in particular." Here, omit to, and the meaning may be "that helped all his companions, and John Smith in particular." The intervention of the verb and object, "helped" and "companions," causes this ambiguity.
*37. When there are several Verbs at some distance from a Conjunction on which they depend, repeat the Conjunction.*[14]
"When we look back upon the havoc that two hundred years have made in the ranks of our national authors—and, above all, (when) we refer their rapid disappearance to the quick succession of new competitors—we cannot help being dismayed at the prospect that lies before the writers of the present day."
Here omit "when," and we at once substitute a parenthetical statement for what is really a subordinate clause.
In reporting a speech or opinion, "that" must be continually repeated, to avoid the danger of confusing what the writer says with what others say.
"We might say that the Caesars did not persecute the Christians; (that) they only punished men who were charged, rightly or wrongly, with burning Rome, and committing the foulest abominations in secret assemblies; and (that) the refusal to throw frankincense on the altar of Jupiter was not the crime, but only evidence of the crime." But see (6 b).
*37 a. Repeat Verbs after the conjunctions "than," "as," &c.*
"I think he likes me better than you;" i.e. either "than you like me," or "he likes you."
"Cardinal Richelieu hated Buckingham as sincerely as did the
Spaniard Olivares." Omit "did," and you cause ambiguity.
*38. If the sentence is so long that it is difficult to keep the thread of meaning unbroken, repeat the subject, or some other emphatic word, or a summary of what has been said.*
"Gold and cotton, banks and railways, crowded ports, and populous cities—these are not the elements that constitute a great nation."
This repetition (though useful and, when used in moderation, not unpleasant) is more common with speakers than with writers, and with slovenly speakers than with good speakers.
"The country is in such a condition, that if we delay longer some fair measure of reform, sufficient at least to satisfy the more moderate, and much more, if we refuse all reform whatsoever—I say, if we adopt so unwise a policy, the country is in such a condition that we may precipitate a revolution."
Where the relative is either implied (in a participle) or repeated, the antecedent must often be repeated also. In the following sentence we have the Subject repeated not only in the final summary, but also as the antecedent:—
"But if there were, in any part of the world, a national church regarded as heretical by four-fifths of the nation committed to its care; a church established and maintained by the sword; a church producing twice as many riots as conversions; a church which, though possessing great wealth and power, and though long backed by persecuting laws, had, in the course of many generations, been found unable to propagate its doctrines, and barely able to maintain its ground; a church so odious that fraud and violence, when used against its clear rights of property, were generally regarded as fair play; a church whose ministers were preaching to desolate walls, and with difficulty obtaining their lawful subsistence by the help of bayonets,—such a church, on our principles, could not, we must own, be defended."
*39. It is a help to clearness, when the first part of the sentence prepares the way for the middle and the middle for the end, in a kind of ascent. This ascent is called "climax."*
In the following there are two climaxes, each of which has three terms:—
"To gossip(a) is a fault(b); to libel(a'), a crime(b'); to slander(a''), a sin(b'')."
In the following, there are several climaxes, and note how they contribute to the clearness of a long sentence:—
"Man, working, has contrived(a) the Atlantic Cable, but I declare that it astonishes(b) me far more to think that for his mere amusement(c), that to entertain a mere idle hour(c'), he has created(a') 'Othello' and 'Lear,' and I am more than astonished, I am awe-struck(b'), at that inexplicable elasticity of his nature which enables him, instead of turning away(d) from calamity and grief(e), or instead of merely defying(d') them, actually to make them the material of his amusement(d''), and to draw from the wildest agonies of the human spirit(e') a pleasure which is not only not cruel(f), but is in the highest degree pure and ennobling(f')."
The neglect of climax produces an abruptness that interferes with the even flow of thought. Thus, if Pope, in his ironical address to mankind, had written—
"Go, wondrous creature, mount where science guides;
Go, measure earth, weigh air, and state the tides;
Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule"—
the ascent would have been too rapid. The transition from earth to heaven, and from investigating to governing, is prepared by the intervening climax—
"Instruct the planets in what orbs to run;
Correct old Time, and regulate the Sun;
Go, soar with Plato to th' empyreal sphere,
To the first good, first perfect, and first fair."
*40. When the thought is expected to ascend and yet descends, feebleness and sometimes confusion is the result. The descent is called "bathos."*
"What pen can describe the tears, the lamentations, the agonies, the animated remonstrances of the unfortunate prisoners?"
"She was a woman of many accomplishments and virtues, graceful in her movements, winning in her address, a kind friend, a faithful and loving wife, a most affectionate mother, and she played beautifully on the pianoforte."
INTENTIONAL BATHOS has a humorous incongruity and abruptness that is sometimes forcible. For example, after the climax ending with the line—
"Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule,"
Pope adds—
"Then drop into thyself, and be a fool."
*40 a. A new construction should not be introduced without cause.*—A sudden and apparently unnecessary change of construction causes awkwardness and roughness at least, and sometimes breaks the flow of the sentence so seriously as to cause perplexity. Thus, write "virtuous and accomplished," or "of many virtues and accomplishments," not "of many virtues and accomplished;" "riding or walking" or "on foot or horseback," not "on foot or riding." In the same way, do not put adjectives and participles, active and passive forms of verbs, in too close juxtaposition. Avoid such sentences as the following:—
"He had good reason to believe that the delay was not an accident (accidental) but premeditated, and for supposing (to suppose, or else, for believing, above) that the fort, though strong both by art and naturally (nature), would be forced by the treachery of the governor and the indolent (indolence of the) general to capitulate within a week."
"They accused him of being bribed (receiving bribes from) by the king and unwilling (neglecting) to take the city."
*41. Antithesis adds force, and often clearness.*—The meaning of liberal in the following sentence is ascertained by the antithesis:—
"All the pleasing illusions which made power(a) gentle(b) and obedience(a') liberal(b') … are now to be destroyed."
There is a kind of proportion. As gentleness is to power, so liberality (in the sense here used) is to obedience. Now gentleness is the check on the excess of power; therefore liberal here applies to that which checks the excess of obedience, i.e. checks servility. Hence liberal here means "free."
The contrast also adds force. "They aimed at the rule(a), not at the destruction(a'), of their country. They were men of great civil(b) and great military(b') talents, and, if the terror(c), the ornament(c') of their age."
Excessive antithesis is unnatural and wearisome:—
"Who can persuade where treason(a) is above reason(a'), and might(b) ruleth right(b'), and it is had for lawful(c) whatsoever is lustful(c'), and commotioners(d) are better than commissioners(d'), and common woe(e) is named common wealth(e')?"
*42. Epigram.*—It has been seen that the neglect of climax results in lameness. Sometimes the suddenness of the descent produces amusement: and when the descent is intentional and very sudden, the effect is striking as well as amusing. Thus:—
(1) "You are not only not vicious, you are virtuous," is a climax.
(2) "You are not vicious, you are vice," is not climax, nor is it bathos: it is epigram.[15]
Epigram may be defined as a "short sentence expressing truth under an amusing appearance of incongruity." It is often antithetical.
"The Russian grandees came to { and diamonds," climax.
court dropping pearls { and vermin," epigram.
"These two nations were divided { and the bitter remembrance
by mutual fear { of recent losses," climax.
{ and mountains," epigram.
There is a sort of implied antithesis in:—
"He is full of information—(but flat also) like yesterday's Times."
"Verbosity is cured (not by a small, but) by a large vocabulary."
The name of epigram may sometimes be given to a mere antithesis; e.g. "An educated man should know something of everything, and everything of something."
*43. Let each sentence have one, and only one, principal subject of thought.*
"This great and good man died on the 17th of September, 1683, leaving behind him the memory of many noble actions, and a numerous family, of whom three were sons; one of them, George, the eldest, heir to his father's virtues, as well as to his principal estates in Cumberland, where most of his father's property was situate, and shortly afterwards elected member for the county, which had for several generations returned this family to serve in Parliament." Here we have (1) the "great and good man," (2) "George," (3) "the county," disputing which is to be considered the principal subject. Two, if not three sentences should have been made, instead of one. Carefully avoid a long sentence like this, treating of many different subjects on one level. It is called heterogeneous.
*44. The connection between different sentences must be kept up by Adverbs used as Conjunctions, or by means of some other connecting words at the beginning of each sentence.*—Leave out the conjunctions and other connecting words, and it will be seen that the following sentences lose much of their meaning:—
"Pitt was in the army for a few months in time of peace. His biographer (accordingly) insists on our confessing, that, if the young cornet had remained in the service, he would have been one of the ablest commanders that ever lived. (But) this is not all. Pitt (, it seems,) was not merely a great poet in esse and a great general in posse, but a finished example of moral excellence…. (The truth is, that) there scarcely ever lived a person who had so little claim to this sort of praise as Pitt. He was (undoubtedly) a great man. (But) his was not a complete and well-proportioned greatness. The public life of Hampden or of Somers resembles a regular drama which can be criticised as a whole, and every scene of which is to be viewed in connection with the main action. The public life of Pitt (, on the other hand,) is," &c.
The following are some of the most common connecting adverbs, or connecting phrases: (1) expressing consequence, similarity, repetition, or resumption of a subject—accordingly, therefore, then, naturally, so that, thus, in this way, again, once more, to resume, to continue, to sum up, in fact, upon this; (2) expressing opposition—nevertheless, in spite of this, yet, still, however, but, on the contrary, on the other hand; (3) expressing suspension—undoubtedly … but; indeed … yet; on the one hand … on the other; partly … partly; some … others.
Avoid a style like that of Bishop Burnet, which strings together a number of sentences with "and" or "so," or with no conjunction at all:
"Blake with the fleet happened to be at Malaga, before he made war upon Spain; and some of his seamen went ashore, and met the Host carried about; and not only paid no respect to it, but laughed at those who did." Write "When Blake &c."
*45. The connection between two long sentences sometimes requires a short intervening sentence, showing the transition of thought.*
"Without force or opposition, it (chivalry) subdued the fierceness of pride and power; it obliged sovereigns to submit to the soft collar[16] of social esteem, compelled stern authority to submit to elegance, and gave a dominating vanquisher of laws to be subdued by manners. But now (all is to be changed:) all the pleasing illusions which made power gentle and obedience liberal, which harmonized the different shades of life, and which, by a bland assimilation, incorporated into politics the sentiments that beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason." If the words italicized were omitted, the transition would be too abrupt: the conjunction but alone would be insufficient.
FOOTNOTES:
[5] For, at the beginning of a sentence, sometimes causes temporary doubt, while the reader is finding out whether it is used as a conjunction or preposition.
[6] It should refer (1) either to the Noun immediately preceding, or (2) to some Noun superior to all intervening Nouns in emphasis. See (25).
[7] So useful that, on mature consideration, I am disposed to adopt "that" here and in several of the following exceptional cases.
[8] Of course "and which" may be used where "which" precedes.
[9] "That which," where that is an object, e.g. "then (set forth) that which is worse," St. John ii. 10, is rare in modern English.
[10] Sometimes the emphatic Adverb comes at the beginning, and causes the transposition of an Auxiliary Verb, "Gladly do I consent."
[11] Of course punctuation will remove the ambiguity; but it is better to express oneself clearly, as far as possible, independently of punctuation.
[12] Professor Bain.
[13] See (30).
[14] The repetition of Auxiliary Verbs and Pronominal Adjectives is also conducive to clearness.
[15] Professor Bain says: "In the epigram the mind is roused by a conflict or contradiction between the form of the language and the meaning really conveyed."
[16] This metaphor is not recommended for imitation.
* * * * *
BREVITY.
*46. Metaphor is briefer than literal statement.* See (13).
"The cares and responsibilities of a sovereign often disturb his sleep," is not so brief as "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," where the effect of care on the mind is assimilated to the effect of a heavy crown pressing on the head.
*47. General terms are briefer, though less forcible, than particular terms.* Thus: "He devours literature, no matter of what kind," is shorter than, "Novels or sermons, poems or histories, no matter what, he devours them all."
*47 a. A phrase may be expressed by a word.*
"These impressions can never be forgotten, i.e. are indelible."
"The style of this book is of such a nature that it cannot be understood, i.e. unintelligible."
The words "of such a nature that" are often unnecessarily inserted.
See the extract from Sir Archibald Alison.
*48. Participles can often be used as brief (though sometimes ambiguous) equivalents of phrases containing Conjunctions and Verbs.*
"Hearing (when he heard) this, he advanced." See (7) for more instances. So "phrases containing conjunctions" means "phrases that contain conjunctions." "This done, (for, when this was done) he retired."
Sometimes the participle "being" is omitted. "France at our doors, he sees no danger nigh," for "France being" or "though France is."
*49. Participles and participial adjectives may be used like Adjectives, as equivalents for phrases containing the Relative.*
"The never-ceasing wind," "the clamouring ocean," "the drenching rain," are instances. The licence of inventing participial adjectives by adding -ing to a noun, is almost restricted to poetry. You could not write "the crannying wind" in prose.
*50. A statement may sometimes be briefly implied instead of being expressed at length.* Thus, instead of "The spirit of Christianity was humanizing, and therefore &c.," or "Christianity, since it was (or being) of a humanizing spirit, discouraged &c.," we can write more briefly and effectively, "Gladiatorial shows were first discouraged, and finally put down, by the humanizing spirit of Christianity." So instead of "The nature of youth is thoughtless and sanguine, and therefore &c.," we can write, "The danger of the voyage was depreciated and the beauty of the island exaggerated by the thoughtless nature of youth."
Sometimes a mere name or epithet implies a statement. "It was in vain that he offered the Swiss terms: war was deliberately preferred by the hardy mountaineers," i.e. "by the Swiss, because they were mountaineers and hardy." "The deed was applauded by all honest men, but the Government affected to treat it as murder, and set a price upon the head of (him whom they called) the assassin." "The conqueror of Austerlitz might be expected to hold different language from the prisoner of St. Helena," i.e. "Napoleon when elated by the victory of Austerlitz," and "Napoleon when depressed by his imprisonment at St. Helena."
CAUTION.—Different names must not be used for the same person unless each of them derives an appropriateness from its context. Thus, if we are writing about Charles II., it would be in very bad taste to avoid repeating "he" by using such periphrases as the following: "The third of the Stewarts hated business," "the Merry Monarch died in the fifty-fourth year of his age," &c.
*51. Conjunctions may be omitted.* The omission gives a certain forcible abruptness, e.g. "You say this: I (on the other hand) deny it."
When sentences are short, as in Macaulay's writings, conjunctions may be advantageously omitted.
Where a contrast is intended, the conjunction but usually prepares the way for the second of the two contrasted terms: "He is good but dull." Where and is used instead of but, the incongruity savours of epigram: "He always talks truthfully and prosily." "He is always amusing and false."
*51 a. The Imperative Mood may be used for "if."*
"Strip (for, if you strip) Virtue of the awful authority she derives from the general reverence of mankind, and you rob her of half her majesty."
*52. Apposition may be used so as to convert two sentences into one.*
"We called at the house of a person to whom we had letters of introduction, a musician, and, what is more, a good friend to all young students of music." This is as clear as, and briefer than, "He was a musician, &c."
*53. Condensation may be effected by not repeating (1) the common subject of several verbs, (2) the common object of several verbs or prepositions.*
(1) "He resided here for many years, and, after he had won the esteem of all the citizens, (he) died," &c. So, (2) "He came to, and was induced to reside in, this city," is shorter than "He came to this city, and was induced to reside in it."
Such condensation often causes obscurity, and, even where there is no obscurity, there is a certain harshness in pausing on light, unemphatic words, such as to, in, &c., as in the first example.
*54. Tautology.*—The fault of repeating the same word several times unnecessarily is called tautology, e.g.:
"This is a painful circumstance; it is a circumstance that I much regret, and he also will much regret the circumstance." But the fault is not to be avoided by using different words to mean the same thing, as, "This is a painful event; it is a circumstance that I much regret, and he also will greatly lament the occurrence." The true remedy is to arrange the words in such a manner that there may be no unnecessary repetition, thus: "This is a painful circumstance, a circumstance that causes me, and will cause him, deep regret."
The repetition of the same meaning in slightly different words is a worse fault than the repetition of the same word. See, for examples, the extract from Sir Archibald Alison, at the end of the book. Thus "A burning thirst for conquests is a characteristic of this nation. It is an ardent passion that &c." Other instances are—"The universal opinion of all men;" "His judgment is so infallible that it is never deceived," &c.
*55. Parenthesis may be used with advantage to brevity.*
"We are all (and who would not be?) offended at the treatment we have received," is shorter and more forcible than the sentence would have been if the parenthesis had been appended in a separate sentence: "Who, indeed, would not be offended?"
Extreme care must, however, be taken that a parenthesis may not obscure the meaning of a long sentence.
*56. Caution: let clearness be the first consideration.* It is best, at all events for beginners, not to aim so much at being brief, or forcible, as at being perfectly clear. Horace says, "While I take pains to be brief, I fall into obscurity," and it may easily be seen that several of the rules for brevity interfere with the rules for clearness.
Forcible style springs from (1) vividness and (2) exactness of thought, and from a corresponding (1) vividness and (2) exactness in the use of words.
(1) When you are describing anything, endeavour to see it and describe it as you see it. If you are writing about a man who was killed, see the man before you, and ask, was he executed, cut down, run through the body, butchered, shot, or hanged? If you are writing about the capture of a city, was the city stormed, surprised, surrendered, starved out, or demolished before surrender? Was an army repelled, defeated, routed, crushed, or annihilated?
(2) Exactness in the use of words requires an exact knowledge of their meanings and differences. This is a study by itself, and cannot be discussed here.[17]
FOOTNOTES:
[17] See English Lessons for English People, pp. 1-53.
EXERCISES
For an explanation of the manner in which these Exercises are intended to be used, see the Preface.
A number in brackets by itself, or followed by a letter, e.g. (43), (40 a), refers to the Rules.
Letters by themselves in brackets, e.g. (b), refer to the explanations or hints appended to each sentence.
N.B..—(10 a) refers to the first section of Rule (10); (10 a') to the Rule following Rule (10).
1. "Pleasure and excitement had more attractions for him than (a) (36) (37 a) his friend, and the two companions became estranged (15 a) gradually."
(a) Write (1) "than for his friend," or (2) "than had his friend," "had more attractions than his friend."
2. "(a) He soon grew tired of solitude even in that beautiful scenery, (36) the pleasures of the retirement (8) which he had once pined for, and (36) leisure which he could use to no good purpose, (a) (30) being (15) restless by nature."
(a) This sentence naturally stops at "purpose." Also "being restless" seems (wrongly) to give the reason why "leisure" could not be employed. Begin "Restless by nature…."
3. "The opponents of the Government are naturally, and not (a) (40 a) without justification, elated at the failure of the bold attempt to return two supporters of the Government at the recent election, (b) (10 a') which is certainly to be regretted."
(a) "unjustifiably." (b) Write, for "which," either (1) "an attempt that &c.," or (2) "a failure that &c."
4. "Carelessness in the Admiralty departments has co-operated with Nature to weaken the moral power of a Government that particularly needs to be thought efficient in (a) (5) this respect, (b) (29) to counterbalance a general distrust of its excessive desire (c) (47 a) to please everybody in Foreign Affairs."
(a) Write "the Navy." (b) Instead of "to" write "in order to," so as to distinguish the different infinitives, (c) "obsequiousness."
5. "(a) He was sometimes supported by Austria, who, oddly enough, appears under Count Beust to have been more friendly to Italy than (37 a) France, (30) in this line of action."
(a) Begin with "In this line of action." Why? (b) Write "than was France" or "than France was."
6. "There was something so startling in (a) (5) this assertion, (a) (4) that the discoveries of previous investigators were to be (b) (47 a) treated as though they had never been made, and (4) that one who had not yet (47 a) attained the age of manhood had superseded the grey-headed philosophers (8) who had for centuries patiently sought after the truth, (4) that (a) (5) it naturally provoked derision."
(a) "This," "that," and "it," cause a little perplexity. Write "The startling assertion that the discoveries…." (b) "ignored." (c) "a mere youth," "a mere stripling."
7. "One of the recommendations (on which very (a) (26) (47, a) much depended) of the Commission was that a council in each province should establish smaller councils, each to have the oversight of a small district, and (b) (37) report to a central council on the state of Education in (c) (5) it."
(a) Write "cardinal recommendations." Derive "cardinal." (b) Write, either (1) "and should report," or (2) "and to report." (c) Write "in its province," or "district."
8. "At this (a) (1) period an (b) (11) event (c) (1) transpired that destroyed the last hopes of peace. The king fell from his horse and died two hours after the fall (d) (30), which was occasioned by his horse's stumbling on a mole-hill, while he was on his return from reviewing his soldiers."
(a) What is a "period"? (b) Express the particular kind of event ("accident"). (c) What is the meaning of "transpired"? (d) Transpose thus: "While the king was on his return … his horse …; the king fell and &c." The cause should precede the effect.
9. "He determined (c) on selling all his estates, and, as soon as this was done (40 a), to (c) quit the country, (a) (33) believing that his honour demanded this sacrifice and (40) (40 a) in (b) the hope of satisfying his creditors."
(a) Begin with "Believing that &c." (b) "hoping thereby to satisfy &c." (c) "to sell" or "on quitting.".
10. "He read patiently on, Leading Articles, Foreign Correspondence, Money Article and all; (a) (43) during which his father fell asleep, and he (b) went in search of his sister."
Point out the absurdity of "during which" applied to the last part of the sentence. (a) "Meanwhile." (b) Insert "then."
11. "The general was quite (a) (1) conscious (40 a) how treacherous were the intentions of those who were (b) (49) entertaining him, and (40 a) of the dangers from which he had escaped (15) lately."
(a) Distinguish between "conscious" and "aware." (b) "entertainers."
12. "If certain (a) (11) books had been published a hundred years ago, there can be no doubt that certain recent (b) (11) historians would have made great use of them. But it would (c) (15 b) not, on that account, be judicious in a writer of our own times to publish an edition of the works of one of these (b) (11) historians, in which large extracts from these books should be incorporated with the original text."
(a) "Mrs. Hutchinson's Memoirs." (b) "Mr. Hume." (c) Add at the end of the sentence, "Surely not."
13. "He made no attempt to get up a petition, (32) though he did not like the new representative quite so well as (a) (37 a) his colleagues."
(a) "as did his colleagues" or "as he liked his colleagues."
14. "Though he was (a) (15) obstinate and (15) unprincipled, yet he could not face an angered father (15 a) in spite of his effrontery."
(a) Begin with "Obstinate."
15. "He was known to his country neighbours (a) (15) during more than forty years as a gentleman of cultivated mind, (40 a) whose principles were high, (40 a) with polished address, happy in his family, and (b) (40 a) actively discharging local duties; and (40 a) among political men, as an honest, industrious, and sensible member of Parliament, (40 a) without (c) eagerness to display his talents, (40 a) who (10 g) was stanch to his party, and attentive to the interests of those whose (d) (47 a) representative he was."
(a) "During more &c.," is emphatic, and affects the latter as well as the former half of the sentence: hence it should stand first. (b) "in the discharge of." (c) "not eager." (d) Condense into one word.
16. "The poor think themselves no more disgraced by taking bribes at elections than (a) (37 a) the rich by offering them."
(a) Write (1) "Than the rich think themselves disgraced," or (2) "Than they think the rich disgraced."
17. "We are told that the Sultan Mahmoud, by his perpetual wars, (a) (41) and his tyranny, (a) (41) had filled his dominions with (b) (1) misfortune and (c) (11) calamity, and greatly (d) (11) diminished the population of the Persian Empire. This great Sultan had (e) (50) a Vizier. We are not (f) (55) (15) informed whether he was a humorist or an enthusiast, (g) but he pretended (h) that he had learned from (i) (11) some one how to understand the language of birds, so that he (j) (5) knew what was said by any bird that opened its mouth. (k) (44) One evening he was with the Sultan, returning from hunting. They saw a couple of owls which (10 g) were sitting upon a tree (l) (8) which grew near an old wall out of a heap of rubbish. The Sultan said (6) he should like to know what the two owls were saying to one another, and asked the (m) Vizier to listen to their discourse and give him an account of it. The Vizier, (n) (31) pretending to be very attentive to the owls, approached the tree. He (o) returned to the Sultan and said that (6) he had heard part of their conversation, but did not wish to tell him what it was. (p) (5) He, not (q) (31) being satisfied with this answer, forced him to repeat everything the owls had said (20) exactly. (r) (44) (5) (6) He told (5) him that the owls were arranging a treaty of marriage between their children, and that one of them, after agreeing to settle five hundred villages upon the female owl, had prayed (6) that God would grant a long life to Sultan Mahmoud, because as long as he reigned over them they would never want ruined villages. The story says (s) that (t) (5) he was touched with the fable, (30) and (s) that he (a) (39) from that time forward consulted (15) the good of his people, and that he rebuilt the towns and villages (v) which had been destroyed."
(a) "abroad … at home." (b) "ruin." (c) "desolation." (d) "half unpeopled." (e) "The Vizier of &c." (f) "We are not informed" is emphatic, and therefore should be inverted, "whether he was, &c., we are not informed." (g) "but he" will be omitted when "the Vizier" is made the subject of "pretended." (h) "Pretended" once meant "claimed," "professed." Write "professed." (i) "a certain dervish." (j) Introduce a new subject that you may substitute "Vizier" for "he," thus: "so that not a bird could open its mouth, but the Vizier knew &c." (k) "As he was, one evening, &c." (l) Note that the tree is represented as growing out of ruins. This is in accordance with the story of the mischief Mahmoud had done. (m) Omit this. (n) "Suspense" is out of place in a simple narrative like this; the sentence therefore ends with "owls." (o) "Upon his return." (p) "The Sultan" (q) "would not be satisfied." (r) "You must know then, &c." (s) Omit. (t) "so touched … that." (u) end with "people." (v) Addison here uses "which" probably because of the preceding "that." We have to choose between sound and clearness. "Which" implies that all the villages in the country had been destroyed, whereas the country had been only (see above) "half unpeopled."
18. "Though this great king never permitted any pastime to interfere with the duties of state, which he considered to be superior to (54) all other claims and of paramount importance, and (a) (37) kept himself so far under control that he allowed no one pursuit or amusement to run to any excess, yet he took (54) great pleasure in the chase, of which he was (b) (2) excessively (54) fond, and for the purposes of which he created several large parks of considerable (54) magnitude."
(a) Either repeat "though," or else strikeout the first "though" and begin a new sentence after "excess." (b) Point out the contradiction between "excessively" and what precedes.
19. "To inundate (a) (11) their land, to man their ships, to leave their country, with all its miracles of art and industry, its cities, its villas, and its (b) (11) pastures buried under the waves (c) (11); to bear to a distant climate their (d) (11) faith and their old (e) (11) liberties; to establish, with auspices that(10 a) might perhaps be happier, the new (f) (11) constitution of their commonwealth, in a (g) (11) foreign and strange (h) (11) land, in the Spice Islands of the Eastern Seas, (38) were the plans which they had the spirit to form."
(a) Introduce "dykes." (b) Introduce something peculiar to the Dutch, e.g. "canals," "tulip gardens." (c) "of the German Ocean." (d) The Dutch were Calvinists. (e) The country was in old times "Batavia," so that "Batavian" would be a fit epithet to denote what the Dutch had inherited from their forefathers. (f) "Stadthaus," the German for "town-hall." (g) "other stars." (h) "strange vegetation."
20. "During twenty years of unexampled prosperity, during (a) which the wealth of the nation had shot (14 a) up and extended its branches on every side, and the funds had (14 a) soared to a higher point than had been ever attained before, (b) (15) speculation had become general."
(a) Omit. (b) Begin a new sentence: "This, or Prosperity, had increased the taste for speculation."
21. "At that time (a) (16) a mere narrow-minded pedant (for he deserves no better name) had been set up by the literary world as a great author, and as the supreme (b) critic, alone qualified to deliver decisions which could never be (b) reversed upon (15 a) the literary productions of the day."
(a) End with " … one who was—for he deserves no better name—a mere narrow-minded pedant." (b) "Which could never be reversed" can be expressed in one word; or else "the supreme … reversed" may be condensed into a personification: "a very Minos of contemporary criticism."
22. "With the intention of fulfilling his promise, and (40 a) intending also to clear himself from the suspicion that attached to him, he determined to ascertain how (40 a) far this testimony was corroborated, and (a) (40 a) the motives of the prosecutor, (b) (43) who had begun the suit last Christmas."
(a) "what were." (b) Begin a new sentence, "The latter &c.," or "The suit had been begun &c."
23. "The Jewish nation, relying on the teaching of their prophets, looked forward to a time when its descendants should be as numerous as the heavenly (11) bodies, and when the products (a) (11) of the earth should be so increased as to create an abundant (54) plenty, when each man should rest beneath the shade of his own (a) (11) trees, and when the instruments (11) of war should be converted to the (11) uses of peace."
(a) Mention some "products," "trees" of Palestine.
24. "He replied (32), when he was asked the reason for his sudden unpopularity, that he owed it to his refusal to annul the commercial treaty, (a) (8) which(10 a') gave great displeasure to the poorer classes."
(a) Point out the ambiguity, and remove it by (8) or (10 a').
25. "I saw my old schoolfellow again by mere accident when I was in London at the time of the first Exhibition, (19) walking down Regent Street and looking in at the shops."
Point out and remove the ambiguity.
26. "He remained in the House while his speech was taken into consideration; which (52) was a common practice with him, because the debates amused his sated mind, and indeed he used to say (a) (6 b) that they were sometimes as good as a comedy. His Majesty had certainly never seen a more (17) sudden turn in any comedy of intrigue, either at his own play-house or the Duke's, than that which this memorable debate produced."
(a) "and were sometimes, he used to say, as good &c."
27. "The Commons would not approve the war (20) expressly; neither did they as yet condemn it (20) expressly; and (a) (18) the king might even have obtained a supply for continuing hostilities (19) from them, on condition of (b) redressing grievances connected with the (c) administration of affairs at home, among which the Declaration of Indulgence was a very important (d) (15_a_) one."
(a) Write "they were even ready to grant the king &c." (b) Use the verb with a subject, (c) Condense all this into one adjective, meaning "that which takes place at home." (d) End with a noun, "importance," or "foremost place."
28. "Next to thinking clearly, (a) (5) it is useful to speak clearly, and whatever your position in life may hereafter be it cannot be such (54) as not to be improved by this, (b) so that it is worth while making almost any effort to acquire (c) it, if it is not a natural gift: (d) it being an undoubted (d) fact that the effort to acquire it must be successful, to some extent at least, if (d) it be moderately persevered in."
(a) "Next in utility … comes speaking clearly—a power that must be of assistance to you &c." (b)" If, therefore, you cannot speak clearly by nature, you &c." (c) "this power." (d) Omit "fact;" "for undoubtedly, with moderate perseverance &c."
29. "It (a) (38) appears to me (15) a greater victory than Agincourt, a grander triumph of wisdom and faith and courage than even the English constitution or (b) liturgy, to have beaten back, or even fought against and stemmed in ever so small a degree, those basenesses that (c) (10_a_) beset human nature, which are now held so invincible that the influences of them are assumed as the fundamental axioms of economic science."
(a) Begin with "To have beaten &c.," and end with "liturgy." (b) Repeat for clearness and emphasis, "the English." (c) "The besetting basenesses of &c."
30. "The (a) (2) unprecedented impudence of our youthful representative reminds us forcibly of the unblushing and (54) (40) remarkable effrontery (c) (which (26) he almost succeeds in equalling) of the Member for St. Alban's, whom our (b) (1) neophyte (b) (1) alluded to, in the last speech with which he favoured those whom (47_a_) he represents, (19) as his pattern and example."
(a) Show that "unprecedented" is inconsistent with what follows. (b) What is the meaning of "neophyte," "alluded to"? (c) Begin a new sentence, "Our young adventurer &c.," and end with "and he almost succeeds in equalling his master."
31. "The (a) (1) veracity of this story is questionable, and there is the more reason for doubting the (a) (1) truth of the narrator, because in his remarks on the (1) observation of the Sabbath he distinctly (a) (1) alludes to a custom that can be shown never to have existed."
(a) Distinguish between "veracity" and "truth," "observation" and "observance." Show the inconsistency between "allude" and "distinctly."
32. "It (a) (5) is a most just distribution, (10 a) which the late Mr. Tucker has dwelt upon so (b) largely in his works, between pleasures in which we are passive, and pleasures in which we are active. And I believe every attentive observer of human life will assent to (c) this position, that however (d) grateful the sensations may occasionally be in which we are passive, it is not these, but the latter class of our pleasures, (8) which constitutes satisfaction, (e) (38) which supply that regular stream of moderate and miscellaneous enjoyments in (10 c) which happiness, as distinguished from voluptuousness, consists."
(a) "There is great justice in &c." (b) Omit "so." (c) "admit." (d) Not often now used in this sense. (e) Repeat the antecedent, "I mean those (pleasures) &c."
33. "The prince seemed to have before him a limitless (54) prospect of unbounded prosperity, carefully (33) trained for the (a) tasks of the throne, and stimulated by the (a) pattern of his father, (b) who (43) breathed his (3) last suddenly at the age of sixty-two, just after the conclusion of the war."
(a) Find more appropriate words. (b) Begin a new sentence.
34. "On his way, he visited a son of an old friend (a) (25) who had asked him to call upon him on his journey northward. He (b) (5) was overjoyed to see him, and (c) he sent for one of his most intelligent workmen and told (d) him to consider himself at (e) his service, (30) as he himself could not take (f) him as he (g) wished about the city."
(a) If you mean that the "son" had "asked him," write "An old friend's son who;" if you mean that the "friend" had "asked him," write "He had been asked by an old friend to call, on his journey northward, upon his son. Accordingly he visited him on his way." (b) Use, instead of he, some name meaning "one who entertains others." (c) Use participle, (d) "The man." (e) "the stranger's." (f) "his guest." (g) Write "could have wished" to make it clear that "he" means "the host."
35. "Tillotson died in this year. He was exceedingly beloved both by King William and by Queen Mary (43), who nominated Dr. Tennison, Bishop of Lincoln, to succeed him."
36. "(a) The entertainment was arranged with a magnificence that was (b) perfectly stupendous and (c) most unprecedented, and which quite kept up his Lordship's unrivalled reputation for unparalleled hospitality, and, thanks to the unequalled energy of Mr. Smith, who is rapidly becoming one of the most effective toast-masters in the kingdom, the toasts were given with a spirit quite unexampled on occasions of this nature; and indeed we were forcibly reminded in this respect of the inimitable entertainment of three years ago (2)."
(a) Omit most of the epithets, or soften them down. Point out the contradictions in the sentence as it stands. (b) Write "a remarkable magnificence that quite &c.," thus dispensing with the following "and." (c) Show that "most" is superfluous.
37. "If we compare Shakespeare with the other dramatic authors of the Elizabethan era, his wonderful superiority to them in the (15) knowledge of human nature is what (15 a) principally strikes us."
38. "The prince found himself at once in sore perplexity how to provide himself with the commonest comforts or even necessaries of life, when he landed on this desolate coast, being (33) accustomed to luxury."
39. "This make-shift policy recommended itself to the succeeding ministers (a) (50), both because they were timid and because they were prejudiced, and they were delighted to excuse (b) (13) themselves by quoting the example of one who (c) (34) had controlled the Liberals and humoured the Conservatives, (37) commended himself to the country at large by his unfailing good-humour, and (d) (44) (37) done nothing worthy of the name of statesman."
(a) "to the timidity and prejudices of &c." (b) "shelter themselves behind." (c) "while he had at once." (d) "had yet done."
40. "William Shakespeare was the sun among the lesser lights of English poetry, and a native of Stratford-on-Avon (14 a)."
41. "(15 b) I think, gentlemen, you must confess that any one of you would have done the same (32), if you had been tempted as I was then, placed starving and ragged among wasteful luxury and comfort, deliberately instigated to acts of dishonesty by those whom I had been taught from infancy to love, (a) praised when I stole, mocked or punished when I failed to (15 a) do (b) so."
(a) Insert another infinitive beside "love." "Love" produces "obedience." (b) Repeat the verb instead of "do so."
42. "So far from being the first (54) aggressor, he not (22) only refused to prosecute his old friend when a favourable opportunity presented itself for revenging himself thus upon him, but also his friend's adviser, John Smith. Smith (a) at all (23) events suspected, if he did not know of the coming danger, and had given no information of it."
(a) If "at all events" qualifies "Smith," the sentence must be altered. "Yet, however innocent his friend may have been, at all events Smith suspected…." If the words qualify "suspected," place them after "suspected."
43. "It is quite true that he paid 5_s._ per day to English navvies, and even 6s., (19) in preference to 2_s._ 6_d._ to French navvies."
44. "Having climbed to the apex of the Righi to enjoy the spectacle of the sun-rise, I found myself so incommoded by a number of illiterate individuals who had emerged from the hotel for a (a) (1) similar purpose, that I determined to quit them at the earliest practicable period; and therefore, without stopping to partake of breakfast, I wended my way back with all possible celerity." (3)
(a) "the same."
45. "You admit that miracles are not natural. Now whatever is unnatural is wrong, and since, by your own admission, miracles are unnatural, it follows that miracles are wrong." (1)
46. "Who is the man that has dared to call into civilized alliance the (a) (41) inhabitant of the woods, to delegate to the (a) Indian the defence of our disputed rights?
(a) Insert some antithetical or other epithets.
47. "A (a) very (11) small proportion indeed of those who have attempted to solve this problem (b) (19) have succeeded in obtaining even a plausible solution."
(a) State what proportion succeeded, or, if you like, what failed: "not one in a hundred." (b) Begin, "Of all those that &c."
48. "To be suddenly (a) (47 a) brought into contact with a system (8) which forces one to submit to wholesale imposture, and to being (40 a) barbarously ill-treated, naturally repels (a) (15 a) one."
(a) Write, either (1) "Collision … causes a natural repulsion," or (2) "When brought into contact … one is naturally repelled," or (if "ill-treatment" is emphatic), (3) "One is naturally repelled by collision with &c."
49. "We annex a letter recently addressed by Mr. ——'s direction to the Editor of the ——, in contradiction of statements, equally untrue, which appeared in that periodical, and (a) (9) which the editor has undertaken to insert in the next number…. I am sure that all must regret that statements so (b) (51) utterly erroneous should have (c) (23) first appeared in a publication of such high character."
(a) What the writer intended to express was that the editor had undertaken to insert, not the "statements," but the "contradiction." (b) Omit either "so" or "utterly." (c) "appeared first," or, "for the first time."
50. "This is a book which (10 a) is short and amusing, which (10 a) can be easily (a) understood, which (10 a) is admirably adapted for the purpose for which it (b) was (54) written; and (10 e) which ought to be more popular than the last work which (10 a) was published by the same author."
(a) Express "which can be understood" in one adjective. (b) "Its purpose."
51. "When thousands are left (19) without (40) pity and without (40) attention (19) on a field of battle, amid (40) the insults of an enraged foe and (40) the trampling of horses, while the blood from their wounds, freezing as it flows, binds them to the earth, and (40) they are exposed to the piercing air, it (15 a) must be indeed a painful scene."
The whole sentence must be remedied by (40).
52. "(a) The youth was naturally thoughtful, and disposed (19) besides by his early training—(31) which had been conducted with great care, the object of his parents being to pave (14) his way as far as possible over the stormy (14) sea of temptation and to lead him into the harbour of virtue—to a sincere (b) (1) remorse (19) for the (b) (1) crimes that he had committed in the sight of heaven, and also for his recent (b) (1) sin in breaking the laws of his country."
(a) First state the reasons for his being "disposed." "The youth was naturally thoughtful; moreover, his early training had been conducted with great care by his parents, whose &c. …. He was therefore disposed &c." (b) What is the difference between "remorse" and "repentance," between "sin" and "crime"?
53. "(a) One day (54) early in the morning, the general was approached by a messenger, (30) in the midst of the entanglements and perplexities which had unexpectedly surprised him, when the perilous hour of (54) danger was at hand, and (37), in spite of their promises, even the tribes that were well disposed (54) and friendly, were threatening to desert him, and (54) leave him to face the enemy (b) (23) alone."
Condense the sentence by omitting some of the italicized words, e.g. (a) "Early one morning." (b) Though there is no real ambiguity (unless a wrong emphasis is placed on "enemy"), yet, in strictness, "alone" ought to qualify "enemy." Write therefore, "alone in the face of the enemy."
54. "A man (a) (10 d) who neglected the ordinary duties *of* life, and, immersed in study, devoted himself to grand plans for the benefit of mankind, (b) (44) and refused to provide for the wants of those dependent on him, and suffered his aged relatives to become paupers because he would not help them, (c) would, in my opinion, (34) be a bad man, and not altogether (d) (40 a) without hypocrisy."
(a) "If a man." (b) "if he refused," or "while he refused." (c) "such a man" or "he." (d) "to some extent a hypocrite."
55. "I cannot believe in the guilt of (a) one (b) (10 e) who, whatever may have been said to the contrary, can be shown, and has been shown by competent testimony proceeding from those who are said to have carefully examined the facts, in spite (23) of many obstacles, to have resisted all attempts to (29) induce him to leave his situation, (c) (29) to consult his own interests and to (29) establish a business of his own."
(a) "his guilt;" (b) (1) "for, whatever &c…. it can be shown by &c…. that, in spite of &c., he resisted." Or (2) insert "in spite … obstacles" between "have" and "carefully." (c) (1) "for the purpose of consulting … and establishing." Or (2) write "and to consult his own interests by establishing &c."
56. "We must seek for the origin of our freedom, (a) (37) prosperity, and (a) (37) glory, in that and only (b) that[18] portion of our annals, (30) though it (c) is sterile and obscure. The great English people was (d) then formed; the notional (e) disposition began (d) then to exhibit those peculiarities which it has ever since (e) possessed; and our fathers (d) then became emphatically islanders, (f) in their politics, (a) feelings, and (a) manners, and (30 a) not merely in their geographical position."
(a) Repeat the Pronominal Adjective, (b) Express the emphatic "only that" by beginning the sentence thus: "It is in that portion of our annals &c." (c) Omit. (d) "It was then that &c." (e) Use words implying something more marked than "disposition," and more forcible than "possessed;" in the latter case, "retained." (f) Repeat "islanders."
57. "(a) He was the universal (54) favourite of (54) all (8) who knew him, and cemented many friendships at this period, (a) (33) (moving in the highest circle of society, and, as he (b) (50) had a (4 a) certain property, being independent of the profits of literature), and soon completely extinguished the breath of slander which at the outset of his career had threatened to sap the foundations of his reputation."
(a) Begin "Moving in &c." (b) "rendered independent of … by &c." Show that Rule (14) is violated by the metaphors.
58. "The outward and material form of that city which, during the brief period which (10 a) is comprised in our present book, reached the highest pitch of military, artistic, and literary glory, was of this (a) (15) nature. The progress of the (b) (5) first has been already traced."
(a) Begin the sentence with "Such was." (b) By "the first" is meant "military glory."
59. "The detachment not only failed to take the fort, (30) spite of their numbers and the weakness of the garrison, but also to capture the small force that was encamped outside the town, and was, after some sharp fighting, driven back with inconsiderable loss."
Point out the ambiguity. Remedy it by inserting either "which," or "the assailants."
60. "(a) (b) Believing that these reforms can only (c) (21) be effected as public opinion is prepared for them, and that (5) this will be more or less advanced in different localities, the Bill of the Association, (a) (31) which has been for a (3) considerable period in draft, and will be introduced in the next Session of Parliament, provides for placing (d) (3) the control in regard to the points above-mentioned in the (3) hands of the ratepayers of each locality; the power to be exercised through representative Licensing Boards to be periodically elected by them."
(a) Place the parenthesis first, as an independent sentence: "The Bill of the Association has been … Parliament." (b) What noun is qualified by "believing?" Write "In the belief." (c) "effected only so far as they are in accordance with public opinion, which &c." (d) "it, or, the Bill provides that the ratepayers … shall receive control … and shall exercise this control."
61. "I think they are very (1) nice persons, for they kept me amused for a long (a) (11) time together yesterday by their (1) nice stories all about what they (b) have experienced in Japan, where they had been for (a) ever so long, and (c) (43) where they said that the natives ripped up their (d) (5) stomachs."
(a) Mention some time. (b) "experiences" or "adventures." (c) "among other things, they told us &c." (d) "their own."
62. "To contend for advantageous monopolies, which are regarded with a dislike and a suspicion (a) which daily (10 a) increases, (30) however natural it may be to be annoyed at the loss of that which one has once possessed, (15 a) is useless."
(a) A compound adjective can be used, including "daily."
63. "Upon entering the rustic place of entertainment to partake of some refreshment, my nerves were horrified by lighting on a number of boisterous individuals who were singing some species of harvest song, and simultaneously imbibing that cup which, if it cheers, also inebriates; and when, banished from their society by the fumes of the fragrant weed, I wended my way to the apartment which adjoined the one in which I had hoped to rest my weary limbs, I found an interesting assortment of the fairer sex, who were holding a separate confabulation apart from the revels of their rougher spouses."