She Kind of Coaxed Him
Shorts
Shorts
Sixty Minutes in America
Sixty Minutes in America
Skimming the Milky Way
Skimming the Milky Way
Somnambulism and Crime
Somnambulism and Crime
Spinal Meningitis
Spinal Meningitis
Spring
Spring
Squaw Jim
Squaw Jim
Squaw Jim's Religion
Squaw Jim's Religion
Stirring Incidents at a Fire
Stirring Incidents at a Fire
Strabismus and Justice
Street Cars and Curiosities
Street Cars and Curiosities
Taxidermy
Taxidermy
The Amateur Carpenter
The Amateur Carpenter
The Approaching Humorist
The Approaching Humorist
The Arabian Language
The Arabian Language
The Average Hen
The Average Hen
The Bite of a Mad Dog
The Bite of a Mad Dog
The Blase Young Man
The Blase Young Man
The Board of Trade
The Board of Trade
The Cell Nest
The Cell Nest
The Chinese God
The Chinese God
The Church Debt
The Church Debt
The Cow Boy
The Crops
The Crops
The Duke of Rawhide
The Duke of Rawhide
The Expensive Word
The Expensive Word
The Heyday of Life
The Heyday of Life
The Holy Terror
The Holy Terror
The Indian Orator
The Indian Orator
The Little Barefoot Boy
The Little Barefoot Boy
The Miner at Home
The Miner at Home
The Newspaper
The Newspaper
The Old South
The Old South
The Old Subscriber
The Old Subscriber
The Opium Habit
The Opium Habit
The Photograph Habit
The Photograph Habit
The Poor Blind Pig
The Poor Blind Pig
The Sedentary Hen
The Sedentary Hen
The Silver Dollar
The Silver Dollar
The Snake Indian
The Snake Indian
The Story of a Struggler
The Story of a Struggler
The Wail of a Wife
The Warrior's Oration
The Warrior's Oration
The Ways of Doctors
The Ways of Doctors
The Weeping Woman
The Weeping Woman
The Wild Cow
The Wild Cow
They Fell
They Fell
Time's Changes
Time's Changes
To a Married Man
To a Married Man
To an Embryo Poet
To an Embryo Poet
To Her Majesty
To Her Majesty
To The President-Elect
Twombley's Tale
Twombley's Tale
Two Ways of Telling It
Two Ways of Telling It
Venice
Venice
Verona
Verona
“We”
What We Eat
What We Eat
Woman's Wonderful Influence
Woman's Wonderful Influence
Woodtick William's Story
Woodtick William's Story
Words About Washington
Words About Washington
Wrestling With the Mazy
“You Heah
Me, Sah!”
{Illustration: WE WERE NOT ON TERMS OF INTIMACY.}
BALED HAY
By Bill Nye
A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass."
1884
CONTENTS
DEDICATION.
BALED HAY
GREELEY AID RUM.
ABOUT SAW MILLS.
EXPERIMENTS WITH OLD CHEESE.
THE RAG-CARPET.
ONE KIND OF A BOY.
THE CHAMPION MEAN MAN.
FRATERNAL SPARRING.
CHIPETA'S ADDRESS TO THE UTES.
BILL NYE'S CAT.
AUTUMN THOUGHTS.
THE MAN WHO INTERRUPTS.
THE ROCKY MOUKTAIN COW.
PRESERVING EGGS.
HUMAN' NATURE ON THE HALF-SHELL.
TOO CONTIGUOUS.
THE AMENDE HONORABLE.
JOAQUIN AND JUNIATA.
SOME VAGUE THOUGHTS.
THE YOUMORIST.
MY CABINET.
HEALTH FOOD.
PINES FOE HIS OLD HOME
ONE TOUCH OF NATURE.
HOW TO PUT UP A STOVE-PIPE.
FUN OF BEING A PUBLISHER.
LINGERIE.
FRUIT.
THE BONE OF CONTENTION.
CONGRATULATORY.
THE AGONY IS OVER.
OSTRICH CAVALRY.
AN ELECTRIC BELT.
THE ANNUAL WAIL
HE WAS NOT A BURGLAR.
BEST ON, BLESSED MEMORY.
GENIUS AND WHISKY.
THE TWO-HEADED GIRL
THE CULTIVATION OF GUM.
WE HAVE REASONED IT OUT.
CARVING SCHOOLS.
DIGNITY.
ALWAYS BOOM AT THE TOP.
INACCURATE.
THE WESTERN "CHAP."
AN INCIDENT OF THE CAMPAIGN.
WHY DO THEY DO IT?
TWO STYLES.
GOSHALLHEMLOCK SALVE.
THE STAGE BALD-HEAD.
FATHERLY WORDS.
THE GOOD TIME COMING.
MANIA FOR MARKING CLOTHES.
REGARDING THE NOSE.
SOMETHING TOO MUCH OF THIS.
COLOR BLINDNESS.
IS DUELING MURDER?
HEAP GONE.
THE EDITORIAL LAMP.
DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY.
THE MAROON SAUSAGE.
TESTIMONIALS OF REGARD.
THE CHINESE COMPOSITOR
SNOWED UNDER
ROUGH ON OSCAR.
THE POSTAL CARD.
WHY WE ARE NOT GAY.
SCIENTIFIC.
THE REVELATION RACKET IN UTAH.
SAGE BRUSH TONIC.
LAME FROM HIS BERTH.
THE PUBLIC PRINTER.
SAD DESTRUCTION.
THE IMMEDIATE REVOLTER
THE SECRET OF HEALTH.
HOUSEHOLD RECIPES.
WHAT IS LITERATURE?
THE PREVIOUS HOTEL.
ANECDOTE OF SPOTTED TAIL.
THE ZEALOUS VOTER.
HOW TO PRESERVE TEETH
MR. BEECHER'S BRAIN.
OH, NO!
THE MARCH OF CIVILIZATION.
AN UNCLOUDED WELCOME.
THE PILLOW-SHAM HOLDER.
SOMETHING FRESH.
YANKED TO ETERNITY.
WHY WE SHED THE SCALDING.
ANOTHER SUGGESTION.
PISCATORIAL AND EDITORIAL
ANOTHER FEATHERED SONGSTER
ABOUT THE OSTRICH
TOO MUCH GOD AND NO FLOUR.
WE ARE GETTING CYNICAL
ASK US SOMETHING DIFFICULT.
THE MIMIC STAGE.
DECLINE OF AMERICAN HUMOR
CHICAGO CUSTOM HOUSE
FOREIGN OPINION
THEY HAVE CURBED THEIR WOE.
HUNG BY REQUEST.
THE MELVILLES.
MENDING BROKEN NECKS.
ARE YOU A MORMON?
CAUTION.
POISONS AND THEIR ANECDOTES.
CORRESPONDENCE.
WHAT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY NEEDS.
TABLE MANNERS OF CHILDREN.
WHAT IT MEANT.
VOTERS IN UTAH.
INCONGRUITY
RIDING DOWN A MOUNTAIN.
CORRALED HIM.
FIRMNESS.
PUT IN A SUMP.
MINING AS A SCIENCE
DRAWBACKS OF ROYALTY.
ENGLISH HUMOR
ABOUT THE AUTOPSY.
DON'T LIKE OUR STYLE.
MR. T. WILSON.
ETIQUETTE OF THE NAPKIN
AN INFERNAL MACHINE.
THE CODFISH.
HIS AGED MOTHER.
BUSINESS LETTERS.
DANGER OF GARDENING.
BILL NYE AND BOOMERANG
Or, The Tale Of A Meek-Eyed Mule, And Some Other Literary Gems
By Bill Nye
1883
CONTENTS
MY MULE BOOMERANG,
THE APOLOGY.
OSTROPHE TO AN ORPHAN MULE.
A MINERS' MEETING—MY MINE—A MIRAGE ON E PLAINS.
THE TRUE STORY OF DAMON AND PYTHIAS.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
SAD MEMORIES OF THE DEAD YEAR.
LETTER FROM PARIS.
PREHISTORIC CROCKERY.
SUGGESTION'S FOR A SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM.
THE FRAGRANT MORMON.
RECOLLECTIONS OF THE OPERA.
A SUNNY LITTLE INCIDENT.
HE REWARDED HER.
THE MODERN PARLOR STOVE.
REMARKS TO ORIGINATORS.
QUEER
SIC SEMPER GLORIA HOUSEPLANT.
HOW TO TELL.
BIOGRAPHY OF COLOROW.
DIARY OF A SAUCY YOUNG THING.
KILLING OFF THE JAMES' BOYS.
A RELIC.
SOME REASONS WHY I CAN'T BE AN INDIAN AGENT.
THE PICNIC SNOOZER'S LAMENT.
BILLIOUS NYE AND BOOMERANG IN THE GOLD MINES.
TWO GREAT MEN.
DIRTY MURPHY.
A ROCKY MOUNTAIN SUNSET.
THE TEMPERATURE OF THE BUMBLE-BEE.
DRAWBACKS OF PUBLIC LIFE.
THE GLAD, FREE LIFE OF THE MINER.
SOME THOUGHTS OF CHILDHOOD.
THE NEW ADJUSTABLE CAMPAIGN SONG.
SITTING ON ON A VENERABLE JOKE.
A HAIRBREADTH ESCAPE.
MYSELF, DR. TALMAGE, AND OTHER DIVINES.
FINE-CUT AS A MEANS OF GRACE.
THE WEATHER AND SOME OTHER THINGS.
THE PARABLE OF THE UNJUST STEWARD.
THE PARABLE OF THE PRODIGAL SON.
THE INDIAN AND THE EVERLASTING GOSPEL.
THE MUSE.
SHOEING A BRONCO.
PUMPKIN JIM; OR THE TALE OF A BUSTED JACKASS RABBIT.
CHAPTER I.—PUMPKIN JIM.
CHAPTER II.—GERALDINE CARBOLINE O'TOOLE.
CHAPTER III.—STARTLING REVELATIONS.
CHAPTER IV.—all's well that ends well.
WILLIAM NYE AND THE HEATHEN CHINEE.
HONG LEE'S GRAND BENEFIT AT LEADVILLE.
YOU FOU.
THE LOP-EARED LOVERS OF THE LITTLE LARAMIE.
CHAPTER I.—A TALE OF LOVE AND PARENTAL CUSSEDNESS.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV.
SPEECH OF SPARTACTUS.
CORRESPONDENCE.
HE WENT OUT WEST FOR HIS HEALTH.
A QUIET LITTLE WEDDING WITHOUT ANY FRILLS
THOUGHTS ON SPRING
THE SAME OLD THING.
THE VETERAN WHO DIED WHILE GETTING HIS PENSION.
GINGERBREAD POEMS AND COLD PICKLED FACTS.
ORIGIN OF BEAUTIFUL SNOW,
UTE ELOQUENCE.
THE AGED INDIAN'S LAMENT.
HOW A MINING STAMPEDE BREAKS OUT.
THE GREAT ROCKY MOUNTAIN REUNION OF YALLER DOGS.
WHAT WOMAN'S SUFFRAGE HAS DONE FOR WYOMING.
PORTUGUESE WITHOUT A MASTER.
THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOG.
THE BUCKNESS WHEREWITH THE BUCK BEER BUCKETH.
BILLIOUS NYE AND THE AMATEUR STAGE.
A JOURNALISTIC CORRECTION.
THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE.
A UTE PRESIDENTIAL CONVENTION.
THE CLUB-FOOTED LOVER OF PIUTE PASS.
CHAPTER THE FIRST.
CHAPTER THE TWICE.
CHAPTER THREE TIMES.
CHAPTER FOUR TIMES.
THE AUTOMATIC LIAR
SOME POSTOFFICE FIENDS.
AGRICULTURE AT AN ALTITUDE OF 7500 FEET.
THE GENTLE YOUTH FROM LEADVILLE.
A SNIDE JOURNALIST.
HE WAS BLIND.
THOUGHTS OF THE MELLOW PREVIOUSLY.
MY TOMBSTONE MINE.
BANKRUPT SALE OF A CIRCUS.
GREELEY VERSUS VALLEY TAN.
THE ETERNAL FITNESS OF THINGS.
THEY UNANIMOUSLY AROSE AND HUNG HIM.
RHETORIC VS. WOODTICK.
THE MODEL WIFE.
SOME OVERLAND TOURISTS.
CATCHING MOUNTAIN TROUT AT AN ELEVATION OF 8000 FEET.
TROUT FISHING.
HOME-MADE INDIAN RELICS.
THE PREVIOUS REPORTER.
THE PEACE COMMISSION.
SOME ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.
THE CROW INDIAN AND HIS CAWS.
THE NUPTIALS OP DANGEROUS DAVIS.
THE HOLIDAY HOG.
SOME CENSUS CONUNDRUMS.
THE GENTLE POWER OF A WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.
THE NATIVE INBORN SHIFTLESSNESS OF THE PRAIRIE DOGS.
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.
THE SECRET OF GARFIELD'S ELECTION.
PERILS OF THE BUTTERNUT PICKER.
A WORD OR TWO ABOUT THE SWALLOW.
LAUGHING SAM.
THE CALAMITY JANE CONSOLIDATED.
THE NOCTURNAL COW.
THE RELENTLESS GARDEN HOSE.
A WAIL.
THE GREAT, HORRID MAN RECEIVETH NEW YEAR CALLS.
JUST THE THING.
THANKS.
AN ANTI-MORMON TOWN.
A CHRISTMAS RIDE IN JULY.
EXAMINING THE BRAND ON A FROZEN STEER.
ONION PEELIN'S.
