Part 2—Chapter II.
In following my Nose, I narrowly escaped being nosed by a Beak.
And as I lay in my bed, thinking that I was now nearly twenty years old, and had not yet made any discovery, my heart sank within me. My monomania returned with redoubled force, and I resolved to renew my search with vigour. So I told Timothy the next morning, when he came into my room, but from him I received little consolation; he advised me to look out for a good match in a rich wife, and leave time to develop the mystery of my birth; pointing out the little chance I ever had of success.
Town was not full, the season had hardly commenced, and we had few invitations or visits to distract my thoughts from their object. My leg became so painful, that for a week I was on the sofa, Timothy every day going out to ascertain if he could find the person whom we had seen resembling me, and every evening returning without success. I became melancholy and nervous. Carbonnell could not imagine what was the matter with me. At last I was able to walk, and I sallied forth, perambulating, or rather running through street after street, looking into every carriage, so as to occasion surprise to the occupants, who believed me mad; my dress and person were disordered, for I had become indifferent to it, and Timothy himself believed that I was going out of my senses.
At last, after we had been in town about five weeks, I saw the very object of my search, seated in a carriage, of a dark brown colour, arms painted in shades, so as not to be distinguishable but at a near approach; his hat was off, and he sat upright and formally. “That is he!” ejaculated I, and away I ran after the carriage. “It is the nose,” cried I, as I ran down the street, knocking everyone to the right and left. I lost my hat, but fearful of losing sight of the carriage, I hastened on, when I heard a cry of “Stop him, stop him!”—“Stop him,” cried I, also, referring to the gentleman in black in the carriage.
“That won’t do,” cried a man, seizing me by the collar; “I know a trick worth two of that.”
“Let me go,” roared I, struggling; but he only held me the faster. I tussled with the man until my coat and shirt were torn, but in vain; the crowd now assembled, and I was fast. The fact was, that a pickpocket had been exercising his vocation at the time that I was running past, and from my haste, and loss of my hat, I was supposed to be the criminal. The police took charge of me—I pleaded innocence in vain, and I was dragged before the magistrate at Marlborough Street My appearance, the disorder of my dress, my coat and shirt in ribands, with no hat, were certainly not at all in my favour, when I made my appearance, led in by two Bow Street officers.
“Whom have we here?” inquired the magistrate.
“A pickpocket, sir,” replied they.
“Ah! one of the swell mob,” replied he. “Are there any witnesses?”
“Yes, sir,” replied a young man, coming forward. “I was walking up Bond Street, when I felt a tug at my pocket, and when I turned round, this chap was running away.”
“Can you swear to his person?”
There were plenty to swear that I was the person who ran away.
“Now, sir, have you anything to offer in your defence?” said the magistrate.
“Yes, sir,” replied I; “I certainly was running down the street; and it may be, for all I know or care, that this person’s pocket may have been picked—but I did not pick it. I am a gentleman.”
“All your fraternity lay claim to gentility,” replied the magistrate; “perhaps you will state why you were running down the street.”
“I was running after a carriage, sir, that I might speak to the person inside of it.”
“Pray who was the person inside?”
“I do not know, sir.”
“Why should you run after a person you do not know?”
“It was because of his nose.”
“His nose?” replied the magistrate angrily. “Do you think to trifle with me, sir? You shall now follow your own nose to prison. Make out his committal.”
“As you please, sir,” replied I; “but still I have told you the truth; if you will allow anyone to take a note, I will soon prove my respectability. I ask it in common justice.”
“Be it so,” replied the magistrate; “let him sit down within the bar till the answer comes.”
In less than an hour, my note to Major Carbonnell was answered by his appearance in person, followed by Timothy. Carbonnell walked up to the magistrate, while Timothy asked the officers in an angry tone, what they had been doing to his master. This rather startled them, but both they and the magistrate were much surprised when the major asserted that I was his most particular friend, Mr Newland, who possessed ten thousand pounds per annum, and who was as well known in fashionable society as any young man of fortune about town. The magistrate explained what had passed, and asked the major if I was not a little deranged; but the major, who perceived what was the cause of my strange behaviour, told him that somebody had insulted me, and that I was very anxious to lay hold of the person who had avoided me, and who must have been in that carriage.
“I am afraid, that after your explanation, Major Carbonnell, I must, as a magistrate, bind over your friend, Mr Newland, to keep the peace.”
To this I consented, the major and Timothy being taken as recognisances, and then I was permitted to depart. The major sent for a hackney-coach; and when we were going home he pointed out to me the folly of my conduct, and received my promise to be more careful for the future. Thus did this affair end, and for a short time I was more careful in my appearance, and not so very anxious to look into carriages; still, however, the idea haunted me, and I was often very melancholy. It was about a month afterwards, that I was sauntering with the major, who now considered me to be insane upon that point, and who would seldom allow me to go out without him, when I again perceived the same carriage, with the gentleman inside as before.
“There he is, major,” cried I.
“There is who?” replied he.
“The man so like my father.”
“What, in that carriage? that is the Bishop of E—, my good fellow. What a strange idea you have in your head, Newland; it almost amounts to madness. Do not be staring in that way—come along.”
Still my head was turned quite round, looking at the carriage after it had passed, till it was out of sight; but I knew who the party was, and for the time I was satisfied, as I determined to find out his address, and call upon him. I narrated to Timothy what had occurred, and referring to the Red Book, I looked out the bishop’s town address; and the next day, after breakfast, having arranged my toilet with the utmost precision, I made an excuse to the major, and set off to Portland Place.
Part 2—Chapter III.
A Chapter of Mistakes—No Benefit of Clergy—I attack a Bishop, and am beaten off—The Major hedges upon the Filly Stakes.
My hand trembled as I knocked at the door. It was opened. I sent in my card, requesting the honour of an audience with his lordship. After waiting a few minutes in an ante-room, I was ushered in. “My lord,” said I, in a flurried manner, “will you allow me to have a few minutes’ conversation with you alone.”
“This gentleman is my secretary, sir, but if you wish it, certainly; for although he is my confidant, I have no right to insist that he shall be yours. Mr Temple, will you oblige me by going up stairs for a little while.”
The secretary quitted the room, the bishop pointed to a chair, and I sat down. I looked him earnestly in the face—the nose was exact, and I imagined that even in the other features I could distinguish a resemblance. I was satisfied that I had at last gained the object of my search. “I believe, sir,” observed I, “that you will acknowledge, that in the heat and impetuosity of youth, we often rush into hasty and improvident connections.”
I paused, with my eyes fixed upon his. “Very true, my young sir; and when we do we are ashamed, and repent of them afterwards,” replied the bishop, rather astonished.
“I grant that, sir,” replied I; “but at the same time, we must feel that we must abide by the results, however unpleasant.”
“When we do wrong, Mr Newland,” replied the bishop, first looking at my card, and then upon me, “we find that we are not only to be punished in the next world, but suffer for it also in this. I trust you have no reason for such suffering?”
“Unfortunately, the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children, and, in that view, I may say that I have suffered.”
“My dear sir,” replied the bishop, “I trust you will excuse me, when I say, that my time is rather valuable; if you have anything of importance to communicate—anything upon which you would ask my advice—for assistance you do not appear to require, do me the favour to proceed at once to the point.”
“I will, sir, be as concise as the matter will admit of. Allow me, then, to ask you a few questions, and I trust to your honour, and the dignity of your profession, for a candid answer. Did you not marry a young woman early in life? and were you not very much pressed in your circumstances?”
The bishop stared. “Really, Mr Newland, it is a strange question, and I cannot imagine to what it may lead, but still I will answer it. I did marry early in life, and I was, at that time, not in very affluent circumstances.”
“You had a child by that marriage—your eldest born—a boy!”
“That is also true, Mr Newland,” replied the bishop, gravely.
“How long is it since you have seen him?”
“It is many years,” replied the bishop, putting his handkerchief up to his eyes.
“Answer me, now, sir;—did you not desert him?”
“No, no!” replied the bishop. “It is strange that you should appear to know so much about the matter, Mr Newland, as you could have hardly been born. I was poor then—very poor; but although I could ill afford it, he had fifty pounds from me.”
“But, sir,” replied I, much agitated; “why have you not reclaimed him?”
“I would have reclaimed him, Mr Newland—but what could I do—he was not to be reclaimed; and now—he is lost for ever.”
“Surely, sir, in your present affluence, you must wish to see him again?”
“He died, and I trust he has gone to heaven,” replied the bishop, covering up his face.
“No, sir,” replied I, throwing myself on my knees before him, “he did not die, here he is at your feet, to ask your blessing.”
The bishop sprang from his chair. “What does this mean, sir?” said he, with astonishment. “You my son?”
“Yes, reverend father—your son; who, with fifty pounds you left—”
“On the top of the Portsmouth coach!”
“No, sir, in the basket.”
“My son! sir,—impossible; he died in the hospital.”
“No, sir, he has come out of the hospital,” replied I; “and, as you perceive, safe and well.”
“Either, sir, this must be some strange mistake, or you must be trifling with me,” replied his lordship; “for, sir, I was at his death-bed, and followed him to his grave.”
“Are you sure of that, sir?” replied I, starting up with amazement.
“I wish that I was not, sir—for I am now childless; but pray, sir, who, and what are you, who know so much of my former life, and who would have thus imposed upon me?”
“Imposed upon you, sir!” replied I, perceiving that I was in error. “Alas! I would do no such thing. Who am I? I am a young man who is in search of his father. Your face, and especially your nose, so resembled mine, that I made sure that I had succeeded. Pity me, sir—pity me,” continued I, covering up my face with my hands.
The bishop, perceiving that there was little of the impostor in my appearance, and that I was much affected, allowed a short time for me to recover myself, and then entered into an explanation. When a curate, he had had an only son, very wild, who would go to sea in spite of his remonstrances. He saw him depart by the Portsmouth coach, and gave him the sum mentioned. His son received a mortal wound in action, and was sent to the Plymouth hospital, where he died. I then entered into my explanation in a few concise sentences, and with a heart beating with disappointment, took my leave. The bishop shook hands with me as I quitted the room, and wished me better success at my next application.
I went home almost in despair. Timothy consoled me as well as he could, and advised me to go as much as possible into society, as the most likely chance of obtaining my wish, not that he considered there was any chance, but he thought that amusement would restore me to my usual spirits. “I will go and visit little Fleta,” replied I, “for a few days; the sight of her will do me more good than anything else.” And the next day I set off for the town of —, where I found the dear little girl, much grown, and much improved. I remained with her for a week, walking with her in the country, amusing her, and amused myself with our conversation. At the close of the week I bade her farewell, and returned to the major’s lodgings.
I was astonished to find him in deep mourning. “My dear Carbonnell,” said I, inquiringly, “I hope no severe loss?”
“Nay, my dear Newland, I should be a hypocrite if I said so; for there never was a more merry mourner, and that’s the truth of it. Mr M—, who, you know, stood between me and the peerage, has been drowned in the Rhone; I now have a squeak for it. His wife has one daughter, and is enceinte. Should the child prove a boy, I am done for, but if a girl, I must then come into the barony, and fifteen thousand pounds per annum. However, I’ve hedged pretty handsomely.”
“How do you mean?”
“Why they say that when a woman commences with girls, she generally goes on, and the odds are two to one that Mrs M— has a girl. I have taken the odds at the clubs to the amount of fifteen thousand pounds; so if it be a girl I shall have to pay that out of my fifteen thousand pounds per annum, as soon as I fall into it; if it be a boy, and I am floored, I shall pocket thirty thousand pounds by way of consolation for the disappointment. They are all good men.”
“Yes, but they know you never pay.”
“They know I never do now, because I have no money; but they know I will pay if I come into the estate; and so I will, most honourably, besides a few more thousands that I have in my book.”
“I congratulate you, with all my heart, major. How old is the present Lord B—?”
“I have just been examining the peerage—he is sixty-two; but he is very fresh and hearty, and may live a long while yet. By-the-by, Newland, I committed a great error last night at the club. I played pretty high, and lost a great deal of money.”
“That is unfortunate.”
“That was not the error; I actually paid all my losings, Newland, and it has reduced the stock amazingly, I lost seven hundred and fifty pounds. I know I ought not to have paid away your money; but the fact was, as I was hedging, it would not do not to have paid, as I could not have made up my book as I wished. It is, however, only waiting a few weeks, till Mrs M— decides my fate, and then, either one way or the other, I shall have money enough. If your people won’t give you any more till you are of age, why we must send to a little friend of mine, that’s all, and you shall borrow for both of us.”
“Borrow!” replied I, not much liking the idea; “they will never lend me money.”
“Won’t they?” replied the major; “no fear of that. Your signature, and my introduction, will be quite sufficient.”
“We had better try to do without it, major; I do not much like it.”
“Well, if we can, we will; but I have not fifty pounds left in my desk; how much have you?”
“About twenty,” replied I, in despair at this intelligence; “but I think there is a small sum left at the banker’s; I will go and see.” I took up my hat and set off, to ascertain what funds we might have in store.
Part 2—Chapter IV.
I am over Head and Ears in Trouble about a Lady’s Ear-Ring—Commit myself sadly, and am very nearly committed.
I must say, that I was much annoyed at this intelligence. The money-lenders would not be satisfied unless they knew where my estates were, and had examined the will at Doctors’ Commons; then all would be exposed to the major, and I should be considered by him as an impostor. I walked down Pall Mall in a very unhappy mood, so deep in thought, that I ran against a lady, who was stepping out of her carriage at a fashionable shop. She turned round, and I was making my best apologies to a very handsome woman, when her ear-rings caught my attention. They were of alternate coral and gold, and the facsimile in make to the chain given by Nattée to Fleta. During my last visit, I had often had the chain in my hand, and particularly marked the workmanship. To make more sure, I followed her into the shop, and stood behind her, carefully examining them, as she looked over a quantity of laces. There could be no doubt. I waited till the lady rose to go away, and then addressed the shopman, asking the lady’s name. He did not know—she was a stranger; but perhaps Mr H—, the master, did, and he went back to answer the question. Mr H— being at that moment busy, the man stayed so long, that I heard the carriage drive off. Fearful of losing sight of the lady, I took to my heels, and ran out of the shop. My sudden flight from the counter, covered with lace, made them imagine that I had stolen some, and they cried out, “Stop thief,” as loud as they could, springing over the counter, and pursuing me as I pursued the carriage, which was driven at a rapid pace. A man perceiving me running, and others, without their hats, following, with the cries of “Stop thief,” put out his leg, and I fell on the pavement, the blood rushing in torrents from my nose. I was seized, roughly handled, and again handed over to the police, who carried me before the same magistrate in Marlborough Street.
“What is this?” demanded the magistrate.
“A shoplifter, you worship.”
“I am not, sir,” replied I; “you know me well enough, I am Mr Newland.”
“Mr Newland!” replied the magistrate, suspiciously; “this is strange, a second time to appear before me upon such a charge.”
“And just as innocent as before, sir.”
“You’ll excuse me, sir, but I must have my suspicions this time. Where is the evidence?”
The people of the shop then came forward, and stated what had occurred. “Let him be searched,” said the magistrate.
I was searched, but nothing was found upon me. “Are you satisfied now, sir?” inquired I.
“By no means. Let the people go back and look over their laces, and see if any are missing; in the mean time I shall detain you, for it is very easy to get rid of a small article, such as lace, when you are caught.”
The men went away, and I wrote a note to Major Carbonnell, requesting his attendance. He arrived at the same time as the shopman, and I told him what had happened. The shopman declared that the stock was not correct; as far as they could judge, there were two pieces of lace missing.
“If so, I did not take them,” replied I.
“Upon my honour, Mr B—,” said the major, to the magistrate, “it is very hard for a gentleman to be treated in this manner. This is the second time that I have been sent for to vouch for his respectability.”
“Very true, sir,” replied the magistrate; “but allow me to ask Mr Newland, as he calls himself, what induced him to follow a lady into the shop?”
“Her ear-rings,” replied I.
“Her ear-rings! why, sir, the last time you were brought before me, you said it was after a gentleman’s nose—now it appears you were attracted by a lady’s ears; and pray, sir, what induced you to run out of the shop?”
“Because I wanted particularly to inquire about her ear-rings, sir.”
“I cannot understand these paltry excuses; there are, it appears, two pieces of lace missing, I must remand you for further examination, sir; and you also, sir,” said the magistrate, to Major Carbonnell; “for if he is a swindler, you must be an accomplice.”
“Sir,” replied Major Carbonnell, sneeringly, “you are certainly a very good judge of a gentleman, when you happen by accident to be in his company. With your leave, I will send a note to another confederate.”
The major then wrote a note to Lord Windermear, which he despatched by Timothy, who, hearing I was in trouble, had accompanied the major. And while he was away, the major and I sat down, he giving himself all manner of airs, much to the annoyance of the magistrate, who at last threatened to commit him immediately. “You’ll repent this,” replied the major, who perceived Lord Windermear coming in.
“You shall repent it, sir, by God,” cried the magistrate in a great passion.
“Put five shillings in the box for swearing, Mr B—. You fine other people,” said the major. “Here is my other confederate, Lord Windermear.”
“Carbonnell,” said Lord Windermear, “what is all this?”
“Nothing, my lord, except that our friend Newland is taken up for shoplifting, because he thought proper to run after a pretty woman’s carriage; and I am accused by his worship of being his confederate. I could forgive his suspicions of Mr Newland in that plight; but as for his taking me for one of the swell mob it proves a great deficiency of judgment; perhaps he will commit your lordship also, as he may not be aware that your lordship’s person is above caption.”
“I can assure you, sir,” said Lord Windermear, proudly, “that this is my relative, Major Carbonnell, and the other is my friend, Mr Newland. I will bail them for any sum you please.”
The magistrate felt astonished and annoyed, for, after all, he had only done his duty. Before he could reply, a man came from the shop to say that the laces had been found all right. Lord Windermear then took me aside, and I narrated what had happened. He recollected the story of Fleta in my narrative of my life, and felt that I was right in trying to find out who the lady was. The magistrate now apologised for the detention, but explained to his lordship how I had before made my appearance upon another charge, and with a low bow we were dismissed.
“My dear Mr Newland,” said his lordship, “I trust that this will be a warning to you, not to run after other people’s noses and ear-rings; at the same time, I will certainly keep a look out for those very ear-rings myself. Major, I wish you a good morning.”
His lordship then shook us both by the hand, and saying that he should be glad to see more of me than he latterly had done, stepped into his carriage and drove off.
“What the devil did his lordship mean about ear-rings, Newland?” inquired the major.
“I told him that I was examining the lady’s ear-rings as very remarkable,” replied I.
“You appear to be able to deceive everybody but me, my good fellow. I know that you were examining the lady herself.” I left the major in his error, by making no reply.
Part 2—Chapter V.
I borrow Money upon my Estate, and upon very favourable Terms.
When I came down to breakfast the next morning, the major said, “My dear Newland, I have taken the liberty of requesting a very old friend of mine to come and meet you this morning. I will not disguise from you that it is Emmanuel, the money-lender. Money you must have until my affairs are decided, one way or the other; and, in this instance, I will most faithfully repay the sum borrowed, as soon as I receive the amount of my bets, or am certain of succeeding to the title, which is one and the same thing.”
I bit my lips, for I was not a little annoyed; but what could be done? I must have either confessed my real situation to the major, or have appeared to raise scruples, which, as the supposed heir to a large fortune, would have appeared to him to be very frivolous. I thought it better to let the affair take its chance. “Well,” replied I, “if it must be, it must be; but it shall be on my own terms.”
“Nay,” observed the major, “there is no fear but that he will consent, and without any trouble.”
After a moment’s reflection I went up stairs and rang for Timothy. “Tim,” said I, “hear me; I now make you a solemn promise, on my honour as a gentleman, that I will never borrow money upon interest, and until you release me from it, I shall adhere to my word.”
“Very well, sir,” replied Timothy; “I guess your reason for so doing, and I expect you will keep your word. Is that all?”
“Yes; now you may take up the urn.”
We had finished our breakfast, when Timothy announced Mr Emmanuel, who followed him into the room. “Well, Old Cent per Cent, how are you?” said the major. “Allow me to introduce my most particular friend, Mr Newland.”
“Auh! Master Major,” replied the descendant of Abraham, a little puny creature, bent double with infirmity, and carrying one hand behind his back, as if to counterbalance the projection of his head and shoulders. “You vash please to call me Shent per Shent. I wish I vash able to make de monies pay that. Mr Newland, can I be of any little shervice to you?”
“Sit down, sit down, Emmanuel. You have my warrant for Mr Newland’s respectability, and the sooner we get over the business the better.”
“Auh, Mr Major, it ish true, you was recommend many good—no, not always good—customers to me, and I was very much obliged. Vat can I do for your handsome young friend? De young gentlemen always vant money; and it is de youth which is de time for de pleasure and enjoyment.”
“He wants a thousand pounds, Emmanuel.”
“Dat is a large sum—one tousand pounds! he does not vant any more?”
“No,” replied I, “that will be sufficient.”
“Vell, den, I have de monish in my pocket. I will just beg de young gentleman to sign a little memorandum, dat I may von day receive my monish.”
“But what is that to be?” interrupted I.
“It will be to promise to pay me my monish and only fifteen per shent, when you come into your own.”
“That will not do,” replied I; “I have pledged my solemn word of honour, that I will not borrow money on interest.”
“And you have given de pledge, but you did not swear upon de book?”
“No, but my word has been given, and that is enough; if I would forfeit my word with those to whom I have given it, I would also forfeit my word with you. My keeping my promise, ought to be a pledge to you that I wilt keep my promise to you.”
“Dat is vell said—very vell said; but den we must manage some oder way. Suppose—let me shee—how old are you, my young sir?”
“Past twenty.”
“Auh, dat is a very pleasant age, dat twenty. Vell, den, you shall shign a leetle bit of paper, that you pay me 2000 pounds ven you come into your properties, on condition dat I pay now one tousand. Dat is very fair—ish it not Mr Major?”
“Rather too hard, Emmanuel.”
“But de rishque—de rishque, Mr Major.”
“I will not agree to those terms,” replied I; “you must take your money away, Mr Emmanuel.”
“Vell, den—vat vill you pay me?”
“I will sign an agreement to pay you 1500 pounds for the thousand, if you please; if that will not suit you, I will try elsewhere.”
“Dat is very bad bargain. How old, you shay?”
“Twenty.”
“Vell, I shuppose I must oblige you, and my very goot friend, de major.”
Mr Emmanuel drew out his spectacles, pen, and inkhorn, filled up a bond, and handed it to me to sign. I read it carefully over, and signed it; he then paid down the money, and took his leave.
It may appear strange to the reader that the money was obtained so easily, but he must remember that the major was considered a person who universally attached himself to young men of large fortune; he had already been the means of throwing many profitable speculations into the hands of Emmanuel, and the latter put implicit confidence in him. The money-lenders also are always on the look out for young men with large fortunes, and have their names registered. Emmanuel had long expected me to come to him; and although it was his intention to have examined more particularly, and not to have had the money prepared, yet my refusal to sign the bond, bearing interest, and my disputing the terms of the second proposal, blinded him completely, and put him off his usual guard.
“Upon my word, Newland, you obtained better terms than I could have expected from the old Hunks.”
“Much better than I expected also, major,” replied I; “but now, how much of the money would you like to have?”
“My dear fellow, this is very handsome of you; but, I thank Heaven, I shall be soon able to repay it; but what pleases me, Newland, is your perfect confidence in one, whom the rest of the world would not trust with a shilling. I will accept your offer as freely as it is made, and take 500 pounds, just to make a show for the few weeks that I am in suspense, and then you will find, that, with all my faults, I am not deficient in gratitude.” I divided the money with the major, and he shortly afterwards went out.
“Well, sir,” said Timothy, entering, full of curiosity, “what have you done?”
“I have borrowed a thousand to pay fifteen hundred when I come into my property.”
“You are safe then. Excellent, and the Jew will be bit.”
“No, Timothy, I intend to repay it as soon as I can.”
“I should like to know when that will be.”
“So should I, Tim, for it must depend upon my finding out my parentage.” Heigho, thought I, when shall I ever find out who is my father?
Part 2—Chapter VI.
The Major is very fortunate and very unfortunate—He receives a large Sum in Gold and one Ounce of Lead.
I dressed and went out, met Harcourt, dined with him, and on my return the major had not come home. It was then past midnight, and feeling little inclination to sleep, I remained in the drawing-room, waiting for his arrival. About three o’clock he came in, flushed in the face, and apparently in high good humour.
“Newland,” said he, throwing his pocket-book on the table, “just open that, and then you will open your eyes.”
I obeyed him, and to my surprise took out a bundle of bank notes; I counted up their value, and they amounted to 3500 pounds.
“You have been fortunate, indeed.”
“Yes,” replied the major; “knowing that in a short time I shall be certain of cash, one way or the other, I had resolved to try my luck with the 500 pounds. I went to the hazard table, and threw in seventeen times—hedged upon the deuce ace, and threw out with it—voilà. They won’t catch me there again in a hurry—luck like that only comes once in a man’s life; but, Japhet, there is a little drawback to all this. I shall require your kind attendance in two or three hours.”
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Merely an affair of honour. I was insulted by a vagabond, and we meet at six o’clock.”
“A vagabond—but surely, Carbonnell, you will not condescend—”
“My dear fellow, although as great a vagabond as there is on the face of the earth, yet he is a peer of the realm, and his title warrants the meeting—but, after all, what is it?”
“I trust it will be nothing, Carbonnell, but still it may prove otherwise.”
“Granted; and what then, my dear Newland? we all owe Heaven a death, and if I am floored, why then I shall no longer be anxious about title or fortune.”
“It’s a bad way of settling a dispute,” replied I, gravely.
“There is no other, Newland. How would society be held in check if it were not for duelling? We should all be a set of bears living in a bear-garden. I presume you have never been out?”
“Never,” replied I, “and had hoped that I never should have.”
“Then you must have better fortune, or better temper than most others, if you pass through life without an affair of this kind on your hands. I mean as principal, not as second. But, my dear fellow, I must give you a little advice, relative to your behaviour as a second; for I’m very particular on these occasions, and like that things should be done very correctly. It will never do, my dear Newland, that you appear on the ground with that melancholy face. I do not mean that you should laugh, or even smile, that would be equally out of character, but you should show yourself perfectly calm and indifferent. In your behaviour towards the other second, you must be most scrupulously polite, but, at the same time, never give up a point of dispute, in which my interest may be concerned. Even in your walk be slow, and move, as much as the ground will allow you, as if you were in a drawing-room. Never remain silent; offer even trivial remarks, rather than appear distrait. There is one point of great importance—I refer to choosing the ground, in which, perhaps, you will require my unperceived assistance. Any decided line behind me would be very advantageous to my adversary, such as the trunk of a tree, post, etcetera, even an elevated light or dark ground behind me is inadvisable. Choose, if you can, a broken light, as it affects the correctness of the aim; but as you will not probably be able to manage this satisfactorily, I will assist you. When on the ground, after having divided the sun fairly between us, I will walk about unconcernedly, and when I perceive a judicious spot, I will take a pinch of snuff and use my handkerchief, turning at the same time in the direction in which I wish my adversary to be placed. Take your cue from that, and with all suavity of manner insist as much as you can upon our being so placed. That must be left to your own persuasive powers. I believe I have now stated all that is necessary, and I must prepare my instruments.”
The major then went into his own room, and I never felt more nervous or more unhinged than after this conversation. I had a melancholy foreboding—but that I believe everyone has, when he, for the first time, has to assist at a mortal rencontre. I was in a deep musing when he returned with his pistols and all the necessary apparatus; and when the major pointed out to me, and made me once or twice practise the setting of the hair triggers, which is the duty of the second, an involuntary shudder came over me.
“Why, Newland, what is the matter with you? I thought that you had more nerve.”
“I probably should show more, Carbonnell, were I the principal instead of the second, but I cannot bear the reflection that some accident should happen to you. You are the only one with whom I have been on terms of friendship, and the idea of losing you is very, very painful.”
“Newland, you really quite unman me, and you may now see a miracle,” continued Carbonnell, as he pressed his hand to his eye, “the moisture of a tear on the cheek of a London roué, a man of the world, who has long lived for himself and for this world only. It never would be credited if asserted. Newland, there was a time when I was like yourself—the world took advantage of my ingenuousness and inexperience; my good feelings were the cause of my ruin, and then, by degrees, I became as callous and as hardened as the world itself. My dear fellow, I thought all affection, all sentiment, dried up within me, but it is not the case. You have made me feel that I have still a heart, and that I can love you. But this is all romance, and not fitted for the present time. It is now five o’clock, let us be on the ground early—it will give us an advantage.”
“I do not much like speaking to you on the subject, Carbonnell; but is there nothing that you might wish done in case of accident?”
“Nothing—why yes. I may as well. Give me a sheet of paper.” The major sat down and wrote for a few minutes. “Now, send Timothy and another here. Timothy, and you, sir, see me sign this paper, and put my seal to it. I deliver this as my act and deed. Put your names as witnesses.” They complied with his request, and then the major desired Timothy to call a hackney-coach. “Newland,” said the major, putting the paper, folded up, in my pocket, along with the bank notes, “take care of this for me till we come back.”
“The coach is at the door, sir,” said Timothy, looking at me, as if to say, “What can all this be about?”
“You may come with us and see,” said the major, observing Tim’s countenance, “and put that case into the coach.” Tim, who knew that it was the major’s case of pistols, appeared still more alarmed, and stood still without obeying the order. “Never mind, Tim, your master is not the one who is to use them,” said the major, patting him on the shoulder.
Timothy, relieved by this intelligence, went down stairs with the pistols; we followed him. Tim mounted on the box, and we drove to Chalk Farm. “Shall the coach wait?” inquired Timothy.
“Yes, by all means,” replied I, in a low voice. We arrived at the usual ground, where disputes of this kind were generally settled; and the major took a survey of it with great composure.
“Now observe, Japhet,” said he, “if you can contrive—; but here they are. I will give you the notice agreed upon.” The peer, whose title was Lord Tineholme, now came up with his second, whom he introduced to me as Mr Osborn. “Mr Newland,” replied the major, saluting Mr Osborn in return. We both took off our hats, bowed and then proceeded to our duty. I must do my adversary’s second the justice to say, that his politeness was fully equal to mine. There was no mention, on either side, of explanations and retractions—the insult was too gross, and the character of his lordship, as well as that of Major Carbonnell, was too well known. Twelve paces were proposed by Mr Osborn, and agreed to by me—the pistols of Major Carbonnell were gained by drawing lots—we had nothing more to do but to place our principals. The major took out his snuff-box, took a pinch, and blew his nose, turning towards a copse of beech trees.
“With your permission, I will mark out the ground, Mr Osborn,” said I, walking up to the major, and intending to pace twelve paces in the direction towards which he faced.
“Allow me to observe that I think a little more in this direction would be more fair for both parties,” said Mr Osborn.
“It would so, my dear sir,” replied I; “but, submitting to your superior judgment, perhaps it may not have struck you that my principal will have rather too much of the sun. I am incapable of taking any advantage, but I should not do my duty if I did not see every justice done to the major, who has confided to me in this unpleasant affair. I put it to you, sir, as a gentleman and man of honour, whether I am claiming too much?” A little amicable altercation took place on this point; but finding that I would not yield, and that at every reply I was more and more polite and bland in my deportment, Mr Osborn gave up the point. I walked the twelve paces, and Mr Osborn placed his principal. I observed that Lord Tineholme did not appear pleased; he expostulated with him, but it was then too late. The pistols had been already loaded—the choice was given to his lordship, and Major Carbonnell received the other from my hand, which actually trembled, while his was firm. I requested Mr Osborn to drop the handkerchief, as I could not make up my mind to give a signal which might be fatal to the major. They fired—Lord Tineholme fell immediately—the major remained on his feet for a second or two, and then sank down on the ground. I hastened up to him. “Where are you hurt?”
The major put his hand to his hip—“I am hit hard Newland, but not so hard as he is. Run and see.”
I left the major, and went up to where Lord Tineholme lay, his head raised on the knee of his second.
“It is all over with him, Mr Newland, the ball has passed through his brain.”
Part 2—Chapter VII.
The Major pays the only Debt of Consequence he ever did pay, and I find myself a Man of Property.
I hastened back to the major, to examine his wound, and, with the assistance of Timothy, I stripped him sufficiently to ascertain that the ball had entered his hip, and probing the wound with my finger, it appeared that it had glanced off in the direction of the intestines; the suffusion of blood was very trifling, which alarmed me still more. “Could you bear removal, major, in the coach?”
“I cannot tell, but we must try: the sooner I am home the better, Japhet,” replied he, faintly.
With the assistance of Timothy, I put him into the hackney-coach, and we drove off, after I had taken off my hat and made my obeisance to Mr Osborn, an effort of politeness which I certainly should have neglected, had I not been reminded of it by my principal. We set off, and the major bore his journey very well, making no complaint; but on our arrival he fainted as we lifted him out. As soon as he was on the bed, I despatched Timothy for a surgeon. On his arrival he examined the wound, and shook his head. Taking me into the next room, he declared his opinion, that the ball had passed into the intestines, which were severed, and that there was no hope. I sat down and covered up my face—the tears rolled down and trickled through my fingers—it was the first heavy blow I had yet received. Without kindred or connections, I felt that I was about to lose one who was dear to me. To another, not in my situation, it might have only produced a temporary grief at the near loss of a friend; but to me, who was almost alone in the world, the loss was heavy in the extreme. Whom had I to fly to for solace?—there were Timothy and Fleta—one who performed the duty of a servant to me and a child. I felt that they were not sufficient, and my heart was chilled.
The surgeon had, in the mean time, returned to the major, and dressed the wound. The major, who had recovered from his weakness, asked him his candid opinion. “We must hope for the best, sir,” replied the surgeon.
“That is to say, there is no hope,” replied the major; “and I feel that you are right. How long do you think that I may live?”
“If the wound does not take a favourable turn, about forty-eight hours, sir,” replied the surgeon: “but we must hope for a more fortunate issue.”
“In a death-bed case you medical men are like lawyers,” replied the major, “there is no getting a straightforward answer from you. Where is Mr Newland?”
“Here I am, Carbonnell,” said I, taking his hand.
“My dear fellow, I know it is all over with me, and you, of course, know it as well as I do. Do not think that it is a source of much regret to me to leave this rascally world—indeed it is not; but I do feel sorry, very sorry, to leave you. The doctor tells me I shall live forty-eight hours; but I have an idea that I shall not live so many minutes. I feel my strength gradually failing me. Depend upon it, my dear Newland, there is an internal haemorrhage. My dear fellow, I shall not be able to speak soon. I have left you my executor and sole heir. I wish there was more for you—it will last you, however, till you come of age. That was a lucky hit last night, but a very unlucky one this morning. Bury me like a gentleman.”
“My dear Carbonnell,” said I, “would you not like to see somebody—a clergyman?”
“Newland, excuse me. I do not refuse it out of disrespect, or because I do not believe in the tenets of Christianity; but I cannot believe that my repentance at this late hour can be of any avail. If I have not been sorry for the life I have lived—if I have not had my moments of remorse—if I have not promised to amend, and intended to have so done, and I trust I have—what avails my repentance now? No, no, Japhet, as I have sown so must I reap, and trust to the mercy of Heaven. God only knows all our hearts; and I would fain believe that I may find more favour in the eyes of the Almighty, than I have in this world from those who—but we must not judge. Give me to drink. Japhet—I am sinking fast. God bless you, my dear fellow.”
The major sank on his pillow, after he had moistened his lips, and spoke no more. With his hand clasped in mine he gradually sank, and in a quarter of an hour his eyes were fixed, and all was over. He was right in his conjectures—an artery had been divided, and he had bled to death. The surgeon came again just before he was dead, for I had sent for him. “It is better as it is,” said he to me. “Had he not bled to death, he would have suffered forty eight hours of extreme agony from the mortification which must have ensued.” He closed the major’s eyes and took his leave, and I hastened into the drawing-room and sent for Timothy, with whom I sate in a long conversation on this unfortunate occurrence, and my future prospects.
My grief for the death of the major was sincere; much may indeed be ascribed to habit, from our long residence and companionship; but more to the knowledge that the major, with all his faults, had redeeming qualities, and that the world had driven him to become what he had been. I had the further conviction, that he was attached to me, and, in my situation, anything like affection was most precious. His funeral was handsome, without being ostentatious, and I paid every demand upon him which I knew to be just—many, indeed, that were not sent in, from a supposition that any claim made would be useless. His debts were not much above 200 pounds, and these debts had never been expected to be liquidated by those who had given him credit. The paper he had written, and had been witnessed by Timothy and another, was a short will, in which he left me his sole heir and executor. The whole of his property consisted of his house in Saint James’s Street, the contents of his pocket-book intrusted to my care, and his personal effects, which, especially in bijouterie, were valuable. The house was worth about 4000 pounds, as he had told me. In his pocket-book were notes to the amount of 3500 pounds, and his other effects might be valued at 400 pounds. With all his debts and funeral expenses liquidated, and with my own money, I found myself in possession of about 8000 pounds—a sum which never could have been credited, for it was generally supposed that he died worth less than nothing, having lived for a long while upon a capital of a similar value.
“I cannot but say,” observed Timothy, “but that this is very fortunate. Had the major not persuaded you to borrow money, he never would have won so large a sum. Had he lived he would have squandered it away; but just in the nick of time he is killed, and makes you his heir.”
“There is truth in your observation, Timothy; but now you must go to Mr Emmanuel, that I may pay him off. I will repay the 1000 pounds lent me by Lord Windermear into his banker’s, and then I must execute one part of the poor major’s will. He left his diamond solitaire as a memento to his lordship. Bring it to me, and I will call and present it.”
Part 2—Chapter VIII.
A Chapter full of Morality, which ends in a Jew refusing upwards of 1000 Pounds, proving the Millennium to be nearly at hand.
This conversation took place the day after the funeral, and, attired in deep mourning, I called upon his lordship, and was admitted. His lordship had sent his carriage to attend the funeral, and was also in mourning when he received me. I executed my commission, and after a long conversation with his lordship, in which I confided to him the contents of the will, and the amount of property of the deceased, I rose to take my leave.
“Excuse me, Mr Newland,” said he, “but what do you now propose to do? I confess I feel a strong interest about you, and had wished that you had come to me oftener without an invitation. I perceive that you never will. Have you no intention of following up any pursuit?”
“Yes, my lord, I intend to search after my father; and I trust that, by husbanding my unexpected resources, I shall now be able.”
“You have the credit, in the fashionable world, of possessing a large fortune.”
“That is not my fault, my lord: it is through Major Carbonnell’s mistake that the world is deceived. Still I must acknowledge myself so far participator, that I have never contradicted the report.”
“Meaning, I presume, by some good match, to reap the advantage of the supposition.”
“Not so, my lord, I assure you. People may deceive themselves, but I will not deceive them.”
“Nor undeceive them, Mr Newland?”
“Undeceive them I will not; nay, if I did make the attempt, I should not be believed. They never would believe it possible that I could have lived so long with your relative, without having had a large supply of money. They might believe that I had run through my money, but not that I never had any.”
“There is a knowledge of the world in that remark,” replied his lordship; “but I interrupted you, so proceed.”
“I mean to observe, my lord, and you, by your knowledge of my previous history, can best judge how far I am warranted in saying so, that I have as yet steered the middle course between that which is dishonest and honest. If the world deceives itself, you would say that, in strict honesty, I ought to undeceive it. So I would, my lord, if it were not for my peculiar situation; but at the same time I never will, if possible, be guilty of direct deceit; that is to say, I would not take advantage of my supposed wealth, to marry a young person of large fortune. I would state myself a beggar, and gain her affections as a beggar. A woman can have little confidence in a man who deceives her before marriage.”
“Your secret will always be safe with me, Mr Newland; you have a right to demand it. I am glad to hear the sentiments which you have expressed; they are not founded, perhaps, upon the strictest code of morality; but there are many who profess more who do not act up to so much. Still, I wish you would think in what way I may be able to serve you, for your life at present is useless and unprofitable, and may tend to warp still more, ideas which are not quite so strict as they ought to be.”
“My lord, I have but one object in allowing the world to continue in their error relative to my means, which is, that it procures for me an entrance into that society in which I have a moral conviction that I shall find my father. I have but one pursuit, one end to attain, which is, to succeed in that search. I return you a thousand thanks for your kind expressions and good will; but I cannot, at present, avail myself of them. I beg your lordship’s pardon, but did you ever meet the lady with the ear-rings?”
Lord Windermear smiled. “Really, Mr Newland, you are a very strange person; not content with finding out your own parents, you must also be searching after other people’s; not that I do not commend your conduct in this instance; but I’m afraid, in running after shadows, you are too indifferent to the substance.”
“Ah, my lord! it is very well for you to argue who have had a father and mother, and never felt the want of them; but if you knew how my heart yearns after my parents, you would not be surprised at my perseverance.”
“I am surprised at nothing in this world, Mr Newland; everyone pursues happiness in his own way; your happiness appears to be centred in one feeling, and you are only acting as the world does in general; but recollect that the search after happiness ends in disappointment.”
“I grant it but too often does, my lord; but there is pleasure in the chase,” replied I.
“Well, go, and may you prosper. All I can say is this, Mr Newland; do not have that false pride not to apply to me when you need assistance. Recollect, it is much better to be under an obligation, if such you will consider it, than to do that which is wrong; and that it is a very false pride which would blush to accept a favour, and yet not blush to do what it ought to be ashamed of. Promise me, Mr Newland, that upon any reverse or exigence, you will apply to me.”
“I candidly acknowledge to your lordship, that I would rather be under an obligation to anyone but you; and I trust you will clearly appreciate my feelings. I have taken the liberty of refunding the one thousand pounds you were so kind as to place at my disposal as a loan. At the same time I will promise, that, if at any time I should require your assistance, I will again request leave to become your debtor.” I rose again to depart.
“Farewell, Newland; when I thought you had behaved ill, and I offered to better you, you only demanded my good opinion; you have it, and have it so firmly, that it will not easily be shaken.” His lordship then shook hands with me, and I took my leave.
On my return I found Emmanuel, the money-lender, who had accompanied Timothy, fancying that I was in want of more assistance, and but too willing to give it. His surprise was very great when I told him that I wished to repay the money I had borrowed.
“Vell, dis is very strange! I have lent my monish a tousand times, and never once they did offer it me back. Vell, I will take it, sar.”
“But how much must I give you, Mr Emmanuel, for the ten days’ loan?”
“How moch—vy you remember, you vill give de bond money—de fifteen hundred.”
“What! five hundred pounds interest for ten days, Mr Emmanuel; no, no, that’s rather too bad. I will, if you please, pay you back eleven hundred pounds, and that I think is very handsome.”
“I don’t want my monish, my good sar. I lend you one tousand pounds, on de condition that you pay me fifteen hundred when you come into your properties, which will be in very short time. You send for me, and tell me you vish to pay back de monish directly; I never refuse monish—if you wish to pay, I will take, but I will not take von farding less dan de monish on de bond.”
“Very well, Mr Emmanuel, just as you please; I offer you your money back, in presence of my servant, and one hundred pounds for the loan of it for ten days. Refuse it if you choose, but I earnestly recommend you to take it.”
“I will not have de monish, sar; dis is de child’s play,” replied the Jew. “I must have my fifteen hundred—all in goot time, sar—I am in no hurry—I vish you a very good morning, Mr Newland. Ven you vish for more monish to borrow, I shall be happy to pay my respects.” So saying, the Jew walked out of the room, with his arm behind his back as usual.