Scene 3.
Overseer's wife. Jeppe. The others.
(Wife comes in and kisses him on the hand.)
Jeppe—Are you the overseer's wife?
Woman—Yes, I am, gracious lord.
Jeppe (pats her on the cheek)—You are real nice. Won't you sit down at the table with me?
Woman—My lord has only to command; I am at his service.
Jeppe (to the overseer)—Will you let your wife eat with me?
Overseer—I thank your lordship that you do me the honor.
Jeppe—See here, place a chair for her, she shall sit at the table with me.
(She seats herself at the table, eats and drinks with him; he becomes jealous of the secretary and whenever he looks at him, the secretary immediately looks the other way. He sings an old-fashioned love song while they are sitting at the table. Jeppe orders the musicians to play a polka and dances with her, but falls three times from drunkenness, and the fourth time he remains lying and falls asleep.)
Scene 4.
The Baron. The others.
Baron (who has hitherto played the part of secretary)—He sleeps soundly already. Now the game is ours; but we came near being fooled ourselves, for he was bound to tyrrannize over us, whereupon we either had to spoil the joke, or allow ourselves to be maltreated by that rude peasant, from whose conduct one may learn how tyrannical and proud such people may become who through some accident or other achieve honor or position. My disguising myself as a secretary came near being my misfortune, for if I had allowed him to strike me it might have become a pretty serious affair and have made me no less than the peasant, an object of ridicule. We had better let him sleep a little now before we put him back in his filthy peasant clothes.
Erik—Ah, my lord, he sleeps as sound as a stone. See here! I can pound him without his feeling it.
Baron—Take him away, then, and complete the comedy.
(Curtain.)
ACT IV.
Scene 1.
Jeppe (represented lying on a dung heap in his old peasant clothes, awakes and cries:)—Hey, secretary! Valets! Lackeys! One more glass of canaille sack! (Looks around and rubs his eyes, blinks as before, feels of his head, looks at his old wide brimmed hat, turns the hat around on all sides, looks at his clothes, recognizes himself, begins to speak.) How long was Abraham in Paradise? Now I recognize to my sorrow, everything, my bed, my coat, my old hat, myself; this is something else, Jeppe, than drinking canaille sack from golden goblets and sitting at table with lackeys and secretaries at one's command. Good luck never lasts very long. Ah! Ah! to think that I who was such a gracious lord only a short time ago should see myself in such a condition now; my splendid bed changed to a dungheap, my gold embroidered cap to an old, wornout hat, my lackeys to swine, and myself from a gracious lord to a miserable peasant. I expected when I woke up to find my fingers bedecked with rings, but they are (to speak reverently) bedecked with something else. I expected to call my servants to account, but now I must myself offer my own back for punishment when I come home and give an account of myself. I thought when I woke to reach for a glass of sack, but got instead something quite different. Ah! Ah! Jeppe, that stay in Paradise was but short and your happiness soon came to an end. But who knows if the same thing could not happen to me again if I lay down to rest once more? Ah! ah! if it would only come to me again! Ah! if I could only get back to Paradise. (Lies down to sleep again.)
Scene 2.
Jeppe. Nille.
Nille—I wonder if something has happened to him? What can this mean? Either the devil has taken him or (what I am more afraid of) he is sitting in an inn and drinking up the money. I was a fool when I trusted that drunkard with twelve pence at one time. But what do I see? Does he not lie there in the filth snoring? Ah! poor me, who must have such a beast of a husband! Your back shall pay dearly enough for this.
(Steals over to him and gives him a whack from Master Erik on the back.)
Jeppe—Hey! Hey! Help! Help! What is that? Where am I? Who am I? Who hits me? Why do you hit me? Hey!
Nille—I shall soon teach you what it is. (Strikes him again and pulls him around by the hair.)
Jeppe—Ah, Nille, my dear! Don't strike me any more, you don't know what has happened to me.
Nille—Where have you been so long, you drunken dog? Where is the soap you were to buy?
Jeppe—I could not get to town, Nille.
Nille—Why could you not get to town?
Jeppe—I was taken up to Paradise on the way.
Nille—To Paradise! (Strikes him.) To Paradise! (Strikes him again.) To Paradise! (Strikes him again.) Are you going to make fun of me besides?
Jeppe—Ow! Ow! Ow! As sure as I am an honest man it is not true.
Nille—What is true?
Jeppe—That I have been in Paradise.
(Nille repeats, "In Paradise," and strikes him again.)
Jeppe—Ah, Nille, my dear, don't hit me any more.
Nille—Quick! Confess where you have been or I will murder you!
Jeppe—Ah, I would gladly confess where I have been if you would not strike me any more.
Nille—Confess, then!
Jeppe—Swear that you will not strike me any more, then.
Nille—No.
Jeppe—As true as I am an honest man and my name is Jeppe on the Hill, I have been in Paradise and seen things that will make you wonder when you hear them.
(Nille thrashes him again and drags him in by the hair.)
NILLE POUNDING JEPPE.
Scene 3.
Nille (alone)—There, you drunken beast! Sleep till you get sober, then we shall talk further about this matter. Such swine as you are don't get into Paradise. Only think how that beast has drunk his senses away! But if he has been enjoying himself at my expense then he shall certainly suffer for it. For two days he shall get neither food nor drink. Before that time has passed he will get over his notions of Paradise.
Scene 4.
Three armed men. Nille.
First Soldier—Is there a man living here by the name of Jeppe?
Nille—Yes, there is.
Soldiers—Are you his wife?
Nille—Yes, I am sorry to say. God help me!
Soldiers—We must see him.
Nille—He is quite drunk.
Soldiers—That makes no difference, away! Bring him out, or the whole house will get into trouble.
(Nille goes in, kicks Jeppe out with such force that he knocks down all three men.)
Scene 5.
Three armed men. Jeppe.
Jeppe—Ah! Ah! Now you see, my good fellows, what kind of wife I have to live with.
Soldiers—You don't deserve any other treatment, for you are a felon. (They take Jeppe away.)
Jeppe—What harm have I done?
Soldiers—You shall find that out soon enough when the court is held. (They bind him.)
Scene 6.
Two lawyers. The judge. Jeppe.
(The judge comes in with an attendant and seats himself by a table, while Jeppe is tied by the hands and brought before the court. One of the lawyers steps forward and makes his charge thus:)
First Lawyer—Here is a man, your honor, who, we can testify, has stolen into the Baron's house, pretended he was the Baron, put on his clothes, tyrannized over his servants, which, since it is an outrageous act, we insist, on behalf of our client that it should be punished severely, so that other criminals may take warning from him.
Judge—Are you guilty of the offence which is charged against you? Speak up. What have you to say in your own defence, for we do not wish to judge until we hear both sides?
Jeppe—Ah, my poor soul! What shall I say? I admit that I have deserved punishment, but only for the money which I drank up and which I was to have bought soap with; I confess, also, that I have lately been at a castle, but how I got there and how I got away from there, I do not know.
Plaintiff (First Lawyer)—Your honor hears from his own confession that he has drunk to excess, and in his intoxication committed such an unheard-of misdemeanor. And it now only remains to determine whether such a serious crime can be excused on the ground of drunkenness. I say no! Since if that is the case, no crime would be punished. Everyone would be seeking some such excuse and say that it was done in drunkenness; and even if he can prove himself to have been drunk, his case will not thereby be improved; for it is a rule in law that what a man does in drunkenness he shall be held responsible for when he becomes sober.
Defendant (Second Lawyer)—Your honor! This matter appears so strange to me that I can hardly believe it, even if there were more witnesses. How could a guileless peasant steal in upon his lordship's estate, and assume his position, without being able to assume his face or his form! How could he come into my lord's sleeping-chamber? How could he get to his wardrobe without some one seeing him? No, your honor, one can see that it is a conspiracy hatched up by the poor man's enemies. I hope, therefore, that he will be acquitted.
Jeppe (weeping)—Ah! God bless your lips! I have a plug of tobacco in my pocket, if you would like some; it is good enough for any honest man.
Second Lawyer—No thanks, keep your tobacco, Jeppe. I am defending you not for money or gifts but only from a sense of Christian charity.
Jeppe—I beg your pardon, Mr. Lawyer, I had not thought that lawyers were so honest!
First Lawyer—That which my colleague adduces for the acquittal of this felon is based entirely on guess work. The question in this case is not whether it is probable that such a thing could occur, for it has already been proved, by witnesses as well as by his own confession, that it did occur.
Second Lawyer—What a man confesses through fear and intimidation cannot be considered in law. I ask, therefore, that this poor man be given time for reflection, and that he be asked the same questions once more. Listen, Jeppe, mind now what you say. Do you confess that of which you are accused?
Jeppe—No! I make my oath that everything which I have said before is a lie; for I have not been out of my house for three days!
First Lawyer—Your honor, I am firmly of the opinion that anyone who has first been proved guilty by witnesses, and later has confessed his own misdeeds should not be permitted to make a sworn statement.
Second Lawyer—I say yes,—
First Lawyer—I say no!
Second Lawyer—When the case is of such a peculiar nature.
First Lawyer—No circumstances can prevail against witnesses and the defendant's own confession.
Jeppe (aside)—Ah, if they could only get into a scrap with each other! In the meantime I should get hold of the judge and pound him, so he would forget both law and justice.
Second Lawyer—But listen, Herr Colleague! Although he confesses the deed, he has not deserved punishment; for he has committed no crime on the estate, neither murder nor robbery.
First Lawyer—That makes no difference; intentio furandi is the same as furtum.
Jeppe—Talk Danish, you dirty dog! Then we'll be able to defend ourselves all right.
First Lawyer—For whether it is found that a person intends to steal, or does steal, he is a thief.
Jeppe—Ah, my gracious judge, I should gladly be hanged, if that lawyer could be hanged at my side.
Second Lawyer—Don't talk that way, Jeppe, you only injure your own cause by it.
Jeppe—Why don't you answer, then? (Aside.) He stands there like a dumb fool.
Second Lawyer—But how do you prove furandi propositum?
First Lawyer—Quicumque in aedes alienas noctu irrumpit, tanquam fur aut nocturnus grassator existimandus est, atqui reus hic ita, ergo.
Second Lawyer—Nego majorem, qvod scilicit irruperit.
First Lawyer—Res manifesta est, tot legitimis testibus exstantibus, ac confitenti reo.
Second Lawyer—Quicumque vi vel metu coactus fuerit confiteri—
First Lawyer—But where is that vis? Where is that metus? That is but chicanery.
Second Lawyer—No, you are using chicane.
First Lawyer—No honest man shall accuse me of such a thing.
(The lawyers grapple, and Jeppe runs over and pulls the wig off the first lawyer and strikes him on the head with it.)
Judge—Order in the courtroom! Stop, I have heard enough! (Reads his verdict:) Whereas Jeppe on the Hill, son of Niels on the Hill, and grandson of Jeppe from the same place, is proved by legal witnesses as well as by his own confession to have surreptitiously entered the Baron's castle, put on his clothes, and maltreated his servants, he is condemned to die by poison, and when he is dead his body shall be hanged on the gallows.
Jeppe—Ah! Ah! Gracious judge! Is there no pardon?
Judge—None. The sentence shall be executed immediately in my presence.
Jeppe—Ah! Won't you give me a glass of whiskey before I drink the poison so that I can die like a soldier?
Judge—Yes, that is permitted.
Jeppe (drinks three glasses of whiskey, falls on his knees and asks:)—Is there then no pardon?
Judge—No, Jeppe! It is too late now.
Jeppe—Ah! But it isn't too late! The judge can surely change the sentence, and say that it was all wrong the first time. Why, that happens often, for we are all human.
Judge—No, you shall feel yourself in a few minutes that it is too late; for you have already taken the poison in the whiskey.
Jeppe—Ah, poor me! Have I already taken the poison? Ah, goodbye, Nille! Still, you fiend, you don't deserve to have me bid you farewell; goodbye Jens, Niels and Christoffer! Goodbye, my daughter Martha; goodbye, the apple of my eye! You have your father's face; we look as much alike as two drops of water. Goodbye, my dappled horse, and thanks for every time I have ridden on you; next to my own children I have loved no beast as much as you. Goodbye, Fairfax! My faithful dog and watch; goodbye Mo'ns, my black cat! Goodbye, my oxen, my sheep, my hogs, and thanks for good company and for every day I have known you. Goodbye—Ah! Now I can say nothing more, I am so weak and helpless.
(Falls over and remains lying.)
Judge—It works well; the drugged liquor has already done its work; he sleeps like a stone. Now hang him up; but see to it that he receives no injury from it, and that the rope comes only under his arms. Now we shall see how he acts when he awakes and finds himself hanging aloft.
ACT V.
Scene 1.
Nille. Jeppe. Judge.
(Jeppe is represented hanging on a gallows.)
Nille (tears her hair, beats her breast, and cries)—Oh! Oh! Is it possible that I shall see my husband hanging on a gallows! Ah, my dearest husband! Forgive me if I have ever done anything to harm you. Oh, oh! Now my conscience awakes; now I am sorry, but too late, that I have treated you so mean; now I begin to miss you, now I can see what an excellent husband I have lost! Oh! Oh, if I could only bring you back from death, even at the cost of my own life and blood.
(Wipes her eyes and weeps bitterly. In the meantime the effects of the sleep-producing drink have worn off, and Jeppe wakes and sees himself hanging on a gallows with his hands tied behind his back; he hears his wife sobbing and speaks to her.)
Jeppe—Don't feel bad, my darling wife! We must all go this way sometime. Go home and take care of the house and look after my children. My red coat can be made over for little Christian, and what is left Martha may have for a cap. But, before all else, see to it that my dappled horse is well taken care of, for I loved that beast as if he was my own brother. If I wasn't dead I'd tell you a number of other things.
Nille—Oh—Oh—Oh—What is that? What do I hear? Can a dead man speak?
Jeppe—Do not fear, Nille; I won't hurt you.
Nille—Ah, my dearest husband, how can you speak when you are dead?
Jeppe—I don't know how it is myself. But listen, dear wife. Run like a streak and bring me eight pence worth of whiskey, for I am more thirsty now than when I was alive.
Nille—Fie! You beast! You rascal! You old sot! Didn't you drink whiskey enough while you were alive? Are you still thirsty, you dog, now that you are dead? You're what I call a regular hog!
Jeppe—Hold your tongue, you scold, and fetch the whiskey. If you don't do that I'll be hanged if I won't haunt the house every night. You must know that I'm not afraid of Master Erik any more, for I don't feel thrashings now. (Nille runs to the house after Master Erik, returns and thrashes him on the gallows.) Ou—Ou—Ouch! Stop, Nille! Stop! You might kill me again, Ou—Ou—Ouch!
Judge (interferes)—Look here, woman, you must not strike him any more. Be content; we will, for your sake, forgive your husband his offense, and sentence him to life again.
Nille—Ah, no, gracious lord! Just let him hang, for he is not worth the trouble.
Judge—Fie! You are a wicked woman! Get out of here quickly or we shall hang you up beside him. (Nille runs out.)
Scene 2.
Jeppe. The Court.
(Jeppe is being taken down from the gallows.)
Jeppe—Ah, your honor! Is it certain that I am quite alive again or am I a ghost?
Judge—You are quite alive; for the court which can sentence you to death can also sentence you to life. Can't you understand that?
Jeppe—No, I don't understand it, but I believe I am still a ghost.
Judge—Ah, you fool! That is easy to see. He who takes a thing from you can certainly give it back to you.
Jeppe—May I then try to hang the judge, just for fun, and see if I can sentence him to life again later?
Judge—No, that won't do; for you are no judge.
Jeppe—But am I then alive again?
Judge—Yes, you are.
Jeppe—So that I'm not a ghost?
Judge—Certainly not!
Jeppe—Nor a spirit?
Judge—No.
Jeppe—Am I then the same Jeppe on the Hill that I was before?
Judge—To be sure!
Jeppe—And not a spectre?
Judge—No, of course not.
Jeppe—Will you swear that it is true?
Judge—I swear that you are alive.
Jeppe—Will you cross your heart and hope to die if it isn't true?
Judge—You should believe what we say without question, and thank us that we have been so merciful as to sentence you to life again.
Jeppe—If you had not hanged me yourselves, I should have been glad to thank you for taking me down again.
Judge—Be content, Jeppe, and let us know when your wife beats you again, and we shall look into the matter. See, here are four Rixdollars, which you can have a good time with for awhile, and don't forget to drink our health.
(Jeppe kisses his hand and thanks him. The judge goes away.)
Scene 3.
Jeppe (alone)—Here I have lived for fifty years, and in all that time I have not gone through as much as in these two days. This is certainly a queer story, when I stop to think of it; one hour a drunken peasant, another hour baron, a third hour peasant again; now dead, now alive on a gallows,—which is the funniest of it all; maybe when live people get hanged they die, and when dead people get hanged they come to life again. I guess that a drink of whiskey would taste fine on this. Hey! Jakob Skomager, come out!
Scene 4.
Jakob Skomager. Jeppe.
Jakob—Welcome back from town! Did you get the soap for your wife?
Jeppe—Ay, you rascal, you must know what kind of people you are talking to! Off with your cap! for you are but an idiot compared to a fellow like me.
Jakob—I'd not stand such words from anyone else, Jeppe. But since you give my house a daily penny, I won't be too particular.
Jeppe—Off with your cap, you rascal!
Jakob—What has happened to you on the way, that you've got the big head?
Jeppe—You must know that I have been hanged since I spoke with you last.
Jakob—That is not so much to feel proud about. I don't envy you a bit. But listen, Jeppe, "where you have drunk your beer there you should show your spleen!" You become drunk at other places, but come into my house just to make a disturbance.
Jeppe—Quick, off with your cap, you rascal! Don't you hear that jingling in my pocket?
Jakob (with his hat under his arm)—Whew! Where did you get that money?
Jeppe—From my barony, Jakob. I'll tell you what has happened to me, but give me a glass of mead first; for I am too proud to drink Danish whiskey.
Jakob—Your health, Jeppe.
Jeppe—Now I shall tell you what has happened to me. When I left you I fell asleep; when I woke up again I was a baron, and got drunk again on canaille sack; when I got drunk of sack, I woke up on a dung-heap; when I woke up on the dung-heap, I lay down to sleep again, hoping that I would again become a baron, but I found that it doesn't always go like that; for my wife woke me up with Master Erik and dragged me in by the hair without having the least respect for such a man as I had been. When I came into the room I was kicked out head first, and saw myself surrounded by a lot of shysters, who sentenced me to death and killed me with poison; after I had been hanged I came to life again and got four Rixdollars. This is the whole story; but how such a thing could happen, I will let you imagine.
Jakob—Ha! Ha! Ha! It's a dream, Jeppe.
Jeppe—If I didn't have these four Rixdollars I'd think it was a dream, too. Give me another, Jakob, I'll not think more of that foolishness but have another good drink.
Jakob—Your health, Baron. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Jeppe—Perhaps you can't understand this, Jakob?
Jakob—Not if I stood on my head.
Jeppe—It might be true anyway, Jakob, for you are a dunce, and don't understand such things.
Scene 5.
Magnus. Jeppe. Jakob.
Magnus—Ha! Ha! Ha! I'll tell you a confounded story about a man called Jeppe on the Hill, who was found drunk and sleeping in the field,—his clothes were changed, and he was laid in the best bed on the estate. He was made to believe that he was the Baron, then they made him drunk again, and put him back on the dung-heap. When he woke up, he imagined that he had been in paradise. I laughed till I almost died when I heard that story from the overseer's men. I would give a Rixdollar if I could get a chance to see the fool. Ha, ha, ha!
Jeppe—How much do I owe, Jakob?
Jakob—Twelve pence.
(Jeppe wipes his mouth and goes away very much ashamed.)
Magnus—Why did that man leave so suddenly?
Jakob—That is the very person on whom the trick was played.
Magnus—Is it possible? Then I must hurry after him. Hold on, Jeppe! One word more. How is everything getting along in the other world?
Jeppe—Let me go in peace.
Magnus—Why didn't you stay there longer?
Jeppe—Is that any of your business?
Magnus—Ay, tell us something about your journey.
Jeppe—Let me go, I tell you; or I shall do something to you.
Magnus—Ay, Jeppe, I am so anxious to find out something about it.
Jeppe—Jakob Skomager! Help! Will you let people be attacked in your house?
Magnus—I am doing you no harm, Jeppe. I only ask what you saw in the other world.
Jeppe—Hey! Help! Help!
Magnus—Did you see any of my ancestors there?
Jeppe—No, your ancestors must be in the other place, where I hope you and other rascals will go when you die. (Struggles with Magnus and gets away.)
Scene 6.
Baron. His secretary. Valet. Two lackeys.
Baron—Ha, ha, ha! That joke is worth a good deal; I had not thought that it would have had such good effect. If you can amuse me as well again, Erik, you shall stand very high in my regard.
Erik—No, gracious lord, I dare not risk such comedy again; for if he had struck my lord, as he threatened to do, there might have been a terrible tragedy.
Baron—That is, by my faith, true enough. I myself feared it somewhat, but I was so interested in the outcome that I would rather have allowed myself to be struck,—yes, I believe I would rather have allowed myself to be hanged by him, Erik, than to have given the story away. You were probably of the same mind.
Erik—No, my lord! It would be rather strange to allow one's self to be hanged in jest, for that pleasure would be too costly.
Baron—Ay! Such things happen every day. If not in that manner, then in some other, do people lose their lives through some jest. For example, if a man has a weak will and knows that he is likely to lose both life and health from too much drink, still he is likely to overtask his strength and risk both for the sake of an evening's pleasure. I am convinced, Erik, that it would have been better if you had allowed yourself to be hanged rather than to have spoiled such a splendid comedy.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES:
Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
Inconsistencies in spelling, hyphenation, and punctuation have been retained from the original.