Jewels and the woman: The romance, magic and art of feminine adornment

It is indeed a gift, not shared by all, to be able to select a truly appropriate present, one that fits the occasion, the recipient and the donor. Without this threefold accord, something will seem lacking in even the most expensive bestowal.

Give Yourself

Americans have long recognized the complex ties of sentiment that should come together in the neat bowknot of a gift. Emerson devoted an essay to the subject, making the point that the best gift is one that includes a part of oneself. Lowell, in his great poem The Vision of Sir Launfal, compresses the same idea into a trenchant line: “The gift without the giver is bare.” We are not all—like grandmother, each of whose six grandchildren received a linen table set embroidered by her own hands—able to create our presents; but we can all choose thoughtfully, so that to the gift clings some savor of our personality.

Nothing is more disappointing—even to those who expected nothing—than to receive a box of candy evidently picked up at the corner store, or a bottle of quick-bought wine or whisky. If the wine is of a rare vintage, the gift shows taste in the donor and respect for the recipient; but other considerations should be weighed too.

Gifts of Lasting Value

Obviously, a gift quickly consumed and soon forgotten is less prized than one that provides a lengthy or a permanent memento of the occasion. A good wrist watch, appropriately engraved, may cost no more than a case of whisky; instead of the bottle of perfume there might be a memorable charm. Such gifts are evidence of thoughtfulness and warm affection; they are not transitory; they abide.

Most occasions for bestowing presents are heart-entangled; a gift is a sign of a sentimental attachment. Some such occasions are touched upon in other parts of this book; here the emphasis is more practical, indicating the lines along which proper choice should be made. But whatever sort of gift is suggested for any particular occasion, it is still the donor’s concern to show that this is not just a routine purchase, but one that has been made with affectionate care.

Gifts to the Baby

As I have already pointed out, the etiquette of jewelry begins with the newborn babe. The little charms may be heart-shaped, or a tiny hand of coral. There may be a small string of turquoises as a bracelet, long believed sure to keep the infant from falling. One of the gifts a child will come to prize more and more as the years go by is a little necklace of pearls—to which at each birthday another choice pearl or two are added, until the budding young woman has a beautiful string.

To the Mother Too

Among European aristocratic families it is the pleasant practice to present a gift to the mother, as well as to the newborn child. The husband can express his joy no more satisfactorily than by a precious jewel. This might be of pearls or diamonds, to be added to on subsequent birthdays.

In royal houses, especially on the birth of the first male, elaborate gifts were showered on the mother not only by the family, but by the people, the state, and other royal houses. Outstandingly luxurious are some of the jewels created by Fabergé for the lavish Czars of Russia to present at the time of a noble birth.

As the Child Grows

Birthdays for the growing girl or boy are likely, in the earlier years, to include many books and toys; but, for the girl, earclips, lockets, charms, and brooches may be given, including if possible the appropriate birthstone.

Graduation from high school may be fitly marked by a gold pin or a watch; often the school has its seal available on a gold ring or pin. And in the fall, if the young lady goes on to college, a small pin or clip with her initials in gold is an appropriate and traditional gift.

St. Valentine’s Day

Perhaps the casual or humorous Valentine is to be replaced by more serious sentiments, and more memorable gifts. Dress clips, earclips, money clips, and tie clips are all appropriate in the shape of a heart.

A heart-shaped locket may open, to set a picture inside. Gems are cut heart-shape: the topaz, the amethyst, the diamond. These gems may be set in a ring, or the ring itself may bear a heart of precious metal. But remember the warning in the chapter on rings: the ring is a jewel of binding symbol, and should be given or exchanged only when the tie is truly close.

College Days

Certain occasions in college dictate not only their own jewels but the manner of their presentation. A sorority or fraternity pin may be designed with different varieties or qualities of gem, but in all likelihood there will be one type, and one formal occasion on which it is conferred upon the happy initiate. Similarly, the Phi Beta Kappa key and the insignia of other honorary societies are prescribed by tradition and won by merit.

When a young man and a young woman exchange such pins, however, time is approaching for the lasting ties. Gift-giving is one of the pleasures of courtship. On many a night a corsage or a box of bonbons is quite in place; but more significant, and a richer testimony to one’s love, are the twin friendship rings, or the farther-progressed lovers’ knots which can be found in earclips, rings, and brooches.

The Wedding Day

The engagement ring marks the promise, the wedding ring marks the fulfilment. But the wedding ring is a symbol upon which the ages have set their approving stamp; it is not a gift. Some special token of the groom’s appreciation and love should warm the heart of the bride. Tradition suggests a necklace, which in its way is also a binding symbol. What it is made of depends wholly on the groom. It may be a plain gold band, or a golden series of little leaves, or of orange blossoms. It may be of pearls with a diamond clasp; it may be all of diamonds.

Whatever the material of the necklace, it should be of a fashion appropriate for a maid; nothing heavy, nothing with an air of sophistication; something of almost fragile grace, suggesting youth and simple feminine charm.

For the Bridesmaids

The matron of honor and the bridesmaids should receive their gifts from the bride at a luncheon or other occasion, such as the rehearsal, as close as possible to the ceremony. She will by that time know what they are wearing and fit her gifts to their gowns. Among appropriate gifts are gold charm bracelets, disks, cigarette boxes, powder compacts, lipstick holders, and the like. These should be engraved with the date of the wedding, the name of the happy couple, and a memorable phrase. If the jewels are such as have no proper space for engraving, the box that contains the jewel should be embossed with the initials or name of the couple, and the appropriate words.

For the Ushers

The groom in similar fashion, and with the same engraving, makes his gifts to the best man and the ushers. In gold, he may choose tie pins and clips, cuff links, money clips, key chains, toothpicks. Pencils and fountain pens are appropriate, or silver letter-openers, with the box or the article bearing the signs of the occasion.

Other Gifts to the Bride

In addition to any more substantial contribution to the hopes and happiness of the newlyweds, the parents of the groom should give their daughter-in-law-elect a gift that she will wear on her wedding day. This will usually take the form of a brooch or clip. A flower design is always appropriate; more playfully accordant is a clip of a four-leaf clover or of bells, in diamonds.

Perhaps the most touching among the wedding gifts is that which comes to the bride from the grandmother. In many cases, it will be a jewel that grandmother wore on her own wedding day; it is thus not only a precious but a tender link that helps bind the family through the generations.

Parents’ Days

When time comes around for Mother’s Day, then Father’s Day, we realize that all through the year our parents’ love reaches out to us and deserves our grateful thoughts. Every day is a day to honor one’s parents. They have shown us that love is the one gift one need not earn. “Home,” says the poet, “is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

But on the special day set aside for Mother, children may combine to give her a bracelet on which charms commemorate happy family times, or list the names of children, grandchildren, and—if the years are generous—great-grandchildren. A tree of life, a family tree, or various brooches, make excellent gifts.

Gifts for Father are likely to be simpler. Gold cuff links suggest themselves, shaped in his initials. A gold pencil or pen, a key ring, or—if it does not seem too much like a hint!—a money clip, may all be appropriately inscribed, as a tribute to the person commonly called the head of the family.

For Later Birthdays

Birthday presents become more complicated, and longer cherished, after childhood. The older one grows—in spite of the jesting about beginning to count backwards—the more one should have absorbed of the wisdom of life, and the more endeared one should be to friends and family.

For one’s wife, one may add a tender touch to a bracelet or other jewel, by a secret message others will not guess. Thus the first letters of four stones set in this order—diamond, emerald, amethyst, ruby—spell Dear. One can form an alphabet of stones from which many hidden messages can be conveyed to the loved one alone.

For a man, a beautiful birthday gift is a ring with a star ruby, a star sapphire, or a cat’s-eye, set in simple heavy metal, gold, platinum or palladium. A plain gold signet ring is in good taste, or one with initials sculptured of the metal.

Remember, in buying a ring for a man, that it should be solid; for a big man, quite a heavy band. A man pays little attention to his jewelry, once he has put it on, and gives it the hardest wear. He keeps on his ring, for example, while driving his car, swinging through a round of golf, even performing a quick repair job in the house or working through some “do it yourself” mechanics.

Gifts For the Man

Whatever a man needs, he probably has. Most gifts to men, therefore, such as cuff links, provide them with another jewel of a kind they already possess. This should be no deterrent, however, for what a man prizes is less the gift itself than the feeling that inspired it.

I will venture the suggestion that man is the sentimental sex. If there is evidence of thoughtfulness behind the gift, he will doubly cherish it. Those cuff links, for example, can be chosen in a pattern that suggests one of his special interests or brings memories of some incident shared only by his wife.

The Wife’s Role

Every business and professional man is aware of the importance of proper appearance. Many, however, do not have the time a woman has to shop and weigh and consider. Some, indeed, would not think it becoming in a man to spend much time seeking items for his personal embellishment. Yet he likes to be well dressed and is naturally pleased when his good taste in accessories is admired.

It is thus often the wife’s role to see that her husband is fitly equipped. No well groomed man overlooks the place of jewelry in his dress, but his choice is likely to be quick, almost slap-bang. It is a further sign of her love that the wife takes it upon herself to make meticulous choices for him. It is as important for a man to wear the right jewelry as it is to wear a clean, well-fitting shirt.

The Right Accessories

However elegant a man’s wristwatch, there is, for formal occasions, greater distinction in a thin pocket watch. With a fraternity key, a pocket watch and chain are also appropriate, or else a key ring and chain.

Tie clips and money clips may be secured in many varieties.

A superb and truly masculine pair of cuff links can be fashioned of twenty-four carat gold nuggets. Although not shiny, they have an unmistakably precious look; and, as a gift, they capture the genuineness of the feeling in the purest of gold.

The Personal Touch

A wise and thoughtful—not to say loving—woman will add a personal touch that marks the gift as something intimately shared. A few words engraved on the gift, a date significant in the two lives—it may be the anniversary of their first meeting—add a special significance that makes the gift a treasure.

Just as there may be secrets caught into a gift to a woman, as when the jewels spell out a sentiment, so a gift to a man may have its values multiplied by a hidden message. That bar on the key chain, for example: who but the two concerned know that it can open and reveal a tiny picture of the beloved? Inside the ring may be their linked initials. In many ways which will suggest themselves, according to the events in the particular couple’s life, a secret shared in the gift keeps the love twinkling.

Special Gifts

On various business and professional occasions, certain gifts have become established by long practice. A twenty-fifth or other such anniversary in business relations is appropriately marked by the gift of a gold watch. Executives leaving their company may be given gold cigarette boxes or cases.

To mark special appreciation of an employee, gold cuff links bearing the seal of the company are a frequent testimonial. A gold watch may mark his long and faithful service.

Various professions have their honors, as when a doctor is received into the association of his specialty; in such cases there are usually insignia that can be wrought into the gift.

Historic Gifts

Among givers of gifts, perhaps the nobles and the Czars of Russia have been most lavish. The painted Easter eggs of the Russians are widely known, and many amusing and artistic designs have been painted on actual eggs. But the Easter egg jewels made by Fabergé are gem-studded works of the lapidary’s art.

Czars and Emperors—Nicholas, Franz Josef—have bestowed upon persons, who caught their favor, watches initialed in diamonds. Sometimes, however, the Czar merely ordered the bestowal of the gift, leaving the details to an officer of the court. This happened after the first command performance of Chaliapin who scornfully refused the proffered watch, saying that the Czar had never sent him that! Shortly after, Chaliapin received another watch, this one with the Imperial coat-of-arms in diamonds.

For King Zog of Albania, our firm developed a jewel that has grown in popularity: a watch so thin that it is fitted inside of a hollowed coin. Those coins bore a relief of King Zog on one side, his coat-of-arms on the other; the watches were presented to high officers for supremacy in horsemanship and other contests.

The Presentation of a Gift

In the United States, where the packaging industry has achieved consummate skills, the way in which a gift is presented is particularly important. The care taken in selecting the jewel must be reflected in the container. The first thing the recipient sees is the wrapping; this must quicken the anticipation of the surprise and delight inside.

Naturally, the gift comes wrapped by the jeweler. It should be left that way. A precious jewel will be encased in a fine leather or velvet box. To this, the jeweler has given considerable thought, selecting shape, size, color, and material that will display the particular jewel to best advantage. Often, when I design a piece of jewelry, I am asked to suggest how to package it for presentation. The box, then, is a carefully chosen background for the jewel.

For an especially significant gift, it can be arranged to have the box embossed in gold with the initials or name of the person receiving it, and the date of the special occasion.

Without taking the jewel out of its wrapping and box, there are many ways in which an added personal arrangement may grace the giving. The jewelry box, for instance, may be adorned with a single rose, or a few of the lady’s favorite flowers, or flowers associated with a mutual memory. Or the florist may be asked to place the jewelry box inside the cellophane box that holds a corsage or an orchid. The flower brings its own pleasure, then multiplied by the surprise of the jewel.

The sweet tingle of surprise may also be increased by enclosing the jewelry box in a larger one, which disguises the typical shape of the gift box. If the gift is a bracelet, it might well be tucked into a glove box, along with a pair of gloves. Or the jewel may be innocently placed in a drawer of a little antique jewelry case; on opening the attractive case, behold! the attractive jewel.

At Christmas time, the box can be set upon the tree. Still more appealing would be a separate tree, such as those little artificial ones, the sole ornament of which is the box with the proffered jewel.

In the Middle Ages, when jewels were thought to have special powers to preserve health, to ward off evil, they were thus effective only when received as a gift. The gift of jewels still has a special power, beyond the intrinsic value of the gems carrying the weight of love, establishing a memento and sustaining the sentiments that build into happy lives.