(Then Caroline enters in outdoor costume; she is putting on her gloves. She comes down the steps and advances quietly to the table.)
Car. You have something to say to me?
Miss P. Yes, we have.
Car. That is fortunate, because I have something to say to you.
Pil. (Miss Pillenger makes to speak) Hannah, you will greatly oblige me by remaining silent. We wished, Cook——
Car. (near chair C.) Pardon me, Mr. Pillenger, I have no longer any claim to that title—I beg to hand in my resignation.
Pil. You contemplate leaving us?
Car. Yes. I've sent for a fly.
Miss P. Audley, since this lady objects to be referred to as Cook, I think you should address her by her name—her real name.
Car. (glancing at Miss Pillenger) I doubt if you know it.
Miss P. We are better informed than you imagine, Mrs. Crayll!
Car. Oh, that's it!
Pil. (rises) My dear madam, pray believe the—er—somewhat startling information came to us unsought. Our informant was that gentleman. (points to Crayll)
Car. What gentleman?
Dor. (to Crayll) You can stand up now. (Crayll rises and crosses down L. C., and advances a step or two. Cook turns and sees him)
Car. I see! (slight pause) Well, what has he told you?
Miss P. This gentleman came here this morning to beg us——
Car. To turn me out?
Miss P. Be that as it may, he is anxious to make an appeal to his, I fear, misguided wife.
Car. Is he indeed?
Cray. I've been tellin' 'em I want you to come back—man can't say more, can he?
Car. What else did he tell you?
Miss P. He mentioned you were a well-known woman in society—and that you had been living apart from your husband.
Car. Quite so! Was that all he said?
Pil. I think that embraced the whole of Mr. Crayll's statement. (pause)
Car. Up to a certain point he told the truth. I did marry him some years ago.
Miss P. You concealed the fact when you entered our service.
Car. It wasn't a thing I felt inclined to boast of. As he was so confidential, it seems odd he forgot to tell you we were recently divorced.
Pil. Divorced!
Miss P. Divorced!
Car. There is one other thing—I think it is only fair you should know what a distinguished individual you have been entertaining in the person of Mr. Crayll.
Cray. Keep your infernal tongue between your teeth!
Car. This gentleman——
Cray. I shan't stay here to be baited—and badgered. (going)
Dor. (advancing) You'll stay where you are!
Car. This gentleman is Lord Huntworth, I am—I was Lady Huntworth. (all convey astonishment) Last night Lord Huntworth dropped in the kitchen a letter. It was from a firm of solicitors.
Cray. (putting his hand to his breast pocket) Damn!
Car. Telling him I had inherited a large sum of money. Lord Huntworth is rather hard up just now. There is nothing unusual in the circumstance, but I mention it because it explains the reason of his generous offer to condone the past. (pause) Here is your letter; (producing it) you needn't trouble to answer it—I shall call on Messrs. Brampton and Stokes in the course of the day. (Crayll snatches the letter) I don't think we need detain you any longer, need we? (Crayll turns for hat L., snarls at Dorvaston and exits up steps; Caroline watches him off)
Pil. Is it actually the case that you are the Lady Huntworth?
Car. (turns to the Pillengers) Yes, I am the Lady Huntworth who is so widely and so very unfavourably known. (turns to Dorvaston) Would you oblige me by ringing the bell, Captain Dorvaston?
Dor. Certainly? (he does so)
Car. (again speaking to the Pillengers) If I thought there was even a chance that you could understand my doing what I have done I would try to make it clear to you, but you couldn't—I should only waste your time and my own. (Gandy enters) Gandy, has the fly come?
Gan. It 'as.
Car. Thanks! Good-bye! (she holds out her hand, he takes it respectfully) We've been good friends, haven't we?
Gan. We 'ave; servin' with you 'as bin a honour. (exit)
Car. (smiling and to the Pillengers) Mr. Pillenger—(he rises) You have done everything in your power to render my little experiment a pleasant one. I am grateful; and if your thoughts should ever turn in my direction I hope you will let your mind dwell on the excellence of my curried chicken, rather than on the supposed hopelessness of my moral character. Good-bye.
Pil. (bows sadly) Good-bye! (sits disconsolate; Cook nods to Mr. Pillenger pleasantly; then turns and gives a very stately bow to Miss Pillenger, who stiffly returns it; Cook then goes L., but pauses as she mounts the steps and speaks to Dorvaston)
Car. We have already taken leave of each other, but it has occurred to me that perhaps you might care to let me hear from you. I am leaving England for some time, but that address will find me. (gives a card to him) Poste Restante, Brussels.
Dor. Poste Restante, Brussels.
Car. Yes. Good-bye!
Dor. (with a sigh) Good-bye! (sits down on settle; she goes out)
(After she has gone Dorvaston sits pensively on the settle; there is a pause; all three sit staring at nothing; then Gandy enters with newspapers at window; he goes to Pillenger.)
Gan. (crosses to R. to Pillenger) "Standard!" (Pillenger takes it, but allows it to drop by his side; Gandy then crosses to Miss Pillenger) "Church Times!" (he then crosses to Dorvaston and hands him the other paper) "Sportin' Life!" (Pillenger and Dorvaston pick up papers and try to read; Miss Dorvaston reads, Gandy goes up two steps, then turns) 'Ow about dinner?
Pil. Eh?
Dor. What?
Gan. 'Ow about dinner?
Pil. Don't dare allude to it. (rises and sits at exit)
Dor. Get out of the room! (rises and sits at exit)
(Gandy goes out, the two men open their papers firmly and begin to read; Lucy enters at window followed nervously by Thorsby—Lucy dragging him into C.; Lucy is L. C., Thorsby R. C.)
Lucy. Good-morning, everybody!
Miss P. Good morning!
Pil. (not looking up) Good morning!
Dor. (doing the same) Good morning!
Lucy. I've brought Mr. Thorsby with me.
Miss P. Good day, Mr. Thorsby! (he bows)
Dor. (not looking round) Ah, Thorsby! (Thorsby bows)
Dor. (not looking round) How are you, Thorsby? (Thorsby bows once more)
Lucy. We've just been married.
| Miss P. | What? (all rise and throw down papers; Dorvaston immediately takes Bradshaw off mantel and sits on settle looking out trains) |
| Pil. | |
| Dor. |
Lucy. Uncle, it wasn't Harry's doing, so if you feel riled you must pitch into me. I'm responsible. Harry hated the deception all through—didn't you?
Thor. I——
Lucy. All right, don't interrupt. We started early, biked over to Ingledene Church—did the trick—rode back, and we want everybody's blessing, and a good breakfast.
Pil. As you are practically independent of my control I fear I have no power to withhold the blessing. The good breakfast may be less easily obtained.
Lucy. Why?
Pil. Cook has left us? (crosses up to desk R., kicking the papers from his feet viciously as he goes)
Lucy. Oh! I'm sorry! She got up early, and made us some coffee, (takes hat up R. C.)
Dor. Then she knew?
Lucy. Of course she did! I told her.
Miss P. She would naturally take a prominent part in any duplicity. (crossing to window; Thorsby goes up after her to make his peace)
Lucy. That's all rot. She was a real good sort—a long way better than most of us (she goes to Dorvaston) Jack, old boy!
Dor. Yes, little woman? (sitting L. looking at Bradshaw)
Lucy. You're the only one that matters. I cared for Harry—and you didn't care for me—did you? Tell me you didn't, or I shall hate myself. You'd have married me and tried to look pleasant, but it would have taken you all your time. Now, Jack, I want to hear you take your oath you don't mind.
Dor. (rises) Mind! (rings bell, returns, and takes Lucy by both hands) My dear child, you don't know what a turn you've done me by throwing me over for a better man. Mind? (crosses to Thorsby, claps him on the shoulder) My dear Thorsby, I wish you all the luck you could wish yourself—and you'll get it! A chap who could carry out a thing of this kind in such an exceptional way has all the makings of a future bishop. (Gandy enters) Pack my things at once; I must catch the 11:15 to town. (Gandy goes out)
Lucy. Going to leave us?
Dor. (crosses to Lucy) I must, little woman—but I won't forget to send you a wedding present—silver mug—no, that's later! (Lucy crosses to Thorsby U. B. To Pillenger) Good-bye, sir. (Pillenger rises, and they shake hands across the table, he then sits again) Keep your head up and your liver active.
Pil. Good-bye!
Dor. (to Miss Pillenger) Good-bye, ma'am. I mean to be quite respectable by the time we meet again. (they shake hands)
Miss P. I hope so.
Dor. (to Thorsby) Good-bye, young fellah! Give that little filly her head, and she won't want the whip. (crosses L. of Lucy and the others) Good-bye, little woman! (kisses her) God bless you! (kisses her—runs up steps)
Lucy. Good-bye, dear old boy! (leans over balustrade; he is going) You'll let us hear from you?
Dor. Yes! (runs up steps)
Lucy. Where will a letter find you?
Dor. (hastily taking out card and looking at it. Turns to her) Poste Restante, Brussels! (as he goes off the
Curtain Falls.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES
Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical errors.
Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.