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Lumber Lyrics

Chapter 16: NECESSARY GOODS
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About This Book

A collection of short prose poems and humorous sketches that celebrate the lumber trade, homebuilding, and ordinary life, often addressed to dealers and homeowners. The pieces combine colloquial wit, seasonal vignettes, practical references to wood, doors, floors and stairways, and sentimental reflections on community, work and holiday spirit. Arranged as brief standalone items, they mix advertising-friendly homily with character sketches and the author’s explanatory preface about his method and background. The tone alternates between playful mock-instruction and earnest good cheer, aiming to amuse, flatter, and inform readers connected to building and home life.

NECESSARY GOODS

So many folks are selling things we really do not need! They sell us pups and spiral springs, and patent chicken feed. A dozen times a day or more I have to drop my pen; some chap is ringing at the door, to sell a setting hen. A gent of rather seedy looks came to my shack today, to sell me fifty-seven books—the works of Bertha Clay. And one is selling china eyes, one deals in pewter spoons, and one would sell me whisker dyes, another, musty prunes.

I never waddle through the woods but some one comes along, and tries to sell me useless goods, with tiresome dance and song. I’m weary of the man who yells of jimcracks gone to seed; how stately is the man who sells the goods men really need! I watch the lumberman go past, upon his useful chores, to sell a mariner a mast, or fit a house with doors; his boards and beams, of seasoned wood, for helpful arts are made; he does our social fabric good when he builds up his trade.

There’s nothing in the lumber store superfluous or vain; you do not seek that dealer’s door fool doodads to obtain. And every time he sells a bill, improvements there will be; the coin he puts into his till helps the community. And when his goods are in demand, the better times have come, your town will flourish and expand, the wheels of commerce hum.

I’m tired of buying pumpkin trees, and postholes by the crate, and ostrich eggs, and swarms of bees, and tinhorn real estate. Hereafter I shall blow my roll for articles worth while, a peck of lime, a load of coal, a good large lumber pile.