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Lumber Lyrics

Chapter 9: ADVERTISING
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About This Book

A collection of short prose poems and humorous sketches that celebrate the lumber trade, homebuilding, and ordinary life, often addressed to dealers and homeowners. The pieces combine colloquial wit, seasonal vignettes, practical references to wood, doors, floors and stairways, and sentimental reflections on community, work and holiday spirit. Arranged as brief standalone items, they mix advertising-friendly homily with character sketches and the author’s explanatory preface about his method and background. The tone alternates between playful mock-instruction and earnest good cheer, aiming to amuse, flatter, and inform readers connected to building and home life.

ADVERTISING

Tell me not in mournful numbers, with the air of critics wise, that the retail lumber dealer’s not the one to advertise.

“Let the shoe and grindstone dealers fill the papers with their ads, let the pharmacists be spielers for their pills and liver pads; let the dry goods merchant merry sing in print his cheerful tunes, let the boatman boom his wherry, let the grocer boost his prunes. But when men are buying shingles they will seek you in your lair, and will need no prose or jingles to induce their going there.”

Thus I heard the mossback speaking as he sadly wagged his ears, and his jaws and lungs were squeaking with the rust of many years. But I knew his talk was twaddle that would fool no modern guys; for it’s true that all men waddle to the stores that advertise.

Why should men who deal in lumber make no bid for larger trade? Why should they sit ’round and slumber, slumber sweetly in the shade? If an ad will bring new patrons to the gas works or the bank, if it sells new gowns to matrons, why won’t it sell a plank? If an ad will bring new buyers to the corner ginseng store, to the man who deals in plyers, why won’t it sell a door?

In our town there is a dealer, selling lumber all the year, and he is the boss appealer to the public’s grateful ear. Every day his little sermon in the paper shows its face; when on building folks determine, they go chasing to his place.

Keep your name before the public, keep your business house in view, and when men would build a steeple, they will surely think of you. Advertising pays, you bet you! They who say “No” are absurd. Never let your town forget you—make your name a household word.