And now for the moral! Imprimis, young heiresses,
Don’t go riding o’ nights, and don’t rob mayors or mayoresses;
As to robbing your suitors, allow me to say,
On the face of the thing ’tis a scheme that won’t pay;
Though they sigh and protest, and are dabs at love-making,
You’ll not find one in ten
Of these charming young men
Can produce on occasion a purse worth your taking.
Don’t refuse a good offer, but think ere you let a
Chance like that slip away, that you mayn’t get a better.
One more hint and I’ve done—
If by pistol or gun
It should e’er be your lot
(Which I hope it may not),
In a row to get shot,
And the doctor’s assistance should all prove in vain,
“When you give up the ghost, don’t resume it again.”
If you do choose to “walk” and revisit this earth
To play tricks, let some method be mixed with your mirth.
As to burning down houses and ruining folks,
And flaring about like a Fire-king’s daughter,—
Allow me to say there’s no fun in such jokes,
’Twould far better have been
To have copied Undine,—
There’s no harm in a mixture of spirits and water!
Frank E. S.